


The League

by tillichangemyluck



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Minor Violence, Narry - Freeform, Spy Harry, Spy Liam, Spy Louis, Spy Niall, spy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-19 04:18:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 138,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5953339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillichangemyluck/pseuds/tillichangemyluck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to become a member of The League, Niall is forced to kill his mentor in his final test. After his mission catches the attention of his boss, Harry, he must determine if Niall belongs there or if he should be terminated. Through the course of one important mission and a few retaliations they both realize there is more to one another than meets the eye. In fact, everything they ever thought they knew about the other may not be true at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Evaluation

It was the first time I killed a man. But it didn't feel like I thought it would… not that I think about killing people often, I don't-I didn't. It’s just; he gave me no choice... I hate when people say things like that because everything you do is a choice but not this. He forced my hand. God his hands were so cold. Instantly too. The second the bullet left the gun it was like his body knew there was no more need for the warmth. He was always smart like that. Lark would just know things before they happened. I wonder if he knew about this. Did he know I would have to kill him all along?

I don't feel responsible. Is that wrong? There isn't a single trace of guilt in my entire body. There never was. Maybe that's why they wanted me for this job. Am I still in shock? Was I ever in shock? When I think about it I just feel numb. The idea behind it makes me sick, but the actual act… I don’t regret it. I don’t stay up at night replaying it. I try not to think about it at all to be honest. It was only a week ago but I feel fine. That has to be it, the shock. It's the only real explanation for it.

They should've prepared me better for this. I haven’t been trained properly. I still have so much left to learn. Like why? Why would they complete your training like that? What good does killing my mentor actually do? Talk about a fucked up initiation. They get you to bond with this person, spend all of your time with them and then turn around and go ‘oh hey you need to shoot them point blank. Cheers.’

"Niall," Harry calls from the hallway. Calls is probably putting it nicely, he basically ordered me to leave my room. Shit. It's never good when the man in charge calls you out directly. "You don't want me to call for you again."

"No, sorry," I stumble out of the room, almost losing balance. I can only imagine what he's thinking. "‘M here. Sorry."

"So you are," Harry laughs… actually laughs. Is he allowed to do that? He clears his throat and removes any hint of emotion from his face. There's the mean son of a bitch we all know and fear. "I wanted to talk to you about Lark's termination…"

Oh fuck. Did I do something wrong? Was I not supposed to actually kill him? But he did it. He may as well have pulled the trigger. Can it even be my fault? Wait, would that be it? Am I in trouble for not acting on my own? I did it. I have the blood soaked shirt to prove it. Even held his body in my arms when he was gone. Was that wrong? Was Harry watching me that entire time? Of course he was, he's been watching every mission we've had. There are even rumors that he watches us sleep. I don't know if I believe those but it wouldn't be the most far-fetched thing out there. Harry is… well; he's someone you can never figure out. It could just be that we don't see enough of him to understand him. I feel like he’s the kind of guy you easily misunderstand. See, he's usually hiding off in the shadows, whispering to those closest to him when he wants to correct one of us. He’ll rarely speak to you directly and when he does you know you either fucked shit up or you’re the second coming. Physically he's a bit intimidating too. His height allows him to have the upper hand in certain situations, while not making him feel completely overwhelming. That probably wasn’t helpful. Let me put it this way, he isn't a giant but he's taller than me all right? I like to believe I'm about average on that scale. Well any scale really… Moving on. Harry’s voice is deep, a little roughish, kind of dark and stern. The way you'd expect it to be from someone in such a high position… I actually don't know what his real title is. We all just refer to him as the man in charge. I've never met anyone who seemed to rank higher than him. He clearly has all the power… and he's still standing in front of me. Shit. Fucking shit. Has he just been watching me this entire time? "Erm…" that's not even an actual word. He's going to have me killed next.

"Right, are you," he motions around his head, "alright?" Did he just ask me if I'm mentally okay?

"Yeah."

"Follow me," and just like that he turns back in the direction he came from. Fuck.

Is he taking me to his office? I'm so screwed. I walk behind him at a slower pace, trying to avoid that awkward walking next to someone but not saying anything thing. How did he come to this job? He's not the typical head of a top-secret spy organization character you’d think of. Maybe that's why he's always hiding off somewhere. Where are we going?

"Did I do something wrong?" That came out a lot more nonchalant than I thought it would. I seem to have mastered that part of training perfectly. Hide the truth. Never waiver. Come off as sure and confident of every choice or decision, even if you're shooting blind. Literally… Harry just continued on at the same pace, ignoring what I said. "Am I not allowed to even ask questions?" Oh shit. That wasn't supposed to be said out loud. Maybe there are still a few things I could've learned from Lark after all. Harry stopped short, forcing me to jerk back. I think he wanted me to walk into him so he'd have something else to berate me for.

"In here," he said, waiting for me to go first. I walk into a daunting room, filled with black curtains, a mahogany desk, velvet chairs and way too many candles. What the hell is this place? "Sit."

"Am I a dog?" And fuck. I did it again. Why don't I have a filter anymore? Was this a power Harry has over people? Is that how he made it all the way to the top, by breaking down barriers and making people verbalize everything on their minds?

"Alright, stand. I couldn't care less." He started walking back over towards the desk. "Do you know why you're here?"

"Lark's termination." That's all you told me anyway… Harry just stares at me, nodding subtlety, brows furrowed. Did I say something wrong already? Is this part of the intimidation tactic? Because it's working. "That's what you said…" Nothing changes. "Earlier when you uh… you called me out of my room…" Ordered. Ordered me out is more like it. Should I say something else? He's hasn't said a word. Not even a sound. "Then you brought me here." Forced. Forced me to follow you like a dog, where you then ordered me to sit. "And now I'm just rambling like an idiot because you're standing there, mute." Harry puts his hand in front of his mouth and turns his back to me quickly. He clears his throat, waiting a second before turning back to me, looking like the gargoyle from before.

"I wanted to personally conduct your follow up after Lark's termination." His words are slow, each one over pronounced.

"My follow up?"

"Every potential has a follow up proceeding their first termination. We need to get inside their heads. Find out how they handle it mentally, physically and emotionally."

"You mean murder. How we all handled murdering our mentors." I don't know why his word choice struck such a nerve. He seems so detached from it all. Is that what happens when you're here for too long? Wasn’t Lark his friend too? Does he even have friends?

"Not many potentials would speak to me so openly…" Harry narrowed his eyes. Shit. I'm about to be terminated too. I should apologize… wait, why? I mean it. Every single word. Why should I apologize for how I feel? If I'm about to sleep for eternity at least I won't leave as a mindless droid. They could train me however they wanted, assign me whatever missions, but my voice and mind will always be my own. I shrug, not risking choosing words that'll betray my burst of courage. "Interesting." Harry nods and picks up the remote lying on his desk. He pushes a few buttons and a monitor comes down from the ceiling.

"Sick." Did I… right. See this is why I tried to resign myself to silence earlier. Harry just turns away again, focusing on the monitor. After a few seconds I see myself on it, standing across from Lark. Fucking hell. He's going to make me watch it? This is some seriously messed up shit.

"I assume you know what this is." Harry sat down, eyes unwavering from mine. All I can do is nod, afraid that if I try to make a noise it'll sound like a drowning cat.

Harry presses play and I see Lark closing the door behind me. I remember that. It shouldn't have seemed unusual because everything we did was in secret, but it stood out. Something about the way he did it. His movements. It wasn't like the man I've grown to respect. For the past year I was his only student. He taught me everything, all the rules and regulations. He explained to me that we were here to fix the world, to save the innocent, restore order again. Any question I had Lark answered. We even shared a room, our thoughts, and our beliefs. Nothing was off limits. He knew me better than I knew myself. Often times it came from the long missions we were sent out on, the confined spaces we were hiding in to wait for the opportune moment. The trust we had to have that the other would watch our backs. I thought of him as a father- well I guess an older brother. He wasn't old enough to be my father, maybe only twelve years or so. Nothing insane. Normally when you hear the word “mentor” you think of some old washed up man, like Obi-Wan or Dumbledore. He was smart too. I know I said that before but he was so smart. Not book smart, no, he probably never opened a book in his life, but he knew things no one could even imagine. He knew things before they even happened. He was just on that level. He could logically figure something out and act before you could even blink. He saved my skin a few times in the beginning when I thought I was going to be forced out. I didn't deserve a leader like him.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, pulling me back to the present. Oh right, he's forcing me to watch the ultimate backstabbing. My Kylo Ren moment.

"Is there a point to this?" If there is, I sure as hell don't get it.

"To what?"

"This," my hands angrily point up to the screen.

"Interesting," Harry nods, pausing the tape. "Your voice seems to show no emotional reaction but your actions tell a different story." He opens a drawer, pulling out a file and writing something inside it. What is that? Is that a file on me? "So which is it?" Harry asks, setting his hands over the papers so I can't see them.

"What?"

"Are you emotional, or detached? That's what I'll determine here."

"Why?"

"Are you going to sit now? I'm sure your legs are getting tired in your weird reenactment of a teenage rebellion to stay standing." And to be fair he was right. My legs were killing me. That chair across from the desk was looking more and more appealing, until now. I don't think I want to be that close to someone monitoring my every move like I'm some sort of lab specimen.

"What is the point of any of this?"

“You’re smarter than that,” Harry leans back.

“This is the first time I’ve ever actually talked to you and the only reason you know my name is because of that thing on your desk.” Who does he think he is?

“This thing on my desk fills me in on the basics but that,” he points up to the screen, “tells me everything I need to know.” He pauses for a minute, almost as if he was debating saying what he wanted to. “Do you know who Lark was?” His words rang in my ears. Do I know who Lark was? What does he even mean by that?

“Course I do. I spent every bloody moment with him.” What is he trying to get at?

“You’re not a fan of our termination tactics,” he nods, observing my every twitch.

“I’m not a fan of murdering my friends. No. I don’t get it to be honest. You train us to be loyal, to be trustworthy, to put The League above all else, and then you order us to kill our mentors? It doesn’t add up. Where’s the loyalty in that?”

“Lark was sick. Has been for a few years. He came to me and asked if he could be a mentor before he really started to lose his health because that would have been worse to him. Zuley was a traitor. She caused the death of many of our agents and needed to be taken out. Tobias was a wanted man. He botched up his last solo mission and became the main target of every hired hit man in the country and he didn’t want to go out like that.” Harry paused to watch as I took all this in. The three previously terminated mentors, finally explained. “There is only two ways you become a mentor. You ask for it, plead your case and if I see fit you get it. Or, the other, if you go rogue and need to be eliminated… it’s a pretty easy solution. The reason we end your training on this task is to make sure that you’re 100% devoted to The League. That you’ll always follow out your orders, no matter what they might be.”

“I didn’t know there was logic behind it.” I felt pretty stupid honestly. How could I not realize there was a thought process to it? Of course there was. This is one of the most intelligent agencies around. Everything has a purpose. Why would terminations be any different? All of a sudden the desperation in Larks face came back to me. His eyes were pleading with me in that moment. The way he put the gun in my hand, forced me to hold it, put my hand on the trigger. He knew. He knew he was dying anyway and he wanted me to make it better for him. Selfish bastard.

“You should have. I thought you would’ve put it together sooner. All the notes in this file came solely from Lark. He had a lot of respect for you. Said you were smarter than all of the other potentials… He saw something in you that I admit I never did. When assigning a potential their mentor, I need to logically figure out whom I think will make it to the termination round. I picked you for Lark because I didn’t see that happening. I figured I’d be keeping my word by pairing him a potential, but that you’d be let go before ever making it this far. He fought for you though. Never had a bad word to say about you.” Harry slid the folder across the desk, motioning to me to pick it up. I reach out instinctually and flip through the pages.

“He always had such shit penmanship.”

“You can keep it if you want. I don’t think I need it anymore.” Harry turned back to the monitor and hit play again. I couldn’t help but look up too. There wasn’t any sound, I don’t know if he just turned it off or they never record it, but there didn’t need to be. I watched as Lark handed me the gun. It was weird, seeing this angle. It was focused on me. This is what he saw when he knew he was going to die. I tried to take it all in. The way my blue eyes kept scanning Lark’s face for an answer. The way my pale hands shook and I laughed nervously to a punch line I would’ve sworn was coming. I watched as Lark wrapped my hands around the gun, my blonde hair falling in my eyes as I tried to jokingly shake it all away… I really need a haircut. Seeing myself like this made me realize I took it all as a joke. Did he realize I knew how serious it was? That the laughter and humor was my way to ease the tension? I wanted to turn away, look at something else, but I couldn’t. This was it; the last thing Lark saw, his final moments. Poor fellow. Imagine my mug being the last thing you see.

He knew it was coming though. He was in on it all along. Even without the sound I could swear I heard the gunshot all over again. I watch as he falls back, hitting the ground so fast. He died almost instantly. My hand was shaking more than it appeared so I didn’t have the best shot but it did the trick. And there it is. My guilt-free, confused, self, holding him in my arms. Harry pauses it and turns to me. “Why did you do that? Was it remorse?”

“I wish,” I laughed. He clearly didn’t understand what I mean so I continued, “I don’t feel guilty. Never did.”

“So why kneel down beside him?” Harry pressed his fingertips together and placed them in front of his mouth.

“Dunno,” I shrugged. “It felt right.”

“Kneeling down to hold the man you just murdered feels right?”

“Kneeling down to hold my dying friend felt right,” I corrected him.

“Very well. You’re dismissed.” He waves his hand towards the door. “You may go now.”

“That’s it?” It was so short.

“That’s it,” Harry nods. He turns his back to me and walks over to the screen. He pushes a few buttons on it, turning it into a security screen split into nine different scenes. Each one is a different area in the Potential's wing of the common ground. So this really is what he does in his spare time, watches all of us. I take that as my cue and leave silently.

What just happened? Did I pass? Is he drawing up a ruse to have me terminated next? Will he make the other potentials do it?


	2. Initiation or Termination?

“Niall Horan, report to briefing room number 344 immediately.” I jump out of bed, looking around nervously. Did someone just say something? “I repeat. Niall Horan, report to briefing room number 344 immediately.” Oh shit. I stumble around looking for some clothes to throw on, knowing every second I spend still in this room is another second I’m going to be reamed for. I need to just start sleeping in my clothes. After searching for three seconds too many I run out of the room, shoes still untied. Why couldn’t it have just been briefing room number 101? That’s a nice number. First floor. First room. Simple. Easy. Close. Of course who ever chose this knows my room is on the first floor, odd hallway. It’s like they were messing with me on purpose. I sprinted around a corner as the lift doors ahead of me shut. Crap. Stairs it is. I hate the stairs. Lark used to love them. He’d say they kept him young, ready for anything. I remember everything he used to say about them as I’m jumping up two at a time.

It’s been five days since I met with Harry to discuss Lark’s termination. I haven’t heard a word since. I’ve been stuck in my room, thinking of all the ways he planned to end my initiation. Like maybe poison gas through the vents, snakes through the window, another potential greeting me with a gun or a knife to the gut while I sleep. They all were plausible. You’d think that would scare me more than it does, knowing my current employers have the ability to wipe my existence from this planet. Honestly though, I wouldn’t mind. There’s a reason I swore an oath when they recruited me to cut all ties, never fall in love, never start a family or get emotional to my past. It’s a rebirth, a new beginning, swearing allegiance to The League and nothing else. This is our family, our future, our reason for being. What more do you need?

“Niall,” Harry nods as I open the door. Wait, why is he here? He’s giving me the briefing? I don’t understand. He never gets involved with briefings. They’re beneath someone of his level. “Stay standing.” Did he just make a joke? I don’t move, too scared to challenge his order. There is someone else in the room, but they have their back turned to me.

“Is there a mission?” God please let there be a mission. I can’t stand staying in my room alone, looking at Lark’s half any longer. It’s driving me insane. The one downside to being a potential is that you don’t have any freedom to roam about the compound. Because they’re still unsure about your commitment or if you’re trustworthy enough you’re basically locked inside your dorming area until you’re needed elsewhere.

“Yes. A solo one. We need you to infiltrate a known arms dealer’s home, secure the premises and terminate him. He’s been involved in some dealings that need to be halted immediately. It’s a matter of national security. We’ve gotten word that he’ll be there in one hour. You’ll have less than that to succeed. There’s a window... Trad, the map please.” Harry seems to be talking to the other man in the room. He nods and within seconds an entire blueprint of the home I needed to break into was covering every wall of the room. “Right, so here,” Harry uses a laser pointer to make sure we were on the same page, “is your point of entry. Here is about where the target will be. You need to be quick, silent, and successful. Can you handle it?”

“Course I can. When do I leave?” I ask calmly. This is what I need. A chance to prove I can do it all on my own. Make up for whatever fault they saw in the Lark fiasco. Something to move on.

“Now. Trad, give him the bag. Inside is everything you will need. I’m not going to explain how to use them, if you don’t know at this point you don’t deserve to come back.” Harry starts walking to the door, already done with the conversation. Trad hands me my tools, as the door closes behind Harry. I look up from the bag and freeze. Trad looks almost exactly like Lark… Maybe what he would’ve looked like when he was my age. I can’t take my eyes off him suddenly. It isn’t Lark. There’s no way he’s Lark.

“He was my brother,” Trad turns around and leaves me all alone in the room. Lark never mentioned having a family. Then again you’re not allowed to talk about your family so I guess that’s why… but if his brother worked here too why couldn’t they acknowledge each other? The lights in the briefing room shut off and I realize that I should be long gone by now. I pull out the flash drive from the pocket of the bag and run towards the car park, shaking Lark’s image out of my mind. Now is not the time to get distracted. Nothing else matters but the mission at hand.

I have to admit, the more I think about it and the closer I get to my destination, the more I realize this was a weird mission. I don’t have any level of clearance higher than entry level, if even that, so there’s always holes in the information I’m given but this seemed off. An arms dealer? That’s his only crime? Dealing to the wrong people? What made it national security? And I’m supposed to break into his home, his actual home? Does he have a family? Are there people there? It seems more reckless than a skilled mission to save the world. Maybe this is the low level. Ridding the world of dirt bags and showing my strengths. They probably use the Potentials to clean the streets. We all have to start somewhere I guess. All of a sudden the car stops short, jolting me forward. Crap. I’m here.

I wait a few seconds, cautiously scanning the area before getting out of the car. I briskly walk up to the house, leaning against the wall. I reach into the bag for my wall grips and start to slowly scale the house… if you could even call it a home. It looked more like a compound. Arms dealers can never be too careful I guess. I’m shocked there isn’t more security in a place like this. At least no known security… This window better fucking work. Wait, was that a shadow? There’s someone inside. Fuck. No one is supposed to be in this room. Remain calm. It’s okay. You can still do this. Carefully.

I slowly reach over to the window. The shadow grows bigger. Whoever it is, they’re coming closer. Wait, there’s another one too. Fuck. There’s someone else in the house. Maybe I should just find another way in.

Vincent Binet. That’s the only person who should be here. There’s only supposed to be one target. One casualty. Was I being tested? Did Harry deliberately set this up so that I’ll fail? I should’ve known. This is my termination. I’ve disappointed Lark. I let him down. I’m so sorry mate. You were the only person I ever wanted to make proud. I hold onto the wall, waiting for something to happen. I don’t know what I was waiting for to be honest, maybe a sign from the great beyond. The shadows start to fade away, signaling that they’ve turned around. I guess that’s as good a sign as any. I push my way in through the unlocked window and crouch down. As my eyes scan the entire room my mind starts turning over every possibility of how this can play out. Maybe Lark rubbed off on me because for the first time I stopped worrying and started seeing. I can do this.

I stand and quickly glide across the floor to the door, waiting, listening, before poking my head out. Trust your instincts. That’s what Lark was always telling me. My gut was my lifeline. Well if he could hear it screaming he’d probably have me run back out. Something is definitely off here. Should I pull out my phone? See if any contact will answer with my check in? No. Harry stressed that this was a solo mission. If I try to call out for help I’ll be terminated for sure.

“For fucks sake,” a voice screams down the hall.

“Shhhhhhh,” someone answers.

Trust my gut. Be aware. I’m walking into something different. Either our intel was way off or this is a trap. I need to improvise. Carefully I make my way down the hall towards the voices. There’s no use sticking to the original plan. There are people this way, I know that for a fact and need to focus on that. As I turn the corner I can hear the scuffle of feet. There are at least three or four people in that room. It’s about to be a bloodbath. Them or me. That’s what it’ll come down to. This is the job. I knew that when I pledged to always put The League before myself. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before squatting down. I might have an advantage if I stay to the ground. Once I’m in position my hands tighten on silencer of my gun, tracing around it. There’s no time to waste. In and out. I move so that I can see who my victims might be and freeze. Is that Harry? Why would he be here? He’s clearly not one of my targets.

“Horan, ya made it! Bout damn time,” Liam screams, smile plastered on. He’s clearly had a few.

“Look who the cat dragged in,” Louis chuckles.

“Silence,” Harry turns to me, walking closer. “Stand up. Now.” He was so demanding. Emotionless. Ruthless. I sprang up as fast as I could. Harry just takes another step closer to me. I can feel the hot air every time he takes a breath. No one dares to speak. Harry reaches over and grabs the gun out of my hand. I think he expected me to fight, beg, flinch, to do something, but I didn’t. I hold my head up high and keep my eyes on his. Willing him to do it. I won’t go out like a coward. Harry raises the gun to my side, pressing it hard into my shirt. He’s going to let me suffer, watch me bleed out right in front of him. Sadistic bastard. He actually enjoys all of this. My focus remains on his face, memorizing every single detail. Finally I feel what Lark felt. The only control he had in his last moments was to take in what I looked like, how I seemed. Harry was the complete opposite of me. There was no laughter, no shaking, no tension slowly pulling his finger onto the trigger. He was a professional. I hear the light pop of the gun without warning. He didn’t even flinch. Immediately I feel the sting in my side and clench my teeth. This is it then. “Impressive,” Harry clears his throat, turns around and walks away from me. I hesitate for a second before looking down at my side. There was a circle of red staining my shirt but I didn’t feel anything happening.

“Newbie didn’t even blink,” Liam’s eyes were wide.

“Lark was right bout him,” Louis chimes in.

“So he was.” Harry opens up a briefcase on the desk and pulls out a pin. “It’s time to make it official.” What? What just happened? I’m so confused. I watch as Harry walks back to me, pin in hand. Is he going to slit my throat with that? “Welcome to The League Niall Horan,” he says, pinning it to my collar.

“This is the initiation?” I don’t really know how I managed to sound so calm. That is by far the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten.

“It is. Thought you would’ve pissed yourself though,” Louis frowns. “Bet ten quid on it.”

“I had more faith in you,” Liam smiles, holding his hand out to Louis. “Did ya know it was just a paintball?” Fuck. A paintball? That is not a paintball gun. How did they manage that one? I just shake my head.

“From this moment on, you are the only member of the incoming class. You have a lot of responsibility falling on your shoulders. Louis and Liam will help you out since they’re the latest additions-“

“Only member?” I cut Harry off mid sentence, which is something I should probably never do again. His eyes narrow and he nods.

“No one else passed the follow up to their terminations. I expect you won’t let us down. Take tonight to relax, the rest of The League are downstairs with the food and drinks. This is your last night of freedom. Remember that.” Harry turns around and heads towards the door.

“You’re not staying?” I didn’t mean to question his movements but it just came out.

“I don’t mingle with anyone below a level fifteen clearance,” he nods. “Good day,” and with that he was off. A level fifteen clearance? I don’t think I’ve met anyone that high. Even lark was only a level thirteen. I guess that’s why Harry could talk so coldly of his death. Remain detached so when one of us dies or needs to be taken care of it won’t keep him up at night. I wonder how many members he’s had killed. How many of these pins he’s placed on people whose hits he’s ordered. Was this the right decision? It’s not like much has changed. I learned long ago that I could only ever trust myself.

“Better to party without the boss anyway,” Liam points out as he walks over and puts an arm around me. “Welcome to the club!”

“Hold on there, it ain’t official just yet,” Louis points out with a smirk. “There are a few unofficial missions he must complete.” The two exchange a glance, leading me down the hall.

“I’m the only new member?” For some reason I can’t get passed that one fact. There were 50 of us the first day, 42 after a week, 29 by the halfway point, and three five days ago.

“You’re the only one,” Liam answers. His tone was softer than before. He looks down, nodding to himself almost as if he was having a moment of silence for those who didn’t make it.

“Take it as a compliment. The newbies get less and less each year. In fact there hasn’t been a new member for three years now,” Louis informs me.

“Three years? I thought you two were the newest ones?” I don’t understand.

“We were,” Liam replies.

“Three years ago,” Louis adds. He shrugs and hits the button for the lift. “No one has been able to achieve Harry’s standards ever since.”

“Louis don’t,” Liam’s eyes were wide, warning him against whatever Louis was about to say.

“Oh come on now, the lad has a right to know. He’ll find out eventually anyway won’t he?” The doors open to the lift and they walk in. I hesitated for a moment before following.

“Know what?” There were so many things I wanted to know that it was getting impossible to believe there were things I haven’t thought about yet.

“Something happened with Harry a few years back,” Louis starts.

“Lou,” Liam’s voice was stronger, harsher. The lift opens back up and there is music blasting through speakers nearby.

“Ah there it is. You’re in luck Liam! The party has already started. Word of the initiation has been passed. It’s time to get you pissed,” Louis turns to me. “Shall we?”

Honestly I don’t care much for the party at this point, I was intrigued. What happened a few years ago with Harry? Why haven’t Potentials been able to meet his expectations ever since? What made me so special that I broke the drought? After a few minutes though I can’t even keep up with my own thoughts let alone piece together one of the million mysteries that make up Harry Styles. Everyone greets me with a slap on the back and a pint in hand that I’m told I need to chug. It’s safe to say after a few ‘congratulations’ into the night I forget my own name. What were we celebrating again? Did I do something?

 

 


	3. The X Room

There’s a loud horn playing over the speakers in my room, causing me to fall out of bed. Why did they place them on the wall where my head rests? Maybe I should start using Lark’s old bed to give me a little bit of distance. Bloody hell. Someone shut that shit off. “For fuck sake!” I grab a pillow and try to drown it out. What the hell was I thinking last night? Why did I listen to that lot? Never again.

Finally after what felt like years of torture the horn shuts off. “Thank god,” I close my eyes again.

“Horan, get your arse up,” Louis pounds on my door. I’m going to kill him one day.

“Leave me alone you twat,” I call back, keeping my eyes closed. What was I dreaming about? Something better than this, that’s for sure.

“Unlock the damn door or I’ll break it down!”

“Fucking hell,” I slowly stand up, taking in the spinning room around me. Okay, lets try shutting my eyes. That’s better. I take a few steps forward, hands outstretched to find the door. I slide it open and turn back around, heading straight for my bed.

“Oi you look dapper,” Louis laughs. I hear Liam’s light laughter in the background. Of course he’s there too. These two seem to always pop up together.

“Are you living?” Liam asks. I feel the bed dip down and a hand on my head. At least someone would care if they were ordered to shoot me.

“Fuck me!” Louis screams as the horn starts up again. “That’s vile.” I whimper in reply, wishing Harry really had just shot me last night. I feel two hands placed over my ears, trying to shield me from the noise. It’s obviously Liam. Bless him. I open my eyes to exchange a thankful glance and he nods back.

“Did they do that to you?” Liam asks, turning to face Louis.

“Hell no. I would’ve shot em.” Louis scrunches up his face, pressing his hands over his own ears. “You?”

“No. He’s getting worse,” Liam screams over the blast. Finally the horn stops and his hands fall from my ears.

“Who is?” I ask, slowly sitting up. Liam places an arm on my shoulder to keep me steady.

“Harry. Good ol Harold,” Louis turns his head up toward the corner of the room and continues, “the best boss in all the land!” he smirks and turns back to me. “Just in case he’s listening in,” Louis winks. Shit. Have they had experience with that? Has Harry listened in and reprimanded them for something?

“When does that end?” I know I move out of the potential wing eventually, with more privacy and freedom, but for all I know that could take five more years.

Louis shrugs. “Dunno. Never I suppose.”

“What?” That doesn’t make any sense.

“It’s what we agreed to. As long as we’re in the compound anything we say or do could be recorded. Security reasons and all that,” Liam adds, trying to remind me what’s in store for my future.

Am I crazy? I willfully signed up for a lonely existence filled with danger, zero privacy and the possibility that my own thoughts could get me killed by my boss… But, that’s not what The League is all about. That’s only the cliff notes version. It makes it look bad. The League is pristine. It’s the justice the world needs. We weed away the bad in the world, fight crime, and make the world a safe place to live in. We endure the pain, fights, torture, and exile all to protect the innocent. It’s a reason to be. Before The League I was just a boy living a meaningless life. My family was just a bunch of strangers. I didn’t have too many friends. Don’t get me wrong I was a likeable lad, people always wanted to be around, but I didn’t always want them to be if you know what I mean. I like to be alone. I don’t trust anyone, so joining The League was the perfect solution. I escaped my family, got out of that dead end town we lived in, and made a new life for myself. I can help others; give them a chance to live in a better world. There’s just a few catches alone the way.

“You all right mate?” Liam asks, bringing me back out of my head.

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Right, are you two about to make out or can we go grab a bite? I’m starved.” Louis shoves us.

“All right, all right,” Liam jumps up off the bed. He turns to face me and offers a hand to help me up.

“You go,” I shake my head.

“No man gets left behind,” Liam smiles, insisting I come.

“Honestly I can’t,” I slowly fall back down, flat on the bed, and close my eyes.

“Leave em be, poor rookie can’t keep up.” Louis shoves my feet and then pulls Liam towards the door. “Let him rest.”

“We’ll try to sneak you out something,” Liam calls as Louis shoves him. The door slides shut behind them and I whimper at the noise. Finally, peace and quiet.

To be completely honest, I wasn’t in as bad a shape as I let them believe. It’s not the first time I drank my weight all night long. Where I come from last night was just a typical Friday night. Hell that might’ve even been a Wednesday night back home. I just didn’t want to deal with them. That sounds worse than I mean it to; they’re both decent people. I’ve seen them on and off all throughout my time here. They had a lot to do with helping the Potentials on briefings, finding our ways around and all that kind of stuff. Liam is a stickler for getting done whatever needs to be done. He was often the one in charge, letting us know what we needed and when to do it. He’s also reasonable and caring, as he showed by trying to make sure I wasn’t killed by those bloody horns. He’s a good lad through and through. I don’t know how he ended up in this line of work to be honest; I can’t picture him taking a life. But he is well built. I wouldn’t want to have to fight him by any means. He could probably end me with one hand tied behind his back.

Louis on the other hand is a real piece of work. Don’t get me wrong, I like him but he’s the kind of guy that’ll get you into all kinds of trouble. He’s snappy, snarky, scrappy. He’d probably fight dirty. He’s also mischievous. Louis is definitely the kind of guy you’d love to be around but hate to be caught with. You’d end up getting in trouble and he’d get off free somehow. Which isn’t something I can afford. I don’t think I’m on the best terms with Harry at the moment. And then when you put Liam and Louis together like that, you might as well say your prayers.

I sit back up and scan the room, thinking of my options. I’m actually starved but if I go to the cafeteria at the moment I’ll run into them. There are always the vending machines but they’re crap. I wish I could get take away but I don’t have access to any kind of phone and I don’t know if I’m able to leave the compound all by myself yet. I think you need a level five clearance for that. Oh well, back to sleep it is then. I close my eyes and blindly reach for the covers. “For fuck sake already mate,” I scream as the horn starts back up. Honestly, what is the point to that? “Sadistic is what that is.” Part of me hopes Harry is listening so he knows I’m calling him out. I think he heard though because this one lasts longer than all the others. I’m never going to doubt how he became the boss again. He may be coy but he knows how to get you.

Finally the noise stops, but I hear someone clear their throat. Did I imagine that? Did Louis and Liam come back already? Maybe if I play dead they’ll go away and let me sleep. Someone kicks my bed after a few more seconds. Right. So I guess I’m waking up. I open my eyes slowly and freeze.

“I thought you might need this,” Harry says, offering me a pizza box. I sit up quickly, scanning the room. Do we get marked for messiness? Because my room looks like my closet had the stomach flu for weeks. “The horn might’ve been a bit harsh,” he explains, as I still haven’t replied. Oh right, it’s my turn to talk.

“A bit?” I force a laugh. “Mate it even woke the dead.”

“Probably. Just don’t tell anyone about this.” He places the pizza on my desk and turns to walk back out.

“A whole pie?” I ask reaching out to it.

“Indeed.”

“Well, you want some then?” As much as I want to eat it all by myself, I know I should at least ask if he wants any. Harry freezes with his back to me. I think he’s actually debating it for a minute. “I know you don’t hang out with low levels like little old me, but pizza makes people break any rule.” He turns to face me, a small smile forming.

“You have a long way to go before I can grace you with my presence,” he replies. He turns back around and reaches for the door. “You tell anyone I brought you that and the horn will sound like a feather falling compared to what will be in store for you.”

“You have my word,” I reply as he opens the door. He walks out, leaving me more confused than ever. I can’t figure him out. It’s almost as if he wants people to believe he’s hard, stern, a nightmare, but in reality he’s just a normal man who feels remorse. Is he capable of that? I mean he’s still the one who assigned me to murder Lark, someone he seemed to care for. How could he actually have a conscience? All of this thinking is giving me a headache. I really need to just stop trying to figure him out. It’s safe to assume I’ll never know more than he wants me to.

I spend the next hour finishing off the pizza and cleaning up my room. I had forgotten that the floor was heated. Was that a fire hazard having my clothes all over it? It couldn’t have been good… Now I know why Lark always made me keep it spotless. Sometimes I miss his raspy yelling. He had that deep, smoker’s voice that you get from inhaling three packs a day. But there was a hint of kindness hidden underneath every word. Something that made you listen to him. As I throw my last shirt into the hamper I hear the door sliding open.

“Whoa what happened?” Liam asks, clearly confused.

“Did they clone you? I heard about that shit ya know. It’s supposed to be in the testing stages,” Louis informs us.

“Clones?” Suddenly my mind flashes back to Trad.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s been on about that for ages,” Liam explains. “He saw some documentary on it and hasn’t been able to forget it since.”

“I saw it with me own eyes!” Louis corrects him.

“You wanna tell that story again? I bet Harry would love to hear it,” Liam challenges, smirking.

“Fuck off mate,” Louis swats his arm in Liam’s direction. “How’d this miracle happen?” he points back to me.

“Dunno,” I shrug. Liam’s eyes dart to the pizza box on my desk.

“Who brought you that?” he asks.

“Dunno his name. One of the upper levels from last night. Said he felt bad for me, knew I couldn’t go out meself so,” I just gesture to the box to finish the lie. It sounded convincing enough I guess since they didn’t ask anything else on the topic.

“Why the cleaning?” Louis looks around, “I mean it was needed but I thought you were two seconds from death.”

“The food gave me energy I guess.” That wasn’t completely a lie; it did help me clean up. To be fair I didn’t know the real reason behind needing to clean right then. Once Harry left I just felt so embarrassed that he saw the state my room was in that I needed to change it. No one wants to look like a slob in front of his or her boss.

“Does he seem different to you too?” Louis turns to Liam.

“You might be onto something with that cloning shit,” Liam nods in agreement.

“All right, all right,” I wave them both off. “Did ya want something?”

“Testy,” Louis mocks.

“Niall Horan report to the X Room,” a voice screams through the speakers. “Niall Horan report to the X Room.”

“The X Room?” I have no idea what or where that is.

“No fucking way,” Louis gasps.

“What’s the X Room?” I ask, looking at the confusion on Liam and Louis’s faces. The mix of shock and intrigue was enough to make me worry.

“Have you ever?” Liam turns to Louis.

“Never,” he answers. “But the newbie…”

“Unbelievable,” Liam finishes.

“What’s going on here?” I couldn’t take another minute of this. I hate when everyone in the room knows something but me. It drives me insane, their short worded exchanges with some hidden meaning.

“Unbelievable. How does he get invited to the X Room before us?” Louis throws his hands up. “Have you any idea where it is?” I just shake my head no in reply, feeling a little embarrassed.

“It’s on the top floor,” Liam starts to explain.

“It IS the top floor,” Louis interrupts.

“What’s its purpose?”

“No fucking clue. You’re gonna have to fill us in on that one,” Louis shakes his head. “The place has top level security. The lift won’t even go that high without a full body scan. The list is supposedly updated every half hour with who needs to get in. Their clearance only lasts till the next update.”

“Why the hell do they want me there?” I can feel my heart start to race. What goes on in that room? Why am I being told to go there? What’s so secretive about it?

“Dunno mate,” Liam shrugs, almost disappointed he couldn’t be more helpful to me. “You should probably go though. If they’re waiting on you…”

“Shit,” I run out the door and towards the lift as fast as I can. I always forget that when they ask you to go to a room you have a short timeline of actually showing up. My mind flashes back to the one time I showed up a few seconds too late during training. The second I walked into that room the doors shut, locking me inside. I was completely alone, listening to a voice yelling at me that I had failed. Lark wasn’t even there; just the screaming, the pitch black surrounding and my failure. I was left in there for over 42 hours listening to the same speech, shivering in the cold, unable to see a damn thing. Right then and there I swore I’d never miss any type of calling. Especially when Lark told me that was getting off easy because it was my first offense. I’ll never forget how small that room felt. The way I could’ve sworn the walls were caving in around me, the darkness suffocating me. I still wake up shivering from it. It’s weird how they seem to know your deepest fears so that they can use them against you. I wonder if I ever told Lark about my hatred of small spaces, dark rooms and complete isolation. I probably did, considering I told him everything, but there’s no way he would’ve used that against me. That had to be purely Harry’s doing.

I walk inside the lift, pressing my hand against the scanner. A laser runs up and down my body. “Niall Horan” a voice calls out. I stop and look around slowly but there’s no one there. Okay… I hit the top floor and watch the doors shut. So the X Room… what could that stand for. X… x… x… what words even begin with an x?


	4. Security Breach

I never realized just how big our headquarters actually is. Maybe that’s because I’ve been confined to such a small portion of it, but there’s so much beyond the Potential’s area. The lift just keeps rising for what seems like hours, which isn’t helping my anxiety over not being able to figure out the X Room. As usual, my mind jumps to all the ways this is going to go terribly. It’s not like I could’ve done anything wrong since I last spoke with Harry… he offered me pizza! And I kept his secret like I said I would, so I couldn’t have upset him.

There’s a slight shake as the lift comes to a stop. “Niall Horan, prepare to enter the X Room,” a voice calls out. That’s strange. There’s never anyone talking to you in here… Before I can even try to understand what that meant the doors open into… a room? I think? I’m not actually sure what it would be called. It wasn’t a hallway like you would’ve expected but it wasn’t a tiny room either. It was a mostly opened area as far as the eye could see. I don’t even know where the end of the room is; it goes on for so long.

“Niall Horan I presume,” a woman says walking over to me. She looks me up and down, wrinkling her nose. “You’re younger than I expected.”

“Sorry?” I mean it more as a pardon me than an apology but that’s not how she takes it.

“Whatever. This way.” The woman turns and starts sprinting across the gigantic room. I have no choice but to follow her, looking everywhere I could for a clue.

“Where are we going?”

“Shh,” she waves me off and keeps walking, focused on the tablet in her hand. She seems to be reading something that looks like a map… I squint my eyes to try and see it better over her shoulder but I wish I hadn’t. Now I know why it looks so familiar. It’s what we’re given in missions when someone is directing us in our ear. She clearly has a piece hidden behind her auburn hair, which is why she didn’t want me to talk to her. I’m her mission? Can I still be terminated? I suppose you could be terminated at any given moment but for what? Before I can recall every mistake I’ve made in the last twenty-two years of my life we turn a corner and the woman stops. She seems puzzled, shaking her head side to side. “That doesn’t even make sense!” She throws her hands up in defeat and turns to me. “Place your left hand on the wall, palm first.”

“Where?”

“On the wall!”

I stop and stare at her for a moment, feeling as confused as she looks. “The wall is huge…”

“Just put it anywhere on the wall. I don’t know. All I know is what I’m told and right now they’re saying you need to place your hand on the wall.” Her words quickened, filling with irritation. Great. So I could possibly be on my way to my death with a woman who seems more than willing to volunteer to help cause it. Instead of asking anything else I take two steps forward and hold my hand against the wall. The entire thing flashes red and a bell rings.

“Welcome Niall Horan,” the same voice from the elevator says. Is that actually someone’s job? Do they just sit somewhere and say commands every time someone comes up here?

“Here,” the woman holds out the tablet to me. “Take it. Follow it.”

“You’re not coming any further?”

“This is as far as I’m allowed,” she shrugs and turns to go.

“Wait, do you know what the X Room is?” I don’t know why I ask her but she seems amused by the question. She faces me once again, smiling.

“Nope. Good luck,” and with that she turns back around and heads towards the lift. Great. Now what do I do? I’m stuck staring at a wall that’s glowing red and no one to ask. I don’t even have a way to communicate with anyone else. No earpiece. No mic. No messaging system on the tablet. All that’s on it is a map with a circle and my name above it. I look closer at the other circle that moves further away with each second. Alessandra. That must be the woman’s name. As soon as she gets inside the lift and is out of sight I start to feel anxious again. On the up side, she’s not about to fulfill her fantasy of murdering me. That’s a plus.

“Prepare to proceed Niall Horan,” the voice speaks again. I look back at the wall, trying to figure out what was about to happen. Slowly the wall starts to separate, creating a door. Why is this place so secretive? What are they hiding up here? “Enter now,” the voice commands. I really want to give this person a piece of my mind. “Enter now,” they say again with a little more attitude, almost as if they could hear my thoughts. Fuck. All right, I get it. Clearly I’m not moving fast enough.

I walk up and open the door, cautiously scanning the other side. It’s pitch black. I turn back around but the door shuts behind me and disappears. Crap. What the hell is going on? Why isn’t there any light? I can feel my heart rate increase with each unanswered second. Is this where they torture people? Experiment on them? Why do I have to hate dark, tight spaces? I feel like I fell into a garbage compactor. The tablet in my hand starts beeping. Not just once, but a consistent stream of beeps. This is madness. All of a sudden the tablet screams “Warning. Self destruction to occur in five… four…” I panic, unsure of what to do. I close my eyes and throw it in any direction, hoping there’s enough room for it to explode away from me. I see the room light up for a brief second as pieces of the tablet fly at me. I duck for cover and realize that I’m left utterly alone now. So this is how it ends? At least I’ve had a good ride, ate a proper last meal.

Lights start flashing red, while a siren goes off. It didn’t help me see a goddamn thing though. If anything it just made it all worse. “Niall, this way,” a familiar voice calls out. I can’t place who it is with the noise frying my mind at the moment. I feel a tug on my arm and start walking that way. Each step gets faster than the last. Within seconds we’re sprinting through the chaos.

“What’s going on?” I don’t understand any of this.

“Security breach. This way,” I’m pulled abruptly to the left, then right, then left again. I swear we’re currently running through a maze. Doors are flying open and shut everywhere we turn. The siren is giving me flashbacks to the horn that wouldn’t let up earlier. Was that really the same day? I hear a loud thud. “Fuck,” the person leading me screams out. I’m pretty sure they just ran into something.

“You alright?” That’s what happens when you run a marathon in the dark. Seriously, a security breach and suddenly the lights go out? That’s got to be the dumbest solution ever. How can you see whoever or whatever it is you’re trying to catch?

“Yeah. How’s your jumping?”

“My what?”

“When I say to, we’re going to jump. Fast. Far. High. You ready?”

“Wait, what? Why?” This has to be some sort of sick joke. Am I about to fall to my death? I can’t see shit; I’m sprinting through who knows what and now I have to jump over something?

“Jump,” and just like that we jump. I decide to imagine that I’m jumping over a nice pile of pillows or a bouncy house. Maybe even a trampoline. As my feet hit the ground again I stumble over, unprepared. I feel two hands pull me up. “All right?”

“I’m good,” I instinctually start running again.

“Wait, stop.” I see a keypad light up.

“Welcome Harry Styles. Please enter,” why is his commanding voice so much nicer than mine? Shit wait, Harry? Harry is the one who came to get me? Why?

“Come on,” he pulls on my arm again. “Quickly, we only have a few minutes to get inside.”

“Inside where?” I’m starting to get used to never knowing where I am.

“Here,” Harry plays around with another pad and doors open once more. We walk inside together and hear the thud, as the doors slam shut. Finally we’re in a room with decent lighting. I can actually see my hands in front of me. The noise stops too. I look around, more confused than ever. Are we in someone’s living quarters? “Finally,” Harry lets out a satisfied sigh as he walks towards the kitchen.

“Aren’t you worried about the security problem?” I mean I’m no rocket scientist but come on, when something goes wrong involving security your boss should probably care.

“Oh it wasn’t real,” Harry laughs. “We’ve been testing out the new systems. That one just happened to get away from us. Trad is working on it now.”

“So what was with the Olympics back there?”

“I wanted to get away from that awful lighting, back to some peace and quiet. It’s soundproof in here. The alarm isn’t anywhere near finished yet and there was only a five minute countdown till the doors lock everyone in wherever they are,” Harry answers like it was so simple. One thing definitely didn’t make sense though. If there were a limited amount of time to make it back here why would he risk being shut out to take me with him? I’m sure I slowed him down some.

“Why bring me?”

“It was either that or leave you with that blasted alarm, and we both know you’ve had more than your fair share of noise intrusion today,” Harry smiles. “Want a drink?”

“Uh, no…” This really is where he lives. I try to remember how we got here to figure out where exactly this is. “Are we still on the top floor? Near the X Room?”

“Technically.”

“Technically?”

“We’re on the same floor, but it’s a bit of a journey to the X Room. You didn’t even make it there before the alarm.” Harry pours himself a glass of water. “You sure you don’t want anything?”

“Yeah, ‘m sure.” I watch him walk back in my direction. “So you live here?”

“Where else would I live? I eat, sleep and breathe The League,” he shrugs. “I’m constantly working. There’s no down time for me.” He nods to something behind me so I turn around quickly. There on the wall is a screen split into twelve different security cameras, each one changing to different locations all throughout the compound. Not just the Potentials wing like in his office. So the rumors were all true then. He actually watches over us all in his home. That’s fucked up. This guy needs a break.

“I’ve heard about taking your work home with you but this really takes the cake on that one. I thought upper levels get to actually have a place of their own.”

“They do. As long as they’re not the one responsible for every single one of you living under this roof. How can I leave when this place is a target? If anyone finds out where we are it could be catastrophic. I can’t walk away at night knowing the lives of people who trust me are on the line. If I go and something happens here I can’t prevent it. But if I stay here, then at least I know I did all I could.” There’s a brief moment of silence as Harry looks down to the floor. He traces the outline of the square tiles with the tip of his foot. I just stand there stunned. Here I was, believing that he didn’t give a damn about our lives when he’s actually given all of his to protecting us. Why is this guy harder to figure out than a Rubik’s Cube? I try to think of what to say next, afraid of the line we were walking.

“Why are you testing the security systems out?” I decide that it’s better to change back to the logical topic, but the longer I look at Harry the more I start to regret it.

“The less you know, the better,” he finally answers.

“Why did you call me up to the X Room?”

“Do you only ever ask questions?” Harry takes a long sip of his drink, holding the cup to his lips longer than needed. I’ve come to notice whenever he returns a question he tries to remain mysterious, just staring at you long and hard until you answer. Probably just part of an intimidation tactic, trying to make you crumble under pressure. It’s hard to think of a good lie with those green eyes zeroing in on you, unwavering. I don’t even think he blinks until you talk. It makes it hard to think.

“Only when no one gives me answers,” I shrug in reply. It still surprises me how calm I sound when I talk. Harry chuckles.

“Fair enough. I needed you for a mission.”

“What kind of mission?”

“One that required extra security measures.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You know how Lark felt about you. I trusted him. I’ve always trusted him. That’s why you seemed like the perfect man for this,” he pauses like he was second guessing himself. “Whatever is said right now is said in complete confidence. I need you to swear, on your oath to The League, that it never leaves this room.” His voice seems deeper, harsher with those last words. There’s something about this mission that’s personal to him.

“I swear,” I lift my right hand, “I won’t ever speak a word of it.” Harry nods and sits down on a stool behind him.

“This isn’t your typical mission… especially for someone with your lack of experience. Honestly I’d probably be better off assigning it to someone with a level twelve but there are aspects where you might excel.” He looks down, unable to maintain eye contact. That’s a first.

“Thanks,” I joke trying to lighten the mood. He gives me a half smile and looks back up at me.

“Maybe it’s selfish but that’s partly why I need it to be you. There’s a humor about you that I’m going to rely on.”

“This one is different for you.”

“I…” Harry pauses. “This is serious. Something happened a few years ago that changed the way we operate.” He shifts uncomfortably. “All you need to know right now is that we need a fresh face, someone who no one can associate with us. It’ll be beneficial and detrimental to you. If no one recognizes you as part of our organization you gain the upper hand, however your lack of experience puts you at a greater risk.”

“I knew all the risks when I joined,” I remind him. “Whatever you need me for, I accept.”

“You don’t even know what you’re agreeing to.”

“I don’t need to. If it’s a mission for the greater good of The League, I’m in.” I don’t know where this burst of courage came from. Maybe I felt bad for Harry. It was painfully obvious whatever he was trying to say hurt him more than he’d admit. I wonder if that’s what Liam and Louis were referring to. Whatever it was, I didn’t want him to have to go through explaining it when it was still raw to him. I guess it was my way of paying him back for the pizza and the rescue earlier.

“This isn’t a short mission. It could take years of undercover dedication.”

“I dedicated my life to The League.”

“There will be times where you’re flying blind out there.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” I nod. “Lark taught me how to handle it.”

“I’m sure he did,” Harry smiles fondly. It’s the first time I can actually tell he really had cared for Lark. “He told me after the first lesson you two had that you were right for this mission.”

“It’s a good thing we both trusted him then.”

“Sometimes though I have to wonder if he was right about you. You’re a good man Niall Horan, and good men don’t last long in this line of work.” Before he could say anything else, or before I could even reply, a buzzer goes off.

“Trad Gifton is here to see you,” the voice from earlier informs Harry. He stands, briskly walking over to the door, desperate to end our conversation. When he opens the door I can hear the alarm still blasting in the background. Trad busts in.

“I did it. I was able to trace the original attack on our systems by simulating another one,” he explains immediately. He walks over towards the counter, placing a laptop down. “It took a lot of hard work but I have proof for you. You were right in your suspicion. It was-“

“Niall,” Harry cuts Trad off mid sentence. “I think it’s best for you to go back to your quarters now. The drill will be ending which means the doors will be unlocked from here down.”

“Are you sure-“ I start to ask.

“You’re dismissed,” he coldly replies. Whatever honesty moment we were having is clearly over. I nod and walk back through the door, pausing at the other end. As I turn back around to ask how I’ll find my way back the door slams shut. Great. I’m stuck on the top floor, which happens to be a gigantic puzzle, and I’m pretty sure I just agreed to a suicide mission.

What could he have been talking about anyway? Why was it so personal for him? What was the original attack Trad was referring to? How did Harry know the person who caused it? And why did he say that I was a good man? Was he just hoping I wouldn’t last long? Was that some way to set me up to fail? I still couldn’t figure him out and it was starting to eat away at me. One minute he seems like a decent man and the next he’s cold and calculating. But the thing that annoyed me most of all was just how frustrated trying to figure him out made me. Why do I honestly care? He’s my boss. So what if he’s a son of a bitch with glimpses of remorse deeply hidden? At the end of the day all he is, all he’ll ever be, is the man who controls whether or not I live. If I let myself get more attached than that I’ll only end up dead.


	5. Curiosity Killed The Cat

The noise finally stops as I walk off the lift and onto my floor. I guess the security issues have finally been resolved. It’s funny how I barely even noticed the sound on my trip back down here. My mind must be too preoccupied with what just happened. I hear the click of all the Potential dorm rooms unlocking while I walk by them. There are so many unused rooms now. Places that hold the whispered secrets shared between Potentials and their mentors at the oddest of hours. I start to wonder what it must be like to be a mentor, being chosen to grow close to someone who will either disappear or kill you. The further I walk the more I think about each Potential that lived in these rooms, like this one. Room 105. It used to belong to Griffon. He was an interesting lad, always on about something that would make ya laugh. Probably the closest to a friend I had out of our group. Not that I would call him a friend, we never talked about anything. It was hard to get to know the other Potentials. You’re basically kept quarantined for the most part during that phase. It’s almost as if they purposely keep you apart. But on those rare occasions when our paths did cross I could tell that Griffon was the kind of person you would be able to rely on. He was a good man. I like to believe he still is. I don’t really know what happens when you fail out of being a potential. Rumor is that you’re terminated, and honestly I’ve always just assumed that was the only outcome, but I can’t see that happening. Not anymore. After the way Harry talked about the reason why he lives in this building, having the responsibility of keeping us all alive… could he really order a mass murder like that each year? For the last three years at least? I shudder to myself, shaking away that thought. I don’t think I want to know the answer to that to be honest. Ignorance is bliss.

As I get closer towards my room I start to wonder what happened to those who were former mentors. I usually try not to think of the Potentials or their mentors often but it’s surrounding me at the moment. Maybe it’s late guilt, am I capable of that? Am I still human? At least if the Potentials were all terminated they got off easy, but their mentors must be going mad. To train that long with someone, invest yourself in him or her and know that one of you will kill the other at some point is some serious psychological damage. I pray I never see the day that I’m assigned as a mentor. I think that would be the worst thing that could happen to someone honestly. There’s no coming back from that.

I can see my door is open. Was that part of the security breach ending? Did all the doors just open or was someone inside? I cautiously take the last few steps.

“So, what is it?” Louis asks the second I walk into my room.

“Why are you guys still here?” That probably comes out harsher than I meant it to but I’m too tired to care.

“We got locked in here,” Liam starts to explain. “Did you hear the security scare?” I just nod in reply. “We thought it might’ve been about you. With the high level up at the X Room and all. Thought maybe they were going to try to accuse you of being a traitor or some shit.” There’s a moment of silence as Liam pauses to change the tone of his words. “We would never believe that to be true though…” Sometimes I wonder if he gives me too much credit. He’s always been like that, all throughout my training. Any time him and Louis were involved it was almost like Liam had me on a pedestal. I think the worst thing about being accused of being a traitor by The League would be disappointing him. There’s just something about Liam that makes you want to be the best that you can be, even though he’d never actually tell you if you let him down. “Are you all right? Did something happen? Did they hurt you?” he asks pulling me back out of my mind. Any trace of annoyance at their presence washes away when I look at the concern in his eyes. Even Louis can’t hide it with every additional second that I remain silent. I try to picture what’s going on in their heads. Would I have had the some concern for them if the situation were reversed?

“I’m fine,” I finally say. I walk over to Lark’s old bed and sit down. I thought about sitting on my own but I didn’t want to be that close to them.

Louis kicks a football around a bit before speaking. “I think the horn was worse.” I look up at him slowly. “Seriously, they should look into making that the security system. Shit was fucking miserable. Think it damaged me eardrum a bit.”

“It would get the point across better than that wimpy alarm” Liam agrees, smiling. He looks back at me and frowns. “You sure you’re all right mate?” I just nod again. I’m not really in a talkative mood.

“You look like shit,” Louis says. “What happened up there?” He walks over closer and squats down in font of me so we’re eye to eye. “Did they hurt you?” The question comes as a shock to me. It seems so protective. I just keep looking at him. He must known what I’m thinking though because he continues, “Don’t look so confused. We’re family now Horan. Brothers. We look out for our own.”

“No matter what,” Liam adds with a softer smile than before. This entire exchange is starting to become too much for me. A week ago someone could’ve been ordered to kill me and they wouldn’t have had a care in the world. Why are they suddenly ready to be up in arms if the boss was a bit hard on me?

“The League is what matters,” I try to remind them.

“We are The League,” Louis argues.

“No one individual is The League,” I reply.

“The League is nothing without every individual,” Liam says.

“If I were to go rogue-”

“Fuck off with that shit” Louis interrupts me. Something changes in him as the conversation continues. “You go rogue and I’ll kill ya meself.” His eyes seem to get darker, his skin turning a little red. He looks almost like the way Harry had when he started to explain the special mission he has planned. I look over at Liam, showing the same hurt, but with a little more sadness than betrayal behind those eyes. Slowly I start to piece it together. They’re all 100% involved in whatever went wrong. “You don’t have the gall though. Too loyal,” Louis says forcing me to look back at him. “That’s what I like about you. From day one Lark said your loyalty was something fierce. I didn’t think you’d be able to do it. Off him like that.” He has this talent of always saying something offensive to change a subject. It’s like he knows how to stop you from thinking about whatever was going on before with one simple sentence.

“Louis,” Liam glares at him.

“Oh come on, we all did it,” he reminds him. “He’s not the only one who had to kill their mentor.”

“Do you mind? I’m feeling pretty rough again. Been a long day. I was gonna lie down for a bit.” I lean back a little, opening my mouth to fake a yawn that turns real. Why was Lark’s bed so comfortable? I might actually have to switch to this one. My back was starting to ache from my own. I think there where pins hidden deep inside my mattress somewhere.

“Are we keeping you from your beauty sleep?” Louis smiles. He picks up the football and throws it at me lightly. “Hope there’s no more alarms for you.” He walks to the door. “Jefferson, mate, wait up,” he calls into the hallway as he runs out.

“He means well,” Liam almost whispers. I don’t think he likes to talk bad about anyone. “What Lou said earlier… bout…” he gestures to the bed I’m on. “He didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” I nod. “And the other stuff, well it’s true. We’re all in this together.” Liam leans in and gives me a hug. “You can trust us. Just be careful. Whatever happened in your meeting…” he pulls back to look at me again but he didn’t need to say anything else. I felt it.

“I know. To all that.” I smile and he nods.

“Alright then. See ya tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” I say as he walks into the hallway. He smiles back and slides my door closed. Finally I got some peace and quiet. It was nice, being alone. Honestly it took too much energy to speak right about now. I feel drained. All this thinking, wondering, it’s driving me mad. They’re definitely all connected though, Liam, Harry and Louis. The more I get to know them the clearer that becomes. I wonder if that’s why they were the last Potentials before me to make it, if whatever happened to change Harry happened because of them. Or to them as well. It seems like I might be able to get it out of Louis if Liam isn’t around to shut him up. He seems eager to talk. Always ready to let that mouth get him into trouble.

 

I wake up covered in sweat at about one am. Nightmares. That’s something I haven’t experienced in ages. I sit up and look around; making sure it was all just a dream. I’m safe. I think. After a few stretches I swing my feet around, jumping out of bed. No sense in trying to get back to sleep, I’m wide-awake. I don’t know why but I start to instantly walk to my door, opening it. There was a rush that went through me, realizing I can leave my room at any time now. I never really tried it since gaining Entry Level. I wonder where else I can go.

I walk through the halls, taking in the way it all looks in the dark. It feels normal, seeing this place like this. There’s an eeriness to it that I can’t help but to think is fitting. I wonder if anyone else is awake in the compound. I’m sure it’s livelier in different wings on different floors. Suddenly I get the urge to try the lift. Out of curiosity I press my hand against the scanner. The laser runs up and down my body. “Niall Horan,” that voice calls out. I guess some people never get to sleep. Before I could even press the button the top floor lights up and the doors close… Did the lift just decide for me that I’m going back up there? Or is that the only inevitable outcome when you take to the scanner? I try to remember the few things I’ve been told about the X Room protocol. Wasn’t the security clearance list updated every half hour or so? Why am I still on it?

The lift comes to a stop abruptly. “Niall Horan, prepare to enter the X Room.” I stare out the open doors.

“Niall,” Harry nods. “You know, curiosity killed the cat.” I don’t know if he’s telling a joke or warning me. I can never tell with his dry sense of humor.

“Satisfaction brought him back,” I shrug. Harry laughs.

“So it did. I had a feeling you’d end up here again.”

“Is that why I was still on the list to get up here?”

“You shouldn’t have been. It must’ve been a mistake,” Harry turns around and starts walking. I don’t know if I’m supposed to follow him or go back down so I do the dumbest thing I can think of and go after him.

“You don’t make mistakes,” I remind him.

“I did once in my life,” he looks dead ahead, focused on the wall at the other end of the ridiculously large room.

“What happened from it?”

“The League was almost completely wiped out,” the sound of his voice was unfamiliar. He even choked a little at the end of that sentence, unable to say it in his usual monotone way.

“Is that why you stopped letting Potentials become members?”

“You really are that cat they talk about.”

“We’re all going to die for something one day. Might as well say what you want to while you can,” I point out. Harry half smiles, nodding along.

“I guess that’s true.” He places his hand on the wall and watches as it lights up.

“Welcome back, Harry Styles.” The wall instantly separates and the voice continues, “Please enter when ready.” Unbelievable. His voice is so sweet and caring. I don’t understand.

“Do you plan that?”

“Plan what?” He asks as he walks through the door.

“How people are met when they scan or enter places.” I can tell by the look on his face that he didn’t understand. “When I do it I get yelled at. It’s a loud, condescending voice saying my name and demanding I do things. Where as you have a soft spoken, kind hearted one asking with some manners.” He laughs.

“When you’re here as long as I’ve been they realize there’s no need to be rude.”

“How long has that been exactly?” I look around the room we’re now in. It seems a lot bigger than earlier. It’s got proper lighting too. There’s nothing spectacular about it though. Before Harry can answer my last question, which I didn’t think he would anyway, I ask another. “Why is this the X Room?”

“What do you mean?”

“It looks like any old briefing room, only twice the size,” I point out.

“That’s because it is,” he laughs. “The only difference is the security clearance. This isn’t exactly the X Room but it’s about the same thing. Anything said up here is under strict confidence, therefore, we take extra precautions.”

“So why do you call it the X Room?”

“It sounds scarier. Makes everyone else curious. Keeps them guessing,” he smiles. I can’t help but break out into laughter.

“You just name it that to freak people out?”

“It works, doesn’t it?”

“You’re mad,” I shake my head.

“What fun is being the boss if you can’t instill fear into people?” He walks through a door and I keep following him. I wonder if this is the way we went earlier. Everything looks so different I can’t keep track.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere with food. I know you’re probably starved.”

“You know me so well. I guess that file was pretty useful after all,” I joke.

“It’s my job to know you.”

“Whose job is it to know you?” I wonder if anyone actually knows him. He stops walking and looks at me.

“That job’s been vacant for a few years now.” His voice is back to that weirdness before. He enters a few buttons on the keypad ahead of us.

“Welcome Harry Styles. Please enter.” We walk through another door and he plays with the last keypad. Finally we walk inside to his home. Here I can see in the light the pain that he spends all day hiding.

“It’s all connected isn’t it? My mission, the security breech, why Louis and Liam were the last Potentials before me.” I watch Harry walk into the kitchen. He pulls out two beers and some take away cartons.

“You like Chinese right?” He places his leftovers on the counter and nods to the stool across from him. I walk over, grabbing the beer he offers me. After a moment I pause to look around again.

“How did we get here?” I think my question takes him by surprise. He tilts his head, squinting at me. “Did we take the same route as earlier?”

“Course. There’s only one way to get to my place.”

“What the hell did we jump over then?” I take a sip of my drink and watch him burst into laughter. I swear he just continues to laugh for a solid ten minutes. “Seriously mate, what was it? I thought I was going to fall to an early grave.”

“That’s classified,” he says still laughing.

“Oh don’t pull that shit! Come on! What was it? Why didn’t we have to jump over anything this time?”

“You really wanna know?”

“I really wanna know.”

“Nothing,” he laughs again, hitting his knee.

“Nothing? What the hell do ya mean nothing?”

“I was just messing with you. I wanted to see if you’d do it,” he looks over at me with a child like expression. I’ve never seen him like this before. He seems relaxed, carefree, fun even. This was a guy I could see myself getting on with pretty well.

“You’re a real son of a bitch, you know that?” I laugh back. “Bloody hell, I thought we were about to fall forty feet to our deaths!”

“Did you really? It didn’t show. Sometimes I think your nerves are stone,” he replies.

“I could say the same about you.” I watch as his smile starts to slowly disappear.

“I guess we have more in common than I thought.”

“What else do we have in common?” I look at him, desperate to know all of a sudden.

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on, you know basically everything about me and all I know about you is that you like to watch us all piss ourselves in fear while you sit up here laughing at it”

“What more do you need to know?” he smirks.

“I’m never taking you seriously again. From now on there’s not a single thing you can say or do that’ll make me fear you.”

“Challenge accepted,” he laughs. This side of him was refreshing. I guess even Harry Styles is human after all. Give him some food, drinks, and a laid back setting and you’ll find out he’s not such a cold hearted prick after all. He’s just a misunderstood lad who likes to play a few jokes, with a mysterious past. Kind of like every other sorry sap in this organization. We’re all running from something, hurt by it. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for us to band together.

Does Harry know what forced me to seek out The League? Is that something we had in common? I need to know what else he thinks we share. What similarities he’s hiding. I’m pretty sure this is the start to a beautiful friendship. Too bad we’ll never be able to speak of this night again. Harry has a reputation to maintain after all. And he is my boss. In another life I’m sure we’d be the best of friends. I’ve never seen anyone listen so intently or heard anyone laugh at my jokes the way he does. Like each one is the most important thing he’s ever heard. Not to mention the way he talks, the ridiculous stories he tells in the worst ways. It’s somewhat endearing. If he weren’t the head of The League he’d probably be the most loved man in the world. There’s something about him that makes you want to learn all you can. He gives you a little and you’re instantly hooked. I’m so fucking screwed. All I want to do is find out who or what hurt him and avenge him for it. Whatever this secret mission he has planned for me is, I won’t rest until I succeed. Even if it kills me, I’ll get Harry the closure that he needs. He deserves that much.


	6. Moving On Up

I wake up as a football hits me in the head. “How are you still asleep? This just seems unnatural,” Louis complains.

“Why are you always waking me up?” I open my eyes slowly and look at them. Them being Louis and Liam of course. They should just become one person. I start to think back to every single time I saw them in training to remember if they’ve ever been apart. I wonder how they survived their lives before meeting.

“Just wanted to make sure you were still living is all. You look like you haven’t moved since we left ya yesterday,” Louis pretends to look all innocent. I roll my eyes and sit up slowly… wait, did I move since then? I look around to realize I’m still in Lark’s bed. Did I just dream up seeing Harry?

“You okay?” Liam takes a step closer, reading the confusion on my face.

“Yeah…” I hesitate for a moment before continuing. “I just realize how hungry I am is all.” My eyes scan the room again. Nothing seems different.

“Good, get dressed and lets go,” Louis answers. I’ve noticed he always likes to be the one in charge. I’d hate to see him and Harry interact. There’s no way Louis can bite his tongue long enough to stay out of trouble.

“What’s for breakfast today?” I ask trying to keep my mind off of last night.

“No clue,” Louis shrugs.

“Smelled good on the way here though,” Liam smiles. I smile back, wondering if anyone has been able to resist that. It’s like a kneejerk reaction.

“Niall Horan, report to room 158.” I turn towards the speakers. What now? “Niall Horan, report to room 158.”

“Guess you’re gonna have to starve,” Louis laughs.

“What’s room 158?” I ask, ignoring him.

“Room Assignment. Looks like you’re moving on up,” Liam answers.

“It’s a bit early for that, isn’t it?” Louis turns to Liam.

“I guess Horan has some friends in high places,” Liam replies.

“How long does it usually take to move out of the Potential wing?” I ask.

“Few months. Till they’re sure,” Liam nods.

“Sure of what?”

“That you’re good enough for a level one.”

“Right and that was my stomach budding into the conversation so Payno, lets go already. Newbie should’ve been there by now anyway,” Louis smirks.

“Shit.” I run out of my room and towards my new destination. Room Assignment. That has to be a mistake. I haven’t been an actual member of the league for even one month let alone a few. Why would they change how they operate for me? I turn the corner and run into the room, a little out of breath. Why was I so out of shape? You’d think I’d be better at that considering the situations I’ll be putting myself in. Maybe I can get Liam to help me workout. He seems like he knows what he’s doing in that department.

“Niall,” Harry nods to me. He gives out the room assignments? That seems pretty beneath him. “Do you know why you’re here?” I watch as he avoids making eye contact.

“No,” I honestly reply. Just because this is the Room Assignment room doesn’t mean I’m moving on up. Maybe I’m being demoted. Did they have an area with less freedom than the Potential’s rooming? I bet they do. Somewhere with no freedoms at all… Wait, that’s it isn’t it? Last night did happen and this is my punishment. Fuck. Fucking hell. Why do I have to be so stupid sometimes?

“You’re here because we’re moving you.” Harry still won’t look at me. I start to wonder if he’s ever actually had a non-work related conversation with anyone else before. It’s almost as if he doesn’t know how to act around me now. Things are different between us and we can both feel it.

“This soon?” I think my questioning him took Harry by surprise. He looks up, furrowing his eyebrows and stares at me. Should I apologize? I should apologize.

“Do you not want to move?” He seems sincere, almost as if he’s worried I actually object to it. Like he’d really allow me to stay in the Potential’s wing if I wanted.

“No. Yes. I mean no I don’t not want to move… Yes I want to move.”

“Okay then,” he laughs at me.

“Where am I moving to?”

“Room 523.”

“The fifth floor?” My eyes widen. Harry just nods. “But I don’t understand. Don’t floors signify clearance levels?”

“They do.”

“How can I live on the fifth floor then?”

“You’re smarter than that.” Harry just looks at me, watching as I pretend to not understand. I think I liked him avoiding eye contact better. This was weird… but for some reason it made me wanna continue the conversation, and the only way I saw that being possible was if I kept asking questions… is that why I’m so curious around Harry? Because I want our interactions to last longer? I don’t think I want to know the answer to that to be honest.

“Has anyone ever jumped five levels of clearance at once?” In all fairness that was an authentic question. It seems impossible to do. Being cleared for a higher level is supposed to take months, years even. There are all different security measures that need to be taken. The League normally proceeds with caution. Extreme caution.

“Once,” Harry nods. I stare at him waiting for him to continue but he doesn’t.

“Well?”

“Well what?” He smiles, knowing I want to hear what happened. The details. Who, what, where, when, why and how.

“You’re smarter than that,” I mimic him from earlier and he laughs.

“I was the only other person to ever jump over levels of security. For similar reasons actually.”

“And what are those reasons?”

“You’re needed. In order to prep you for your mission you need a higher level of clearance. It’s sort of a riddle. How can you do your mission if you’re not a higher level, when in order to become a higher level you need to complete your mission? It’s like the chicken and the egg. Which came first?”

“That’s easy, the chicken ‘course,” I shrug like it’s so simple.

“But how are chickens born?” Harry sounds like a parent trying to coach me through my ABC’s or something.

“They’re hatched.”

“From?”

“An egg…”

“Exactly,” he smiles.

“But in order to hatch an egg a chicken has to be alive. So the egg couldn’t have come first,” I argue. Come on. It’s logical. The chicken always came first.

“But in order for the chicken to be alive it had to have come from an egg.”

“Or evolution. It was something else and evolved into a chicken,” I smirk and Harry starts to laugh. Probably at how serious we’re taking this conversation. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s pretty ridiculous, two adults arguing about a stupid riddle. I feel like we’re really five year olds on a playground during recess or something.

“Not a bad answer,” Harry finally says.

“Wait, did you just compliment me?” I act all shocked, mouth open.

“I don’t recall…” he smiles. “You’re going to have till the end of the week to move.”

“That’s fine. I don’t have much stuff. Just clothes.”

“Normally there’s a lot of briefings and evaluations before your level of clearance is changed but under these circumstances I’m in charge of you. I’ve taken full responsibility for your actions.” I start to see the serious side to Harry take over. He looks me right in the eyes, holding steady. “This isn’t something to take lightly. I’m vouching for you. Against the entire League.” The weight of his words hit me, knocking the wind out a little bit. I open my mouth, taking in a deep breath. “I’m responsible for you. If you mess up or betray us-”

“I won’t,” I interrupt him. I didn’t want him to finish that sentence without knowing that I would never do that to him.

“Fair enough,” he nods, turning his back to me. “I’d tell Liam and Louis if I were you. Right away. They’ll help you move.”

“You think so? I reckon Liam will help, Louis will just go through my things and complain the whole time.” Harry laughs. I wish he were facing me still. I like watching how he laughs. I’ve noticed there’s three different ways he goes about it. In the first one he’ll try to hide it, the corners of his mouth jerk up for a split second and there’s a rush of air coming out of his mouth disguised by a cough. The second one he’ll smirk, like he wants to comment more on it or he agrees with whatever was said, even if he can’t say so. The third laugh though might just be my favorite. His eyes almost dance with pure bliss while he allows himself a moment to be lost in the happiness. I don’t think he does that often.

“You’re probably right,” Harry nods. “But Liam will do the work for two so it’ll be like they’re both helping.”

“Touché.”

“You hang out with them a lot, don’t you?” Harry turns back around to me. I try to read the expression on his face but I can’t figure it out. It was almost as if I could sense a hint of concern behind that question.

“Guess so,” I shrug. “Louis likes annoying me. Pain in my arse is what he is.” Harry nods like he understands.

“Just… watch yourself.” He heads back towards the door.

“Wait, what?” I follow him. I think I’m becoming too comfortable with that. “What do you mean?”

“This job makes it difficult to have any kind of relationship with people. I’d hate to see your missions or yourself be compromised because of them.”

“How?”

“When you care about people your judgment might be clouded. They can talk you out of things or even change your mind about missions…”

“They wouldn’t do that to me. They’re good people,” I start to defend them.

“I didn’t say they weren’t. All I said was to be careful. They’re looking to clear their conscious with you.”

“For what?”

“Ask them,” Harry stops walking, looking at me full on. It’s intimidating seeing him this close. He even takes a step closer, straightening his posture so that he’s as tall as he can be. He looks down at me, eyebrows pressed together. “You still have a lot to learn and an eagerness to find it all out. If you want to make it far in life, don’t forget to always look for the whole truth. You’re going to be piecing together stories and information for the rest of your days here. Learn to trust your instincts. They haven’t led you astray so far.”

“What does that have to do with Liam and Louis?” I wasn’t sure where he was going with that. Was he telling me not to trust them? “Are you saying to stay away from them?”

“Just the opposite. But don’t let your feelings for them get you killed. Or worse.” He turns back around and starts walking. I go to take a step after him. “Don’t,” he shakes his head. I stop and watch him walk away, trying to understand what just happened. It was almost like he was talking in code. What could be worse than getting myself killed? Why is he saying he doesn’t want me to stay away from them but he wants me to be careful? Is this another riddle? I slowly walk back towards my room. I won’t doubt Liam or Louis. They’ve been loyal to me. Great friends. Protective… wait. They’ve been trying to protect me from Harry this whole time and now he’s trying to what, protect me from them? I need to figure out what went on here before this madness rips me apart. The only people I actually get on with here are telling me not to trust the others.

 

“Niall, mate,” Liam walks up to me in the hall on my way back to my room. “What the hell happened? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“Did you get bad news?” Louis takes a step closer. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Weren’t you just sent to room assignment? Did Deadra do a number on you in there? She’s a feisty little one isn’t she?”

“Who?” I look at him, not following any of that.

“Deadra wasn’t there?” Liam asks.

“I don’t even know who you’re talking about…”

“Who gave you your room assignment?” Liam tilts his head, trying to figure it out so I didn’t have to.

“What the hell did they do to you in there?” Louis takes another step closer. He leans in, looking right into my eyes. “Did they put you on something?”

“No,” I push him back a little. “Haven’t you ever heard of personal space?”

“Come here,” Liam says, leading Louis and me by the shoulders.

“What the hell Liam?” Louis starts protesting, which only makes Liam manhandle us more. Is he really the Hulk or something? How can he basically maneuver the two of us with one arm, while using the other to enter a code into a room nearby? The door opens and he pushes us inside. “Really?” Louis glares at him. If looks could kill I’m pretty sure he’d be as deadly as Liam is with his bare hands.

“Really,” Liam replies, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Where are we?” I look around the room for a clue. It seems like this room has been vacant for years. There’s dirt and dust all over, with just some writings and drawings on the further wall. Other than that it’s completely empty. I look into the corner where the cameras normally are but the one up there appears to be broken, pointing straight to the floor. “What is this place?”

“Nothing,” Louis makes for the door but Liam stops him.

“This is the only place we can talk without being heard.” Liam’s face softens, almost pleading with Louis. Louis rolls his eyes. “Thank you,” Liam says, taking it as a sign of victory.

“Three minutes. That’s all,” Louis warns. Liam nods his head and turns back to me.

“What happened back at room assignment?” I think about what he just said to Louis about this being the only place we can talk without being heard. It’s time I get some answers to all of the questions on my mind.

“Is that true?” I ask. Liam stares at me. “The part about not being heard in here? Are there no cameras?”

“Haven’t been for three years,” Louis answers. He walks around looking at the walls. This room has a different meaning for him. He’s clearly itching to get out of here. I watch as he stares at the drawings, the writings, all of it. The memories seem to be too overwhelming for him because he turns and takes off for the door again.

“Louis,” Liam stops him. “This is for Niall.” His tone changes to an authoritative one that I’ve never heard him use before. Louis just stares at him. They exchange a few different looks, almost having a conversation without a single word being used. Finally Louis turns to me.

“Who did you see and what the fuck did they do to you?” He seems annoyed but concerned. I think that’s the only thing keeping him in here.

“Think we need to go back even further,” Liam walks over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “What happened in the X Room?” Was this a test? Are they trying to get me to talk about private encounters I’ve had with Harry to see if I can be trusted? Or are they generally looking out for me? I keep hearing Harry warning me, even though I’m not sure what it was about. “We just want to make sure you’re safe,” Liam’s voice sounds so pure. It’s impossible to ever question his motives. Why would Harry try get in my head like that? Maybe he just wants to isolate me to make it easier for him to manipulate me. Whatever that move was, it won’t work.

“What happened three years ago?” I ask. Liam looks down. Louis laughs.

“Sneaky little thing innit?” Louis hits Liam’s arm. “He’s good.”

“If Harry isn’t listening in, there’s nothing stopping you from telling me,” I point out. “You want me to talk about things than we need to have open communication. It’s a two way street. What happened to all that talk about us being brothers now?”

“He’s got a point,” Louis challenges Liam.

“We just want to protect you. It’s different.” Liam says, ignoring Louis.

“Why does everyone wanna protect me? I’m a grown man. I can take care of meself. I don’t need anyone looking out for me.” I don’t know where all this rage is coming from but I guess it’s been building up.

“Okay, you’re right.” Liam nods. “Sit, please. We’ll tell you everything.” Liam sits on the floor and Louis does the same. I sit across from them, waiting for it all to finally make some sense.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Liam says. I can tell he’s trying to figure out the smartest way to describe whatever happened, almost as if he was willing to detach himself from it so that I only heard the facts.

“I do,” Louis turns to me. “This room here, used to belong to someone a few years back.”

“What happened to them?”

“They’re dead now. Not worth it. Piece of scum is what they were.” I could feel the rage building up with each word Louis spoke.

“Lou, stop.” Liam turns to him. “That’s not true.”

“To hell with this,” Louis stands up and goes straight to the door. “It’s stupid. What good is sitting in here going on and on about how one fucked up asshole almost took us down from the inside out going to do? It’s done with. We’ve moved on. He failed. Let it be.” He opens the door and walks out, leaving Liam and me just sitting on the floor.

“I should’ve saw that coming,” Liam stands up. “I need to make sure he’s all right. I’m sorry.” He walks out after Louis. Great. We were so fucking close.

I stand up and walk around the room, hoping there’s something left behind that can fill in some blanks. I don’t know why but I start taking the room apart, feeling for loose wall panels or floorboards. There has to be something in here to tell me a little bit about this person. If this was their room they had some sort of keepsake that they weren’t allowed. We all do it. Mine is in the air vent, a picture of me mum and me. A little reminder of why the world needs to be a better place. People like her deserve nothing but the best.

I walk over to the vent and play around with the screws. Bingo. I slide my hand in and pull out a picture. Louis, Liam, Harry and someone else are standing in a familiar room, laughing. Where is that? Is that Harry’s office? I recognize the candles. Why are they all laughing? I didn’t even think they ever really interacted before. I look at the picture, scanning every inch of Harry. He looks so different. Relaxed. Almost like how he was the other night in his living quarters. It’s weird seeing this. They all look genuinely happy. I wonder what could’ve happened to cause things to end so badly. All I’ve gotten out of Louis is that whoever this person is, he’s no longer around. It seems like he was a traitor, maybe a double agent. No wonder Liam, Louis and Harry all seem hurt by this fiasco. It involved them. They were a part of it. It was their friend. Harry actually had friends? This is too much to take in. I fold the picture and put it in my pocket. No sense in putting it back for someone else to find, it would only make things worse.

 

 


	7. Zayn

I spend the next morning in my room, just staring at Lark’s side. Suddenly it hits me that he won’t have a space in my new room. It’s going to be weird moving to a place that he’s never been a part of. I feel like with this room change I’m essentially leaving him behind as well. Maybe that’s part of the purpose of it. I know what I’ve done. It’s time to stop thinking about the past.

Speaking of the past I can’t stop thinking about Harry’s. I guess I’m not taking my own advice on that one but it’s not my fault. There’s something more to the story there. I pull the picture out from my desk and trace it with my fingertips. Who is this mystery man? He’s quite fit, I must admit. His brown eyes are almost sparkling in the light under the longest eyelashes I have ever seen. I tear my eyes away from his image to look back at Harry. Was he still the boss here? Why was he hanging out with low levels? If this were taken three years ago they just would’ve been fresh into The League. I thought Harry doesn’t interact with anyone that low? Then again he does interact a lot with me…

I take in every inch of Harry’s image with my eyes over and over again. It’s a damn good picture of everyone to be fair. They all just seem so different here. Whoever he was, he seemed good for them. I guess. Can you assume something like that from an image? I know a picture is worth a thousand words but what went on after this was taken?

“Niall? Are you here?” I hear Liam ask as he knocks on my door. I shove the picture in my back pocket and stumble over. The last thing I need is for Louis to come barging in here with him and find out I have this.

“Yeah,” I slide the door open and stare at him… Wait, it’s just him. Where’s Louis? Did something happen?

“Are you all right?”

“I’m good. You?”

“Yeah. Free?” He tilts his head to the side, looking around me. He’s probably trying to figure out if he interrupted anything.

“I am…” I look at Liam, waiting for an explanation.

“Good, come on then.” He turns around and starts walking, not even waiting for me. I guess we’re going somewhere.

“What’s going on mate? Is Louis okay?” I start to wonder if I’m going to walk in on Louis bleeding out on the floor or something. Liam just laughs.

“Yeah. Why?” Is he serious? Doesn’t he know they’re attached at the hip?

“Cause you’re just always together is all…”

“We’re not always together,” Liam laughs some more. I don’t even have the heart to argue with him so I just follow him outside. He takes me to a car and opens the door for me. I hesitate, wondering where we’re going but something tells me that I don’t need to question Liam’s movements. I get in and he closes the door, walking around to the other side, jumping in quickly. “About yesterday…” he begins.

“If you don’t want to talk about it,” I start to protest. I don’t know why I do. I’ve been waiting for an explanation since I got here. Liam just smiles, nodding.

“It’s hard but it’s not impossible. I think it’s harder on Louis to be honest.”

“They were close?”

“Closer than that.”

“What happened?”

“He thought he was doing the right thing. People got into his head and groomed him to believe The League was the enemy. Still to this day he’d swear it to be true.” Liam looks down, nodding at the floor of the car. He kicks the mat up. “What you need to understand is that no matter how much we all blame ourselves or him, we all did what we thought was right. Zayn needed to do what he believed was best. I can’t fault him for that. No one can.”

“Zayn?” He must be the mystery man in the picture. It was nice finally being able to put a name to the face.

“He’s a good man. Honest, loyal, despite what others might tell you. I want you to know the whole truth before you make up your mind. A lot of people here tend to forget the good and only focus on the bad. It’s easier to hate someone for betraying you than it is to understand why they did what they did.” There Liam goes again, being all reasonable. It’s funny, I thought he didn’t want to open up about what happened but I think he was just trying to shield Louis from it. His warnings weren’t to stop me from finding out, they were meant to protect Louis from opening old wounds. Wounds that still haven’t fully healed for him, at least not properly. It was clear that he still holds a grudge when we were in Zayn’s old room yesterday.

“I want to know. Tell me everything, please.” I nod; ready to absorb whatever information he’s willing to share.

“It all started about three years ago. The incoming Potentials class was the smallest it had ever been. No one knows why but people just weren’t making the cut. All of our missions were being botched. People were failing like crazy. It was mad. We still don’t know what was going on. Only Louis, Zayn and myself were accepted into The League that year. We were all close, from the start. Any chance we had we were together. I think Harry saw that chemistry between us and helped push us together even more. We had a bunch of joint tasks throughout out time, which are just unheard of now.” My eyes widen, imagining what that must have been like. I never worked with another Potential. I couldn’t picture being able to grow that close to someone. There were so many times I wished I could’ve to be honest. Don’t get me wrong; Lark was a saint for me through it all. I could talk to him about anything, and I knew that he had been through it all before once too, but I wished I could’ve spoken to another Potential. Going through it all together clearly creates a bond like no other. Just look and Liam and Louis. No wonder they’re so close.

“Zayn, he was different than the rest of the members,” Liam starts again. “Actually you remind me of him a bit.” He forms a small, fond, smile. I like to think that’s a compliment but I don’t know yet.

“How so?”

“You both appreciate your alone time but you also enjoy the company of a select few. You’re strong willed. You can sleep forever,” he laughs. “But the most important one,” he pauses for a moment. “You’re both loyal.”

“But how can he be loyal if he betrayed The League?” I didn’t want to automatically see this new guy as a traitor like everyone else does but I didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t making sense to me. I watch as Liam’s jaw clenches. I think I actually offended him.

“If I’m going to tell you everything you need to promise me that you won’t make any assumptions about Zayn or what happened until I’m finished.” I could hear him fighting off the anger with each word. It’s obvious that he still cares about Zayn, enough to protect his reputation despite what’s happened. I start to wonder if everything has just been blown out of proportion. Could there be another side to it?

“I’m sorry,” I say, instantly regretting upsetting Liam. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world, knowing I hurt him. I promise myself that I’ll never do it again, no matter what happens.

“There was something about us all together that felt natural,” Liam starts to explain again. “Zayn actually knew Harry from way back when they were younger. They were friends before they even knew what The League was.” Now I understand why Harry is so tortured by this. Why he wanted to warn me about my friendship with Louis and Liam clouding my judgment. Because that’s what he thinks happened with him and Zayn. “The night we were being initiated in the compound we realized that despite what we knew of Harry, there was another side to him. You have to understand back then he wasn’t as harsh as he is now. He was able to be a little more open and joke around with us. The four of us got on like you wouldn’t believe. It threatened the way everyone viewed Harry though. Think maybe that’s why he’s been even tougher on you with those stunts with the horn and all. Trying to remind everyone he’s the boss and they shouldn’t test him.”

“So what happened?” I know he’s getting to all of that but there’s something eating away at me. The slower Liam drags this out the more I realize how badly Harry got hurt.

“Harry caught Zayn up on the top floor one day, somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be. I don’t the particulars about that, suppose I never will. The only people who know what happened that day are Zayn and Harry. You’d have to ask one of them, though I believe they’ll both take it to their graves.”

“Is he still alive?” I think back to how Louis talked about him being dead, yet every time Liam mentions him he sounded as if he’s still very much alive.

“Dunno for sure. I like to believe so. Things got pretty ugly though. Turns out he was working for The Knights the entire time. They used Zayn to infiltrate The League because of his history with Harry…” Liam’s voice cracks and he pauses to steady his breathing. The Knights are our archenemy. I don’t know much on them yet, still only being an entry level, at least I think I’m still only an entry level… I don’t know when I officially become a fiver. The point is, at the moment all I know about The Knights is that they’re ruthless. They claim to be the good guys but they like to bend the rules to get things done. They don’t mind roughing up some of the good to get rid of all of the bad. Think of a total police state. You can argue that’s what The League is but that’s only how they treat us, we would never use any of those tactics on a civilian. The Knights would. They’d hold, stop, and dehumanize anyone they deemed fit, with no reasoning at all. I don’t understand how someone can believe they’re doing right by supporting that lot. “I know what you’re thinking,” Liam finally says, pulling me back from my mind.

“What?”

“You wonder how I can defend someone belonging to The Knights, but you didn’t know Zayn. He wouldn’t do something that he didn’t believe was right… He talked to me about them once you know? I’ve never admitted that to anyone before because it could probably get me killed, but he seemed to believe they were the good guys. He said everything we’re taught about them is a lie and that they’re taught the same about us. Really it’s just two organizations going head to head to be the only one left. Why couldn’t we coexist? Help one another even?” I think he was talking more to himself than me. I just sit there waiting for him to continue again. “I like to believe he regrets how it went down. He may not regret his choice but I know he didn’t mean to hurt any of us. Not like that. We were a family. I just wish he could’ve come to us, trusted us enough to explain what was going on. Harry would’ve understood… I would’ve understood. I never would’ve turned my back on him.” I could feel how deeply Liam cares for Zayn. I don’t know if I ever cared about anyone that much in my life before. I take the brief moment of silence to imagine what I’d do in his situation. If someone came up to me and told me they were sent to infiltrate The League, gain our trust and snuff us out, what would I do? I pictured Louis being the one to come to me first. Would I protect him? Would I hear him out? I don’t know to be honest. I think my loyalty would still be to The League ultimately. Then I try to imagine Liam coming to me. Those sad eyes of his looking at me with hope that I’ll hear him out. I think I’d listen to him. Take everything he had to say into consideration but… if it was him vs me… would I take the risk and die with him? I like to believe I would because he’s just so pure. There’s no way he’d maliciously try to take The League down on his own. He’d be doing it for a cause. Maybe that’s how he feels about Zayn. Then I picture Harry being the one in trouble. I shutter at the realization that I’ve already promised to die for him. Maybe Liam’s feelings are more relatable than I thought.

“How did he almost end The League though?” I needed more information before I could place myself in his shoes. I wanted more.

“His Intel… what he was passing on… it involved giving away secrets of the compound; our location, access to it, where the security rooms were located. We had a few attacks right after everything went down. Bout a week after Harry caught Zayn we had some unwanted visitors come armed… There were some close calls. Thank god there was a new security measure no one knew about. Lark actually set it up you know? It was some secret fail-safe hidden into the overdrive of the compound. Even Harry wasn’t aware of the details of it. He wasn’t around as much as he is now. Actually Lark was basically in charge in his absence.” Liam smiles at me, softening the expressions on his face whenever he mentions Lark’s name. It’s weird for me to take that part in. I never knew the power Lark had here. Why people seemed to respect him so much. He was the number two. That’s why Harry trusted him so deeply. He saved his ass.

“We were under some heavy fire one day, an all out war and it just kicked in.” Liam started back up. I think he took a pause so that I could absorb the new information regarding Lark. I look back at him as he continues; “there were a lot of casualties that night. Good agents lost to the madness. It should’ve been more. It would’ve been more if it weren’t for this system. It was insane. Somehow it knew whom to target and went after all the Knights. The power was too much for it though because it blew out right after. No one could get it to work again,” Liam shrugs. “After that Harry stopped showing up unless it was business related. He started cracking down hard on the rules, the new Potentials, everything. No one was good enough… until you showed up.” Liam smiles at me again. I can tell he’s about to start gushing about me like he did about Zayn now. “You’re the one whose going to save us all I believe.” The weight of those words hits me harder than gravity. Suddenly I can’t move. Liam doesn’t say anything else so we just sit in silence, trying to restore some normalcy to ourselves. I watch as he closes his eyes, humming softly. I bite my nails, going over his words in my mind again. How am I going to be the one to save them all? Save them from what? How?

 

After about 20 minutes of silence Liam faces me as he finally speaks again. “You think he’s just a traitor, don’t you?” I avoid eye contact, trying to choose my words carefully.

“I don’t know him, like you said. I can’t judge his motives.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“That’s the only one I’ve got,” I shrug. Liam nods, turning back to the window. “I understand how you feel though.”

“You do?”

“He was important to you. I don’t blame you for still caring about him. I get it. When someone comes into your life like that it changes everything. You might not understand it or even be able to explain it but you care about them. More than you ever thought possible. You’d do anything for them.”

“I wouldn’t have betrayed The League-” Liam starts to say.

“I know. That’s not what I’m getting at,” I smile the same way he did earlier. “I’m saying I understand wanting to protect him, protect who he was to you. I even understand why you didn’t say anything or turn on him when he talked to you about the Knights. Hell, I even get what you mean by you wished he could’ve came to you and told you everything before acting on it because you would’ve helped him.”

“You do?” Liam looks at me, eyes wide. I think it’s the first time someone didn’t just jump on him for how he feels. I imagine anytime he’s tried to talk about Zayn since then it’s been met with shouting and some roughhousing. It’s not like Louis would welcome the conversation.

“If you ever need to talk about it, or him, I’ll listen. I won’t judge and I won’t tell you how you feel is wrong.”

“You feel it too.”

“What?”

“Harry’s been around a lot more since you’ve come here.” It’s just a factual statement but I know he’s trying to get at something.

“Can’t say. Dunno how he was before,” I shrug.

“If you ever need to talk about anything too-”

“I know” I cut him off. I hate getting into all that mushy crap. It’s just too much feeling for me. The whole point of The League was supposed to be emotional detachment.

“I’d never judge you, for anything. You can trust me.”

“I don’t think anyone could every doubt that,” I smile. “You know, someone once told me that good men don’t last long in The League but you’re honestly the best man I know and I’m sure a bunch of us would follow you to the end.”

“Me?” Liam laughs, his eyes squinting as he beams with pride. “I don’t think that’s accurate mate, but thanks.”

“If I was in your situation and you were Zayn… I’d want you to come to me first,” I say realizing now that was 100% true. I would die for Liam. I would die for Harry. Hell I’d even die for Louis, despite wanting to fight him every now and then. These three guys are really all I have in my life. I start to think about how Zayn must have felt. Am I just taking his place? Am I filling a void in each of their lives now?

“We should probably head back inside.” Liam says. He opens the door and jumps out. I shake away the thought that I’m just a replacement.

“Wait, whose car is this anyway?” I say as I get out on my side. Liam laughs.

“Mine.”

“What? How do you have your own car?”

“You’re not the only one with friends in high places,” he winks. Did he mean Harry? Are they still friends? Do they still talk? Is that how he knew Harry and I have interacted more than we’ve let on? But then why would they both be warning me to watch out for the other one? God all of these questions. You know that would be an amazing drinking game. Every time one of these guys manage to get me to ask a question I’ll never know the answer to I should take a shot. Pretty sure I’d exist in a constant state of intoxication.

We walk back inside in silence, still both probably thinking about everything we just talked about. Well I definitely am, I can’t speak for Liam though. I wonder if it was harder on him than he let on, though he seems pretty wrecked from it to begin with. He’s carrying all this guilt for someone he still cares about and no one will let him release it. It’s almost like my room now. Lark’s side. Being locked in there I’m forced to face what I did, what happened, the situation that was thrust on us. But I can move on. I can release that with the change of rooms. Liam has no outlet for his guilt. Maybe I can be that for him. I can listen to stories about Zayn, who he was and what they did together. I don’t have to judge him. I don’t need an opinion on him. He’s not in my life. Whatever happened doesn’t change what’s going on now. It’s over. Let me at least ease some of Liam’s pain.

“There you are. Bloody hell guys, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Louis shouts down the hall. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” I call back. I didn’t want Liam to have to come up with a cover for what we were doing. I don’t know if he’d be able to lie to Louis.

“Where were you?” Louis cocks his head to the side, narrowing his eyes on us.

“I was begging Liam to help me move today. Tired of my dodgy room. Figured I might as well make the switch. You’re in luck too. He volunteered you as well,” I smirk.

“Leave it out,” Louis rolls his eyes at us. “I didn’t even move me own shit.”

“I did,” Liam laughs.

“Are you for real? What were you doing Louis?” I ask, shaking my head.

“Same thing I’ll do for you,” he smiles. “I’ll supervise.”

“Fuck off,” I shove him lightly as I walk by.

“You want my help,” he shrugs. “That’s all I’m offering.”

“He’s real good at it too,” Liam adds in. “Bossing people around, telling em where to put shit. He was born for the job.” We all laugh.

“That’s one thing I’d never argue,” I smile.

“You lot would be lost without me,” Louis says in a defensive tone.

“That we would,” Liam’s eyes soften again. We exchange a knowing look of agreement. I’d never say it in front of Louis because I’m pretty sure if his ego got any bigger we’d all suffocate but it was true. There’s something endearing about him that makes you feel lost when he’s not around.

“It’s settled then. You two do the heavy lifting and I’ll do the directing.” Louis walks into my room first, sitting on my bed. “I say you start with the natural disaster in there.” He points to my closet and shakes his head. “I don’t know how that happened in such a short time. Didn’t you just clean here?”

“Yeah, he threw it all in there,” Liam laughs.

“On second thought, I can move all on my own, thanks.” I don’t know when or how it happened but somewhere along the way I’ve become a part of this dynamic with them. It feels right. I may not have wanted to form any friendships but I’m damn sure glad I did. I have a feeling I’m going to need them to get through everything that’s coming my way, just as much as they’re going to need me.


	8. The Mission

“Not bad,” Harry says walking around my new room. It’s much bigger than my last, with a bar area as well as a TV. I even have my own toilet.

“I feel all posh now,” I pretend to be looking down on him. Harry starts laughing and rolls his eyes.

“Bugger off.” He shakes his head and smiles at me. It’s these little moments where he forgets who he is, the pressure on him, that make me want to rethink everything. Sometimes I wish we met under different circumstances. Maybe in an alternate universe somewhere we’re able to actually get to know one another for who we are. No rules. No restrictions.

“So,” I finally say, forcing myself to stop staring at his smile. “Why are you gracing me with your presence this time?”

“Wanted to check out the move,” he says walking towards me. “Looks good is all.”

“What, did staring at me from the camera get too boring?” I smirk and he turns away.

“You’re mad. Like I’ve got nothing better to do with my time than check in on you?”

“Well,” I motion my arm towards him. “Here ya are.”

“Right, and here I’m going.” Harry stifles a laugh and walks to the door. I want to call out something to make him stay a little longer, keep up the dynamic we have going on, but the door opens for Louis and Liam.

“Boss,” Louis nods and walks right by Harry, making a face to me.

“Harry,” Liam smiles as he walks inside.

“Carry on,” Harry says as he walks away.

“What the fuck was that about?” Louis asks, wasting no time at all.

“Nothing,” I shrug.

“Nothing? The boss is hanging out in your room and that means nothing?” Louis’s eyes squint.

“He just wanted to see if I was all moved in and ready I guess,” I reply. I didn’t know what excuse to come up with. I’m still not sure what that was. I liked it though.

“Probably wanted to see if you had anything illegal in here. Prick,” Louis rolls his eyes. I can’t help but notice how Louis treats Harry now; knowing everything Liam had told me. I guess the feeling of betrayal doesn’t only extend to Zayn. Maybe Louis blames Harry too for it. It’s clear they aren’t on the best of terms. I tend to think once you cross Louis there’s no coming back from it. It’s almost as if you’re instantly dead to him. Maybe that’s why he said Zayn wasn’t alive. In his mind he isn’t.

“Are you then?” Liam asks, trying to take Harry out of the conversation. I turn to him, unable to follow. “Ready,” he continues.

“Depends. What am I supposed to be ready for?” I look to him still lost.

“You’re the one who originally said it mate,” Louis points out.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am.” I reply turning away to hide my embarrassment.

“Have you ever heard what that X Room shit was all bout? The security meltdown and all that?” Louis looks up to the camera, smiling sweetly. Ironically.

“You really think he left here to go up to his room and watch us?” I shake my head.

“His room?” Louis turns to me.

“Erm. Office. Whatever, I say quickly.

“No, his office only shows the Potentials wing. You specifically said his room…” Louis walks closer. “Does he have a room here? Have you been to it?” I start to realize Harry’s moving into the compound must have been fallout from the Zayn situation. I wonder where he lived before then. Did he actually have a life outside The League? Was there a family involved?

“Who cares,” Liam shrugs and walks over to one of my new chairs. He sits down, eyes wide. “This is so comfortable. Can I steal one?”

“Absolutely not,” I smile. I watch as his face drops a little, feeling guilty. “But we can make that one yours. No one else can sit in it while you’re here.” He smiles again, looking like I just gave him the world. Sometimes I think Liam grew up unappreciated. It’s the little things that really make him feel special. I start to wonder how anyone who ever knew him could treat him less than how he deserves.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook for not explaining how you ended up here. I don’t get it. How does a newbie like you end up on level five? Does Harry have a hard on for ya or something?” Louis asks, ignoring our attempts to talk about anything other than Harry.

“For fucks sake Lou,” Liam rolls his eyes.

“No, I mean it. I mean I get we’ve been stuck on level three because it would kill him to level us up. God forbid the guy actually commended me for all of the success I’ve had. Fuck I think he purposely ignores me on missions. The last thing I’ve done was Niall’s initiation party and that was only because we were the last potentials.” Louis looks at Liam, waiting for him to argue but he doesn’t. I see the realization sweep across Liam’s face.

“That was the last thing you did?” Liam’s tone changes. You never would’ve been able to tell he was ready to fight Louis about two seconds ago.

“Why, have you had more?” Louis sounds almost offended with that question. “When?”

“I never said-” Liam starts to back peddle.

“Fuck off then. It is me. He’s got some vendetta over how shit went down?” Louis turns towards the camera again. “For real? I’m not the one to blame you cu-”

“Niall Horan report to the X Room” a voice interrupts Louis. I let out a sigh of relief as it repeats itself. “Niall Horan report to the X Room.”

“Oi. Again?” Louis looks at me. “He’s doing it for show now. Real son of a bitch that one. What the hell is that place anyhow? Why do you keep getting sent up there?”

“Dunno,” I shrug. “But I should get going.” I run out of there before they could even say goodbye. Honestly that whole conversation was about to take a turn to the unknown. I wonder if Harry was watching and intervened on my behalf. Either way I was grateful for the intrusion.

I take the familiar route up the lift, use the scanner, listen to the obnoxious voice and wait for the doors to open back up. But I was left confused as they did. Trad was standing there staring at me. “Well, are you going to move or are you gonna stand in there all day?” Talk about a nice greeting…

“Sorry,” I step out.

“Follow me,” he walks ahead. I do as I’m told and brace the awkward silence. There’s something aggressive in the air. I know he hates me. How could he not? I murdered his brother. Despite the situation the facts will always remain the same. I doubt Trad could ever trust me. I want to try to apologize suddenly. Maybe it’s all the recent things that have happened, hearing about Zayn, knowing just what Lark did for The League, but my guilt is creeping up on me. It probably just has more to do with the fact that Trad and Lark look so much alike honestly. It’s like seeing the ghost of the man I killed.

When I go back to paying attention to our surroundings I realize we’re already standing outside Harry’s door. Trad enters his code and within seconds Harry opens the door. “Trad,” he nods to him, eyes moving to me. “Niall,” I see a small twitch at the corner of Harry’s mouth. Did he just stop himself from smiling at me? I’d never seen that reaction at the mention of my name before. It must’ve just been a nerve thing. I doubt there was more to it. “Come on in. Both of you take a seat.”

“What’s going on?” I ask, doing as I’m told. I watch as Harry turns to me.

“It’s time to fill you in on your mission. You’re ready,” he nods to Trad who walks over to the laptop sitting on the table. “The week that you became a Potential there was an issue with our systems. We were hacked. Delicate information on all of our members had been stolen. All of our higher ups that didn’t live here were compromised.” Harry begins slowly. Each word seems drawn out. “It’s an embarrassment. We tried to keep it a secret from anyone beneath us.” I could sense the guilt again. I think anytime something bad happens he bares the weight of it all.

“What happened?” I try to move things along thinking the quicker he got it out the easier it would be.

“The other day when I called you up here and we were testing the security systems, Trad tried to recreate the hack. He was able to trace it back to the original attack. A former agent of ours committed it.” Harry’s eyes got cold, his jaw clenching. I could instantly tell it was Zayn. After everything Liam mentioned it had to be. How else would a former agent torment Harry this badly? So that must mean Liam was right. Zayn is still alive.

“Who?” I wanted to hear Harry confirm it. Maybe that would force him to tell me what happened. I could see what matched up to Liam’s story and what differed.

“Trad, can you leave us?” Harry turned to him. I watch Trad’s expression of confusion form on his face. “It’s going to take some time to explain the nature of this mission to Niall properly and I know you have a lot of work to do with the defense systems.”

“Of course,” Trad stands up glaring at me. I think he’s actually jealous that Harry wants to be alone with me. I don’t understand why, it’s not like there’s anything amazing happening right now. Honestly I’m a little terrified to be alone with him at the moment. He seems so different right now. Darker. Scarier. Trad leaves and Harry turns back to me.

“The former agent,” he begins to explain, “is named Zayn. It all started a few years back. A new comer the same time as Liam and Louis.” So he is starting from the top. “He used me. He used us to steal our codes, information, addresses, missions, weapons, plans, you name it and he stole it. A lot of our agents died because of this mistake. My mistake. I never should’ve allowed him to get as close as I did.”

“It’s not your fault,” I start to feel as bad as he does. Watching the pain in Harry’s eyes just about tears me apart. “Liam told me about him.” I couldn’t allow Harry to explain it all. I needed to stop his pain.

“So you know,” Harry looks down, biting his lip. “It was my fault. I allowed my past to cloud my judgment. If I kept my eyes open, listened to the people around me, it wouldn’t have gone on as long as it did. It wouldn’t have happened again. That hack,” Harry actually seems to be struggling to talk. I think he’s fighting back tears. I feel my own start to build up, enraged that someone can do this to him.

“You’re not responsible for someone else’s actions,” I defend him.

“He should’ve been dead,” Harry looks up at me, eyes cold. “I let my heart rule and I lost some of the best men all over again. After the first time, the physical attack on the compound…” he looks to me to see if I knew what he was talking about, which I did thanks to Liam. Once Harry was sure I was keeping up he continued, “I should’ve ended it that night. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.” He shook his head, tears starting to fall. I stood up and walked towards him. “I let him escape.” Harry full on lost it after that. I wrap my arms around him, holding him as he buries his face in my neck. I think he was trying to hide from it all. The shame, the regret. I wonder how long he’s been holding onto it. I remember what Liam said, how hard he fought for me to keep an open mind about Zayn but I failed him. I can’t do it, not anymore. Holding harry as he sobs made me realize I agree with Louis. He’s a bastard. He should die for what he did. The hurt he caused. After a few minutes of silence Harry slowly lifts his head. He looks at me, eyes still watering. “I’m sorry,” he starts to say.

“Stop it. Don’t apologize. For any of it.” I want him to know I don’t blame him for what happened. No one should. There’s only one person to blame and if I ever come face to face with him, he better run.

“You don’t understand.”

“Yes I do. You blame yourself because he was your friend. You feel responsible. But the blame is all on him.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It should be.” Harry lets out a small laugh so quiet I almost miss it. If I didn’t have every sense of mine focused solely on him I would’ve.

“The night of the attack. It was honestly a warzone. I had never experienced anything like it. They came at us full force. We lost about half of The League, and I still couldn’t kill him.” Harry looks at me, bewildered. “He was to blame for all of it and I let him walk away.”

“You loved him. You cared about him. He meant something to you,” I start to defend Harry.

“I’m the boss. I’m not supposed to let my feelings interfere with the right decisions. What I choose to do has consequences. Lives were lost. Lives that I was put in charge of. People I swore to protect.” He raised his voice with every word. I could sense the rage building. He hates himself.

“You’re human. You’re allowed to make mistakes-”

“When I make mistakes people are killed. Innocent people. The hack that occurred the week you started your Potential training? It cost 137 lives. And not just our agents. Their families. Upper levels who had made themselves full with wives, children, husbands.” Harry turned around and punched the wall. I listen as he starts to whimper. “Their blood is on my hands.” He leans his head against the wall. I put my hand on his back.

“Stop it,” I whisper. “Stop doing this to yourself. You’re a good man-”

“And what did I say about good men?” He turns to look at me again, our faces almost touching.

“That’s not true. Not you.”

“I need your help.”

“Anything.” I look up, hoping he can believe that. Anything at all. Whatever he asks of me, I’ll do it. Harry stands up straight again, walking over towards the table. He takes in a deep breath, sitting down. He nods to the seat across from him so I follow.

“The mission I’ve mentioned,” he starts to talk again avoiding eye contact. “It’s a selfish one.”

“How?”

“It needs to be done but the restrictions on it are because of my mistakes. No one can know.”

“I’ll take it to my grave,” I say offering up a small smile. I watch Harry bite his lip, trying to stop himself from crying some more.

“Don’t say that,” he shakes his head looking back up to me. “That might actually happen.” He loses his voice at the end of that sentence. Did he care that much if I died?

“I’m harder to kill than you think. Don’t worry about me,” I smile again. “What’s the mission?”

“I need you to get close to him… to Zayn… I need you to watch him. Learn. And when the time comes, I need you to kill him.” The word him was barely audible. Even now the thought of Zayn’s death torments Harry. I can’t believe the hold this guy has over him.

“Done,” I nod. “You can count on me. I’ll do it. Tell me everything I need to know on where he is, what he likes to do, how to get close to him and I’ll do it. I promise. I’ll make things right for you.”

“You’ll be safe on appearance. You weren’t in the system when they hacked it because you were just a Potential. There was no need to enter you in the database. Everything you did that needed clearance was done through Lark.” Harry starts to explain. His voice seems calmer now that he’s moved on from the hardest part. “It’ll help you. I’ll give you a packet full of information on him. Who he is, where he’s from, his family, his interests, dislikes, fears, hopes, dreams-all of it. You’ll need to memorize it front and back.”

“It’ll be my bible.”

“You’re going to have to do a lot of recon for this. In the real world. Unprotected,” Harry starts to lose his voice a little again so he clears his throat. “I’m going to listen in the best I can and if things go south I’ll try to cover you-”

“No,” I interrupt him. “I don’t care what the situation is that I get into, I don’t want you near it. He knows you. They all know you. If you show up there’s no telling what they’ll do to you. I won’t have that on my head.”

“But if I’m not covering you-”

“I’ll be fine. I’m better on my own anyway.” I argue. I watch Harry look away.

“You can’t tell them.”

“I know,” I nod, agreeing.

“If they find out Louis will want in and this is way too dangerous to involve him in. It would be signing his death certificate. And Liam…”

“He’d try to stop me,” I nod again. Fuck. Liam. I didn’t even think of him. He’s going to hate me. All he wanted was for me to give Zayn’s memory a chance and now I’m the one assigned to take him out. There will be no coming back from that if Liam ever finds out. So it’s settled then. I can’t tell a living soul. For both of their own goods.

“I wish it didn’t have to be you.” Harry says breaking the silence that surrounded us. I look up, not sure what he means. “I wish you weren’t the one risking it all like this.”

“I don’t. I’m glad it’s me. If I can help put the son of a bitch that did all this,” I motion around to Harry’s current emotional state and the hole in the wall, “away, end it once and for all, then let me. I want to. It’ll be an honor.”

“I’ll cover for you where Liam and Louis are concerned.”

“What?”

“I’ll invite them up here. Give them some mission that feels important enough to get off your back.”

“You were listening in on us,” I couldn’t believe Louis was right. Harry doesn’t answer. “Admit it, you heard that entire conversation.”

“Only part of it. I wanted to call you up here but I didn’t want to interrupt if you were in the middle of having fun.” Harry looks down, cheeks turning red.

“Was it true what Lou said? Bout you holding him back?”

“For his own good. Not because I blame him. He’s hot headed. There’s no way to control him when his emotions are involved. I’ve been trying to limit his involvement because almost every mission we’ve had since has somehow come back to Zayn.”

“You’re protecting him.” So it isn’t just me Harry likes to protect. It’s all of us.

“Though I could upgrade them. His room is too small for all of his crap. I don’t think he can even stand in it.” Harry shakes his head.

“I know. And he has the nerve to say I’m messy,” I laugh. “Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer it right away, but I want you to know I’m asking at some point.”

“Okay.”

“When Liam was explaining everything to me, he said that you found Zayn up here one day. What happened?”

“I think that’s enough for one day,” Harry stands up walking to his door. “The packet will be delivered to your room sometime this week. You need to start reading it and memorizing it right away. You’ll hear from me shortly after to check in on your progress. Like I said, I’ll keep Liam and Louis occupied so they won’t disrupt you.”

“Alright,” I head over to the door, pausing in front of Harry. “I meant what I said, bout none of it being your fault. Don’t be too hard on yourself Harry. You don’t deserve it. You’re not a punching bag. You’re a human being. And a real good one at that.”

“Be careful,” he replies, opening the door.

“Always am,” I smirk.

I walk out and head back down to my room, finally knowing what I’m assigned to do. I need to find, study and murder this Zayn fellow. That shouldn’t be too hard right? If he was able to come in here and deceive everyone I should be able to do the same to him. It’s actually really easy. It’s basically one termination. That’s all I need to do. I need to terminate him. Why was Harry making it out to sound much worse than that? He’s getting all worried about nothing. I can handle it. I’ll be fine. I know I will.


	9. Something More

Zain Javadd Malik, known as Zayn. Born on January 12th, 1993 in Bradford. His parents are Yaser and Patricia Malik. He has three sisters, one older, two younger. He’s close to his family, still seeing them weekly. Or every other week when he’s too busy betraying the people who cared about him. He loves to draw, write, and even sing. He has a real voice too. A proper one apparently. He’s never been on a plane, never had a passport. Has big dreams but thinks that’s all they’ll ever be…

This packet is full of information. If you can even call it a packet. It talks about everything. His likes, dislikes, hobbies, annoyances, every damn second of his life. It’s a little scary how detailed it gets. Like do I honestly need to know what shampoo he uses or how many times a day he looks in the mirror? It’s a bit invasive if you ask me. He’s a target. A mark. Why do I need to read all this crap? It’s 50 pages. Well 51 to be exact. Pure rubbish. I couldn’t care less. But I’ve memorized it. Harry told me I needed to know him better than I know myself so that’s exactly what I did.

It’s easy to see why Liam got so close to him. I can even begin to understand why Harry trusted him so deeply. He’s a straightforward guy. The people in his life are his number one. I wonder how he tried to pass that off when he was pretending to be a member of The League. The first thing you have to do is cut all ties. I wonder if Harry let him skip that one.

Harry. I wonder what he’s been up to. It’s been a week since I last saw him. Think he’s been avoiding me to be honest. I wonder how many people have seen him cry. Especially since everything went down. Yeah. He’s definitely avoiding me. Speaking of avoiding me Louis and Liam haven’t been seen around here either. Wonder what mission Harry gave them to clear up my time. He must have been serious about me memorizing all of this information. I’m getting sick of it though. I take back ever wanting to know anything on Zayn before in my life.

“Niall,” there’s a knock on the door. I jump, welcoming the thought that someone was here. Someone was going to save me from this hell. I shove the packet under my pillow and run to the door, throwing it open.

“Harry?” I smile, happiest I’ve been all week. He smiles back, mouth open.

“You alright?”

“Amazing. Please come in,” I look at him waiting to hear his reply, eager for a conversation. I think he senses this and takes pity on me.

“Just for a moment,” he nods. Harry walks inside and I shut the door, following him. It’s almost as if I’d forgotten how to behave around people. Since when do I hate being alone? Last I checked that was my favorite thing in the world but you’d think this week was pure torture. Well it was. Those facts. The information. So dull, and never ending too.

“You want something? I can make tea.” Harry takes a seat, smiling at me.

“No, I’m good thanks. Can you sit?” I sit next to him quickly, waiting for him to continue. “How’s the reading?”

“Sucks,” I laugh. Harry just nods so I continue, “I mean I’ve done it. Thousand times over. It’s just real repetitive at this point. There’s a lot in it. Have you read it?”

“Who do you think wrote it all?”

“You?” my eyes widen in disbelief. Surely informative packets like this are below Harry’s abilities. Especially ones this thick.

“I knew it all already,” he shrugs. I think it still surprises me how close he was to Zayn. For a moment I feel a little anger building up in the pit of my stomach. I push my fingernails into the palm of my hand as hard as I can. Zayn didn’t deserve that much attention from Harry. How can you betray someone like that when they know literally everything about you? Still, after all this time Harry was able to write a textbook on him. I doubt he’s ever known that much about anyone else in his life. Why was Zayn so special? “Niall?” Harry pauses for a second, hand gently placed on my shoulder. “You alright?”

“Good,” I nod. Harry glances at my fist and I release my fingers. “Sorry. Bit cold is all.”

“Right. Maybe I should come back?”

“No, stay. Been forever since I’ve had someone to talk to.”

“If you thought that was bad you’re going to have a long road ahead of you,” Harry softly replies. I feel his hand move on my shoulder, giving a soft squeeze.

“I’ll be fine. Always am.”

“Oh I know you are,” he laughs, smirking. Did he just make a joke? A corny pick up line?

“That’s what they all tell me.”

“Who all?”

“My secret admirers.”

“How many you got?”

“Loads.” I laugh. He just nods.

“Probably true.” Harry pulls his hand back and clears his throat. “Did Lark ever teach you how to pick a cover ID?”

“Yeah. Said a good story is one close to the truth.”

“Exactly. Makes it easier to remember. We need to make you one. I figured I’d let you come up with the basics so it’s more believable. I don’t want you to trip up on this. Whatever you say, we’ll fit it in.”

“How deep do I need it to go?”

“You need a life. A name, background, even some stories… some of those can be true. Just change a few details.” Harry takes a pause and looks down. “Whatever you think is necessary in day to day conversation.”

“Am I going to talk to him?” I thought my mission was to find him, follow him and kill him. Now I need to strike up a conversation?

“He’s skilled. You won’t have any chances until he trusts you and he won’t do that until you open up to him. You’ll have to tell him something personal that he can relate to.”

“Like what?”

“You’ve read the packet. That’s up to you to decide on. Where can you relate to him?”

“What if I can’t?” I start to feel my heart beat faster as I try to think of something deep that will create a bond strong enough to allow me to kill Zayn.

“You will. You might not have it right now but when you talk to him it’ll come.” Harry looks around my room. He seems to be uncomfortable again. I wonder if it’s talking about Zayn or if he was starting to doubt me too. “You’ll need a name,” he says abruptly, catching me off guard.

“Pardon?”

“A name. You’ll need a new one. Something easy for you to remember.”

“Oh, right. That would come with a new identity,” I laugh. Harry offers a small smile in return.

“Do you have any? We’ll need to start working on all forms of ID for you. Build up an online trail. Some history. Create documented stories. A few parking tickets or something.”

“Parking tickets? I have no trouble parking. At least make it something believable.”

“Like?”

“Public intoxication. Public urination. Drunken fights.”

“Public urination? That’s what you’re asking for?”

“I just want it realistic.”

“That’s realistic?” Harry laughs, “We really do have more in common than I thought.”

“What?” My eyes widen and I jump forward in my seat. “You?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

“I just didn’t think you had it in you to get a little crazy.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Harry says. I can’t help but get the feeling that he’s actually offended by this.

“I’m sorry. Do tell.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Oh so it’s a boring story then? You just out in the woods and needed a wee? I knew you didn’t have it in you.”

“Fuck off,” he laughs. “I’m not shy about letting it all out. Got no reason to be,” he winks. I laugh, suddenly realizing how warm it was in here. I rub the palm of my hands on my jeans and notice my eyes somehow have made their way down Harry’s body. Did I just check him out? Fuck. It just got even warmer in here didn’t it? I can feel my cheeks starting to flush.

“So a name you said?” I try to quickly change the subject.

“I did,” Harry sounds amused all of a sudden. Smug even. He can’t read my mind, can he? No, not even Harry has that ability. That’s mad. You’re losing it Horan.

“I think I got one.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Neil. Neill Gallagher.”

“Okay. What’s the connection?”

“Neil is something some of my old friends used to call me growing up. Just an old joke. And Gallagher is from me mum,” I shrug. “Easy for me to remember both. Close to real life.”

“I’ll get started on that right away.” Harry stands up and pauses. “If you ever want to talk or need some human interaction feel free to come up to my room… You’re permanently on the list of clearance to get up there.”

“I am? Didn’t know that was possible.”

“We’ll be meeting a lot up there to talk about your mission anyway so it’s easier that way. I just thought I’d let you know in case you start to go crazy kept in here.”

“Am I going to be here long enough to use that? Or am I going to have to stay somewhere out there?”

“I don’t know. This isn’t any normal mission.”

“We’re both flying blind,” I laugh out of nervousness.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Harry walks closer to me and kneels down in front so we’re eye to eye. “I’ll be watching everything. Won’t be more than a few yards away. If anything goes wrong I’ll have your back.”

“I thought I already vetoed that.” My voice was softer than I expected it to be. I wanted to sound scary almost, like I mean business, but I was so touched by what Harry said. I’ve never had anyone looking out for me like that before. He’s willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s not just a bunch of words; I can tell he means it.

“You tried, but ultimately only I can veto something,” he smiles, resting his hand on my thigh.

“I can’t let you do that,” I start to argue.

“You don’t have a choice,” he reminds me. “I’m the boss and I’m not leaving you unprotected out there.”

“So send someone else, anyone else.”

“It’s too big of a risk. They know everyone.”

“I don’t care. Let someone else take it. I don’t want it to be you.”

“Niall,”

“No,” I shake his hand off my leg and stand up, walking as far away from him as I can without leaving. I don’t want to be that close when I’m trying to argue with him. It just makes it harder. “This mission is too risky for you. More so than anyone else. You have a history to it… a connection. If you’re spotted they’ll torture you for answers on everything. You’re too valuable to be involved.” I’ve come to notice when I’m passionate about an argument I automatically turn to logic to back me up. “You’re the leader of an organization Harry, you know too much. These guys will do whatever it takes to pull information out of you. If you’re in danger the entire being of The League is in danger too.”

“I’d never give anything up,” I think I offended him. He stands and looks at me, hurt.

“I didn’t say you would. That’s not what I’m worried about.” I walk towards him a little bit, stopping at just an arms length away. “I’m worried about what they’d do to you. If anything happened to you because of me, ME Harry, I wouldn’t be able to go on.” I think I stopped using what Lark taught me about hiding my emotions when I talk because Harry moves closer and wraps his arms around me.

“Then you know why I can’t let you be out there alone,” he whispers. We stand there for a few seconds, neither one wanting to break the moment. It was different than a week ago when I was holding him in his room. That was just me trying to comfort someone I’ve grown to care about. A friend trying to help another be strong. But this moment, this feeling seemed more than that. We were both fighting to protect the other because the thought of something happening was too overwhelming. We’re both ready to risk our lives, endure whatever torture The Knights can come up with, just to keep the other out of harm’s way.

“So what do we do?” I look at him and Harry offers a small smile.

“We succeed. The sooner we end this the sooner we’ll both be able to get some sleep and stop worrying about each other.”

“You’re worried about me?”

“Have been since the day you stepped foot into this building. Laughing all the way to your room with Lark. I don’t know how you did it. Everyone was scared shitless and there you were laughing like a madman.”

“I was scared,” I laugh. “That’s what I do when I’m nervous. That and I might’ve told Lark a good joke or two long the way.” Harry nods. He lets his arms slowly fall from my back, brushing down my body. I wonder if he did that on purpose or if that’s just how they fell.

“I need to get back, Trad is supposed to brief me on how well his work is going.” Harry’s eyes fall. I can’t help but think he doesn’t want to leave. “Tomorrow whenever you’re ready you should come up to my place so we can figure out what the next step is. I think you’ve read everything you need to, there’s so sense in torturing yourself anymore.”

“What is the next step?”

“That’s something we need to decide together. I don’t want to rush this. I want you to be involved in every decision.”

“Just not the decision on keeping you out of it,” I smirk.

“I still need some control,” he nods. “The offer still stands though… if you want to get away from here my door is always open. Even if I’m not in there your code will get you in. You can just hang out till I get back.”

“You’re allowing me to be alone in your place?” I look up, wondering how many people have that privilege.

“You’ve taken on the hardest mission we’ve had to date. You’re willing to die for The League. I think I can trust you.”

“No,” I argue.

“What?”

“I’m not willing to die for The League on this one, I’m willing to die for you.” I correct him. Harry’s cheeks start to turn red and he smiles wide enough for his dimples to be on full display.

“Sorry,” he looks away embarrassed. “I don’t know what that was.”

“Don’t be,” I smile. I take a step closer. “I mean it. Everything I do, I’m doing for you.” Harry swallows hard enough for me to hear. He steps closer, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

“That goes both way.” I feel shivers up and down my spine. Harry stays there, letting his lips faintly touch my ear.

“Niall, you in here?” Louis pounds on the door. Really? Now? Harry stands up slowly and looks to me. I shake my head and place my finger in front of my lips.

“Maybe he’ll go away,” I whisper. I didn’t want Harry to leave and I didn’t want to deal with the thousand questions I’d get from Louis.

“Niall?” He knocks again before I hear him turn around.

“I thought you wanted company,” Harry raises his eyebrows.

“Just the right company,” I hold Harry’s gaze.

“I wish I could stay then,” he nods. I feel his hand on my shoulder, softly rubbing it. Harry smiles and moves closer. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“You never do.” Harry laughs and bites his lip.

“Lets hope you always believe that.” Harry removes his hand and takes another step closer so that there’s no room between us. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” I whisper. He smiles and walks around me to the door. I turn and follow his exit with my eyes, watching until the door shuts behind him. What was that? That wasn’t a normal encounter, that was something more. Much more. I think I’m actually falling for Harry. And if I’m not mistaken it felt like he may be falling for me too. At the very least there’s something physical there hidden under the friendship we’ve built. I want to explore it, see where it takes us. Am I mad for that? Hell if we’re willing to die for one another we might as well have some fun while we’re alive. Isn’t that the point of living?


	10. A Personal Mission

“You alright Horan?” Liam asks, leaning in closer.

“Think he’s tuned us out,” Louis says, flicking some of his food at me with his fork.

“Oi, come on,” I wave my hand in his direction. “Why would you waste that?”

“It’s the only thing to get your attention,” Louis laughs.

“What were you thinking about anyhow? Must’ve been important.” Liam offers a small smile.

“Nothing,” I shrug. “Just daydreaming I guess.”

“Didn’t get any sleep?” Liam frowns.

“Nah, haven’t been able to sleep in ages,” I reply. Honestly I can’t stop thinking about Harry. All I want to do is go to his room but I keep stopping myself. Maybe I just want to make sure he’s there when I go. I don’t know what I’d do waiting for him. Probably just leave and come back.

“What were you doing when I came to get you earlier then?” Louis sounds offended.

“I was on the toilet. There’s no privacy here is there?” I roll my eyes.

“Welcome to The League,” he smiles.

“Sorry mate, we were just excited to have some time to spend with ya,” Liam offers an explanation. “Soon as we realized we were free to grab a bite to eat we wanted you to join us.”

“Thanks,” I smile at him. It was super weird not seeing them in a week. I wanted to ask them what they’ve been doing but then I’d need to have an answer for how I spent my time. It’s better to not talk about work.

“Have you been doing anything with your life?” Louis asks as he shoves the last of his lunch into his mouth.

“Nah,” I reply truthfully. It’s not a lie; all I’ve done is read that bloody novel on Zayn’s life. I wouldn’t exactly consider that to be monumental.

“Sitting around missing us?” Louis smirks. “That’s sad mate.”

“What can I say, life is meaningless without Liam,” I smile over at him and he laughs. Louis lets out a shriek.

“That’s cold,” he grabs his chest pretending to be dying of pain.

“Truth hurts,” I take the last sip of my tea.

“For real, what have you been doing?” Louis narrows his eyes.

“What do you mean?” I try avoiding the question.

“You’ve been called out every five seconds on some sort of mysterious mission or some shit, I just find it hard to believe that all of a sudden when we’re not around you don’t get so much as a rubbish collection assignment.”

“Maybe someone’s just been saving me from your boring company,” I fake a yawn.

“Fuck off,” Louis shoves me.

“What about you? What were you doing?” I hope that by reversing the question I’ll be able to sneak away from it completely. Whenever Louis gets wrapped up talking about himself he tends to forget what was going on before hand.

“Nothing,” he casually shrugs. “Right Li?”

“Right,” Liam nods in agreement.

“Nothing?” I raise my eyebrows. “Find that hard to believe.”

“Dunno what to tell you,” Louis shrugs again. “Guess we’ve all just been doing nothing with our lives.” The way that Louis says it stops me from saying anything further. If I even tried to push the situation he’d play it right back on me.

“Guess so,” I nod.

“Did you hear we’re moving?” Liam beams one of his signature smiles in my direction. I can’t help but smile back.

“No, where to?”

“Fifth floor,” Liam answers.

“Looks like we’re going to be one big happy floor,” Louis adds in.

“Really? You’re moving up to the fifth?” I try to figure out the reason for their jumping over level four. I still didn’t know exactly why I jumped so high, other than to avoid security problems and have easier access to all the information I’ll need for my Zayn mission. Did they get something equally challenging? What would it be though? They wouldn’t have a mission to do with Zayn, Harry made that clear to me. So what could be equally important?

“Yup. Guess you’re not the only special one anymore,” Louis smirks. It’s like he knew I was trying to figure it all out and he enjoyed how it was killing me.

“I never thought I was,” I stand up quickly. “I’m gonna go try to fit in a nap, I’m knackered.”

“So soon?” Louis raises an eyebrow.

“I’ve been needing it forever mate. Think the lack of sleep just hit me all at once.”

“Coming down with something?” Liam looks concerned. I feel bad for worrying him. Honestly I just want to go up and see Harry.

“Nah just need some shut eye. I’ll be fine,” I smile.

“Get some rest then. Hope to see you sometime for real,” Liam smiles back. I nod in agreement. Louis doesn’t say anything, just waves me off. I walk out of there, trying to stop myself from running. I don’t know what came over me but suddenly I just wanted to be alone with Harry. There’s something different when it’s just the two of us. I don’t know if it’s the world or me but everything just seems better. Easier. Which is funny considering whenever we’re together we usually end up talking about my impending doom. I guess that’s a good thing though. Everyone needs someone who can turn the darkest moments into something bright.

 

When I get to Harry’s door I find myself pausing. Suddenly I’m extremely nervous. What am I going to say when I walk in? Or even do? I didn’t think this through. Harry told me to come up here though, whenever I wanted to be fair. I reach out to the door and wait. I know that voice is telling Harry I’m the one here for him. The door unlocks and opens on it’s own. I look around for Harry but I don’t see him anywhere. Great. I wanted him to be here. Now what do I do? I walk inside and look around some more. The temptation to go through his stuff creeps in on me. I wonder what he’s hiding in here. What kinds of things he has in his drawers and closets… no. No. I can’t do that to Harry. He trusts me. I won’t start snooping around on him and make him doubt that. Whatever he wants me to know, he’ll tell me. I open his fridge and pull out a beer. The monitors on the wall catch my attention. I walk over, trying to see if I can figure out where they’re showing. They all keep changing, scanning every room in the compound; except for one… monitor three hasn’t changed once. It’s like Harry specifically kept it on that one. It looks familiar too… wait, is that… it is. It’s my room. That’s gotta be a coincidence. Creepy as fuck when you think about it. Does he really just stand up here watching me?

“That was from this morning when I was searching to see if you were alone,” Harry walks into the room. “See,” he taps the screen and it goes back to randomly searching. “Haven’t been in here since to put it back. Screen three is the one where I can pick a specific room. Look,” he pulls up the search history and I see member’s names show up. Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Trad Gifton, and so forth.

“And here I thought I was special,” I smirk turning back to Harry. He laughs and nods his head.

“You are. But stalking isn’t my thing, not when there’s no need for it.”

“Right, that’s mine, least it better be.” I laugh a little.

“You’ll be the best stalker I know.”

“Thanks…” I laugh and hold up my drink. “Sorry I raided your fridge a bit.”

“Good. There’s food too if you want it.”

“Nah, I just came from the hall with Louis and Liam. Ate plenty.”

“Anything good today?”

“The usual,” I shrug. I take a quick sip and place the bottle on the table. “How was your meeting with Trad? Everything going alright?”

“I don’t even know,” he shakes his head looking defeated.

“What’s wrong?”

“Some days I just wonder what I’m even doing. You ever think that?”

“Every damn day,” I laugh.

“What helps you get over it?”

“Honestly?” I wait, looking at Harry.

“Yeah, go on.”

“You.”

“Me? How?”

“Dunno. I just think of you. Everything you’ve done for people. How it feels when I’m around you…” I slow down my words, softening my voice. Why am I so honest in his presence? I swear those green eyes have some secret power over me.

“How does it feel when you’re around me?”

“Like there’s a reason for it all. I never used to understand why I was here. My life never seemed to make any sense to me. It’s what led me to The League to be honest. And when I met you things just started to change.”

“What things?”

“How I viewed everything. What I thought of the world. Suddenly it stopped becoming something meaningless. I had a reason to want to fight. You’re that reason. Any time I think of you I know the world deserves to be a better place. You deserve a better world. I’d do anything to help you get that.” Harry takes a step closer to me, holding my gaze. There’s something different about the way his hand rubs my shoulder this time.

“You know we shouldn’t,” his voice is almost a whisper.

“There’s a lot of things I probably shouldn’t do,” I say as I close the gap between us. “Doesn’t mean I don’t.” I stand up tall, tilting my head up towards his. I hold his face softly as I bring my lips to his. Suddenly everything changed. Harry’s arms move down my back, wrapping tightly and pulling me in closer. I run my hand back through his hair, tangling my fingers in his curls. Harry bites my lip, smirking as he rests his forehead against mine.

“You’re going to be my downfall Horan,” he whispers before kissing me harder. Harry pushes me up against the wall, moving his lips down my jaw, sucking as he gets to my neck.

“Everyone needs a weakness,” I breathlessly reply. My mind couldn’t keep up with what was happening. One minute Harry was still just my boss and now his fingers are fumbling on my belt buckle as he bites my collarbone.

“And what’s yours?”

“You,” I gasp as I feel the button on my jeans come undone.

“At least we’ll go down together,” he kisses my lips again, pressing his body hard against me. I feel his hips thrust forward while his fingers teasingly play around with my zipper, pressing against me. Before I have a second to react there’s a loud buzzer going off.

“Trad Gifton is here to see you” that annoying voice that I have never hated so much before goes off.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Harry groans. His eyes soften as he pulls my zipper back up, kissing me again. “I’m so sorry but I really need to get that.”

“The downside to having a thing for the man in charge,” I bite his lip, pulling back slowly.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Harry presses his hips into me on more time before backing off. He runs his hands through his hair slowly, licking his lips. “Fuck this blows.” He turns his back to me, fixing his clothes as he walks over towards the door.

“Not the type I was hoping for,” I smirk as he shoots me a look. “Why don’t you take a few minutes in the toilet. This might take a while.”

“Sure,” I nod walking behind him. I slap his ass as I walk by, laughing as I hear him moan. I officially hate Trad as much as he hates me. Maybe more. As I pull the door to the toilet shut I hear Harry greeting Trad. Then silence. I wonder what they’re talking about. What was so important that he needed to run right up to Harry’s room and let him know. Didn’t they just see each other? Wasn’t that whole meeting miserable? I turn on the faucet and splash some water onto my face. I’ve never seen my skin so flushed before. That’s embarrassing. Does it always do this when I’m aroused? I’ve never actually stopped to look in a mirror before. I sit on the toilet and debate having a quick wank while I wait. I know it’s inappropriate considering there’s something serious going on out there but I just keep picturing Harry. I can almost still feel his hands on my skin, his body pressed against mine, lips moving all over me. Fuck this isn’t fair. Are they still talking out there? I walk over to the cup holding Harry’s toothbrush and pick it up, laying the brush on the counter. I lean the cup against the door. It’s official. I’ve reached a new low. What the hell am I even doing? It’s not working anyway. I can’t hear shit. This entire place is probably soundproofed. I set the glass back on the counter and turn around again. That tub looks pretty inviting. It could definitely fit two. I step inside it, closing my eyes and imagining Harry in it after a long day of work. He probably lights every candle he has, puts in some calming bath gel and listens to a stress reducing playlist as he soaks in it for hours. I bite my lip, realizing this isn’t helping me one bit. Fuck Harry.

 

“Niall,” I feel Harry shake me softly.

“What?” I open my eyes slowly.

“You alright?” I sit up straight. Harry gently rubs my back, smiling at me. “You fell asleep.”

“How long was I in here?”

“Two hours,” he shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, I kept trying to get rid of him but I couldn’t. We needed to fix something right away.”

“What happened?”

“I can’t say,” he looks at me expectantly. I don’t know why but suddenly being kept out of the loop pissed me off. I didn’t want it to show though. I need to work on getting that back. Starting now my emotions won’t be on display. No matter how Harry gets to me.

“Right,” I nod and stand up. “I should probably head out anyway. I’m sure you have a lot to do now.

“Niall,”

“No I get it. Clearance levels and all that. It’s good. You have your missions and I have mine. Can’t get distracted, right?” I offer a small smile, realizing that I was able to do exactly what I wanted.

“Right,” his face falls. I step out of the tub and walk towards the door. “Niall,” Harry stands and follows me. “I don’t regret before. I mean I regret getting interrupted but I don’t regret you.”

“That makes two of us then.”

“My offer still stands. Any time you want to come up here, for any reason at all-” I cut him off with a kiss, letting him know that I’m okay. He smiles, dimples and all.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Promise?” Harry leans in closer to me. I take a step back from the weight of his body against mine and he laughs.

“I promise,” I kiss him one more time before turning around. I open the door and pause. “It was about me, wasn’t it?”

“What?” Harry’s eyes widen.

“I thought so,” I laugh.

“Niall-”

“Nah, it’s alright. I just had a feeling it was something to do with me. Call me egocentric or whatever.”

“If it’s that important to me, it’s most likely about you.” I freeze, staring at Harry. Fuck. How do I just walk away when he says something like that? I think he reads the hesitation on my face because he jumps on the chance to ask me to stay. “Don’t go. I mean, you can if you want to. I’m not ordering you to stay, but there’s plenty of room for you to stay up here tonight. If you wanted. We don’t even need to do anything.” I start to realize how lonely Harry must be, never actually being able to talk to someone about anything other than work. He spends all his time being a boss and never being able to relax. I close the door and take another step back towards him.

“One condition,” I whisper.

“What’s that?”

“If we share your bed, I get to be the big spoon,” I smirk. Harry laughs and pulls me closer to him.

“You know I actually prefer to be the little spoon,” he leans down and kisses me softly. “I guess we just fit.”

“Imagine that,” I laugh against his lips. Whatever the interruption was earlier, I don’t need to know it. Harry will tell me whatever is life or death. I get there’s going to be secrets kept if we continue to play around like this but I don’t care. I think we both feel how strong this connection we have is. Its not just some fling to pass the time or stop two lonely hearts, it’s something more. I don’t know how long we’ll be able to keep it going or how much time I’ll have before I need to move out for my mission but I plan to spend as much of my spare time as I can exploring Harry. My own personal mission is to know who he really is and what made him this way, before I leave. I’ll know him better than Zayn. That’s a promise.


	11. Blood League

“You snore in your sleep,” Harry says as he pours milk into his cereal.

“Yeah? Well you hog the covers,” I reach over and snatch the carton from his hands.

“I’m lengthier. I need more of them than you.”

“By a few inches.”

“That’s a few inches of extra blanket needed.”

“Right,” I roll my eyes, though I can’t hide the endearment in my voice. Harry smiles in victory, motioning a small fist pump into the air. “You’re such a nerd. How are you the leader of this place again?”

“Fear.”

“Fear? I couldn’t be afraid of you if you were standing with a gun to my head.”

“Now. But when I first called you out of your room what did you think of me?” I pause, thinking back to that moment. It seems like a lifetime ago.

“Thought you were a real scary son of a bitch to be honest.”

“See, fear.” Harry smiles and shovels some of his cereal into his mouth. I sit back, watching him for a moment.

“Does that ever bother you? Pretending to be someone you’re not?”

“It’s a part of the job,” he shrugs.

“Isn’t it lonely?”

“It was, till you came along.” Harry stretches his leg out under the table and strokes mine. I smile.

“You’re mad.”

“Mad about you,” he winks. I roll my eyes again. I try not to spend too much time thinking about how strange our relationship really is. When you break it down we’re almost at different levels in it. Harry knows everything about me. He’s studied my movements, my thoughts, and even my actions for months. He had an entire file dedicated to me, all this information stockpiled on who I really am, what I've been through. But when it comes to him, I only know random things. The things that he’s allowed me to see and what Liam has told me. It’s strange. We’re essentially in two different relationships, yet we both know there’s something about the other person that changes us. Harry has a way of breaking down my walls, making me act without thinking. I’d be an idiot not to realize that, just as I’d be an idiot not to realize I somehow do the same to him. “Niall,” Harry stares at me. “You alright? Lost you there for a moment.”

“Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

“About?”

“How unfair it is that you know everything about me and I know so little bout you. Just doesn’t seem right.” Harry nods.

“It’s different.”

“How so?”

“It’s all a matter of security. As soon as people know me everything is in jeopardy.”

“You can’t use that line for everything.”

“Wanna bet?”

“I’m gonna break you down one day Harry Styles. Know everything there is about you.” I watch Harry almost pull back instantly. “Did I say something wrong?”

“It’s just that usually when people want to know me that badly it’s to tear down The League.”

“That’s not what I meant… I’m not… I wouldn’t use you like this.” Harry just nods, leaving me to wonder if that’s happened to him before. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“I know,” he reaches over the table and places a hand on mine. It almost seemed forced. I wonder if he did it just to keep me from questioning his past. “We need to talk about your Z mission.”

“Now?” I wonder why that made Harry’s mind jump to Zayn.

“We need to make sure you’re prepped and ready. There’s no way I’m letting you go out there if you’re not 150% prepared for this. I’m not taking any chances when it comes to your life.”

“Can’t there be a rule? No business before we’re fully dressed or something,” I nod towards Harry who sleeps in only his pants.

“You’d never get dressed if that were the case.” I laugh at how true that is. It’s weird how Harry just gets me.

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

“If I could assign someone else to this I would.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

“I know, but I need you to know I don’t want it to be you. Not anymore. I don’t think I ever did. I needed you to be the one but I didn’t want you to be if that makes sense.”

“I know,” I squeeze his hand. “But I’m glad it’s me.”

“You need to meet him soon. It doesn’t have to be a formal meeting but you’re going to need to frequent somewhere he loves. Build up some coincidental interactions. Let him notice you so it’s not as obvious. If you just show up somewhere and walk straight to him he’ll know it’s a trap. We need him to come to you. If it’s all his idea he won’t be as on edge around you.”

“Alright. I can do that.”

“You’ll need a back story too. A reason for never going there before. Something we can solidify with proof because he’ll definitely check into it.”

“Like moving? I moved from Ireland. We can use that in my backstory. The best covers come from the truth right? So I moved over recently. Just found the place.” Harry nods, taking in what I’m saying.

“It’ll work. We’ll have to get you some papers with more recent dating but Trad can make it happen.”

“Great. My fate lies in the hands of a man who hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Are you mad? I killed his brother.”

“Not exactly,” Harry looks at me.

“What do you mean not exactly? I did. I pulled the trigger and watched him die in my arms. You saw the tape. Hell you essentially gave me the order to do it.”

“That’s not what I meant. Yes, you killed Lark but he wasn’t really Trad's brother...”

“Huh?”

“I’m only telling you this so you can understand him better, alright? What I say can’t be repeated.”

“Alright. Swear.”

“I mean it. Every conversation that takes place between us stays between us Niall. That’s the only way we can do this.”

“Harry, you can trust me.” I look at him, trying to reassure him with my eyes that I’m on his side. I’m always going to be on his side. His secrets are mine, just like his thoughts, fears and even his enemies. I’ve chosen to inherit them the second I started to care about him.

“Trad is a clone,” Harry replies softly.

“Clones? Are you taking the piss right now? Trying to tell me you’re letting me onto some secret and then pulling me leg?”

“No, I’m serious. Trad is Lark’s clone.”

“How?” Bloody hell, Louis was actually onto something with that crap? I thought he was just talking shit.

“It’s something we’ve been working on for years. Lark was the first volunteer when we were sure we were finally onto something. He knew he was getting sick and instead of telling us he wanted to try cloning. He invested all his time into making it work in the beginning.”

“But he’s so much younger than Lark was.”

“He was born later than Lark.” Harry is speaking slowly, watching how I react to every word. I think he’s afraid I might go mad from it. I still can’t explain what I’m feeling. I don’t know if I actually processed it all yet. It’s a lot to take in.

“How old was Lark when he joined The League?”

“That’s what you’re focusing on? Out of everything I just said you want to know how old Lark was when he joined?”

“Well, yeah. In order for Trad to be his clone you said he was born at a different time. Does he age faster than a normal human? Was Lark just around that long?”

“He is a normal human. Ages just like the rest of us. Functions the same too.” Harry looks down, trying to think of what to say next. “Clones are humans. It’s something that people are going to have to get used to around here. Each day that passes we’re trying to add more success stories.” He takes a pause, watching to see if I’m keeping up. “Trad is completely human. He’s no less of a person than you or I. He’s still made up of DNA, it’s just Lark’s DNA. Lark wanted to be the first. He always did. He had been sick for a long time, born with it even, but never told anyone. He was good at keeping things to himself when he needed to be. It’s what made him amazing at what he did. He thought by figuring out how to clone someone he could continue to help The League long after he was gone…” Harry pauses again. “To answer your question on the age difference… look, Lark was born into The League.” Harry sits up straight, waiting for me to say something but I don’t. I just keep looking at him to continue. “Sometimes there’s what we like to call Blood League. It’s when you’re born into the system. Someone in your family, usually a parent, is a member so when you’re born you decide early on you want that life too. It’s all you know so it’s all you want to be. Your blood is The League’s blood. Even if you didn’t want to be in it there’s no escaping your connection. It’s why a lot of people in that situation just join. They don’t see another option. That was Lark. His father actually ran The League before he was killed.”

“So why didn’t Lark become the boss then? No offense. I just mean, you know, if his father was the head wouldn’t he have been the successor? I feel like he’d be the one most trusted then. Born into it. Blood and all that.”

“None taken,” Harry smiles. “He wasn’t the only Blood League member at the time.”

“You?”

“Me.” He pauses, collecting his thoughts. I imagine he’s trying to decide how to continue this story without telling me too much. “I didn’t know it for a while. In fact, I was being kept from it. I guess I’m not a true Blood League, they’re the ones who literally grow up walking these halls. I didn’t have it that bad. My father didn’t want me to have any part in it. Sent me and my sister off to live with my mum actually. I thought he just left us but he was trying to protect us. Funny innit?” He fakes a laugh, buying some time before explaining further. It’s interesting how I can pick up on things now. It’s so obvious what the motives behind his actions are.

“So how did you get involved?”

“My sister Gemma actually. She found out the truth. Started looking into it even when my dad told her to stop. No one could tell her what to do. Once she made up her mind on something there was no stopping her. She was a determined woman.”

“What happened to her?”

“She was killed. Her and our father both.”

“How?”

“The Knights.” He could barely get the words out. Suddenly his hatred for them made sense. Why Zayn’s betrayal stings that much harder. The organization Zayn chose over Harry’s friendship is the one responsible for ruining his family. And yet Harry still let Zayn go when they were face to face. I’ll never understand that undying loyalty.

“What happened?”

“All of Gemma’s snooping around blew my father’s cover. He was in the middle of working on a mission to take out one of the Knights that went rogue. They were dirty, working as a hired hitman on the streets. Killing anyone you paid him to with no reason or remorse. Innocent people. He needed to be stopped, but he went after Gemma. My dad tried to save her… it was a trap though. He ended up running into five members of the Knights, surrounding my sister tied to a chair. They didn’t stand a chance.” Harry looks down. I try to think of something to say, but words seemed to be failing me at the moment. I hold his hand, rubbing my thumb over his fingers. I could tell he wasn’t one for sympathy so I decided to follow logically. The story isn’t over.

“So you ended up joining to avenge them?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Apparently my dad was pretty high up. Him and Gemma… they were both pretty smart. They knew the game like none other so when I joined Lark’s father kept close attention on me. He told me one day he wanted me to be the number two to Lark. When he died though Lark couldn’t replace him. He refused to. Said it wouldn’t be right so he promoted me to it. That’s how I jumped up. He knew if his father trusted me and my family enough to want me to answer to him than I was good enough.”

“Shit Harry, I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t hold back any more. I don’t need to drown him in I’m sorrys but he needs to know someone is here for him. It doesn’t mean I pity him, it just means I care. I stand up and walk around to where he’s sitting, wrapping my arms around him. Harry doesn’t move so I rest my head on his shoulder. “I know that couldn’t have been easy to tell me. Thank you.”

“There’s no way out of The League Niall. Once you’re in it, you’re in it until you die. The upper levels who actually chose to have a family know that. That’s why they try to keep them separate. Far away in another country or something. There’s barely any Blood Leaguers any more. I was the last.”

“Have you ever thought about it? Having a family I mean.” I don’t know why I asked that to be honest. I know it has to do with our conversation but I’m hoping Harry didn’t take it the wrong way.

“No.” I feel Harry stiffen under my touch. His voice sounds a little deeper than before. Kind of like the one he uses when he addresses members or gives commands. “After I lost my family like that and joined for them I always swore I’d never fall victim to that life. I promised myself I would never fall in love or have a family of my own. I wouldn’t let someone mourn me because I chose to live a dangerous life and I wouldn’t put them in danger because of my selfish needs.”

“Good.” Harry turns to me, confused. I can tell he’s trying to figure out if I was serious or sarcastic. “I mean it. I swore the same thing to meself when I took the oath. We both share the same thoughts so we know what to expect. Neither of us can be hurt by the outcome then.”

“So it’s settled. Whatever this is, we’re not going to make it serious? There’s no future?”

“Hell no. It’s just some fun and good company. Someone to talk to about anything knowing it can’t leave the room. Whatever happens here stays between us.”

“Secrets in the sheets,” Harry smirks.

“Or out of them,” I pull Harry’s chair back a little and straddle him.

“We still haven’t talked about your mission,” he whines as I kiss his neck. “You’re trying to distract me.”

“Am I only trying?”

“I’m a skilled spy Niall. It’s going to take more than a few good touches to make me forget my agenda.” I shift my weight in his lap.

“That doesn’t feel like an objection you’re raising,” I whisper against his skin.

“How about this. If we can plan the start of your mission right now we’ll have the rest of the day to do whatever else you want.”

“The rest of the day?”

“It’s all yours.”

“Deal,” I smirk and get off his lap, walking back to my seat. I take a spoonful of cereal into my mouth and just stare at Harry. “So. What do we need to discuss?” Harry laughs. “What?”

“This has got to be the weirdest mission briefing of my life.”

“Really? I think it’s the only way to do them personally.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I need to brief someone,” Harry winks.

“You should,” I nod back, refusing to give him the reaction he was hoping for. “So, Zayn?”

“Right. We need to find a common ground between you two. He’s not the type of guy to go up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation for no reason. He’s more protective than that as I've said before. There needs to be something that draws him to you. Something strong enough that he can’t keep ignoring.”

“What, my blue eyes and dashing smile aren’t reason enough?” I smirk, watching Harry fumble for a reply.

“They are for me.” Good enough. “Zayn is more cautious though. He’ll hold back from it at first. The trick is to keep pushing it.”

“How do you suppose I do that?” I wait for a reply, eating the rest of my cereal.

“You play guitar don’t you?” I look at Harry, surprised he knows that. “I remember reading it a while back in your file… Guess it just stuck with me,” he explained.

“A bit, yeah.”

“You any good?”

“I dunno. Reckon so. I enjoy it,” I shrug. “Never really played it for other people.”

“Can you sing too?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Music can reach through all kinds of barriers. If you started frequenting a pub or café that Zayn goes to with a stage you’d catch his attention. He wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“Oh no. No way.”

“Niall,”

“I’ve never performed in front of people before,” I start thinking about sitting on some dodgy little stage with light in my eyes, turning beat red as someone yells at me to shut up.

“What about if you tried it out on me? Played me something and sang along? I’d be honest with you on how it sounded. I’d have to be. It’s a life or death mission.” Harry sticks his bottom lip out a little bit, pouting.

“Why this? Can’t there be something else?” I try to argue, hoping for a better way to get to Zayn. The last thing I want is to be the center of attention anywhere. Just the thought of people staring at me makes me want to vomit.

“He can’t resist it. No matter what he says or does, music is a part of him. He’s always writing and singing something. He’s good too. He’d want to talk to you about it if you put yourself out there like that. He’s always been too afraid to do it himself, and now he can’t.”

“So why can I then?”

“Because you aren’t as wanted as he is. You don’t have any enemies. No one knows you’re a member.”

“Right,” I shake my head thinking about what Harry wants me to do. “I don’t know.”

“You’re going to need to put yourself out there for this mission. I need to know you’re committed.”

“I am.”

“Then, come on, sing me a little something.”

“Fuck off,” I shake my head.

“Its just me. You can even close your eyes. Pretend I’m not here.” Harry smiles at me. “Do you want a guitar too? I have one round here somewhere. It’s nothing special but it can do the trick.”

“Fine. Just give me a moment.” I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I hear Harry get up and take a few steps out of the room.

“Here,” he says walking back in. I open my eyes to see him holding out an old acoustic guitar. I grab it, playing a few strings. It needs to be tuned badly. I play around with it, letting it calm my nerves.

“Okay,” I close my eyes once more. After three deep breaths I start to sing a song by one of my favorites, Ed Sheeran. I don’t know why but his song One just came to me and I couldn’t fight it. It’s weird singing like this. One on one. My hands easily move on the guitar, hitting every note perfectly. It wasn’t so bad with my eyes clothes, let me pretend it was just me singing like normal. I’ve never sang in front of anyone before in my entire life though. When I remember Harry is sitting across from me I feel my cheeks start to burn. This is humiliating. I’m shit. Why would I agree to this? Should’ve been up front about my lack of skill. I open my eyes, looking to the floor. “I’m sorry,” I quickly say as I finish. “It’s crap.”

“Niall,”

“I know. You don’t even have to say it. What’s plan B?”

“Niall, you’re incredible.”

“What?” I look over at Harry whose mouth is wide open. He shakes his head slowly.

“That was amazing.”

“What happened to being honest?”

“I am,” he laughs. “Seriously, your voice is beautiful. Like an angel.” I feel my cheeks burning even harder, looking away again. “And you’re also pretty cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” I shake my head. I hold his gaze, trying to fight the urge to turn away once more.

“Oh no?” Harry smiles. “Then why are you biting your nails?” I look down slowly to realize he’s right. When did that happen? I don’t remember bringing my hand up to my mouth. “You only do that when you’re nervous.”

“Stop using your file knowledge on me.”

“I can’t help it,” he shrugs. “Do you know how hot you are when you sing though?”

“Am I?”

“Irresistible.” Harry stands up and walks over to me. “I think we’ve figured out how you’re going to interest Zayn. Our work for today is done.”

“Is it?” I narrow my eyes. Harry leans down, kissing me softly.

“It is,” he whispers against my lips.

“You’re the boss.”

“Don’t you forget it.”


	12. Z Day

I wake up, staring at Harry’s side of the bed. It’s become a thing, spending every night with him. I think we’re just trying to get our fill in before I have to move out. That’s what we’ve realized. I’m going to need a crash pad for me to stay in. Some place with hidden security so that they know I’m safe at all times. Harry already had the cameras installed. They’re brilliant too. Can’t even see them.

It’s been two weeks since we decided I was going to start singing to gain Zayn’s attention. We’ve planned everything out to a T. There’s this little café Zayn goes to for lunch every day that will let me sing for tips. I went to them, auditioned and explained I was tough for money. They thought I could help with the ambiance of the place so it was win win. Whatever I make is mine. If I make anything. I won’t hold my breath on that front.

Tomorrow is my first day. Maybe that’s why I keep waking up. Tomorrow is the day I come face to face with the person I hate the most in this world. I reckon that’s enough to keep anyone up at night. I know Hate is a strong word to use on someone I’ve never met but I don’t give a shit. I hate what he’s done to the people I care about. If I could I’d take him out the second I saw him. I wish it were that simple. I can’t believe I’m going to have to sit through conversations and pretend to get on with him.

I watch as Harry turns over in his sleep. He’s such a peaceful sleeper. I wonder if anyone’s ever told him that. He looks so calm. So innocent. I think it’s the only time the world isn’t crushing his shoulders. Maybe that’s why he has such shit posture. The fate of everyone lies on him. That would be enough to break anyone’s back.

 

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Harry looks like a mother sending her first child to school or something.

“It’s too late to turn back now.”

“That’s not true. It’s never too late. We can pull you right now.”

“Stop,” I take Harry’s hand in mine and smile. “I’m ready.”

“I’ll always be a minute away from you. If you need me, I’ll be there. Before you can even blink.”

“I won’t.”

“Just remember our panic word.”

“Right, because tortoises come up in conversation so easily these days,” I laugh. Harry just shoots me a look. “I’ll be fine. It’s just the first day. Haven’t even seen the guys before. It’s not like he’ll pull out a gun and shoot me point blank in the café. I’ll be alright.”

“Nothing would surprise me with him anymore.” Harry lets out a long sigh. “I’ll be watching everything.”

“I know. You love stalking me,” I smirk again trying to make him laugh. I watch him fight it before losing. “There we go,” I kiss him quickly.

“Alright then,” he nods as Trad walks into the room. He takes a step back, distancing himself from me. We both know our relationship can’t be known by anyone. Not even our own men. If word got out Harry would lose his reputation. People wouldn’t take him seriously anymore. Some would even bring up the Zayn situation to question his judgment. It’s just our little secret. I actually like it better that way. It’s nice being the one who has a secret connection with Harry that no one else can understand.

“Trad,” I say acknowledging his presence. I’ve wanted to try to reach out to him since learning the truth but I don’t know how to. I essentially killed him. He’s a clone of Lark, which means he IS Lark, right? So I murdered an older him. Worst part is I can’t even let him know I know. Talk about fucked up.

I watch as Harry turns to Trad. “Is it all set up?”

“Every last bit. We’ll have eyes and ears on him every step of the way. We’re good to go when you are.”

“Guess that’s my cue,” I smile one last time. “See you guys on the flip side.” I turn around and head for the door. Harry doesn’t say a word but I know what he’s thinking. I walk out and head to the street. The building we were in is right across the café. Bunch of nice little flats in it. Trad pimped one out with high-class security measures so they can do some recon from there. I cross the street, guitar slung over my shoulder. To be honest I’m more nervous about performing than I am meeting Zayn.

I walk into the café and head to the counter. “Hey, is Ron here?” I ask the girl by the register.

“Yeah, one moment.” She disappears into the back. I take the time to look around, see how many people are there. The door opens and I see Zayn walk in. He’s older than the picture I still have of him. His hair is buzzed, nose pierced. He seems calmer. More connected with himself. More confident too. He strolls right over to the counter. The girl comes back out, smiling ear to ear. “Morning Zayn. The usual?”

“Thanks love,” he nods in appreciation. I watch him head back to a table, setting a laptop on it. I wonder what he plans to do while he’s here.

“Neil, right?” Ron walks up to me. “You’re the singer?”

“That I am,” I nod turning back to him. Zayn looks over at us, curious.

“Great to have you. We’ve been needing to liven this place up a bit. Whenever you’re ready, help yourself to it. Can I get you something to drink? On the house.”

“Can’t turn that down,” I laugh. “I’ll just have a tea with some milk.”

“You got it. I’ll bring it right over to you.”

“Cheers!” I turn around and walk towards the stage. Zayn repositions himself so that his back is in a corner. He’s also facing the stage dead on now. Talk about embarrassing. Great. I need to impress the shit out of him. I keep reminding myself of that, instead of going over how much I hate him. It’s easier this way. Ron places my tea on a table on the stage.

“If you need anything else let us know.”

“I will mate. Thanks.” I sit down on the stool playfully strumming a few strings on the guitar. I’ve spent the last two weeks playing this till my fingers bled. Not that I minded. I love playing it. It has a way of transporting me to a better life. I guess it’s now or never. I readjust the mic so it falls perfectly at my lips. This is for you Harry.

 

I actually got lost in the music. To be honest it was one of the best feelings in the world, playing for an audience like that. Never thought I’d get such a high from being the center of attention. Guess I really am about to live a double life. After bout an hour my set came to an end. “Thanks for putting up with me tonight,” I looked to the people sitting around. Zayn was still there. I forgot about him. Is that bad? I know he’s the entire reason I was here in the first place but I just cleared my mind of all thoughts the second I started to play. Our eyes lock. “I hope you enjoyed it,” I smile to him. He nods and gets up to exit quickly. After I finish packing up my guitar I run out and cross the street. I was dying to hear what Harry had to say. I jump up the stairs, two at a time, and knock at the door. We have a stupid knock to remember. Three taps. Two taps. Three taps. One tap. It’s so we know it’s one of us. Trad opens the door, looking at me. “Well?” I ask walking inside.

“He didn’t take his eyes off you,” Harry turns to me.

“What?” I place my guitar down on the table, leaving it there for the next time I need it.

“Zayn. Couldn’t stop staring at you the entire time. Don’t even think he looked at his computer once.”

“So it worked?” I couldn’t tell what Harry was feeling. I wished Trad would leave so I could ask him. I was so buzzed from that performance but now I feel like he’s about to scold me or some shit.

“Yeah. Like a charm.” He turns to face Trad. “We should head back.”

“That’s it?” I don’t know why but I expected something more than that.

“That’s it.” Harry walks outside and down the back door. It’s an exit only we have access to from the flat, takes us straight into a private garage so we can get into the car and leave without being seen. Trad follows and I tag along behind him. We get into the van and ride back to the compound in silence. As soon as we get there I jump out.

“Right then, if there’s nothing else…” I look to Harry waiting for him to interrupt me.

“There isn’t,” he nods.

“Then I’m off,” I turn and head towards the lift. What was his problem? Fuck it. I punch number five and go back over how amazing it felt on stage. I think I might have missed my calling. The doors open and I step out. I head towards my hall, stopping when I see someone familiar turn a corner. “Oi!” I yell out, running after them.

“Niall!” Liam breaks out into the widest grin I’ve ever seen. He throws his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. “How’ve ya been mate? Haven’t seen you in ages.”

“You alright?” I ask hugging him back.

“Yeah, real well thanks. What are you up to?”

“Nothing now. Wired though. You?”

“I was just looking for something to do,” Liam laughs. There was something off about it though. It sounded more like a forced ‘ha-ha don’t ask’ type of thing.

“You sure you’re good?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You’re just-”

“Lads!” Louis screams. “Fucking hell.”

“Louis!” Liam’s voice gets weird again. He smiles but tries to avoid looking at him.

“Were you off somewhere?” Louis asks me, ignoring Liam. That was really weird.

“No, just got back.” I answer, looking from one of them to the next. “Did you two have a spat?”

“Huh?” Louis turns back to Liam, and then faces me again. “No.”

“Right…”

“Just haven’t seen you in a lifetime is all,” Louis shrugs.

“Yeah I know,” I nod. “You both free?”

“I am. Liam?”

“Yeah. Yeah I think.”

“You think?” Louis narrows his eyes. “Either you are or you aren’t.”

“I am.”

“You sure?” Louis teases.

“Course I’m sure,” Liam shoves him a little harder than he probably meant to. His face immediately falls. “Can we go somewhere?”

“Go where?” I ask, wondering what he had in mind. I recently learned fivers could leave the compound of their own free will. Level four’s can leave when signing in or out, and will most likely be supervised but when you’re a level five you’re trusted. I never attempted to test it out though. Why would I when I spend all my time with Harry?

“Dunno. Somewhere.” Liam looks down. I got the feeling he wanted to talk about something but he was afraid to do it here.

“Yeah, I know a pub we can go to,” Louis chimes in, grinning. “An old family friend owned it. He’ll let us use the back room. Come on. Haven’t been there in ages.”

“Is that a good idea?” Liam questions.

“You’re the one who wants to go out,” Louis starts walking towards the lift. Liam and I just follow behind him.

“I do but an old family friend?”

“What, afraid he’ll blow my cover? Liam he doesn’t know shit about The League. Not like he’s going to out me in a pub. Besides if there’s any Knights around they can come at me on their own. I can take em.” I watch Louis throw a few punches into the air, thinking about what he just said. I don’t know why I never realized that, of course we can run into a Knight when we leave the compound. How do upper levels do it? Have a family and another life away from it? Anywhere they go, whenever they step out the doors they’re in danger. I guess that’s why the hack was so dangerous. The Knights now had a full catalog of what we look like. Well what the guys look like. Harry said I wasn’t in it. But Liam. Louis. Are they in danger too? I’m sure they were before to be honest. Zayn knows them. That must paint a target on their backs. How can they be so calm about leaving? “Niall? Think I scared the piss out of him,” Louis laughs.

“Hey,” Liam pats my shoulder. “He was only kidding. We’re not going to run into any trouble. Even if there was a knight out there they have no way of knowing.”

“Right,” I force a smile. If only they knew what I knew. I should tell them. It’s their lives on the line. How can Harry be so fine about keeping that to himself? Anyone who is a level five or higher is in danger because of his secrets.

“Think you can use a pint or two,” Louis shakes his head as we step out into the garage. “Your car still in spot 453?”

“Yeah, haven’t used it since we went for Thai.”

“You guys go out often?” I look to Liam, knowing he’s the only one who won’t bullshit me.

“I guess,” he shrugs. “Looked to invite you a few times but you’re never around.”

“Or avoiding us,” Louis shouts as he leads the way to Liam’s car. “Honestly mate, what do you do all day? Any time I come knock on your door there’s radio silence.”

“I guess I’m never there.” It’s the truth. I can’t remember the last time I spent more than a few minutes in my room. I spend all of my bloody time in Harry’s.

“Why is that?” Louis stops at Liam’s car. I recognize it from the time we had our long talk about Zayn. As we all get in I feel a wave a guilt wash over me. The last time I sat in here Liam was begging me not to judge Zayn and now I’m tricking him into trusting me so that I can murder him. My how things have changed.

“You know how it is,” I shrug, realizing I’ve waited too long before answering. Louis is never going to let it go now.

“No I don’t know. I’ve been here.”

“Yeah, well…” I let my voice trail off as I look out the window.

“Where am I driving anyhow?” Liam cuts in. We share a glance through the review mirror and I smile.

“I’ll direct you,” Louis answers. “Just take a left here.”

“Fuck Lou, give me more notice next time will ya?” Liam shakes his head, looking back at me again. “You alright?”

“I’m good,” I nod.

“Stop worrying about Horan,” Louis rolls his eyes. “You baby him too much.”

“I what?” Liam laughs.

“You do. He’s a grown man. A little sharp turn won’t kill him. And if it will, he’s in the wrong place anyway.” Louis looks ahead. “Right. Now. Turn right.”

“Shit,” Liam turns quickly again. “We’ll all be lucky if we make it there in one piece.”

 

“This it?” Liam pulls into a spot that probably isn’t really a spot but to honest we don’t care at this point. It’s been a crazy drive, full of sharp last minute turns and mistakes.

“Yeah, this is it,” Louis jumps out of the car. Liam and I follow him once again. We all walk inside. “Dan! My man!” Louis shakes the hand of the guy behind the bar.

“Been ages,” Dan replies. “Your mum is worried sick about you.”

“Always is,” Louis laughs. “Is the room in the back open?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dan nods. “Need some privacy?”

“Eh, you know how it is going out with the lads,” Louis winks.

“Course. Follow me,” Dan leads us into a room in the back, holding the door open. We walk in and sit down. The chairs are the most comfortable things I’ve ever seen for a pub. Definitely not what I expected. I started to think about what probably goes on in this room and decide it’s better to not know. “I’ll send back some drinks and chips yeah?”

“Perfect mate,” Louis smiles.

“Cheers!” Liam turns back to Louis as the door shuts. “He seems nice.”

“He is. So how you lot been?”

“Us?” I laugh looking from one of them to the other. “You guys just went out the other night. Have you gone more than an hour without being together? I swear you’re the only ones who don’t realize you’re one person.”

“Someone feeling a little left out?” Louis mocks me, pouting out his lip.

“We’ve tried to include you,” Liam reminds me.

“I’m not saying it to make you feel guilty. It’s a legitimate statement. Do you honestly not realize you practically blink in sync?”

“Fuck off,” Louis shoves me.

“You’re spending too much time alone. It’s making you crazy,” Liam nods. I just shake my head, smiling to myself.

“Whatever you guys say.”

“Anyone have any interesting stories?” Louis smiles as Dan places our drinks and food down. “Thanks. You’re a life saver.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles back and walks away.

“Right, so stories?”

“About what?” Liam asks.

“Whatever we’re not supposed to talk about but we all know we’re going to. That’s the reason you wanted to go out tonight isn’t it?” Louis takes a swig of his beer and watches as Liam starts to turn red.

“Is it that obvious?” He turns to me, hoping I’d back him up.

“Sorry mate, you are pretty transparent,” I shrug.

“I just thought we could all talk. Bout whatever we’ve been up to. For real though,” he smiles, shoving some chips into his mouth.

“Fuck yes. I love when you want to break the rules,” Louis grins. “Maybe you have spent too much time with me.”

“Don’t say it like that, it’s just some friends conversing.” Liam argues, trying to make it sound a little better.

“Conversing? Who the fuck talks like that?” Louis laughs. “You’re freaking out. What has you on edge so much?”

“I don’t really know. Just my mission I guess. Got a new one. Been working on it for about a week,” Liam shakes his head. “It’s opening my eyes up to a lot.”

“Like what?” Louis scoots closer to him.

“You’re not going to believe this,” Liam starts. He pauses, looking at me first.

“Is this really what you wanted to do? Sit here and betray The League by talking about our classified missions?” I hold his gaze, waiting for an answer.

“Betray The League? Are you for real? Leave it out, he’s not betraying shit. We’re all members of The League.” Louis shoots back. “If we want to talk about our missions I don’t see why that’s wrong. Not like one of us is going to run out and tell the world. We have each other’s backs. If we have to trust one another with our lives we damn sure can trust our mission secrets. Why? You gonna go run to Harry?”

“What?” I snap my head towards Louis.

“You heard me.”

“What’s that even mean?”

“I think you know,” Louis rolls his eyes. I know he doesn’t know anything about our relationship. Its just Louis being Louis. He always made jabs about how close Harry and I were, I know that, but now it feels more personal.

“Come on now,” Liam interjects with a softer voice. “No need to be rude, was only trying to let off some steam. If it makes you uncomfortable though Niall I don’t have to.”

“No, fuck him. If he’s uncomfortable he can leave.” Louis turns back to Liam. “Go on.”

“Lou-”

“No, he’s right.” I nod, facing Liam. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize to me,”

“I do. Louis was right. I trust you guys. Completely. This isn’t any different.” I look over at Louis and we exchange a subtle nod to one another. I was about to let my personal feelings for Harry cloud my judgment. That’s something I can’t let happen again. I know these guys. They trust me with everything. Always have. There’s no reason I can’t trust them. If they want to talk about their mission who am I to stop them? No one has to know what we talk about. Doesn’t mean I’ll volunteer any information about my mission though. There’s no rule that I need to partake in this. I’ll listen, give advice and throw in a joke or two when needed. The usual.

“Right, see, go on Liam.”

“Remember our conversation a while back? Louis was on again about clones?” Liam watches closely for our reactions.

“You about to admit I was right?” Louis smirks.

“I am actually.”

“What?” Louis jumps forward, almost knocking the beer out of Liam’s hand. “You serious.”

“I’ve been working on it. The science behind it is mad.”

“You’re creating clones?” My eyes widen, remembering what Harry said about Trad.

“Yeah. Turns out there are a few at The League too.”

“Who?” Louis looks like a little kid on Christmas morning. I think this is a dream come true for him.

“Well, you’re never going to believe this but Trad is actually a clone.” Shit. I guess Liam knows as much as I do.

“Trad? No fucking way. Is it Lark?” Louis shakes his head in disbelief as Liam nods. “Bloody hell. What a mindfuck.” He turns to me and his face falls. “Shit. The man you murdered is actually alive. I bet he wants to kill you.”

“Lark isn’t alive,” I remind him. “He’s dead. Trad is just another person.”

“He’s Lark.” Louis looks at me, then at Liam for help. “Back me up. You said your mission involves clones, right?”

“Yeah, but Niall is right. He’s not Lark, not exactly. They’re the same person; same DNA and all but the experiences are different. The memories aren’t there.” Liam starts to explain everything he’s learned in confidence. I tune him out, finishing off my drink. This wasn’t exactly how I expected the rest of the night to go. Who would’ve thought Liam would be working on the clones? This wouldn’t put him near the Zayn trail though. I guess that’s the true motivation behind it. I know Harry said he’d find something for him and Louis that will keep them safe but occupied. I wonder what Louis’s mission is now.

“Are you going to be a clone?” Louis sits back in his chair. I think about the question for a moment. Do they want to clone him? Is that the purpose of his involvement? It would make sense; he’s as honest and loyal as the come. I couldn’t think of a better man to clone.

“Nah, don’t be ridiculous,” Liam shakes his head. “I’m not worth it.”

“Are you smoking crack or something?” Louis actually sounds utterly offended by Liam’s response. “You’re the only one who should be cloned.”

“There’s no reason to clone me,” Liam replies softly. I want to grab him by the shoulders and yell at him. Why does he always think the worst of himself?

“Mate, you’re as good as they come,” I say, leaning closer to him. “The world needs more men like you in it.” Liam smiles wide, squinting his eyes.

“Alright enough of this,” Louis clears his throat. “Think you can clone me?”

“Oh fuck that,” I interject before Liam could answer. “That’s the last thing this place needs.”

“Fucking wazzock, I mean for me mum. It would give her a second chance and all that,” Louis never talks about his mom so this takes me by surprise. I know we can’t talk about our family but from the sound of it, and what Dan mentioned before, they must’ve been close.

“Lou,” Liam starts to think of what to say.

“I just meant I know she misses me. Must be hard for her,” he stops to shake his head.

“No I get it,” I interrupt before he can continue. “It makes sense.”

“See, the newbie wants me to be cloned too” Louis winks.

“Oh hell no,” I laugh. “That wasn’t me saying you should be cloned, I’m saying the reason makes sense. For someone else. Like me.” I think back to my own family. My poor old mum alone. I remember how hurt she was when Greg and I chose to live with our da instead of her. She took it more personal than we meant it. I wish I picked her. She deserved for me to pick her. Think that’s ultimately what led me here. I could never be the son she deserved. But if there was another chance. A new me, new experiences, a fresh start even. I know I’d be able to live up to her expectations.

“You too?” Louis’s voice catches me off guard. It sounded vulnerable, like a little child. I didn’t even know he could sound so innocent.

“Yeah,” I nod. “Yeah.” Maybe this cloning thing isn’t so bad after all. If Liam can perfect it we should all look into it. It’s an interesting theory. Being reborn ultimately. The way he described it, each situation shaping your choices, I wonder how many of us would’ve never even heard of The League, let alone thought about joining it.

“I think all of us are there,” Liam adds in agreement.

“Yeah,” I say again.

“Yeah,” Louis echoes.

“Yeah.” Liam ends it off. We all sit here in silence, letting our thoughts of home wash over us. At least that’s what I’m doing. I wonder how my parents are, how Greg is. I know we had our differences but he’s still my brother. I’d take a bullet for him. For all of them. I wonder if I’ll ever see them again.


	13. That's An Order

“Fuck Lou did you gain weight?” Liam groans as he carries him towards his room.

“Here,” I help take half of his body and Liam smiles to me.

“Thanks.”

“Think he’s out cold?” I look down at Louis.

“Seems to be,” Liam nods.

“But is it real? I figured he’d just pull this shit so we’d have to carry him all the way back to his room. Lazy son of a bitch.”

“You know,” Liam laughs, “that sounds like something he’d do.”

“Fuck off,” Louis whines.

“For real?” I turn to Liam who just keeps laughing. “I knew it. Unbelievable.” We get to Louis’s room and Liam opens the door.

“I got him from here if you wanna go pass out,” Liam smiles.

“You sure?” We both gently place Louis on the couch.

“Yeah, go on. My room is just across the hall. You still have quite a way to go.”

“Thanks mate,” I ruffle his hair and turn towards the door.

“You’ll be alright to get back?”

“Yeah, I’m golden,” I beat on my chest to show how great I am. Liam laughs again, eyes squinting.

“Yeah yeah,” he waves me off. I laugh, walking out the door but instead of turning left towards my room I go right. I don’t really know what happens to be pulling me this way but I’m not thinking much. Just acting. My mind starts jumping from one thing to the next. It’s pretty hard to keep up with if I’m being honest. First I think of Lark. I don’t know why or how he popped into my mind but I see his face the first day I met him. He was all smiles, from the get-go. Maybe that’s why we got on so well, we were able to keep up a lighthearted atmosphere. No matter how serious the situation got one of us cracked a joke that made the other bust a gut. He was a good man. I wonder if Trad is too. He should be, following the logic instilled on us from Liam. He’s the same guy, genetically, so their heart has to be the same. He doesn’t seem the same at all though. He’s not as friendly. In fact, I don’t think he even knows what a joke is. He’s so serious all the damn time. How does that happen? I feel my head start to pound trying to figure it out so I stop. Just in time too because I think I’m here. I blink a few times, realizing this isn’t my door I’m standing outside of but I don’t care. I knock and wait. I wonder if this is just a waste of time.

“Niall? Do you have any idea what time it is?” Harry rubs his eyes. I’d feel guilty about waking him up if he didn’t look so damn good. How does that happen? Wake me up in the middle of the night and I have a trail of drool running down my chin, hair like a hurricane hit and eyes glued shut.

“Sorry but I’m not sorry,” I walk in smiling.

“Are you pissed?”

“Me? Nah.”

“Pretty sure they can smell the alcohol on ya from level one. What did you do?”

“Went out with Liam and Louis.”

“Niall, you can’t do that.”

“What? Go out with the boys?” I narrow my eyes. Is he really telling me I can’t have a lads night?

“What if Zayn saw you?”

“I’d be more worried about Louis seeing Zayn,” I laugh.

“This is serious Niall. You can’t be seen with anyone from The League beyond these walls. I thought you knew that.”

“Oh come on. Zayn doesn’t just pop out at night for a few drinks with the lads. I think I’m safe.”

“It’s not just Zayn. By now Zayn has entered you into the system over there. Every member of the Knights knows who you are. People you’ve never seen before. They know your face. They know your cover name and they know you have a connection to Zayn. If any of them saw you in public with one of us you’d become the most wanted person here.” Harry takes a step closer, eyebrows kneaded together. “Niall, this is serious. When you took this mission I thought you knew there were sacrifices you’d have to make.”

“Do we have to talk about this right now?” I look up at him, pouting.

“I suppose you’re not going to remember any of this tomorrow anyway,” he shakes his head.

“Hey, I never forget.”

“Really?”

“Really. That’s newbie shit. I’m no beginner. I’m a pro. I can handle me liquor just fine.”

“I don’t think you even realized how pissed you are Niall,” Harry takes a step closer to me and places a hand on my head. “Come on, lets get you into bed.”

“Trying to get me into your bed huh? I must not be that bad then,” I wink and Harry laughs. He leads me down the hall towards his bedroom, holding an arm around my waist.

“Did you have fun at least?”

“I did. Loads of it.”

“Good.” Harry holds me still in front of the bed. “Here, sit. I’ll help take your shoes off.” I sit down and he kneels, pulling my socks and shoes off slowly. He keeps looking up at me, making sure I’m awake I think.

“It’s so bloody hot in your room Harry,” I groan and fall back onto the bed. “That why you sleep in your pants?”

“I usually sleep nude,” he chuckles. I sit up straight, staring at him. “You do?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Threw these on to answer the door.”

“What about all the other nights?”

“Dunno,” he shrugs. “Guess I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable all night long. Like I was pressuring you.

“Who says I’d feel uncomfortable? Fact I think we’d both be extremely comfortable.” Harry laughs at the way I say that, leaning in and kissing the top of my head.

“Alright, next time I’ll sleep true to form. Come on though. Lets get you to bed.”

“Next time? Why next time? There’s no better time than the present.”

“So you’re that type of drunk,” Harry laughs.

“What type?”

“The horny type.”

“Nah, I’m just always horny around you.”

“A charmer too. Come on Niall,” he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me up to the head of the bed.

“It’s really too hot though,” I complain with my eyes shut.

“Alright, here,” Harry takes my belt off and pulls down my jeans, throwing them to the floor.

“Who’s the horny one now,” I smirk.

“Still you,” he laughs. “Come here,” Harry leans over, helping me up and pulling my shirt over my head. “There. Better?”

“Much,” I tilt my head and kiss his neck.

“Okay, okay,” Harry laughs, gently laying me back down.

“I told you I’m good right now.”

“You did. I’m gonna get you a bottle of water. I’ll be right back.” He turns around and walks out the door. I sit there looking around the room. It’s such an empty room. You’d think he’d decorate it with something personal. I wonder if that’s part of Harry trying to remain emotionally unattached to anything. Even his room. Maybe he thinks if he starts to make it his own, he won’t be able to keep The League separate from his feelings. But he really hasn’t been able to. He takes everything that goes wrong to heart anyway. I say he might as well make the place seem like home.

 

“Bloody hell,” I keep my eyes closed, hoping I can fall back asleep.

“How are you feeling love?” I feel Harry’s hand pressed to my forehead. “Here, drink some water.” I open my eyes to see Harry leaning over to me, holding a bottle of water out.

“Thanks,” I take a few sips and sit up tall.

“Maybe we should skip today.”

“What? No, I’m fine. Golden. Never better,” I force a smile. “Just waking up is all.”

“Niall if you don’t feel good-”

“Stop it, I feel great.” I shake my head. “You making breakfast?”

“Me?”

“Well it is your place. Fair is fair.”

“Right,” Harry laughs. “So when are we staying in yours then?”

“Whenever you want Louis to find out about us because you know he’ll just walk right in.”

“You just need to lock your door.”

“Tried that. Just makes him more suspicious. I think he’s picked it a few times too. I swear I’ve come back after a night here to find it unlocked and shit moved about.”

“Fine, I’ll make breakfast. But only because I know you don’t feel well no matter what you say.” Harry gets up and walks around to my side of the bed.

“That’s not true, I could run the London marathon right now,” I argue. Harry laughs and kisses me.

“You should just settle for a shower as a start.”

“Why, you wanna join?”

“Maybe another time.”

“Are you saying I smell then? Prick. Here I thought you were hitting on me but you’re actually insulting me. Fuck off then,” I playfully push him back. Harry chuckles and turns to the door.

“Your food will be ready when you’re alive again. I’m thinking pancakes?”

“Sounds perfect.” I watch him walk all the way out of the room and lay back down again. Fuck. We hit it hard last night didn’t we? Bloody hell. I wonder how the guys are feeling. Louis seemed miserable last night. And I left Liam to deal with it. Crap. Now I really feel like shit. I get up and walk to the bathroom, knowing the sooner I get ready the quicker I can check in on them. If I can. Don’t I have a mission to continue?

As I step into the shower I start to remember what Harry was lecturing me about last night. He couldn’t have been serious. How would the entire make up of the Knights know who I was? I’m just a guy in a café that Zayn saw. We never even made contact. No words were exchanged. Why would he go through that much trouble to check me out? Maybe I am in over my head. I have no idea what I’m actually dealing with.

“Niall?” Harry calls out from the hall.

“Yeah?”

“You alright?”

“Yeah good. Be right out.” I run my hands through my hair, shaking those terrible thoughts away. I am prepared. Harry wouldn’t have sent me into this if I wasn’t… would he? I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. Guess it would’ve been smart to have a pair of clothes to change in to. “Hey Harry?” I open the door and walk towards the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“Do you have anything I can throw on?” He turns around and pauses, looking me up and down. “On second thought, I’m good like this,” I smirk.

“Yes you are… Uh sorry. Pancakes are done,” he turns around quickly.

“Are you embarrassed?”

“What?”

“How long has it been since you’ve had a naked man in your kitchen?”

“Not that long.”

“See, you talk a good talk Styles but I don’t know if you can walk.”

“Me?” Harry turns back around, playfully offended. “Me?!” He asks again, widening his eyes and making a face.

“You,” I take a step closer to him.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“So how long has it been?” I take another step closer, and another one. I place my hand on his arm leaning against him. Harry never brakes eye contact the entire time, just smiles.

“If you must know there’s never been another naked man in this kitchen before.”

“Cute. But not what I asked.”

“Do you really care when the last time I hooked up with someone was?”

“I just want to make sure I’m not going to be your first. That wouldn’t exactly stick to our casual vibe.”

“Oh, I can assure you you won’t be.” I stop for a second at the way he said that. Almost overly enthusiastic. So maybe Harry hasn’t been the shut-in I believed he was all this time. I start to think about the real Harry, his old life. I wonder who he’s been with in the past. If it’s always just been casual or if he’s ever actually fallen in love. “What about you?”

“Sorry?”

“When was your last hookup?” I laugh at the question. I don’t know why, I just asked him the same thing, but it seems absurd that he would ask me. I wasn’t the same as him, I actually had a life once upon a time.

“Right before my first day here to be honest,” I answered, realizing he was waiting.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Figured it would be my last for a while.”

“Suppose it is difficult to find someone here. Probably the biggest complaint in The League.”

“It’s not that hard,” I press my body against Harry’s. I watch him bite his lip as I push my hips into his.

“I beg to differ.” He runs his hand down the front of my body, opening my towel. I watch it fall to the floor as Harry moves his hand between my legs. I feel his fingers press against me. “It’s definitely hard.” I moan at his touch.

“Please tell me we have time.”

“We have time,” Harry murmurs. He presses his forehead against mine, holding my gaze.

“Promise?” My hips jerk forward, feeling his hand slowly move up and down my cock.

“I’ll fucking make time,” he groans as I pull his pants down. I brush my lips against his.

“The perks of fucking the boss.”

“That’s right,” Harry moves his hands onto my hips, gripping them. “I am the boss,” he flips me around so fast that the room spins for a few extra seconds. I feel his body pressed against mine, his lips on the back of my neck.

“You are,” I moan as his fingers caress my ass. He pushes me forward, my arms resting on the table to hold me up.

“Don’t fucking forget it.” He presses his index finger teasingly between my ass cheeks.

“Is that an order?”

“It is. And here’s another one,” he bites my shoulder. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

“Hurry,” I whisper as I feel his touch leave my body. I look down at my erection, moving my hand to it slowly. I wrap my fingers around myself, closing my eyes.

“Already missing me?” Harry comes up behind me, kissing down my spine.

“Can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Good,” I feel his lips on my ass. “You won’t be able to for a long time.” His tongue presses at my asshole, playfully teasing me.

“P-promise?” I stutter, thinking of what’s to come.

“Promise,” he pulls back and stands up. I feel his fingers take over where his mouth left off, freshly coated in lube. I figured that’s where he ran off to. I bite my lip as he pushes his index finger inside me, slowly moving all the way to his knuckle. “It has been a while,” he whispers into my neck.

“Few months.” I feel his other hand hold my hips in place. His finger slowly moves out of me.

“It’s a good thing this place is soundproof,” he purrs into my ear, pushing two fingers inside me. I groan in reply. Harry bites my ear, adding a third finger quickly. I fall onto my forearms, not ready for him. Something tells me he’s going to be the best and worst fuck of my life. He’s going to ruin me. I can’t wait.

The buzzer goes off and Harry just laughs. “Not today Trad,” He pulls his fingers slowly out of me, holding them still so only the tip of his middle finger is inside.

“You’re not going to answer that?” I try to fake some disappointment in him.

“The only thing I’ll be answering is your screams for more,” he grunts, thrusting his fingers back inside me. He pushes them all the way in, moving them as far apart as he can. I look down to my cock, watching how it moves as my hips rock with Harry’s touch. Before I can tell him I’m ready I feel his fingers leave me completely. Any trace of him on my body is gone for a brief second, leaving me to wonder if he actually was going to answer the door. I hear a cap pop open and turn around to watch him rub some lube onto the tip of his cock. I wonder how much he was touching himself while his fingers were inside me, getting us both ready. Next time I want to help him. Feel more of him. I turn back to the table I’m leaning on, bracing myself for him. Harry grabs my hips sternly, thrusting his cock inside me. I gasp, jolting forward. My eyes close as he pulls out to the tip, ready to thrust harder this time. Quickly Harry starts setting a faster pace, hitting different spots each time. I wait, knowing he’s getting closer.

“Fuck,” I scream as he hits my prostate on his thrust. Each time he thrusts back into it, I feel it getting harder. Each time he penetrates me I start to feel the intensity build inside me. I focus on my cock, the pain and pleasure of it going untouched. Before I can figure out how to rearrange my weight I feel Harry’s hand grip me, moving in time with his thrusts. I moan, his cock hitting my prostate on the way inside and out of me. He’s thrusting so hard the table moves an inch, pushing me forward with it.

“Shit,” he groans, trying to rearrange himself. He starts pounding harder inside me, losing the rhythm he built up. I grab onto the sides of the table, bracing myself. Waves of fire move through the pit of my stomach. I feel him throbbing inside of me. I close my eyes. Harry bites down hard on my shoulder, playing around with the tightness of his grip on my cock. I try to hold off but I can’t fight it any more. I feel him thrust into my prostate again, cuming inside me as he does.

“Fuck Harry.” I scream, feeling my own release shoot out of me. My knees start to shake. Harry pulls out of me and collapses against me, gasping for air. I fall down onto the table. Our weight hitting hard causes the table to jolt forward again.

“Shit,” I whisper as we slam to the floor, Harry landing next to me.

“At... at least… it’s carpet” He stutters out, still trying to catch his breath. I feel him reach out and pull me onto him. My head hits his chest, feeling his heart racing. I close my eyes, unable to say anything else. That was definitely worth the build up of sexual tension ever since I laid eyes on him. Nothing like a real, good, quick fuck to get things going. Next time we’ll be able to actually have some fun with it. Make sure there’s plenty of time in the schedule to take it slow, speed it up, play some games. I didn’t realize how bad I needed it though. It’s not the same on your own.

“So, this mean you’ll finally sleep nude from now on?” I ask after a few seconds. Harry laughs, kissing the top of my head.

“Absolutely.” We just sit there, still trying to come back down to reality for a few minutes. Occasionally I feel Harry run a hand down my arm or kiss my head. He’s definitely an after sex cuddler. I can’t say I’ve ever had that urge before today. Normally, once I can stand again, I’d go straight to the shower and then take off but Harry is inviting. His body is warm. It makes it impossible to stand up and walk away.

The buzzer starts to go off again. “He never gives up does he?” I keep my eyes closed.

“He’s just punctual. We were supposed to meet with him twenty minutes ago. He was just a bit early last time.”

“What?” I sit up straight, feeling a hint of pain shoot through me. Fucking hell.

“We should be down by the café right about now,” Harry shrugs. He sits up slowly and looks around. “Fuck, we still need to clean up and get dressed before I can cancel on him.”

“Cancel? Cancel what, the mission?”

“Just today. We’re clearly not going to make it. It’s all right. We can just go back tomorrow.” Harry offers a small smile. I stand up and walk over to the sink.

“We’ll make it,” I wet my towel from earlier and start to wipe myself down.

“Niall, it’s okay.” Harry shakes his head. “It’s not the end of the world if you miss a day.”

“I thought I had to keep showing up. Constantly show up in Zayn’s life. Wasn’t that the plan?”

“Yeah but every day isn’t necessary. You can skip it every now and then.”

“How’s that stay true to my story? I’m supposed to be in dire need of cash. That’s why I dedicate an hour of my time to sing in some dingy café.”

“Niall calm down,” Harry walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder.

“You didn’t want me to go today anyway.”

“Niall.”

“Is that why that happened? Did you fuck me so I wouldn’t go?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” I look at him, trying to read the expression on his face but I can’t. He truly has me stumped.

“You think I’d do that?”

“I think you tried to talk me out of it from the moment I opened my eyes. I asked you if we had enough time. You said yes.”

“I said I’d make sure we did.”

“Even if it meant shutting it down for today.” I walk past Harry and throw the towel onto the floor.

“I didn’t think it mattered that much to you.”

“Course it does. It’s my mission Harry, I take it seriously. I know how important it is for you. Which is why I don’t get why you’re not.” I finish cleaning up and walk towards the bedroom to get my clothes. I throw on what I was wearing last night and walk back out. I see Harry leaning against the counter in his pants, eating. “I’m not canceling. I’m going with or without you guys.”

“No you’re not.” Harry’s voice gets deeper as he looks straight at me. “You’re not going today. That’s an order.”


	14. Same Time Tomorrow

I step off the lift, shaking my head. How dare he order me like that. Is he fucking serious? I get that he’s my boss but that was not an order from an outside party. It was a command by someone who was clearly letting his feelings cloud his judgment. There was no reason to postpone today’s run in with Zayn. Absolutely none. I was fine. Better than that. I’m good to go.

“Whoa, you alright?” Liam asks, walking down the hall. I don’t reply so he approaches me slowly. “Niall, are you okay?”

“No,” I shout. Immediately I look up at him, shaking my head. He doesn’t deserve my anger. “I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… Actually…” I look around the hall for a moment before taking a step closer to him. I give him a hug, whispering, “Can I ask a favor?”

“You can ask me anything,” he whispers back.

“Can I borrow your car? Just for an hour or so. I’ll have it back I swear-”

“Of course,” Liam pulls back looking at me. “Any time.” He reaches into his pocket and subtly pulls his hand back out. Naturally he reaches his hand out, shaking mine and passing the keys to me.

“Cheers mate. I can always count on you.”

“Just promise we’ll go out later, yeah? Drinks on me?”

“Yeah. If you’re feeling up to it.” I take a few steps back towards the lift. “Speaking of feeling, how’s Louis? You seen him? He alive?”

“Yeah,” he laughs back. “Wishing he wasn’t this morning though. He was shit. Still pissed when I left him.”

“Yell hello at him for me will ya?”

“Absolutely,” Liam smiles and waves as the doors close. I go down to the garage level, hoping Harry’s too busy trying to create some bullshit cover to Trad about why he’s canceling today to be stalking me on the monitors. I easily find Liam’s car and hop in. As I turn the key I start to wonder if I’m being the irrational one, letting my feelings cloud my judgment, but I can’t see that being the case. I swore an oath to The League. To this mission. Every single day I was going to go to this café, sing and try to get Zayn to acknowledge me. If I took today off I’d be going back on my word. I’m not wrong on this one.

I pull up to the building across the street, using the private garage. Quickly, I run inside and up to the room. Thank god I have a key. I use it to get inside, spotting my guitar on the table right away. Good. I pick it up and run back out. If I move fast enough I might still catch him.

I walk through the doors just as Zayn closes his laptop. I watch him stand up, smiling at the girl behind the counter with a nod as if to say thanks.

“Neil, didn’t think you were coming today!” Ron walks over to me. Zayn immediately turns around to see me heading towards the stage.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Shit morning. Can I still go on?” I look at him, trying to look as sorry as I could. He laughs and nods his head.

“Course ya can. You need something to drink? Another tea?”

“That would be lovely, thanks.” I get onto the stage, sitting down. I look up at Zayn as I open my guitar case to find that he’s staring right at me. He sits back down, leaning against the wall. Shit. Is he staying just for me? I rest my guitar on my legs, strumming a few stings blindly. Relax Horan, you wanted this. This is good. You have him right where you want him.

 

As I finish playing an hour’s worth of covers I watch Zayn stand up. He smiles at me, walking my way. “That was good.”

“Thank… you.” I close my eyes embarrassed, tightly squeezing them shut. I hear Zayn laugh.

“Same time tomorrow then?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.” I gesture to the stage and he nods.

“Me too.” He waves and heads towards the door. “Thanks guys,” he calls to the counter.

“Bye Zayn,” the woman behind the counter calls back. She clearly has a huge crush on him. It’s completely obvious. Poor girl. I should probably learn her name but I can’t be bothered. I watch the door shut behind Zayn and look down at my stuff. I did it. He initiated contact. It was brief and nothing monumental but that means Harry was right. Zayn looked me up and I passed the online test. This is a good sign.

Fuck, Harry. He probably knows by now I left. He can’t be mad when he learns what happened though. This is progress. It’s a step closer to the final outcome. As soon as I succeed we can just go on being happy. Nothing to worry about. I walk out of the café and head back to the flat across the street. As I open the door Harry is standing there, staring at me. I watch his jaw clench, shutting the door behind me and waiting for him to start yelling. But he doesn’t. We both just stand there staring at one another, tension building. I break eye contact, looking around to see where Trad is. “He isn’t here,” Harry replies, reading my mind.

“Right,” I nod. “Did you see anything?”

“You could’ve been killed.” Harry’s voice is emotionless. Stern. Scary even. This version of him reminds me of my early days as a potential. This is how people think of him. Cruel. Vindictive. Ruthless.

“I was just singing in a café.”

“With Zayn. What if he knew?”

“How would he have known?”

“That’s not the point,” he screams louder. I don’t think I’ve ever heard his voice get that loud. It actually sends shivers up my spine. “You disobeyed a direct order.”

“One made based off your emotions and not you judgment.”

“Excuse me?”

“Harry there was no reason for us to postpone today.”

“We were running late.”

“And you didn’t want me to be here.”

“Are you questioning my choices? I am your boss. I think you’ve forgotten that part. Whatever we are, whatever we were doing, that never changed. You need to listen to me when it comes to your mission.”

“Harry he talked to me. Zayn came over, on his own, and complimented my singing. This is all we could’ve hoped for.” I watch Harry shake his head. Why is he being like this?

“I don’t think this is a good idea anymore. I’m pulling the plug.”

“You’re what?” I look at him in disbelief. “Like hell you are.”

“I’m the leader of The League, not you. If I want to terminate a mission I will. If I want to terminate a target I will.”

“If you want to terminate me you will, right? That what you’re getting at?” I laugh at the absurdity of this entire conversation. Harry’s mouth falls open, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Niall,” he shakes his head. “I would never even imply that.”

“You can’t say that. You’re the boss. The head. If you need to terminate me down the road you will.” I watch Harry turn around, looking out the window. I think about taking a step towards him but decide against it. I walk over to a chair in the corner and sit down. I drop my guitar case onto the floor and take in a deep breath. “I won’t be another Zayn to you.”

“A what?” Harry turns back around, confused.

“I’m not going to cause you to bend the rules or second guess your gut. You need to promise me right here and now if we ever get into some situation where you know you need to pull the trigger on me you will.”

“We won’t.”

“Harry-”

“You’re not him.”

“I’m not? Because right now, today, you haven’t been the you you needed to be. I didn’t see Harry Styles the leader of The League the way I should’ve. I saw Harry Styles, the man who I’ve spent every moment with for weeks. Someone too close to be able to make a proper call on the mission. You weren’t he boss you needed to be. I’m making you second-guess things. You’re too close to me. You’re emotionally involved all over again. ”

“I’m not emotionally involved.” I watch him swallow hard, trying to convince the both of us.

“I’m not saying you’re in love with me or that you want to have my babies,” I laugh trying to add some much needed humor, “I’m saying you care too much if I live or die.”

“I always have.”

“And it almost cost us this mission. If I didn’t show up today I would’ve needed another story. Another complication to my cover. If you pull the plug the threat is still out there. For you, for Liam, for Louis. For the entire League. You said so yourself they’re all at risk because of Zayn. Every day you keep him out there you let that grow.”

“I rushed you.” This is the first time I clearly hear doubt in Harry’s voice when talking about my ability to pull this mission off. “You weren’t ready for this.”

“That’s not true.

“It was way too early. I asked too much of you. You never should have had to take this on.”

“But I did.” I stand up and walk towards Harry slowly. Each step closer I take I wait to see if he’ll react but he just keeps watching me. “You trained me well. Lark trained me well. I know you believe that. I’m not going to screw this up.”

“You’re emotionally invested in this too,” he whispers. “You want to go in there and succeed so badly that you did it without backup today. Against my orders. Whether they were right or not, you disobeyed a direct command Niall. You can’t do that again. You could’ve cost yourself your life.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I wrap my arms around his waist, leaning my forehead against his. “We were both wrong.”

“I’m the boss. I’m never wrong.” Harry smirks, causing me to laugh. “But if I were wrong…” he tilts his chin towards me. “I’d feel like crap the second you walked out my door. Would’ve chased after you too if I wasn’t just in my pants. Trad has access to the security cameras on that floor you know.”

“We could’ve given him a show,” I winked, kissing him softly. “I regretted it too. I know I’m stubborn but I never wanted to go against you.”

“I know,” he kisses me.

“Today has been a total mind fuck.” Harry laughs, nodding in agreement. “We don’t do anything small do we?”

“If it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it,” he presses his lips against mine again, wrapping his arms around me.

“Least we got our first official fight over and done with.”

“Is that what you’re calling it?”

“What would you call it?”

“Creative indifference. Sounds better.” I laugh against his lips, kissing him one last time before pulling back.

“Alright, our first official creative indifference.” I wink. “We should probably head back. Before your other boyfriend gets worried he’s gone ten minutes without your approval on his work.”

“Hey, he’s a good man.” Harry tries not to laugh.

“I bet he is.” I nod. Harry moves his hand to mine, interlocking our fingers. I smile back at him as we walk to the door. This is new. Almost coupley. It’s a good thing we don’t get too many opportunities to hold hands like this, it might give off the wrong idea about what we really are.

 

I wake up in Harry’s bed, smiling over at him. I’m going to weirdly miss this. Is it normal to grow attached to seeing someone’s face as soon as you open your eyes and not be freaked out about it? Because for the first time in my life instead of being flooded with thoughts of terror and needing to flee I actually feel at peace. Like seeing his dumb mug first thing in the morning is all I need to know it’ll be okay today. I turn onto my side, watching him slowly breathing. Is this creepy? Of course it’s fucking creepy, I’m literally watching him sleep. When did I become like this? I lean over, softly kissing the top of his head before sitting up… fuck. Why did I need to do that? Who the hell am I? I shake my head, swinging my feet off the side of the bed. I smile down at the pile of clothes on the floor, thinking back to last night. There’s nothing like some good ol fashion make up shagging. Or whatever the response to a creative indifference would be… I stand up, stretching before walking towards the door.

“Trying to sneak out on me?” Harry calls out, voice groggy.

“Nah not this time. Thought about making you some breakfast to be fair.”

“Really?” He smiles, eyes still shut. “Should I believe that?”

“Course you should” I scoff, mocking hurt. “How dare you question my motives.”

“Just in shock is all,” he opens his eyes, looking at me. He looks buzzed almost. Eyes drooping down, smiling like a lunatic. So why do I automatically smile back?

“I happen to be a great cook,” I reply when I can finally stop thinking about how good he looks. I don’t know what’s going on with me this morning. I must be coming down with something.

“When have you ever cooked?”

“All the time when I was younger. Only way I’d eat growing up. After me mum moved out it was just me and my brother for dinners. Da always had to work late nights. Taught me how to fend for meself.”

“Really?” Harry sits up, looking at me differently.

“What? You don’t know everything about me?” Harry laughs and shakes his head.

“I guess your file was missing a few memoires of yours. I’ll have to fire somebody about that.”

“I’m sure you will,” I laugh.

“It’s nice though.”

“Firing someone?”

“No,” he shakes his head slowly, “still having things to learn about you. I like that.”

“You’re mushy in the mornings.”

“Says the guy who kissed the top of my head before getting out of bed,” Harry smirks.

“You felt that did ya?”

“You should know by now you can’t get anything by me.”

“I guess not,” I laugh, “Alright, well you’re up. Guess you can cook now,” I wink. Harry pouts and looks at me with his puppy dog eyes.

“Trad Gifton is here to see you,” the voice echoes through the room.

“Bloody hell, this guy,” I shake my head.

“Fuck me,” Harry jumps up, looking around the room. “Stay here,” he pulls on some jeans and walks out towards his door. I don’t think he realized he left the bedroom door open.

“Did we wake you? Lazy arse,” I hear Louis say. Why is Louis here with Trad? Do they hangout now?

“Uh, yeah… Sorry I was up late deep in work.” Harry seems caught off guard. I bet he’s trying to figure out why they’re together too.

“Neil?” Trad asks. I laugh to myself at how accurate that is. I don’t hear Harry reply so I assume he just shook his head.

“Who the fuck is Neil?” Louis asks. I can picture the look on his face. He hates when people know shit he doesn’t.

“We’ll make this quick then,” Trad starts, ignoring Louis’s question. That’s smart. I bet he’s going to pester him about it all day now. “We’ve been sorting through all of the notes that Lark left and I think we’re onto something.” Trad explains. I wonder if that’s weird for him, talking about Lark. Even just mentioning his name has to be some sort of a mindfuck. How do you come to terms with the fact that you’re a clone? That has to involve some intense therapy.

“It took forever. He has such shit penmanship,” Louis whines. I smile thinking back to Lark’s writing. I miss that. It was bloody awful. I don’t even know how he could read it. I heard once that messy handwriting is a sign of intelligence though. That would make sense.

“What did you find?” Harry sounds intrigued. He obviously knows what they’re talking about. This must be Louis’s mission. Whatever he’s been working on nonstop. Poor Trad, having to be forced to spend so much time with him. I can’t picture them getting on at all. They’re just so different. Trad probably thinks Louis is a pain in the ass. Never shutting up, always on about something. Especially now that Liam told Louis about clones. I bet he’s dying to get Trad to slip up and admit what he is. I’d bet my life he keeps making references, dropping hints even. I’m sure its driving Trad mad. I really feel bad for the poor guy.

“I found the calculations for the defense system and-”

“We found,” Louis interrupts, correcting him. I shake my head, smiling. Louis never can let someone steal the light from him.

“We found.” Trad repeats, annoyed. Yup. They definitely hate their mission. “And I’m pretty sure we can easily rebuild it. That wouldn’t be the issue.”

“But can you fix whatever went wrong to destroy it?” Harry asks. So that’s what they’re doing. They’re trying to recreate whatever system Lark had installed to help them destroy the Knights that broke in. Thank god, that’s definitely useful to have installed. Who doesn’t feel better knowing there’s a security system that can literally wipe out all of your enemies if you’re ever under attack? I still want to know how that works though. I wonder if they’ll explain it.

“That’s just it,” Trad starts.

“Fucking dipshit did it,” I hear the annoyance in Louis’s voice. The only time I hear that is when he’s talking about Zayn.

“What?” I picture the confusion on Harry’s face, still half asleep to begin with. I bet if this happened an hour later he’d understand.

“It was Zayn,” Trad clarifies. “He knew about it. Hacked the system when he was here to make a few changes. He did it so well even Lark couldn’t figure out what went wrong.”

“How?” Harry sounds worried now. I wish I could rub his back for reassurance. Whatever Zayn did he’ll never do again. Harry should know that. He can’t hurt him anymore. I’m making sure of it.

“Must’ve been when he was wondering around up here,” Trad almost whispers. I could barely make that all out, straining to hear him.

“What was all that shit bout anyway?” Louis asks. “Should’ve known right then he was a traitor.”

“How did he know about it though?” Harry ignores Louis. I imagine that happens a lot on these briefings. He’s probably the only person here who can get away with it too. Louis knows there’s still a line he can’t cross, no matter how close they all once were.

“That’s the real mystery,” Trad answers.

“Right, well thanks for sharing. Go ahead and rebuild it, set it up and even try to add a stronger security defense so no one else can mess with it. I just want it to be the two of you who have access to any mechanical changes to it.” Harry returns back to sounding sure of himself.

“We’ll get right on it” Trad says.

“Aye aye captain,” Louis sarcastically adds. I hear the door shut and wait a few seconds before walking out of Harry’s bedroom.

“Are you okay?” I walk closer to him, watching his face scrunch up. “I heard everything… I’m sorry if it was classified but the door was open and-”

“Zayn shouldn’t have had access to it,” Harry interrupts.

“What?”

“The only person who could pull it up was Lark. That’s it. Unless he put in his code, scanned his hands and eyes, and even had his blood tested the system wouldn’t unlock. No one could touch it. In order for Zayn to mess around with it Lark had to have accessed it for him.”

“No,”

“He was a traitor too.”

“Shut the fuck up. This is Lark you’re talking about.”

“I know,” Harry sounds so far away.

“There has to be another explanation.” I yelled that louder than I meant to. Lark couldn’t be a traitor though. This is Lark. He was born into this. His father ran The League. He cloned himself to keep helping. He created the security system to begin with. Why would he do all of that if he were a traitor?

“There can’t be.”

“He created the damn thing Harry. Why would he do that to allow someone to destroy it? Maybe he left it up. Left it open to go take a wee or something and Zayn walked in.”

“Niall-”

“No. I refuse to believe that Lark would do that.”

“That doesn’t mean he didn’t. I never thought Zayn would and look how that turned out.”

“That’s different. Lark isn’t Zayn. He wouldn’t turn his back on us. He loved The League.”

“I thought the same about Zayn.”

“Stop comparing them. It isn’t true.”

“I need to pull Trad.”

“What?”

“He’s a liability. If Lark was compromised, Trad may be too. What if the entire reason he wanted a clone to pick up where he left off wasn’t to help us but to finish taking us out from the inside?”

“Harry, do you hear yourself right now? He made you the leader. Why wouldn’t he have seized that for himself if he wanted to ruin The League? Would’ve been a lot easier to have access to everything and to destroy us if he was in charge.”

“Maybe Zayn turned him.”

“Stop it. I don’t want to hear anymore. Lark was loyal. He was blood. You said so yourself. The League was in his blood. You trusted him with your life. He could’ve killed you at any moment.”

“He wanted to die.”

“What?”

“When he came to me to be a mentor, he wanted to die. I thought it was because he was sick but was that all just a lie? Did he know what was coming? Was he just trying to get out before what he did came to light?”

“I’m not listening to this,” I shake my head and turn around to walk away.

“You think I want to believe it?”

“Then don’t! Just because Trad told you something you’re suddenly going to believe the worst of Lark? He was a good man.”

“What am I supposed to believe? I have a duty to protect everyone here. If there’s even a hint of a suggestion that someone is a traitor I have to go with my gut and believe it.”

“This isn’t just anyone, this is Lark.”

“I know.”

“I knew him. Well. I spent all of my bloody time with him.”

“I know.”

“He wouldn’t have done that to you. To me.”

“Is that what this is about?” Harry takes a step closer. “I get it, Niall. I’ve been there. Not wanting to believe someone you were close to could betray you like this but-”

“NO” I yell back. “Stop comparing Zayn to Lark. They’re not the same. Why the hell would Lark have created a system to wipe out the Knights to begin with if he was one of them? Why would he have activated it that night when you would’ve been killed if he didn’t want to save The League?”

“I don’t know.”

“It doesn’t make sense. Until someone shows me proof, hard cold proof that Lark did that I don’t believe it. And you shouldn’t either.”

“I don’t want to but it’s my job,” Harry looks down, pained with each word he spoke.

“Lark believed in you. He believed in me. He’s the reason both of us are where we are. We owe it to him to believe in him. So we watch Trad closer, make sure he’s as pure as Lark was, and we uncover the truth. We owe it to him.”

“You’re right,” Harry clears his throat, nodding his head. “We do. We will. Lark’s name won’t be soiled. Not as long as I’m around.”


	15. Watch Your Six

“Well, what do you think?” Harry asks as I walk back towards the door of my new flat.

“Bit shit innit?” I cock my head to the side. Harry laughs, nodding in agreement.

“You’re supposed to be tight for cash, remember?”

“Yeah but no one is really going to ever be in here. Long as the outside looks right this could be a palace.” I place my hand against the wall. “Was the peeling paint necessary?”

“You never know, someone might come in here. Everything needs to follow your story.”

“Right, Zayn is just going to come over for chips and a pint,” I laugh. Harry looks at me, waiting for me to be finished.

“Eventually,” Harry reminds me.

“Yeah but that’s not for ages. I should have a decent crash pad before that.”

“Sorry, there’s only room for one crash pad in the budget.”

“Right,” I laugh. “Shouldn’t there be personal things up? Like a picture at least? Make it believable.”

“Yeah. Do you have any?” Harry’s eyes soften, stepping closer to me. He almost sounded hopeful. “If not Trad can make some up for you like we normally would.”

“I have one. Been keeping it in me wallet with my new ID.” I pull it out, looking at the photo of my mum.

“You can keep it on you if it helps,” Harry looks down at the picture. “Your mother?”

“Yeah. She’s a saint, let me tell you.” I laugh thinking back to growing up with her. “I didn’t deserve her.”

“Niall,”

“No, it’s true. I was a little shit. Never listened. Left her all alone.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry rubs my back and I shake my head.

“For what? We’re supposed to forget all that crap.” I slap the picture down on the wooden table, watching it rock back and forth.

“We can get a frame for it.”

“Why? I’m supposed to be struggling. I wouldn’t buy one.”

“What about a handmade one? It can look like you made it as a child.” I just shrug in reply, looking around again. So this is where I actually have to live now? Seems like a shit deal. No more waking up next to Harry, kissing his head while we both pretend it didn’t happen. That’s become our routine lately. Something I really don’t want to come to an end. “Niall,” Harry’s voice is softer. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” I shake the thoughts out of my head. “Never better,” I clear my throat and turn to face him. “Is it safe for you to be here?”

“For today. But I won’t be back. Once Zayn finds out this is where you live no one else can be seen near it.”

“Right,” I nod. “Lets get out of here then. I’m not ready to spend every minute in here.”

“Okay,” Harry smiles. He wraps an arm around my waist as we start walking out the back door. It’s actually pretty cool how they set it up, hidden behind a dodgey bookshelf. You would never suspect it. Leads you right down to the car park. When we reach the door Harry drops his arm from me. He smiles, pulling up his hood. “Ready?” I just nod and push the door open. I don’t think I realized how isolated this mission is about to make me. I barely see Louis and Liam as it is but now Zayn is taking Harry away too? It’s crap. I hate him.

 

Harry and I don’t say a single word all the way back to the compound. We walk inside, keeping our distance. I think he’s starting to realize this may be one of our last times doing this together. Part of me wants to spend every second with him until I leave, but the other part of me wants to find Liam and Louis, see how they are, make sure they know I miss them. I think they don’t know how much I care about them. Whenever they look for me I’m never around. I bet it makes them think I’m avoiding them. I hope they know that’s not true though. They have to.

“Are you going up to your place?” I ask Harry, breaking the silence.

“I am,” He furrows his eyebrows, confused by how I asked that.

“I need to take care of something but I’ll see you soon.” I force the corner of my mouth up in a half smile. Harry just blinks back at me, almost like he’s having a hard time processing what I’m saying. “It’ll be quick.”

“Take your time,” he forces a smile back. “I have some work too actually.” I know that’s probably true but it feels like a lie the way he says it.

“Okay.” Harry turns to continue his way up to his place. I look around the main floor for a few seconds. There was no point to it, I just don’t want to end up in the lift with Harry after that weird little goodbye, but I’m pretty sure the best place to start looking for Liam and Louis is at their rooms.

“Where you out with the boss?” Louis’s voice screams down the hall. I turn around to see him and Liam coming in from the garage. Talk about awkward timing. They must’ve been gone too. I should’ve checked if Liam’s car was in its usual spot. Why didn’t I even think of it on the way in? I’m off my game today.

“What?” I reply, playing dumb.

“We saw you and Harry get out of his car,” Louis’s eyes narrow. “What were you doing with him?”

“It’s my mission,” I start to explain.

“Sounds like you drew the shit stick,” Louis laughs. I nod, pretending to agree with him. “Hey, you have to see my new room!”

“New room?”

“Yeah man, I got moved up to level six. It’s brilliant. No more cameras too. Come on,” Louis waves as he starts jogging to the lift. Liam just laughs, turning to me.

“He won’t shut up about it. Proud he made it before us,” he explains.

“Of course,” I smile. I bet he feels special. Important even. We follow Louis all the way up to level six.

“It’s pretty sweet. They let me pick out how I wanted it to look,” Louis boasts as he opens the door to his new room.

“Really?” I still don’t know much about each level. Obviously the higher up you go the more liberties you have, but the benefits are always a blur to me. We walk inside and I look around, mouth falling open. “Shit mate.” It’s the true sign of a bachelor’s pad. I swear the entire place screams Louis.

“It’s nice, right?” Louis sounds so proud. I turn to him, smiling even wider. I’m glad he’s happy. He deserves it. Whatever he’s doing with Trad, it’s good for him. “So what have you been up to Horan? Or is the boss working you to death? Any mission being chained to him must be shit.”

“Yeah, it’s a rough one.” I nod, trying not to say too much.

“I got why you’ve been so tight lipped on what he has you doing now, but you can trust us mate. There’s no cameras in here if you want to vent a little.” I know Louis actually means well trying to get me to share, but I can’t help but think he’s more selfishly motivated. I know the secrecy of it is driving him mad.

“There’s not much to really say bout it. Got me a crash pad today. Was coming to see you guys earlier when you ran into me actually. Wanted to hang now while I still can.”

“You’re leaving?” Liam’s eyes widen. “When?”

“Tomorrow or the next day,” I shrug. “Not really sure. Just know it’s coming up soon.”

“What the hell do they have you doing?” Louis asks. I look at him without replying. “You undercover then?”

“Deep,” I shake my head. “Can’t even go out with you guys anywhere.”

“Why? How are we going to blow your cover?” Louis sounds offended by the implication.

“I can’t be seen with anyone outside of my new life,” I back peddle, trying to make it seem like it wasn’t just them.

“For how long?” Liam asks. His face his breaking my heart right now. I think he’s about to burst into tears.

“Dunno,” I shrug again. “Could be months, could be a year…” my voice fades with that last word. A year? Could it really? Fuck. I know there’s no time stamp on this mission but I didn’t even think about that. It could drag on forever. I need to get Zayn to trust me now.

“Bloody hell, for real?” Louis’s voice now softens.

“There’s no timeline. Just whenever I get it done I guess.”

“And it’s going to take you that long? What the fuck do they have you doing?” Louis sounds outraged again, more towards Harry probably. I’m sure he’s coming up with some conspiracy theory in his mind right now about how Harry is trying to ruin his life.

“I can’t say.” I look away, feeling like I let them down. I knew both of their missions. Liam openly told us every detail of his, and even though I only heard Louis and Trad talking about theirs to Harry, I still knew what he was doing. It wasn’t fair to them, I get that, but it’s not my place. I can’t tell them what I’m doing. Besides, even if I could it wouldn’t help anyone. If anything it would only make things worse for them. I just wish they knew I was keeping quiet to protect them.

“Are you serious? Can’t say?” Louis stares at me, making me wish I was back in that shit flat all alone.

“I’m sorry,” I start to sincerely apologize. I really was sorry. I don’t think I ever wanted to have to keep something huge from them, but in reality that’s all I’ve done. They don’t know me at all do they? I’ve lied about my relationship with Harry, I’ve lied about where I go and what I do and now I’m lying about my mission right to their faces. This involves them, more than anyone, and I can’t even tell them.

“Have a nice life then, you can show yourself out.” Louis starts to walk by me back towards his bedroom.

“Louis,” Liam calls out to him, looking back to me apologetically.

“No, it’s okay, let him go. I know I hurt him.”

“He doesn’t mean it. He’s going to miss you, you know that. He’s just hurt you’re leaving so he’s taking it out on you. That’s how he is.”

“I know. Liam, it’s alright.” I nod, forcing a smile to him.

“No it’s not,” Liam pulls me into a tight hug. I don’t know if I can handle this. “We’ve been trying to see you more not less.”

“I know. Me too.”

“It’s dangerous though?” Liam pulls back, keeping his hands on my shoulders. I nod slowly. “Really dangerous?”

“Yeah. I could die if I screw up.”

“You be careful then.”

“I will be.”

“No, I mean it. You watch your six. Never let your guard down. Ever. I don’t care who you’re around and how genuine they seem, when you’re undercover you trust no one. You hear me? I don’t care if you’re befriending Jesus himself. Don’t fucking trust him.” A tear falls from Liam’s left eye. I watch it move down his cheek and fall off his jaw. This is brutal.

“I will.” It’s kind of funny when you think about it, Liam warning me against trusting Zayn. He might not know it’s him but that’s what he’s saying. He’s reminding me that no matter what happens, at the end of the day Zayn is the enemy. I can’t ever forget that. I feel like it’s some sort of cosmic gift. If even Liam can tell me not to let anything undercover change my mission then I must be doing the right thing.

“Will you have any backup? Anyone else under with you?” Liam sounds so protective. I like how he doesn’t care if he shows how he feels about people. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Honest, open, ready to do whatever it takes to guard the people he loves.

“Not under with me but watching from far away.”

“That’s it? Will they be watching all the time?” I hear the worry in his voice. I hate doing this to him. I’d rather Zayn torture me for answers on my mission than deal with hurting Liam.

“Yeah, they will be. They’ll be right there if I need it,” I force myself to sound convincing even though I know that’s not the truth. There will be moments when Harry and Trad are here busy in other work and I’ll be out there. I don’t know if I’ll ever be with Zayn when they’re not around, I’m sure I will be, but I know I’ll be on my own.

“Good,” Liam smiles. He pulls me in again for another hug. “If you need anything, I don’t care when or where, you get a message to me. I’ll be there.”

“I know,” I close my eyes, feeling my own cheeks start to get wet. Fuck, am I really crying now? I knew Liam would be the hardest goodbye. Once he started to lose it I was a goner.

“Be careful. Stay alert,” he leans back smiling again. “I love you mate.”

“I will. I know. I love you too,” I nod, giving his arm a little squeeze. Who would’ve thought Liam would be the first person here I’d say that to. I mean no, of course he would be. I love him, Louis and Harry. But just love them. That’s it. All three equally. Nothing else going on there.

“Louis loves you too.”

“I know he does,” I laugh. “I love him too.”

“He knows,” Liam nods. “Right, I’m sure you have a lot to do then to get ready so I won’t hold you any longer.”

“I’ll come back… I mean I’m sure I can sneak away right? So I’ll come back or meet you somewhere.” The thought of saying an official goodbye to Liam was too much to take. Especially knowing who was coming next. “It’s not for that long. Less than a month. Promise. You’ll see me just as often as now,” I laugh.

“Good,” Liam nods again. I can tell he doesn’t believe me but he goes along with it. “See you soon then.”

“Yeah, see you soon.” I take a few steps backward, then turn around and head out the door. I walk down the hall to the lift. I should’ve thought more before accepting this mission. It involves more patience and waiting than I’ve ever had in my life. The deeper I get the more I realized I never actually thought about what I was doing. There was never a question of if I should accept this, I just jumped right in. I let my feelings for Harry blind me and now I’m stuck.

 

“Harry?” I push his door open, walking in slowly.

“Yeah, one minute. Just have a seat out there, I’m making dinner for us.” Harry calls out from his room.

“What are you doing?”

“Just putting away some files.”

“Harry…”

“Yeah?” Harry walks out towards the kitchen, smiling. “You hungry?”

“Not really.”

“What’s wrong?” He walks closer to me, sticking his face extremely close to mine. “Have you been crying?”

“How?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” I shake my head and gently push him back. “We eating?”

“I thought you weren’t hungry.”

“No I am. Look it, you went through all this trouble,” I walk towards the stove. “Is that a roast?”

“Stop trying to change the subject Niall. Tell me what happened. I’ve never seen you cry…”

“I didn’t cry. Just some sweat. Walked up here.”

“You know anytime someone gets into the lift and hits this floor I’m notified.” Harry walks closer to me. “Why don’t you want me to know?”

“It’s absurd really. Don’t know why I’m so upset about it.”

“About what?”

“Leaving here. Any day now I’ll walk out the door and never come back.”

“What do you mean never come back? This isn’t permanent. You’ll come back Niall.”

“When?”

“When you finish your mission.”

“Will I?” I look at him, waiting for an answer that I never get. We just stand there in silence, both probably thinking about the only possible outcomes. Either I succeed, kill Zayn and become the most wanted man in The League or if I fail, then Zayn kills me. Why have we never talked about that before? There is no happy ending. Zayn is smart. Really smart. He’d have a back up of protection. Something I’ll never be able to get rid of. People will know I’m the one who killed him. I basically volunteered to die so Harry, Liam and Louis could all live.

“We’re going to end them. Zayn is a huge part of The Knights. When we take him out we’ll create a hole in their organization. A chance to wipe them out.”

“Like they did to us?”

“I won’t let them get you.” Harry takes a step closer to me, sounding sure of himself. “I don’t care what they throw our way, after you succeed you can stay here. Trad will have our defense systems up and running again. Any knight that tries to step foot beyond the walls will be wiped out.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. “You should know I wouldn’t let them get you.”

“I’m going to have to live the rest of my life in fear. They’ll all know who I am. It’s like running from a ghost.”

“You won’t have to fear anything here.”

“I’m not doing that to you.” I close my eyes, listening to Harry’s heartbeat.

“Doing what?”

“Making you give your life up to live like that.”

“Niall, I already do.”

“No, there’s going to come a day when you want to step down from it all. Let someone else call the shots, and you can’t do that if you’re still trying to protect me.”

“There will never be a day that I’ll step down from protecting you.” Harry sounds like a leader again, explaining the way things are. I lift my head to look at him. He seems younger. How old is he? I laugh to myself at the sudden realization of how little I actually know about him. Still. I’m letting Harry stand here, swearing the rest of his life to keeping me safe, and I don’t even know his age.

“How old are you?”

“Stop trying to change the subject Niall,”

“No, I’m serious. I stand up taller, straightening my back. “I don’t even know your age. Isn’t that weird? I know nothing about you. I spend all my bloody time with you and I don’t know the basic things people find out before they date someone.”

“We’re not dating,” Harry points out with a smirk.

“No, just willing to die for one another,” I sarcastically reply.

“Twenty two.”

“Twenty two,” I nod, repeating his answer.

“What else do you want to know?”

“What else are you willing to tell me?"

“Anything.”

“Really?” I stare at Harry, trying to read his face.

“I think it’s about time you know whatever it is you want to know. About me. About The League. About anything. If I can give you an answer to ease your mind, I will.” Harry places his hand on top of mine, rubbing his thumb in circles.

“I don’t even know where to begin.” Suddenly it’s like every question I ever had involving Harry vanished. I couldn’t think of a single thing to ask him.

“I’m sure there’s loads you’re dying to ask,” Harry laughs. I nod in agreement, still trying to think of something. “Come on, we can sit and talk.” Harry waves me over to the table and I follow. He brings our plates over and sits across from me. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Are you going to miss me?” I don’t know why I asked that; it’s a stupid question. What’s he supposed to say?

“I won’t let you be far enough away to miss,” he whispers back. It’s comforting, even if I know it isn’t true. I nod again, biting my lip.

“When do I have to move out?”

“Zayn’s started talking to you. Usually the first time he made contact we would’ve sent you off.”

“Why haven’t you?”

“Dunno,” Harry shrugs. “I guess I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because it really is a shit flat,” he smiles, making me break out into laughter. We both continue to laugh as he interlaces our fingers across the table. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“It probably could’ve been a little nicer. I just didn’t want you to like it.”

“Afraid I’d never want to come back?”

“Yes,” Harry forces himself to laugh, sounding more like a choking infant. I stare at him confused.

“You don’t actually think I’ll like that pile of crap better than here.”

“No,” he offers a weak smile.

“Then what is it?”

“I know what it’s like to get wrapped up in Zayn. Being a part of his life is one of the greatest gifts there is. He’s an amazing individual. There’s nothing like having someone who cares that deeply about you.”

“Harry, save your breath. I hate the man.”

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“What, are you afraid I’m going to fall in love with him or something?” I narrow my eyes, wondering if he ever had.

“You’re going to love him. Everyone does.”

“Do you?”

“I did once. He was my best friend Niall. I thought of him like a brother.” The way his eyes fly away from mine as soon as he opened his mouth let me know a part of him still loves him. I suppose he always will.

“The difference is I know the real Zayn. He’s not going to blind me with false loyalty.”

“The real Zayn,” Harry repeats, whispering. I watch him fix his posture, sitting up straight and looking alarmingly aware of every movement he makes. I think he’s realized that I’ve picked up on his usual telltale signs. He still believes Zayn is the man he knew growing up, the guy he trusted his life to. I think every time he tries to pull me out of this mission it’s not because he’s worried about me but because he’s worried about Zayn. He doesn’t want Zayn to be taken out. He never has.

“Promise me whatever happens, you won’t take it out on me.” I shift my weight in the chair, looking at my plate. “Promise me you won’t hate me for killing him.” Harry takes a few minutes, opening his mouth and shutting it with a frown.

“Niall,” he slowly begins. “I ordered you to do this.”

“That doesn’t mean you want it to be done. I bet it wasn’t even your idea.” Harry immediately looks away, cheeks turning red. “It wasn’t, was it?”

“I agreed with it.” Sometimes the pace at which he speaks is painfully slow. I feel like I could’ve gotten to know Zayn and murdered him in the time it takes Harry to get his answer out. “It’s what needs to be done.”

“You don’t actually believe that do you?” It’s the first time I’ve really realized Harry is a lot more like Liam than I ever would’ve guessed. He tries to be hard like Louis, hell I bet he wishes he could just scratch Zayn off his list and be done with him, but he’s still attached.

“Are you asking me as your leader?” That was all he needed to say. Harry didn’t want Zayn to die. Despite everything he’s done, the guilt Harry carries for Zayn’s actions, the lives Zayn is responsible for taking, Harry doesn’t want Zayn terminated. Does he want to be mad at me for something for the rest of my life? Is that why I was assigned to this? So whatever we are, whatever we have going on, it could never develop into something real? It’s bloody genius if you ask me. He’s ultimately blameless in our demise. “I don’t want to fight.” Harry stands up and walks closer to me, stopping at my side.

“Are we fighting?” I awkwardly laugh, pulling Harry down onto my lap. “That’s news to me.”

“We’re pre fighting.”

“Pre fighting?” I reach up and push some of Harry’s hair off his face.

“This conversation has the ability to develop into a fight.”

“I’d never get mad at you for how you feel about him. I might not get it but I know we can’t control how we feel. I actually have a similar problem.”

“You do?” Harry scrunches his eyebrows together.

“I love a man I probably shouldn’t,” I smirk. Harry’s face relaxes as he leans in close to me.

“I guarantee you it’s not the same,” he whispers against my lips before kissing me. He wraps his arms around my neck and pulls back slowly. “So you love me huh?”

“Always have. Love Liam and Louis too. I even loved Lark,” I smirk again.

“So I’m just another name on that long list huh?” Harry rubs his fingers against my neck.

“Can’t let you think you’re special.”

“But I am.”

“You are,” I agree, leaning forward to press our lips together. Yeah, I’m gonna miss this more than I should.


	16. A Fresh Start

“What’s your name?” Zayn asks, walking up to the stage. I just finished my usual hour-long set and started putting away my guitar.

“Neil,” I reply, knowing he knows the answer. Why was he asking me? I guess he can’t just say ‘hey Neil, I know everything about you because I’m a spy and I looked you up the day you walked in here for the first time.’

“I’m Zayn,” he reaches his hand out. I shake it firmly, trying to show my strength. I don’t know why I want him to know there’s some punch to me. I’m not going to fight him any time soon.

“I know,” I laugh, trying to look embarrassed. “Heard a few people say it once or twice. Guess you’re just hard to forget.”

“Thanks,” he rubs at the back of his neck. “To be honest mate I knew your name too. Heard Ron say it.”

“Honest is good.”

“I think so too.” It’s so hard not to laugh at him agreeing with me. Honest is good. Is that why you fucked your friends over, deceiving them for months? “Where are you from?”

“Ireland originally. Just moved here actually.”

“When?”

“Bout a month or so ago. Needed a fresh start. Things just weren’t really going my way.”

“If you ever need someone to talk to or show you around, I’ve heard I’m a pretty decent listener.”

“Cheers mate, I might take you up on that.”

“Yeah, you know where to find me.” Zayn gestures around the café and laughs.

“Guess we’re both creatures of habit that way,” I laugh back.

“See you tomorrow,” he winks.

“Tomorrow,” I nod. Zayn waves and walks to the door. I pick up my guitar case and slowly breathe out. I didn’t know I was holding that in to be honest. So now he’s talking to me. Even offering to lend an ear. I know what that means… time to move out.

I walk across the street, dreading every step. Am I allowed to go back to the compound before I leave? Do I get to pack some shit or am I stuck with everything in my place? God I hope my bed is more comfortable than it looks. Not that I’ll be able to sleep at all while I’m undercover. Every second I’ll be ready to go.

I open the door to find Harry facing me. I wonder how long he’s been standing like that or if he just timed it perfectly. “We’ll drop you at your flat on the way back.” So that’s how it’s going to be. Fair enough. Trad is here. I guess it’s better that way.

“Do I have a chance to get any of my clothes?”

“There are clothes for you in your flat. Ones better suited to your cover.”

“They have holes in them and dirt all over or something?” I laugh, picturing what my life is becoming. Harry’s face is serious though. Not a hint of a living human being inside. I stop smiling immediately and look to Trad. He looks like he’s glad to be done with my shit. This is the last time I’ll actually interact with him until my mission is complete. From this moment forward I need to have zero contact with anyone in The League.

 

The car pulls up to my new home. I look out of the corner of my eye to Harry. I wish we actually had this moment alone. Not that I want it to get that deep. I guess Trad being here really is a blessing in disguise. “Right, well I guess you’re off then.” Harry clears his throat. “It’s been great working with you,” he reaches his hand out to shake mine. I grab it, locking eyes with him. “Be careful. You’re out there on your own. But if you need anyone…” he stops, clearing his throat again. I know he keeps doing it to stop himself from breaking down.

“Yeah, you’ll be watching as always.” I feel Harry squeeze my hand before releasing, reminding me of what I already know. I nod again, showing him I understand and feel the same. “See ya Trad.”

“Bye,” he replies. I think he’s actually smiling in front of me. Prick. Honestly I didn’t do anything to the guy. It’s not like I wanted to kill Lark, he of all people should know that part. You just can’t win with some people. I look to Harry, making a face about Trad and watch him bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. He’s so cute when he does that. It takes everything in me to push the door open and hop out. I hear the car speed off before I even take a step towards the building. Cheers Trad.

I open the door to my new flat, slowly looking around. What the fuck am I supposed to do in here to pass the time? Honestly. It’s like being sentenced to solitary confinement. Maybe I can pick up more gigs at the café. Give me something to keep me busy when I’m not with Zayn. By now, if he hasn’t already, he’s probably looking up my family situation. Trying to investigate further on why I moved. My cover story is pretty simple. Neil lost his parents and brother in a robbery gone wrong. By losing my family I’m in a vulnerable position to Zayn. His family is his everything. He’s more likely to sympathize with someone who lost that. The reason Trad put together the violence causing their deaths is because The Knights believe they’re helping to get rid of that. True vigilantes. That’ll let Zayn believe I’d be more open to what he does. Something else to help us grow closer. It’s weird how you can create an entire identity targeting someone’s weaknesses like that. I think about my cover story a little more and laugh at how it’s strangely similar to my real life. Not in the sense of what happened, my family is still very much alive… at least the last time I saw them they were. Dunno what’s happened since I left for The League. But the part about them being dead feels similar. My family is dead to me. I can’t contact them. I can’t see them. Hell they probably think I died as well. It’s not hard to let myself picture what this Neil person would be feeling. He’d be lost, hurt, hell he’d be lonely as fuck. At least I can pull this off perfectly.

 

Time is such a weird concept to me now. I used to think there weren’t enough hours in the day, trying to spend as much of them as I could with Harry and still manage to see Louis and Liam. But now, now I think the hours pass way too slowly. I feel like I’ve been sitting here staring at the wall for five years at least. I look at the clock hanging in the corner. Oh good, it’s only been thirty seven minutes since Harry left me here. Thirty seven minutes and I’m already losing my god damn mind. I need to get out of here. Maybe I can go for a run? Yeah. That’s it. I’ll start fixing myself up. That’ll pass the time and make my mission easier. Ok. A run it is. I walk towards the closet to find something that can pass as running clothes. Everything in here is miserable. Did I just find clothes on the street? Clearly Neil doesn’t care how many rats have pissed on his shit. I dig a little deeper, pushing through the pile. There, finally. A shirt and some shorts. Good enough. Now, where would a good pair of trainers be? I look around the room, trying to find my shoes. Any shoes really. I can’t just own what I’m wearing… that would be mad. Fucking hell, did they really not give me another pair? I lay down on the floor, ready to give up, when I see something under the bed. I reach out and pull a beat up pair of Nike’s out. Thank god. I bet Harry did that. He knows I usually kick my shoes under the bed. Smartass. I laugh to myself as I change. I never thought I’d miss him this soon. I knew it would be hard but I think the not knowing when I’ll ever see him again makes it unbearable. I need to stop thinking about this. Right. Back to my run. I stand up, looking around this dump one last time. Can I run away from it? Lets see how well it works. I open the front door and jump down the stairs, two at a time. Here we go. Time to get in the best shape of my life. I start running, unaware of the direction I was heading in. I figure as long as I go in one direction all I’ll have to do is turn around. Hard to get lost that way, right? I wish I had some headphones I could put on. Better yet I wish I had something to plug those headphones into. I know I’m supposed to be hard for cash but didn’t I have anything in my old life I took with me? I bet this was all Trad’s planning. Maybe Harry will help me out… Speaking of Harry and Trad are they watching me now? They couldn’t be… there’s nothing set up here. I know they talked about getting contacts with cameras in them but I didn’t have them yet… did I? I probably should’ve checked the bathroom. Knowing them they’re right there for me. I let myself get lost in my thoughts, looking down at my feet. Each step felt amazing. Who says you can’t run from your problems? I seem to be doing a damn good job at it right now.

“Neil? That you?” I snap my head up to see Zayn coming towards me.

“Zayn?” I slow down, meeting him in the middle.

“Yeah. You live around here?”

“I think so,” I look around trying to estimate how far I’ve come.

“You don’t know?” Zayn starts laughing, tilting his head to the side.

“I mean I know I live that way,” I gesture behind me, “but I’m not sure how far back.”

“Been running long?”

“Yeah. Just kind of get lost in it sometimes.”

“I see that,” he laughs again. “Am I interrupting your groove?”

“Nah,” I wave him off smiling. “I needed a break. Think my legs are about to snap to be honest.”

“Wanna go for a bite then? I know a place near by. Bit shit looking from the outside but there’s so much character to it. Food’s good too.”

“Those are my favorite three words. Lead the way.”

“Come on,” Zayn jerks his head to the right and we turn to head that way. “Have you always been into running?”

“Not really. Picked it up recently. It just lets me clear my mind.”

“You have a lot in there?”

“Too much,” I nod. This seems so weird. Why is he trying so hard to make a connection with me? Wasn’t this supposed to be harder for me? Aren’t I supposed to be putting in the work? I know we wanted him to come to me but I could’ve sworn it was supposed to be more difficult than this.

“Wanna talk about it?” Zayn smiles at me. He needs to stop doing that. There’s something about the way he smiles that makes me forget who he is for a moment. He’s the enemy. He hurt Harry. Don’t forget that Niall. Neil. Whoever you are at the moment.

“Don’t wanna bore you,” I finally reply. Zayn shakes his head.

“You wouldn’t. I like hearing about people’s lives. You can tell a lot from a person based on what they think about when their mind hits autopilot.”

“I could see how that’s true,” I nod in agreement.

“Here we are,” Zayn looks at the pub in front of us.

“I also see what you mean about looking a bit shit,” I laugh.

“Just wait till we get inside.” He opens the door and I walk in, looking all around.

“Okay, there’s definitely a lot of character in here.” I turn my head, trying to take in every spot. There’s nothing like it. I can’t even describe it. It’s quaint but feels welcoming. A kind of place you need to go to at least once, but then you get sucked in and end up going a million times because nowhere else feels just like it.

“I told ya!” He laughs. “Come on, there’s a booth over there.”

“You know, introducing me to one of your favorite places is dangerous. Now you’ll be running into me here too.”

“Didn’t think of that. I’ll never get rid of ya now, will I?” He smiles. “Guess there’s worse things that can happen.” Why is he being like this? So warm and inviting… wait a minute. He did look my story up. He knows about the family line. That’s what this is all about. Suddenly it all makes sense. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “Sorry, just still in the run mindset I guess.”

“What’s on your mind then?”

“Nothing,” I shake my head.

“You said earlier you moved here recently, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“How are you liking it so far? Getting that fresh start?”

“Not really,” I force a small laugh to show it’s an uncomfortable subject to talk about.

“Why not”

“You can’t move away from who you are I suppose.”

“That’s true… What happened that made you want to?” I don’t get why he cares this much. Even knowing the story he surely knows, why would that matter like this? Regardless of what happened I’m still a stranger to him.

“It’s a long story,” I shake him off.

“You’re not used to people, are you?” His question catches me off guard. I freeze, staring at him. “Just mean you seem pretty protected. You don’t strike me as the open up type.”

“Oh, yeah. I just don’t see the point to it. Why talk about boring pasts when there’s other things, you know?”

“No one’s past is boring mate. They all shape us into who we are.”

“Who are you then?”

“What?”

“Tell me about your past.” I watch Zayn freeze up for a moment. I guess I caught him off guard. Maybe he’s used to being able to break people down with that warm smile and those unnaturally long eyelashes. I can see how people open right up to him. I wonder how long it took for Louis and Liam to feel at ease around Zayn.

“Not much to tell,” he shrugs.

“So I’m not the only one running from their past, huh?” I smirk and Zayn laughs a little. He nods along.

“Touché.”

“What happened to the past being important?”

“It is. Mine just isn’t something I like to talk about.”

“I feel the same way.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” he laughs to himself.

“Lets agree to start new then. No mentions of our pasts. Deal?”

“Deal,” Zayn smiles.

 

“You were right. That was delicious.” I lean back against the booth and place my hands on my stomach. “Don’t think I can fit another thing in me without bursting.”

“Good thing you finished your run.”

“Fuck mate, I can’t even think of standing up right now. Forget about walking back.”

“Do you even know how to get there?” I pause, trying to remember how we got here. Honestly I should know. I should’ve studied every street around here.

“Always been shit at directions,” I shrug, trying to look embarrassed. “I could call a car or something.”

“I can help you.” He sounds so innocent that I want to punch him. Stop being so bloody nice to me. I can’t take it. I pull out my wallet and toss my ID towards him. “You know we went in the opposite direction from here?”

“Figures,” I scoff.

“At the pace we’ll be walking we might make it in a month.”

“I’ve got no plans.” It hits me how honest that statement is. It’s true. I have no friends to see. Nothing to do. Part of me wants to curl up into a ball and cry. It’s a miserable existence. I can’t even talk to anyone.

“A bloke like you?” Zayn raises an eyebrow. “No hot dates banging down the door?”

“Ha,” I break out into laughter. I think it’s a coping mechanism. My mind keeps zeroing in on Harry.

“Really? No one you fancy?”

“Just moved here mate,” I try to sound confident. I shake away thoughts of Harry’s long curls falling off his shoulders. The way they framed his face as he slept. How his lips twitch when he’s having a bad dream.

“That mean you don’t have eyes?” He laughs.

“What about you?”

“I work too much.”

“What do you do?” I didn’t know if this was the right time to jump on that question. I doubt he’s going to be honest.

“It’s a long story.”

“We have a long walk.”

“That we do,” he nods. “Plenty of time to talk about you.”

“You really don’t like talking about yourself much, do you? You’re kind of a mystery.”

“Me?” Zayn laughs, shaking his head. “There’s nothing mysterious about me. I’m really just a big ol dork. Not much to it.”

“Who has a mysterious job.”

“Just a boring one. I don’t want to kill you with it.” Yeah, right. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” we both stand up and head out the door. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Was glad to have the company.”

“Really? I pegged you for a loner. The way you always come into the café on your own I mean.”

“That’s just my unwinding time. I need it each day to recharge. Actually you’ve been making it easier.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, your voice. You’re really good. You know that?”

“Oh… no.”

“You are.”

“Stop,” I look down.

“You blushing?” Zayn smiles. “Can’t take a compliment then?”

“I’m not blushing, it’s just the walking. I’m really out of shape.”

“You were running earlier.”

“Exactly. I’m so out of shape it’s still killing me,” I flash a smile back.

“Your Irish skin gives you away mate.”

“It’s a curse,” I nod.

“Seriously, you should look into music. You’d have a future in it for sure. Really seem to know what you’re doing on that stage.”

“I could never.”

“Do you like it?”

“Course I do.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“Life,” I laugh. “I’m barely making ends meet as it is. If I tried to chase after some impossible dream with no guarantee I’d be sleeping in the gutter.”

“Don’t you have people in your life who support you?”

“It’s just me, myself and I. Haven’t had anyone in years.”

“No family?” I try to avoid Zayn’s gaze but I wish I could see his face as he asked that question. He’s finally hit on the topic he’s been dying to address.

“No,” I whisper. It’s weird how hurt I actually am thinking about my family. I’m the one who abandoned them. I don’t have a right to miss them.

“What happened?”

“They’re gone,” I shrug.

“I’m sorry. You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” I look over at Zayn. He looks like he’s about to break into tears for me. I think he’s the type of guy who treats your pain as his pain. I can see now why Harry overlooked so much. How do you expect a guy like that to betray you?

“That what you meant about a fresh start? Hating the past?” His voice was soft but inviting. Something about it made me want to open up to him.

“Yeah. After I lost them I just needed to get out. Move somewhere without the memory surrounding me.”

“Did you have any siblings?”

“A brother,” I nod. “I feel bad I wasn’t closer to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was a proper little shit growing up. Bet he hated me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“You didn’t know him.”

“But I know you now. I can’t see anyone hating you.”

“Thanks.” I turn my head, starting to recognize the area we’re walking in. “What about you then?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I told you something about my past. It’s only fair you share now.”

“My pain is self inflicted,” he shook his head. “Not the same at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I hurt a lot of people I cared about. Didn’t mean to, not in the way that I did.”

“Did they forgive you?” I almost laugh as I ask that. Then I thought of Liam. He did.

“No.” Zayn’s voice cracks a little. I look at the pain on his face. He looks like he just watched his dog get hit by a truck. I actually would feel sorry for him if I didn’t know the truth.

“They’ll come around,” I nod, lying my ass off. “Sometimes it just takes time.”

“No, they never will. I get it though. They’re right to be mad.” Right to be mad? Is he fucking kidding me? Of course they are. He tried to have them fucking killed. His actions almost cost them all their lives.

“You regret it?”

“Every damn day.” I wasn’t prepared for that answer. I don’t know if he was saying it for my benefit or if he actually meant it but I believed him. The way he said it, the command behind it. “I did what I thought I needed to do and it hurt the people I loved more than anything. I wasn’t thinking about them. I should’ve been though. They were always thinking about me.” I want to ask him more about what happened but I know if I push too hard he’ll shut down. Maybe even start avoiding me. That’s what everything I have on him tells me. I can’t be greedy. He’ll open up to me when he’s ready. We’re still new friends… if you can even call us that.

“Have you ever tried to reach out to them? Mend some fences?”

“Once,” he nods slowly. I pause, taking in this new information. He tried to reach out to them? Who? Clearly not Louis, that would be a suicide mission. Liam said he didn’t even know for sure if Zayn was alive so it couldn’t be him… that only leaves Harry. Zayn tried to reach out to Harry? Recently? Did he make contact? What happened?

“And?” I wished I could just interrogate him. Fight him right here and now for answers. Every cell in my body was screaming out.

“Nothing changed. Like I said, our pasts are clearly different.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I shake my head. “They still suck all the same.”

“No,” he replies. I stop, looking at him. His face actually starts to scare me. “Yours is far worse. I may not be able to talk to the people I love but they’re still out there.”

“Yeah,” I whisper. I actually start to feel guilty lying about it. I know it’s a cover story but there’s nothing fun about pretending my family is dead. Especially when they very well could be. I need to try and get a message out to Harry, see if he could look them up for me. Just let me know they’re actually okay. Ease my guilt a little.

“Sorry mate.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.” We stop in front of my building, neither one of us speaking. After a few seconds I turn to him.

“Right, well this is me then.”

“You remember how we got back?”

“Think so,” I smile.

“Good. See you around then?”

“Tomorrow.” He looks at me, confused. “At the café, yeah?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Zayn laughs. “I’ll be there.”

“That makes too of us.” I give a little wave and head inside. I just survived my first encounter alone with Zayn. And I weirdly didn’t hate it. He’s a complex guy. I don’t mean I like him, I’ll always hate him for what he did, but I can tell there’s more to his side. I think back to Liam explaining everything to me in his car again. Poor Liam. If only he knew.


	17. You Could've Trusted Us

I wake up to the sound of someone pounding on my door. What time is it? Bloody hell, it’s half passed three. Are they mad? They’re about to be dead if they don’t have a good reason for this. I wait a second, thinking that they left before I hear it get even louder. Someone is clearly upset about something. They also have the wrong flat. The only person who could even show up at my door is Zayn, and unless he found out who I was there’s no reason for all this anger. I doubt he’d even knock if he knew the truth, he’d probably just break right and shoot my in my sleep.

I swing my legs off the side of the bed and stumble blindly to the door. I’ve only lived here for a week now, still not used to where everything is in the dark. “Fuck!” I scream as I stub my toe in the door. I’m going to murder whoever is out there.

“Open the damn door,” I hear a familiar voice scream from the hallway. I must be dreaming. How? There’s no way I heard that right. I stumble a little more than I should considering how small my space is. This entire journey is longer than it should be to be honest. Guess I’m not at my best when I’m asleep. I take off the lock and slowly open the door, rubbing my eyes.

“What the fuck?” I scream, face changing as I lay eyes on him.

“Are you fucking serious? Neil?” Louis walks in, shoving me out of the way. I slam the door shut, turning to him.

“What are you doing here? You’re going to get yourself killed. If anyone sees you-”

“You mean Zayn? If Zayn fucking sees me you traitorous piece of shit. When were you going to tell me?”

“Louis-”

“For fucks sake Niall.”

“Shhh.”

“Oh right, Neil,” he rolls his eyes. Is he trying to get us both murdered?

“How did you even find out?”

“Trad of all fucking people. How could you not tell me? I had to hear it from him? After all the shit we’ve told you. Honestly, you call yourself a friend? You’re just as bad as Zayn is.”

“Wait a damn minute, I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? From What? The big bad wolf?”

“Does Liam know?”

“Are you shitting me? You think I’d tell him this? He’d run out and save the cunt.”

“Louis-”

“When are you doing it then?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“He tricking you too? Sucking you into his bullshit? You can’t pull this off. This is a fucking joke.”

“No one is tricking me about anything,” my voice raises. “I know exactly what I’m doing. I need to gain his trust-”

“You need to kill him now. Before he grows on you. He’s like mold.”

“It takes time Louis.”

“Like hell it does. All you need to do is walk up to him, pull out a gun or knife or even fucking rope and kill him.”

“You know it can’t go down like that.”

“Let me at him, I’ll end this once and for all.”

“You can’t be a part of it. You shouldn’t even be here.”

“How could you not tell me he’s still alive?” I’ve never seen him look this hurt. I think the anger is just a cover up. He trusted me and now I’ve betrayed him too. Just like Zayn. I feel like crap. Worse than that. I don’t deserve a friend like him in my life. How can I ever make it up to him?

“I wanted to tell you. I almost did, so many time but-”

“But what? Harry shut you up?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Like hell it isn’t. You made a choice.”

“I wasn’t choosing anyone.”

“You didn’t fucking tell me Zayn was alive. You knew what he did to us, you knew how much I can’t stand the little shit and you kept your mouth shut.”

“I told you I was trying to protect you.”

“From Zayn? Don’t make me laugh!”

“From yourself. Louis, look at you. You’re not thinking. You’re here, right now, in a place Zayn knows to be my house. If he knows you’re here we’re both dead before you can even leave.”

“I have a right to be livid.”

“I know.”

“No you don’t. You don’t know shit.”

“I know you’re hurting. You think I betrayed you, maybe like he did. But it’s not the same. I’m doing this for you Louis. I’m trying to take him out. The second I heard about this mission all I could think of was setting you free. He knows you. The Knights know you. You have a target on your back, you all do. I want to make things right again. I want you all to just be safe.”

“You should’ve told me.” This was the first time he wasn’t screaming. His voice started to sound a little calmer. Like maybe I got through to him.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Fucking hell,” he shakes his head. “So it’s true then?”

“Zayn’s alive.”

“And you’ve seen him?”

“Quite a bit.”

“Well what do you think?”

“About?”

“About Zayn.” I watch him fold his arms across his chest, waiting for my answer. No matter what I say it’s going to be wrong.

“He’s hard to read.” I shrug. “Don’t really have any thoughts on him.”

“You’re lying!” Louis furrows his eyebrows. “You like him, don’t you? What, is he your new best friend now? You gonna pledge your allegiance to The Knights?”

“Fuck off,” I wave my hand at him. “I’m not saying that at all. He’s been nice to me, yeah, but so what? I know who he is.”

“You’re going to turn soft to him,” Louis shakes his head. I could hear the anger coming back. “You’ll fall into his trap like we all did.”

“I’m going to kill him. That’s the only outcome there is.”

“You won’t be able to do it.”

“I killed Lark, didn’t I?” Louis stops, looking at me for a minute. I think my answer surprised him. His face softens and he drops his arms to his sides.

“Yeah, we’ve all done things we didn’t want to.” He looks around for a minute and turns back to me. “This really the place you’re staying in?”

“Unfortunately. Feel bad for me now, don’t you?”

“Think it’s fitting. It’s what you deserve.”

“How long are you going to be mad at me for?”

“As long as it takes you to come back.” There’s an awkward pause after Louis finishes his sentence. His words seemed sweeter to me than he probably meant. I take it as him saying he just misses me and wants me to return safely, but knowing him it was probably meant more as a kill the bastard already type of thing. I just nod, looking down to my feet.

“I really am sorry Louis, I wanted to tell you. I just knew how you’d react.”

“Not if you told me right away.”

“I didn’t know I could.”

“It’s fairly simple, you open your mouth and words come out.”

“I came into The League thinking it was going to be complete solitude. That I wasn’t going to make any friends or care about anyone. I thought it was a stone cold, lonely life and I was ready for that. Then Liam and you came into it, making me see that there’s more to being a member than completing missions. I didn’t know how to do one job without compromising the other.”

“What you never seemed to comprehend is that we are The League Niall. It’s not just you and it’s not just me, it’s all of us together. Talking to me about a mission that very much involves my life is not compromising anything. I don’t care what Harry told you, because I know he’s the one who made sure you didn’t tell me so you can drop that shit.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“You could’ve trusted us.”

“I do trust you Louis, but even you said you wouldn’t go tell Liam so you understand.”

“That’s different.”

“How? Liam is your best mate. You two are practically attached at the hip but you’re going to keep the fact that Zayn is alive from him. Isn’t that more of a betrayal than me?”

“Fuck off. Liam doesn’t know what’s best for him.”

“You think you’re protecting him.”

“If Liam knew he’d run straight to Zayn thinking he was saving him and Zayn would send him back in a body bag as a message.”

“And what do you think he’d do to you?”

“I wouldn’t be stupid enough to run to him thinking we’re still friends or that my friendship actually meant something to him.”

“No, you’d just run to him, temper raging like now, thinking you’ll be able to kill him but you wouldn’t.”

“Like hell I wouldn’t, there’d be nothing stopping me. Bring me to him. I’ll kill him right now.”

“That’s not what I mean. I know you can do it, I have every faith in your capability to actually do it, but I mean you wouldn’t be thinking. Your plan would have some holes in it and he’d figure them out. He’s smart. He knows how to protect himself. That’s how he’s stayed alive all this time. If you acted in the heat of the moment you wouldn’t be here.”

“Doesn’t matter now, Trad told me. Lets move past what I’d do if I found out. Clearly you’re wrong. I came here, not running after him.”

“You came here because I didn’t tell you…” Louis just nods, looking around my place again. I know he’s about to make another remark on it’s appearance so I cut him off before he can. “How did Trad tell you anyway?”

“What, mad someone else cared enough to let me in?”

“No, I just didn’t think you two were close is all.”

“We’re not. Just forced to spend every bloody waking moment of our lives together. That’s what happens when you’re assigned to a mission with a partner. Been brutal on me. I heard him mention Neil a while back to Harry and when he did it again I started pressing him. Wanted to know who this Neil was and why I never heard of him before. Finally I think I broke the poor fellow down. He told me it was you, so here I am.”

“I am sorry for hurting you Louis. I thought I could pull this off and come back without you needing to know. I didn’t want the thought of Zayn being alive to keep you up at night.”

“Like hell it will. His life has no weight on mine. I couldn’t care less.”

“It’s just us Louis, you don’t have to pretend he didn’t hurt you.”

“What the fuck do you know anyway, you weren’t there. You have no idea what happened.”

“I know you were close.”

“I’m not Liam or Harry, you can’t pull this shit on me and expect me to lay down on that couch spilling every secret I’ve ever had. I don’t give a fuck. He was my friend, I thought, and now he’s not. Couldn’t care less.”

“Then why do you want him dead so badly?”

“Because that’s what he deserves. Karma. Something to kick him onto his smug little ass and remind him of what he did. I can’t see a more fitting way than for you to gain his trust and stab him in the back. Just wish I could see the look on his face when he finds out.”

“But you don’t still care about him,” I laugh realizing that was probably the worst thing to do.

“Don’t act like you fucking know what I’m feeling. You don’t. You don’t know any of it. You think Liam and I are close now, yeah? You should’ve seen how close I was to Zayn.” Louis yelled so loud I felt like the room was shaking. I’ve never seen anyone like this before in my life. It’s pretty terrifying. I don’t even know how to reply to him. I just stand there, waiting to see what happens next. “Zayn is twisted, alright? To be able to do that… to turn your back on your brothers like that? And say it’s what’s right? That’s fucked up.” I actually think Louis is fighting back the urge to break down. “I did everything with Zayn.” Louis looks me in the eyes like he’s trying to win a staring contest. I blink repeatedly, hoping to let some of the intensity go. “I told Zayn everything. Shit I haven’t even told Liam to this day. He was my brother. My family. I would’ve died for him and the entire time that’s what he wanted. How fucked up is that? How twisted do you have to be to pull something like that off? To spend time with people, convince them you generally care about them, that they’re your family, then up and abandon it all, trying to hurt them in the process.” I watch him shake his head, turning away from me. I can’t help but try to picture Zayn in that situation. Everything I know about him, about his skills, tells me if he really wanted them dead they would be. But they’re not. They’ve been living their lives without problem ever since he left. It doesn’t make sense.

“Louis-”

“Any good places nearby?” He cuts me off, changing the subject completely. I knew he really didn’t want to talk so I obliged.

“There’s a few I guess.”

“Haven’t been dying locked in here then?”

“Only occasionally. If I stay in here I start to go mad, wondering what you all are up to.”

“You spend your time thinking about us?” Louis laughs.

“Yeah. I miss you guys I guess. Spent so much time with you, Liam and Harry that it’s weird being back on my own. Got used to company.”

“It is weird without you. Liam keeps asking when I think we’ll see you again.”

“He does?”

“Bit sad when you think about it. He’s like a child whose best friend moved to another country.”

“What do you tell him?”

“That we’ll probably never see you again,” he flashes his signature Louis smirk, forcing me to laugh.

“Good, let him down gently.” I roll my eyes. “You’re a real ass.”

“Come back soon, alright?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“I mean for good. Finish your mission and come back. In one piece. Don’t think we could handle losing anyone else.”

“I will Louis, I mean it.”

“You being careful out there? Zayn is tough to understand. If you need any help or pointers…”

“Thank you.”

“Right then, I should probably head back. Like you said coming here in the first place was a dumbass move.”

“It’s late. I doubt Zayn is actually watching my apartment. Why don’t you stay. You can take the bed, I’ll take the couch. In the morning I’ll show you the back way out.”

“You really are lonely aren’t you?” I laugh nodding in agreement.

“You have no idea.”

“I’m afraid to see what your bed looks like if you’re offering to sleep on that piece of crap.” He points to the couch and I smile.

“Both are more comfortable than they look. I was pleasantly surprised.”

“Go on then, give me a tour.”

“It’s going to be the shortest tour of your life.”

“Then why’d it take you five hundred years to answer your door?”

“Are you serious? I was dead asleep. I had no idea if that was even real or not. By the time I actually go out of bed I walked into every door and wall there is.” I lightly shove Louis, walking by him to point out where everything it. Not that I needed to, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Just the necessities.

“I didn’t even know they made beds that small,” Louis laughs as he pokes his head into my bedroom. “Looks like something a dog would sleep on.”

“Pretty nice though. Sit on it. It’s real proper. Looks can be deceiving sometimes.”

“That what Harry taught you about being under cover? Not to trust a book by it’s cover?” Louis sits down, eyes opening wide. “What the hell, it’s better than the beds at the compound!”

“Told ya,” I laugh. “My first night I was debating just sleeping on the floor but as soon as I sat down I thought I was on a cloud. Dunno how they did it. It’s perfect.”

“Yeah.” Louis voice drops down. I look at him, waiting for him to say something else but he doesn’t.

“You alright?”

“You know what this means?” He tilts his head to the side, almost whispering.

“What?”

“They expect you to be under cover for a long time. Years even.” He clears his throat, punching down at the bed. I hadn’t even thought about it to be honest. I just assumed Harry had gone out of his way to make sure I was as comfortable as could be. I didn’t think there was any hidden meaning behind it. We both stay still, letting the realization wash over both of us. It’s hard enough keeping my distance from Harry as is, but to stay away from him for a year? Could I do that? I already think I’m starting to go crazy. Part of me wonders how he’s spending his time. Is he watching me or has he moved onto something else? “Anyway it’s late. Probably should get some sleep.” Louis tried to sound like his regular self again, forcing an awkward smile.

“Yeah, see you in the morning then.” I turn and walk back out towards the couch. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop thinking about Harry now. I need to find a way to see him soon. There has to be something I can do. Even if I go back to the compound, can I get away with it? Or would I be risking everything just for my selfish needs? I can’t do that to him. To them. Liam and Louis deserve the completion of this mission just as much. I need to stay strong. Their lives are depending on it. I can hold off, just a little bit longer. Besides, maybe Louis was wrong. I know Harry; I know he’d want to make sure I was comfortable no matter what. That doesn’t mean he thinks I’ll be here forever… right?


	18. Treated Like A Traitor

“Morning,” Louis walks out of my room dazed. He looks like he’s been asleep for years.

“Morning,” I nod back. I smile, heading towards the kitchen. “Don’t have much to make… cereal alright?”

“It’ll do.”

“Leave it out. You’ve never made me breakfast before.”

“You never slept over,” Louis flashes a bright grin my way, forcing me to laugh in amusement.

“True.” I pour us both cereal and carry the bowls to the table.

“Is there any way you can come back for a visit? Even just a quick pop in. Liam would love it.”

“I can do,” I nod, thinking about it. “Don’t see why not. There’s ways to make it happen.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Been wanting to anyway. You coming here proves I’m not under watch. Don’t think we would’ve woken up if I was.”

“You give him too much credit,” Louis snorts. “He’s not some god. He screws up.”

“I’m not saying he doesn’t.” I can never win when discussing Zayn with him, can I? No matter what I say Louis will take offense to it.

“He’d have no reason to watch you like that. You’re not on his radar. Shouldn’t be. What have you done to raise suspicions? Probably doesn’t spend a second of his time thinking about you.” The bitter tone in his voice sends up warning flags. I should just agree and move on.

“You’re right.”

“Course I am.” He shovels a spoonful into his mouth, still talking. “I know him better than Harry. Can’t believe he didn’t ask me to weigh in on this.”

“Better than Harry? Hasn’t he known him since they were kids?”

“When they were kids. They then grew apart. The Zayn that I knew was a different person.”

“He seems to be good at reinventing himself.”

“Listen, I’m going to get you a mobile. Untraceable. Just a way for us to communicate if you need it. I’ll help you in any way that I can, yeah?”

“Thanks Louis,” I smile, knowing he’s trying to show me he cares. He does it more with actions than with words and I appreciate that. It’s a lot easier to take than Liam’s overbearingness.

“Right,” he nods and takes another spoonful into his mouth. We sit there eating for a few moments, just listening to our spoons clink against the bowls.

“So how’s your mission then? Working with Trad alright?”

“Eh,” he shrugs. “You know what an annoying little prick he can be. Always wants the gold star. Any work we do suddenly becomes his accomplishments. It’s complete rubbish.”

“What exactly are you doing?” I try to sound like I’m confused.

“Working on rebuilding our security system. Have you heard about the old one? Lark installed it?”

“Yeah, the one that targeted the Knights.”

“Yeah that’s the one. Been rebuilding it from the beginning. There was an override on it the night it blew out. Someone messed around with the coding in the system, causing it to shutdown and erase all previous data. Luckily we’ve been able to recover most of it. Found out the son of a bitch who set it off too. I’ll let you have one guess on who it was.”

“Zayn?” I say it more like a question so Louis doesn’t get onto the fact that I knew about his mission all along. Nothing would piss him off more right about now.

“Exactly. Tell me again how he’s so smart. We were able to recover what he did. He makes mistakes.”

“Good. Hopefully he’ll make a few soon,” I smile weakly. Talking about Zayn bringing down the security system reminds me of Harry’s deepest fear that it was Lark who aided him. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I start to regret asking Louis about his mission in the first place.

“Niall? Am I boring you?”

“Always,” I fake a yawn in reply.

“Fuck off,” Louis shoves me across the table and I laugh. I missed having a friend around like this. Someone I could let my guard down around and just be me. Niall. Not Neil. I’m sick of Neil. His life fucking blows.

“You almost done with it?”

“Nah, won’t be for a while. It’s more complicated than it sounds. I won’t bore you with the details.”

“Thank god,” I smirk. He rolls his eyes, clearly delighted.

“What about Liam’s mission? What’s going on with that?”

“The clone shit?”

“Yeah. Last I heard he just started on it.”

“Dunno” Louis shrugs. “Haven’t seen him much.”

“Why?”

“Both been busy. When I do see him we don’t talk about our missions. We’re both too sick and tired of them to say anything bout em.”

“I hear that.”

“You hate this don’t you?”

“What?” I look up, trying to seem a little livelier than before.

“Drop the act Niall, you’re shit at it. Hope you’re better with Zayn.”

“It’s just a lot, you know? To constantly be someone else… It’s draining. Don’t know how he did it for so long.”

“Like I said, it takes a real twisted son of a bitch to pull that off. You’re not like him.”

“Gee thanks.”

“No, I mean it in a good way”

“Yeah, I’ll just fail my mission and die a slow and painful death.”

“I just mean, you’re a good guy Niall. Don’t forget that. Through all of this remember who you are.” I listen to his words, imagining them to be something Liam would say. It’s weird the way they rub off on each other. They’re better for one another than they realize.

“Thanks,” I nod slowly.

“Anyway, I should probably head out. Bet you have someplace to be. That café you go off to right? What, you sing?”

“Yeah,” I look down, hoping he doesn’t press the topic any more.

“You actually good?”

“Dunno. No one’s thrown shit at me yet.”

“And Zayn’s impressed I heard. You must be pretty damn decent for his ear to like it.”

“Eh,” I shrug.

“Come on, sing me something.”

“Fuck off,” I kick his chair back and he grins. “Don’t you have someone else to annoy?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Bet they all miss me already.” He stands up, walking back to my room towards the hidden door. “Listen, if you need me…”

“I know.”

“Be careful, alright?”

“I will.”

“No, I mean it. You come back.”

“I will,” I nod. I walk over and give him a hug.

“See ya soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll visit soon. I promise.” I pull back and smile at him. He just nods, opening the bookshelf to reveal his escape.

“Bye,” he waves and walks out. I watch him disappear, instantly missing the companionship I just had. Suddenly it’s so quiet. I don’t know how I’ve managed this for so long. I let out a long sigh and turn to get dressed. Might as well head over to the café earlier. Maybe there’s something going on there that’ll be entertaining. I do love a bit of people watching… but just the thought of going to see Zayn today kills. I think I need a break. I look around my room, trying to come up with a plan. Something different needs to happen today. I can’t go on with the same boring routine.

 

I shouldn’t be doing this, I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t help it. Seeing Louis last night and this morning reminded me that there’s actually a way to still be happy. I shake away all thoughts as I step out of a cab. Just a bit of a jog from here… I’ve never hated the not taking an outside vehicle up to the compound rule more before in my life. On the up side, I have been jogging every day so it shouldn’t kill me.

After my hour-long hike up to the gate I enter my code, eagerly waiting for it to open. But it doesn’t. Something is wrong. Did my code not work? Did they take away my access? What’s going on?

“Niall Horan, slowly walk forward. Hands in the air.” I squint at the figure standing at the top of the gate. “Now” he demands. Shit alright, alright. I throw my arms up, taking a step forward. “Stop. Prepare to be searched.”

“Prepare to be what?” I stare at the guy, waiting for an explanation. A door off to the side of the gate opens up and two men walk my way. One has a gun held steady on me, the other sporting one mean old mug. What the hell is going on here? The mean looking fellow walks right up to me, getting in my space. He starts patting me down, rougher than he needed to be. Do they think I’m coming back to shoot the place up or something? “Mind telling me what you’re looking for?” The guy shoves me back, turning me around to check me some more. I’ve never been so pissed off before in my life. They know who I am, they called me by my name, and yet here they are treating me like I’m some sort of traitor.

“He’s clean.” The guy patting me down says to the other man. “Lead the way,” he says turning back to me. The gates open up and I look at him, hesitating. “Go on.” I take a step forward, watching the guy with the gun follow me. How long is he going to keep that trained on me? This is ridiculous. I walk through the gate and all the way up to the compound. I forgot that was a bit of a journey too. The whole way up the guy behind me held his gun steady, locked on his target.

“Are you going to follow me the entire time I’m here?” He just stares at me, like I didn’t even say a word. “Right.” I walk inside, looking around the familiar halls. It feels like I’m a Potential all over again. That feeling of terror fills my veins. I want to storm right up to Harry but I doubt I have access anymore. Hell I didn’t even have enough access to get in the damn building. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Why would they cut all ties? I get into the lift and go up to the fifth floor. I’ll start with small things. When the doors open I walk off, the guy with the gun still following. “You don’t talk much do you?” He just stares at me, like he’s picturing ways to kill me without his weapon. I turn back around and start to walk down the hall. Maybe Liam is in his room. He’s definitely someone I want around when there’s a guy threatening to kill me. I walk down the hall, looking for his room. Wasn’t it right here? I knock on the door.

“Yeah?” Someone answers, looking at me confused. “Do I know you?”

“Sorry… isn’t this Liam’s room?”

“Payno? He moved on up to the sixth.” The guy slowly replied. I think he was trying to figure out if he should be telling me anything at all.

“Oh, sorry. Carry on.” I turn back around and head towards the lift again. So Liam moved up? I haven’t been gone that long, why does everything feel different? I get back into the lift and go up to the sixth floor. “Lets try this again,” I say mostly to myself. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one listening anyway. I step out, looking around. I have no idea which way to go. I could head to Louis’s room. If I remember how. I take a few steps down a hall, confused again. I don’t think this was right. I turn back around, ignoring the annoyed look on my shadow’s face. Maybe it was back that way?

“Niall? Is that you?” I snap my head back around, smiling.

“Liam!” We walk towards each other, hugging tightly. “How’ve you been mate? You alright?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah,” I pull back as he keeps a hand on my shoulder. I watch his gaze move to the man behind me and his smile fade.

“What the bloody hell is this all about?”

“Dunno,” I shrug. “Followed me in after I was patted down at the front gate.”

“Are you serious?” His eyes widen. “They’re treating you like a fucking criminal? Fuck off. Get out of here. He’s home now. Leave him be,” Liam waves at the guy.

“Can’t. Don’t matter what I think. Just following orders.”

“Oh so you can speak then?” I mock him. He just stares back at me. “Right. It’s been a fun visit as you can see.” I turn back to Liam, rolling my eyes.

“It’s not right,” Liam says again. He pulls me closer to him, protective. “Who ordered this?” To be fair it was a question I was wondering myself. I feel like an order of this extent would only come from one person. I just can’t figure out why he’d give it.

“Doesn’t matter now. You gotten bigger since I last saw you? Hitting the gym more?”

“Can you tell?” Liam smiles, looking down. “Guess I have been. Just trying to keep up with myself.”

“Maybe if I was like you I’d be back here already.” If I’m allowed to ever come back.

“How’s that going? Know when you’ll be back yet?” Liam looks so hopeful; I just hate to answer him. Instead I look back at the gun pointing to me. Liam follows my gaze.

“I think you’ve made your point. You searched him yeah? Is he clean?” The gunman just nods. “Then you’ve done your job. What do you think he’s going to do? This is his place. He’s a member of The League just as you are. This is ridiculous.”

“I’m not allowed to leave him alone.”

“He’s not alone. I’m standing right here. I’ll take over. I’ll take full responsibility for all of his actions. It’s on me.” I watch as he seems to think it over for a moment. “I won’t let him out of my sight.”

“Whatever. I have better shit to do anyway,” the guy lowers his arms. “Anything happens-”

“Yeah I know,” Liam waves him off. I don’t think he wanted to hear the rest of that sentence. I’m pretty sure the guy was just telling him to terminate me if I so much as took a step away from him. The guy nods and turns around. Liam and I watch him walk away, waiting until he's out of our vision before speaking again.

“Thank god,” I look back to Liam. “Been waiting for that forever.”

“Can’t believe you had to deal with that at all,” Liam shakes his head. “Don’t know why they would set that up. To be treated like a traitor,” he shakes his head again unable to finish the thought.

“Doesn’t matter,” I lie. “Can we sit somewhere?”

“Yeah, come on. I’ll show you my new place. Did you know I’m up here now or were you looking for Louis? He’s not in, just came from there.”

“I was looking for you actually.” The way Liam’s face lights up forces me to smile. “I went to your old room first.”

“Did you? Sorry about the waste of time.”

“Don’t be. It allowed plenty of bonding time with my friend back there.”

“You braid each other’s hair and paint your nails?”

“Absolutely.” I laugh, following Liam to his room.

“I’ve missed you mate. Been too long. I forgot what it was like before you came here and now I can’t escape it.” He stops at his door, using his hand-print to unlock it. That’s something new. I guess level sixers get extra privacy.

“What’s wrong with how things were?” Liam waves me inside, following behind me. He walks over to the kitchen.

“Want some water?” He already pours two glasses before I can answer. I watch his hands twitch as he holds one out to me.

“Cheers,” I smile, trying to ease his nerves.

“Things were hard before you came around, harder after you left.” Liam nods. “This place is changing. Don’t know if it’s for the better or not. Louis’s been more stubborn than usual and Harry…”

“What about Harry?”

“He seems to have disappeared again. I haven’t seen him since you left. No one has. Even if their mission involves him, he sends Trad instead.”

“You don’t talk to him? I know you used to… you’d allude to it at least.” I try to cover my tracks, making sure he doesn’t get suspicious.

“Haven’t since you left,” his voice softens. “I think he’s worried about it. Your mission.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Whatever it is it’s clearly important. Dangerous too. I think he’s seen how close we’ve gotten and he’s scared for Louis, and even me, that we might lose you. I know he feels responsible deep down for everything that happens to us. If we lost you like we lost Zayn I think he’d take it the hardest.”

“That makes sense,” I nod, not really convinced. All I wanted to do now was go find Harry and make sure he’s okay. Let him know that whatever he’s avoiding, it’s going to be fine. Everything will work out. “How else has it been different here? You said everything was changing?”

“Yeah, security measures are becoming insane. Everything is basically kept under wraps. Missions are all becoming classified. We can’t even so much as think about talking to someone about it. The lower levels are practically followed around daily. I don’t think they’re trusted any more. In fact, I believe that’s why I was moved up here. Level five and under are hassled daily now.”

“Why? Did something else happen?”

“Dunno. If it did Harry wouldn’t say anyway.”

“True.” I take a sip of water, wishing I could see Harry right now. How would he react to me standing in front of him? Would he scream? Would he call security? Would he smile, his eyes wide, dimples on display? I miss that the most.

“So how’ve you been? Your mission… you don’t have to mention it I know you’re sensitive on that but how’s it going? Are you on track with it? Set to come back? Making progress?”

“It’s going… I don’t know where I stand on it honestly. It’s not an easy dry cut assignment.”

“Right,” Liam nods, frowning down to his shoes. “You’re being safe though, yeah? Still have backup? A contact?”

“I…” I stop before answering. Who the hell knows to be honest. Do I still have a contact? Are Harry and Trad keeping tabs on me? Or did the throw me out there on my own? “I haven’t had contact with anyone at all. I don’t know Liam. I’m not going to lie to you.”

“You haven’t been talking to anyone? They’re not helping you?” He sounds so worried for me. Terrified even. I lean over and pat his leg.

“I’m alright. I’m good on me own. Always have been. You have nothing to worry about. I’m being smart.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t believe they’d leave you unprotected. That’s complete bullshit. And to search you when you come back? To treat you like a fucking criminal for coming back when they’ve turned their backs on you? It’s crap. They’re the ones who should be searched and accused of being traitors. They let you down. Fucking bullshit.” I’ve never seen Liam get worked up like this. I feel like that’s how Louis would react to be honest. Well now I’ve seen how Louis is corrupting Liam too. I wonder how their dynamic has been, jut the two of them again.

“It doesn’t matter Liam. It is what it is. I’ll manage.”

“Like hell you will. I’ll be your contact.”

“Liam-”

“No, I mean it. You don’t have to tell me things but if you’re in danger or if you need help I want you to contact me. Do you have a phone in your place?”

“Louis already said he’s going to get me a burner,” I reply without thinking. For a brief moment I forgot that conversation happened at my place.

“You saw Louis?” Liam asks confused.

“Yeah, ran into him on my way in. He seemed a little distracted though. Think he was in the middle of doing something important.”

“And he didn’t kill the guy pointing a gun at you?” Shit. Of course Louis wouldn’t have let me up with some guy ready to kill me.

“It was before that. On my way up to the gate.” I sounded so confident and sure of what I was saying that even I began to believe myself. At least I’m good at coming up with stories off the top of my head. The only advantage I have in my mission really.

“Oh,” Liam laughs softly. “I was going to say there’s no way Louis wouldn’t have ripped him a new one.” I watch a fond smile form, his eyes squinting.

“Could you imagine though? Kind of wish he had seen him.” I picture Louis trying to confront my shadowed gunman. Louis was probably half his size, but his bark would’ve torn the man to shreds. I laugh to myself, thinking about it.

“So then you’ll have a way to contact us, yeah? Will you let me know the number? Or I can get it from Louis. Either way I want you to use it if you’re in any trouble.”

“Thank you Liam. I will. Promise.”

“Good. And if you need help I won’t judge your mission.” I force a smile back to him, knowing that couldn’t be further from the truth. “How long are you here for?”

“I don’t know. Can’t be too long, but a bit. Needed a break.”

“Feeling like your mission is suffocating you?”

“You have no idea,” I nod in agreement.

“Zayn used to always say that.”

“What?”

“He used to always say that he felt like he was suffocating here. I just thought he meant from all of the security, the precautions, the missions even but I guess he was really talking about the undercover life. I get that. It must be terrible. Trying to be someone you’re not all the time. Never really feeling like yourself. I understand why he needed it to stop, even if he didn’t go about it in the best way.”

“Yeah.” Why does Liam want to talk about Zayn right now? I know he means well but he’s doing the opposite of what he’s intending. “Do you think I can go up to see Harry? I want to talk to him about my mission since I haven’t had any new information on it.”

“Want me to go up with you?”

“You have access?” I didn’t mean to sound so surprised, I know he and Harry were friends. Are friends. It just blows my mind that he can get up there now.

“Yeah, got it a few days ago. Some of the lab work for my mission is up there.” I nod.

“Can you at least get me up there? I don’t know if the entire place will shutdown if I try after the front gate fiasco.”

“Of course I can. I’ll go with you as far as you want.” Liam smiles warmly. I miss that. There’s something about him that’s just so calming. Having Liam in your presence makes everything seem like it’ll be okay, even if it’s all going to shit. You know there’s one person in your corner. There always will be. “When did you want to go?”

“Now if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, come on.” Liam stands up, taking my glass from me. He puts them both in the sink and walks towards his door. “Lets go get you some answers.”


	19. Sanctuary

I stand in the elevator, unable to speak. I’m finally going to see Harry, after all my dreams of being in front of him again, and I have no idea how he’s going to react. I feel a little sick to be honest. Maybe this is a huge mistake. What if he isn’t happy to see me? I don’t know if I can handle that. Harry has been the only thing keeping me going on my mission. If he’s forgotten all about me, moved on and decided that I’m a traitor, I wouldn’t be able to go on. That sounds pathetic. When did I become so pathetic? Who am I? Honestly. This is a disgrace. The old Niall would hate me. I hate me. I can’t let Harry be the deciding factor in my happiness. What am I thinking? It was just a fling… something to keep us both busy during our down time here. I know that. We agreed to that. I need to remember that right now. No matter what happens, no matter what he says or does, I’m going to be fine. Fuck him if he isn’t happy.

“Niall, you alright?” I turn my head to see Liam looking at me, worried as usual. He has that look on his face like he’s not sure if he should say what he’s thinking. I smile and nod to him.

“Just a bit scared at the reaction I’ll get. If I’ll be dragged off or killed,” I force a laugh, making it all seem like a joke.

“I won’t let any of that happen.”

“I know,” I nod. “You’re a good friend.” The lift comes to a stop and the doors open. I take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. Harry couldn’t shoot Zayn, so why do I feel like he’ll shoot me?

“Do you want me to come with you?” Liam looks a little scared to be honest. I think part of him was worried what would happen if I ran into someone up here. I want to say no, more than anything in the world. I need to face Harry alone, but I can’t.

“If you would. At least just to his door?”

“Course,” Liam smiles. “Come on,” he puts an arm around my shoulder and walks down the hall. It’s different up here. Really different actually. I don’t think I would’ve been able to navigate it on my own to be honest. I keep turning my head to take it all in. There’s so much going on up here now. Who are all of these people? They all seem so important, running around with their heads down. Some are even in lab coats, while others are holding clipboards. It’s really strange.

“When did this all happen?” I ask, motioning around me.

“What do you mean? It’s always been like this.” Liam tilts his head to the side. “Hasn’t it?”

“Not when I used to come up here.”

“What was it like?”

“Empty…” I watch two people whisper to one another as they stare at me… is that all in my head or are they talking about me? I don’t even know them… maybe they know Liam.

“Really? It’s been like this ever since I started coming up. Always busy. There’s a bunch of different missions going on up here. I work in a room down that hall actually. It’s not a room you’d be thinking of, it’s gigantic. And Louis, he works down that way, to the left. A lot of informative and research based missions were moved here.”

“I wonder why…” I let my voice trail off, thinking back to Harry. He enjoyed his privacy. Why would he suddenly invite everyone up here to his floor?

“Here we are.” Liam smiles, pointing to an unfamiliar door.

“Where?”

“Harry’s office,” Liam laughs. “I thought you’ve been to it up here.

“This is Harry’s office? Since when does he have an office up here?”

“I thought you’ve been to his place here…”

“Yeah, his place not his office.”

“What’s the difference?” Liam sounds so confused. Probably as confused as I am. I feel like I stepped into another universe. Who knew so much could change in such a short period of time.

“Never mind. So this is his office then?”

“Yeah…”

“Do you just knock?”

“What else would you do?”

“I don’t know.” I don’t know anything anymore to be honest. I reach my hand up, knocking softly. We wait but there’s no answer. “Are you sure this is his office? I thought you said you haven’t seen him.”

“I haven’t, but this is it. That’s what Trad said anyway.”

“Right,” I look around again, trying to see if I could figure out where we actually were and how to get to Harry’s place from here. I reach out to the door, trying to open it. It’s locked. Course it is. I turn around and take a few steps, closing my eyes to try and remember the old floor layout. If I’m correct, Harry’s place should be down the hall, taking a left at the end, walking a few steps and turning right. I open my eyes back up and start walking that way.

“Where are you going?” Liam follows. I don’t answer. I just keep going over the directions in my mind. I’m going to find him if it’s the last thing that I do. Liam just walks behind me, not saying another word. This is when I love that he’s not Louis. He’s okay with silently following me, knowing I don’t want to talk right now. Louis would be talking a million words a minute, trying to figure out where I’m going. He wouldn’t stop until he was satisfied. He means well but he’d make me want to strangle him if he was here. I look back at Liam and smile. It’s almost like he can read my mind because he nods back. Okay, we’re almost there. His door should be just around this corner… bingo. There it is. Thank god. I walk up to it, turning back to Liam for a moment. I don’t know if I should ask him to leave or not. There are so many weird things going on. But this is Harry we’re talking about. He’s not going to hurt me. No matter what weird shit is happening, it’s logical. Behavioral analysis. It’s not in him to turn on me in this short period of time with no reasoning behind it. He couldn’t go through with hurting Zayn, despite all of the warnings, there’s no way I’m in any physical danger.

“I think…” I start to say, choosing my words wisely.

“I get it,” Liam nods. “This is something you need to do alone.” He hugs me, patting my back. “If you need anything, you let me know.”

“Thank you Liam. For everything.” He smiles and nods.

“I’ll see you soon, right?”

“Right.”

“Good,” he hugs me one more time and backs up slowly. “I hope you find the answers to whatever you’re looking for.” Then he turns around and heads back to the lift. Or his lab for his mission. I have no idea where he’s going. All I know is that I’m standing on the other side of Harry’s door. I reach out to it, entering in my code and waiting. There was a time when it would unlock for me, swinging open even if he wasn’t there. I wait, trying to push it open. Nothing happens. Is he trying to avoid me? I enter my code again, wondering if maybe he didn’t hear the voice telling him it’s me outside. Maybe it’s broken. After a few more minutes I hear someone unlocking the door. It cracks open and Harry is peering at me from the inside.

“Niall?” He looks fucking miserable. He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me… What’s going on with you?” I hesitate before taking a step forward. Harry smiles wide, pulling me into a tight hug.

“What are you doing here?” He pulls back, looking at me. His smile doesn’t falter though. If anything it only gets brighter. I watch the color come back into his face, his eyes growing every second. Maybe he was just tired or bored. I probably woke him up to be honest. He sleeps at weird hours. Takes it whenever he can.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Come in, please.” He jumps back, allowing me to walk into his place. So he’s happy I’m here. Should I bring everything up? Maybe I’ll start with the little things.

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad? At you? Never,” he laughs.

“I’m serious, I thought you were going to terminate me.”

“Why?”

“Seriously? Why? There’s no way you don’t know. Harry you run the place.”

“Know what Niall? You’re starting to scare me.”

“I couldn’t get in. My code at the gate of the compound set off some weird security breach. Two men came out, one searched me and the other followed me inside with a gun to my back. Every move I made, he made. Didn’t leave me alone till Liam told him off. Said he had orders to stay with me the entire time I was here.”

“What?” Harry’s smile finally fades. He looks confused. Childlike even, trying so hard to figure out how that happened.

“You didn’t order that?”

“No Niall. Of course I wouldn’t. Why would you even think that?” His voice rises a little bit before his face softens. “I’m sorry, I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at the system. I don’t understand why it would do that…” He shakes his head.

“It’s okay,” I take a few steps closer to him and smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad it wasn’t you.”

“How can you say it doesn’t matter? You could’ve been shot and I had no idea that it was going on. I didn’t even know you were here Niall. That’s pathetic. I should’ve known you came back. I should’ve stopped that.”

“Hey,” I wrap my arms around him. “I’m okay. Nothing terrible happened. So I was annoyed, big deal. They didn’t hurt me.”

“I’m failing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know where my head has been lately Niall. It’s terrible. One minute I’m thinking of something I need to do and the next I’m doing something completely unrelated. I can’t keep my thoughts straight. I’ve been so out of it. I don’t even know what’s going on in my own security team. What kind of a leader am I?”

“One that’s overstressed and overworked.” I nuzzle my nose against his neck, rubbing my hands up and down the small of his back. “You need a vacation.” Harry starts laughing.

“Can you come with me?”

“Absolutely. I’d go anywhere with you.”

“Lets go, right now. Lets just run away.” I lift my head to look into his eyes. He actually seems serious. “We can do it you know. We can start a new life. I’ll make us new identities all on my own. No one has to know. We can get a fresh start out in the country somewhere. Just the two of us.” He sounds so convincing. I allow his thoughts to wash over me, picturing the perfect life. Then my mind flashes to Zayn. There’s no way we’d be able to escape him.

“You’d never be safe,” I remind Harry. He looks at me, upset that I’m ruining his fantasy. “Not until I’m done with my mission. Then we can do it. You deserve to get out of here.”

“But you’re not safe now,” Harry places his hand gently on my cheek. I wonder if he knows something that I don’t. Maybe there’s something new in my file or on Zayn that he hasn’t told me. A reason he wants to get me out of here… the explanation behind his disheveled appearance.

“Can we set a rule in place?”

“You’re going to give me a rule?” He laughs.

“Yes I am. Boss or no boss, this is sanctuary. In here, for today, there’s no talk of missions or The League. Today it’s just you and me.” Harry smiles, leaning down to kiss me.

“I think that’s a brilliant idea.” He rests his forehead against mine. “I don’t want to get you sick though. I think I’m coming down with something.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” I tilt my head forward and kiss him again. I feel him smile against my lips.

“I really missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“Whose idea was it to send you away again?”

“I’m pretty sure that was yours.”

“It was a stupid one. Probably my worst idea yet.”

“It doesn’t matter now, I’m here.” Harry wraps his arms tightly around me.

“If I never let you go, you can’t leave.” He whispers into my ear. “I could hold you hostage up here.”

“There’s one problem with your plan.”

“And what’s that?”

“Louis will break the door down looking for answers on what happened to me.” Harry starts to laugh, pulling back slowly.

“He really would.”

“Did you know he knows?”

“What?”

“Yeah, he knows all about my mission. Showed up at my apartment in a rage the other night going on and on about it. Couldn’t believe I kept it from him.”

“How did he find out? Why would he go there? You could’ve been compromised Niall.”

“Hey, I’m fine.” I move my hand up to his cheek, gently stroking it. “It worked out okay. He showed up at some ungodly hour. No one was around.”

“That’s inexcusable.”

“Don’t punish him. Harry, it’s fine.”

“How did he find out?”

“Trad told him.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“That’s what he told me anyway. Said he kept hearing mentions of some Neil person under covered. It seemed important so naturally his curiosity got the best of him. He couldn’t let it go. Kept pestering Trad during their mission until he gave in and told him everything.”

“What is wrong with him? Doesn’t he know how dangerous that is for you? This mission is strictly classified for a reason.” I smiled, watching Harry become protective of me. It’s so different than anything I’ve seen before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice when Liam or Louis want to stand up for me but this is just so different. I can’t even begin to explain it. The look in his eyes alone is driven by something different. Something more. I love it.

“It’s Louis. No one can put up with him when he doesn’t get his way.” I smile again, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“There’s no excuse. This is your safety we’re talking about Niall. I won’t take any chances with it.” I lean my body against him, kissing him one more time.

“I know I’m safe as long as you’re in charge. I’m not worried.”

“I have been watching, almost every step of the way. I must’ve dosed off when Louis showed up but I have the recording. There are cameras in the café, in your place, on streetlights outside, even in your contacts. I know everything that’s been going on. You haven’t been alone Niall. You never will be.”

“I know,” I kiss him again, holding it a little longer this time. It’s nice to finally have reassurance that he has been watching. “What happened to my rule though?”

“How can you expect me to listen to it when you’ve just informed me that you could be in danger?”

“I’m pretty sure those exact words never came out of my mouth.”

“This is serious Niall,” he moves his hands to grab mine, moving them off his body. “If anything happens to you because of this mission…” His voice starts to fade out. “Because of me…” He tries to begin again but falls short.

“It’s Louis. He’s just going to be helpful if anything. He said he knows Zayn pretty well. Maybe it’ll be beneficial in the long run.”

“No. I don’t want you talking to him about Zayn.” I wanted to press him on the subject a little more, the curiosity in me being intrigued, but not now. Fuck it right now. I don’t care. All I care about is having a nice, happy little reunion with Harry. Fuck Zayn. Fuck Louis. And fuck The League.

“Okay, fine, whatever you want Harry. I promise. Can we stop talking about it now? Please?” I stick my bottom lip out, pleading with him. I watch a smile spread across his face.

“You know you’re cute when you beg,” he lets go of my hands and wraps his arms back around me.

“Sanctuary?”

“Sanctuary.” He leans in, stopping his lips right before touching mine. “I really have missed you, you know.” I close the gap, humming in agreement.

“I know,” I say as I pull back. “We can make up for lost time.”

“How long are you staying here?”

“As long as you let me.”

“Then I guess you’re never leaving.” I feel Harry’s body almost fall against mine.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he tries to laugh it off. “Just a little tired. I told you I was coming down with something.”

“Come on, lets go lay down. You can tell me all about this country idea of yours.” I kiss him one more time before leading him to his bed.

“You’d love it in the country.” I watch him smile fondly. “We can go somewhere where we’d have acres of land. Nothing but green as far as the eye can see.” We walk into his room and I help him lay down. He pulls me on top of him. “We can even own a few animals. Let them eat the grass and roam freely. They’ll be just as happy as we are.”

“That sounds nice,” I smile back, kissing his cheek. I roll over, lying next to him. Harry readjusts himself so that his head is on my chest. I can tell he was getting more exhausted with every word. I wonder how long he’s been fighting the urge to go to sleep. I could see it on him when he opened the door. I hate that he’s been sick and I wasn’t here to take care of him. I run my hands through his hair.

“We can pick our names. We can be anyone we want to be. It won’t matter. As long as we’ll be together.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“We can plant food too. Grow whatever we wanted to eat. We wouldn’t need to ever go into town. No one has to know where we are. We’d be in our own little world.” I watch him yawn, his eyes closing.

“I’ve never heard anything more appealing in my life Harry.” I close my eyes too, picturing it.

“And you know what the best part would be?”

“What?”

“We’d never be apart again.” I open my eyes, smiling down at him. For the first time I realize that he feels the exact same that way I do. I’ve thought it occasionally but no matter how close I get to Harry I can tell there’s still something he’s holding back from me, something he won’t tell me. It makes it hard to read him completely, almost impossible to know what his feelings are, but now… right now in this moment, all of his guards are down. It’s clear his feelings are real. Before I can even reply to his last statement I hear him snoring. I laugh to myself, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. I missed that. I missed this. I need to step my mission into overdrive. This is all I needed, just a little motivation to get me going again. As soon as I get back, nothing is stopping me. I’m going to be the best damn friend Zayn has ever had. He won’t even think of putting his guard up around me. It’s time to come home.


	20. Never Judge A Book By It's Cover

I’ve been staring at Harry sleep for over an hour. Any time I think of getting out of bed I feel his head move slightly and stop myself. I don’t want to wake him. He’s so peaceful and innocent. I forgot how beautiful he is when he sleeps. Just looking at him makes me smile. What did Harry do to me? I’m fighting a battle I don’t think I can win anymore. I keep trying to pretend that this is a fling, that I’m still in my old ways but…

“Niall,” Harry groggily interrupts my thoughts. Thank god. I didn’t even want to say it in my head.

“Yeah? I’m here.”

“Good,” he sleepily opens his eyes, rubbing at them. “I was afraid you would’ve slipped out.”

“Never,” I lean down to kiss him. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” he rubs his eyes again. He doesn’t sound okay.

“Maybe I should stay another day.”

“That would be nice,” Harry whispers. I look down at him, trying to read his mind. He closes his eyes again, letting out a long sigh. “But you won’t.”

“Harry, I-”

“It’s okay Niall, I know. You’re doing this for me. For all of us,” he opens his eyes back up, smiling weakly. “I’m not upset. I understand.”

“I would stay, for you. If you needed me to.”

“Why, because I have a small cold?” He laughs, reaching a hand up to my face. “I love how much you worry about me. I’m fine though. You should go.”

“Harry-”

“No, I want you to go… I don’t want you to go, go, but I want you to go. Because Zayn will know something is off and you’ll be in danger. And honestly, that’s the last thing I can handle right now. I need to know you’re safe. It’s been driving me crazy watching everything happening and knowing I can’t be there to protect you.”

“I know,” I lean down to kiss him again, letting my lips linger a little longer this time.

“Just promise me you’ll come back again soon. It’s bearable this way.”

“As long as you promise me I won’t get shot at the gate next time.” I laugh, meaning it to be a joke but Harry seems upset.

“I’m going to shoot whoever did that.” He sits up slowly, pressing his thumb and index finger at the bridge of his nose.

“It’s fine, I understand precaution. I’m under cover, my allegiance could be compromised. It makes sense,” I shrug, trying to downplay how I feel. I don’t want to add any more stress onto Harry at the moment. It’s taking a toll on his wellbeing.

“No. Not you. Never you. I don’t want you thinking I don’t trust you Niall-”

“Hey,” I cut him off before he can continue. “I don’t think that at all. You’re a leader Harry. You have to set examples. If you’re following a protocol that all under cover members are put on a watch list then keep me on it. I shouldn’t get any special attention.”

“But that’s just it, there is no protocol for it. The only times we put people on a tightened security like that is if during their missions we’ve noticed some things that don’t add up. If there’s been questioning actions. Or if we can see they aren’t still holding The League’s best interests above all. I’ve been watching you though. You haven’t shown any signs. There’s no reason for anyone to doubt your intentions and put you on watch. Whoever did that fucked up and they’re going to know it.”

“Just promise me you’ll wait until you feel better, please.”

“I feel fine.”

“You’re exhausted. Save your strength and yell when you’re well rested. It’ll be scarier that way.”

“I do like to be scary.” Harry smiles, leaning his head onto my shoulder. “Okay, I’ll wait.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you leaving soon?”

“I probably should.”

“You probably should’ve left last night,” Harry softly laughs.

“It’s a good thing I don’t follow anyone else’s rules then.” Harry lifts his head and looks at me. He seems serious all of a sudden. His eyes even look a little darker.

“Be careful, okay? I know I didn’t get to say anything last time when you left but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking it.”

“I know, I felt it.” I place my hand on top of his, squeezing it like he did in the car before I left for my new life.

“I was hoping you would.”

“I’m a skilled agent Harry, I know how to read people.” I smirk and wink towards him. Harry just bursts out laughing. He tilts his head back and claps his hands onto his knees. To be honest I didn’t think it was that funny, maybe my delivery helped sell it but he just can’t stop laughing. I’m not going to complain though. I really, really, missed that sound.

“Yeah, lets go with that then.”

“Can we agree on one last thing?”

“What’s that?”

“That in a few minutes, when I get up to go, it’s not a long drawn out, sappy goodbye. Because it isn’t like I won’t be back. We’ve seen I can do it. I will be soon. I won’t let it go on without coming back.”

“Only if you promise you’ll only come back if it is safe,” his smile drops off completely. “I don’t want you to risk it.”

“I know. I wouldn’t. That would just put you in more danger than before.”

“Alright. It looks like we have an agreement then.”

“Good.” I lean in and kiss him one last time, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Real soon,” I nod. “Get some rest.”

“Yeah. I will.”

“I mean it. As soon as I leave I want you to go back to sleep.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the boss?”

“Not today,” I wink. Harry just laughs. “Next time I come over I need you to be back to your old self.”

“I will be.”

“See you later then.” I pull back, getting out of the bed. As soon as I lean down to put on my shoes I watch Harry slump back against the headboard. I turn to watch his eyes start to droop down. I knew he was still exhausted. Hopefully he’ll be able to get more rest now. I tiptoe out of the room, extra careful to not make a single sound. I guess it’s back to being Neil.

 

“Neil?” I hear a light knock on my door. “Are you all right?” I walk over towards where the sound is coming from, visibly exhausted. I didn’t get much sleep last night if I’m being honest. I stayed up watching Harry, making sure he was okay. Or maybe it was just because I didn’t want to close my eyes because I was afraid it would all be a dream. Hell it might’ve been a little bit of both. I could even be coming down with whatever he has. I open the door, mouth falling open.

“Zayn?”

“Yeah, you all right mate? You didn’t show up yesterday so I came by and there was no answer. Got me worried something was wrong.”

“Sorry,” I shook my head, unable to say anything else.

“You feeling okay? You look knackered.”

“Just a little under the weather is all.”

“There has been something going around. You have anyone taking care of you?”

“What?” I stare at him blankly. I think I embarrassed him because he smiles down to the floor, scratching the back of his neck.

“I just mean, I know you’re on your own. Probably haven’t left your bed, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he’s basically coming up with my cover story for me. This is perfect.

“Do you have anything to eat in there? Some juices?”

“No,” I shrug. “Haven’t actually had anything to eat in a day I think.” To be fair that wasn’t a lie. I don’t remember the last time I ate. That’s pretty unusual for me. I guess I was so caught up in Harry that I wasn’t thinking about meself.

“Why don’t you lay down on your couch right there and I’ll be back with some things for you, yeah?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I want to. Go on. Go back to resting. Do you want to leave the door unlocked? Then you won’t even have to get up when I’m back.”

“Um yeah. Thank you.” I smile, trying to think of something to say. Before I even can he turns around and heads down the hall. I shut the door, walking over towards the couch. That was strange… Why is he being so kind to me? Shouldn’t he have been more cautious on why I suddenly skipped out on a gig I never miss? Either I really look like crap from getting no sleep or he’s actually stupider than I’ve been told to believe. I don’t know why he’s so hard to figure out. It’s almost like no one knows who Zayn really is. Every story I’ve heard, people describe him differently. It makes it near impossible to read him. Whenever I think I understand him, he goes and does something completely off script. Like this. I thought he was going to ask me where I was, for sure, but I didn’t think he’d show up at my place worried. Not only did he come today he said he came last night and there was no answer. I could’ve really fucked this all up. I rest my head against the couch, trying to think of everything I know about Zayn. What has Louis always said? What about Harry? And Liam? Every story, each incident I’ve heard about, shows their own relationship to Zayn rather than Zayn as a person. Maybe that’s it. That could be how he always seems to get away without people knowing him. He adapts based on the person he’s with. For Liam, he was strong, understanding, caring… a lot like Liam to be honest. I’ve always thought that, whenever Liam would gush about Zayn I pictured them to be pretty similar. Than Louis would talk about him. He would never say anything positive so it’s a little harder to be able to see the similarities but anyone who knows Louis knows he can be a pain in the ass. He’s sneaky, which isn’t always a bad thing but I can tell he and Zayn had that in common. They were mischievous together, again something Louis has down pat. It’s kind of frightening to realize this now. How do you get to know someone who doesn’t have his own personality? Then again, he seems like he’s his own man when I’m with him. He’s not adapting to me, is he? I try to think of every interaction I’ve ever had with Zayn. He’s told me he hates running even though I claimed to love it so that’s different. He’s not really into football so again he’s keeping his own likes. He’s been really caring though, even when I haven’t seemed to be open with him… is he being himself when he’s with me? Maybe his plan when he was trying to fit in at The League was to mirror who he was with. That’s a quick way to gain anyone’s trust. We tend to hangout with people just like ourselves. So does that mean this is the real him? Do I actually know Zayn better than Liam, Louis and Harry?

“Neil?” Zayn knocks once before slowly opening the door. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” I sit up slowly, trying to play up the sick act.

“Easy,” he walks over to me. “I didn’t know what you’d like so I just got a bunch of things. Figured I can’t go wrong this way.” He places the bags onto the table in front of me, making a face as it wobbles.

“It’ll hold. I think.”

“So this is where you live?” Zayn forces a smile and I laugh.

“Not exactly posh is it. Sorry. If I had known you were coming I would’ve tried to do something… dunno what really…”

“No, it’s… it’s nice.”

“Mate its shit. I’m not ashamed.”

“I got you some soup, crackers, bread to make some toast if you’d prefer that, and I also got a few different juices for you. Tea too. I figured you like tea, yeah?”

“You really didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“I know, but I wanted to. It’s never fun being sick. Especially if you live on your own.” I thought of Harry sitting alone in his room and suddenly felt super guilty. I shouldn’t have have left him. I know I needed to, and it’s good that I did because if Zayn came by again and I wasn’t here I would’ve been screwed, but I feel like crap. All I want to do is run to Harry and take care of him like Zayn is doing to me… Maybe he is adapting to who I really am.

“Thank you.”

“Course,” he smiles. “Is there anything that makes you feel better? A show or movie you like to watch when you’re sick? A blanket in your closet I can get you?”

“Something to remind me of home?” I laugh a little closing my eyes. “No, I try not to think of it much.” I don’t know why I said that. It’s like I forgot I’m someone else for a moment. That wasn’t a Neil answer, that was purely Niall. I stop for a moment trying to think of how to explain that. I could backtrack and say it reminds me of what happened. That works. Any reminder of home is a reminder of what went wrong, what I lost… lets go with that.

“I’m sorry,” Zayn says before I can explain. “I should’ve thought before I said that. I know your past is hard on you.”

“No it’s fine.”

“Are you cold? Can I get you something else?”

“You can sit down and stop worrying so much. I’m fine. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to take care of me. Did you eat today?”

“No, I guess not,” he laughs. I watch him look down embarrassed.

“There then. We can eat together.” I reach over, opening the bags to see what our options were. “Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable… or as comfortable as you can I guess.”

“No, it’s lovely. Really.” Zayn sits down, smiling at me. “Quite comfortable too actually.”

“Surprising right? It was a find for sure. Think no one wanted it because it just looks like it’ll destroy you.”

“You should never judge a book by its cover.” I let those words sink over me for a minute.

“It’s true,” I nod in agreement. “One of those things you grow up hearing but never really listen to innit? But it’s always been right.” I laugh thinking back to the first time I laid eyes on Harry. How cruel and heartless I thought he must have been. I couldn’t have been further from the truth if I tried. After a few moments of silence I look over at Zayn. He’s probably bored out of his mind. “Sorry I don’t have anything better for entertaining.”

“What?”

“I don’t even have a way to put on a football game or something,” I shrug. “This is basically all I’ve got.”

“It’s fine,” he shakes his head. “I’m not one for football anyway. Besides it just pulls away from the company you’re in. I actually prefer this. Makes it easier to talk to you.” He smiles and I look away. I feel so guilty all of a sudden. Zayn is going out of his way to be nice to me, to actually get to know me and care for me, but all I’m doing is giving him an act. Why should I feel guilty? He did the same thing to Harry. To Louis. Hell he did it to Liam. Anyone who could do that to Liam deserves to be shot right on the spot. There we go. Guilt gone. “How long do you think you’ll be out sick for? I know you mentioned you were tight on funds. This can’t be helping.” His eyes actually look like they’re sad for me. It’s hard to describe but just looking at him makes me want to cry.

“Yeah,” I softly reply. “I try not to think about it much.”

“If you need some , I actually know a few odd jobs you can pick up.”

“What?” I look at him, trying to figure out where he’s going with this.

“Just stupid things people hate to do. Paint a room, watch after a garden. Things like that.”

“Really? I don’t want you doing me any favors. I’m not looking for a handout.”

“No, I know. That’s not what this is at all,” he smiles. “I actually need someone to help me repaint my place. Just got it, brand new, but haven’t had the time to make the improvements I’ve wanted to. Been looking for months actually but I never have the time to commit. I’ll pay you what I would’ve paid someone else.” I look down, avoiding his eyes. I know I’m supposed to be hurting for money but is that a good idea? Should I blindly walk into Zayn’s place? Does he even have is own place? Doesn’t he have to live with all the other members of The Knights? What if that’s the plan all along? It could be a trap. He could know who I am, where I’ve been and use this story to lure me. “I promise I won’t be a pain in the ass to work for.” He smiles, tilting his head a little. I know I can’t take too much more time to think about it without sending off alarms. It really should be an easy answer if I’m as desperate as I say in the money department.

“Okay, sure. Sounds good.” I smile back and Zayn’s smile seems to double in size.

“Great! We can talk about a schedule as soon as you’re feeling better.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I look down at the floor, letting the silence wash over me. What the hell did I just agree to?


	21. It Was His Order

I wake up, full of life. I don’t know what happened to me last night but I feel like I could take on the world right now. Maybe I’ll go for a morning jog before I get ready for my gig. Zayn will obviously be there. I still don’t know what to make of him, but if I was coming down with something he clearly has the solution. I should ask him how to make Harry some get-well food. That would be a great conversation. I laugh to myself as I open the door, staring down at the little package at my feet… that’s weird. I bend down to pick it up, cautious that it might blow up or something. The label is typed up with my name and address. Nothing out of the ordinary. I slowly walk over to my table, placing it on top. Maybe Harry thought I needed something else for my under cover life? But what could it be… Guess there’s only one way to find out what it is really. I head into the kitchen, looking for a knife I can use to open it. There we go. I walk back to the package, kneeling in front of it. I press the knife against the tape, gliding it along the side. I pull the flap open. A phone? Oh right, Louis. I pick it up, inspecting it closely. I hit the contacts list and two entries pop up. One is under the letter J and the other under W. Right. So how am I supposed to know what that means? Whatever. I’ll figure it out later. It’s not like I need it now. Besides whoever texts me first I’ll clearly be able to tell who it is. Most likely… Now back to my run. I need to keep my head straight if I’m going to get through the day.

 

I jog up the stairs of my building out of breath. Didn’t I promise myself I was going to workout more? I guess that’s slipped my mind recently. In my defense, there has been a lot going on lately. Sometimes you just need to prioritize. Oh well. I’ll get back into it now. I open the door to my flat and walk in. Home shit home. I drop my keys and head to the kitchen. I need some water bad. As I pull out a glass hear the phone vibrate on the table. That’s weird. Probably just Louis making sure I got it. I’ll get that later. Right now I need to hydrate and jump in the shower.

 

Bloody hell, will that thing ever stop? I bet it’s been going off the entire time I was in the bathroom. What the fuck is it? I run over to the phone, picking it up. There’s five messages from J and three missed calls… what the fuck is wrong? All of the messages just say the same thing, _Call me as soon as you get this._ Talk about vague. Clearly I haven’t gotten them yet mate. What could be this important? I hit the call back button and wait. It has to be Louis. No one is this annoying when you ignore them. Part of me feels guilt with each passing ring. What if something really is wrong and I’ve been taking my sweet ass time getting back to him?

“Finally,” I hear Liam breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Liam?”

“Yeah, you all right? Had me worried sick.”

“I’m fine… are YOU all right? Left me a million messages.”

“I need you to come back here.”

“What?”

“It’s the only place that’s safe. I need to talk to you. It’s really important Niall. Life or death important.”

“Okay, okay. Calm down. I need you to think rationally for a minute all right? Now, honestly, how dire is it? I have a thing I need to do for my undercover in about fifteen minutes and I don’t think I can blow it off again without raising suspicions.”

“How long will it take?”

“Bout an hour.”

“And then you’re free the rest of the day?”

“Can be.”

“Fine. Just text me when you’re near the gate. I’ll come get you and let you in. You won’t have to worry about all of that crap again.”

“Are you sure it can wait? I’ll skip this shit for you. You know that right? No matter what, you guys come first.”

“No, do it. Undercover comes first. I’m not going to put you in danger. I’m fine. I can wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later.” I hear the click as the line goes dead. Well, that was unexpected. I’ve never heard Liam so worked up before. Maybe I should skip the performance. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t go… then again Zayn would really be suspicious. He’d stop by here for sure. No. I have to go. I should finish getting dressed so I’m not late.

I walk down the street, letting my guitar hit against my body. What could Liam need to tell me? Is it really life or death? That was unfair of him to say. I hope it isn’t Harry. Oh god, what if it is? What if he’s super sick? Fuck. I need to go to him now. Forget this shit.

“Neil! How ya feeling mate?” Zayn smiles as he walks towards me.

“Okay. You?” We stop across from one another, standing in front of the door.

“You don’t sound it. You alright?”

“Yeah. Just still a little out of it. Gonna take a nap as soon as I’m done.”

“You sure you can sing today?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine.” I force a smile and pull the door open.

“Cheers,” Zayn nods and walks inside. I stand there an extra second, taking in a deep breath. This is going to be the longest hour of my life. No matter what I try to do I can’t shake the thought of Harry out of my head. But would Liam call me for that? What if it’s Louis? Of course it was Louis, this is Liam we’re talking about. Who else would have him that rattled? I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel a little bit of relief at the realization that Harry isn’t the one in danger, but I don’t. I care about Louis too, and if he’s the one in trouble that doesn’t fix anything. “Neil?”

“What?”

“Are you coming in?” Zayn cocks his head to the side.

“Sorry, yeah.” I walk inside, letting the door shut behind me.

“You sure you’re fine?”

“Just got a lot on my mind,” I shrug. “The usual.”

“I’d love to understand what goes on in there,” he laughs. “You always seem to be so deep in thought on something.”

“Mostly I’m just faking it.” Zayn laughs, nodding along.

“Well then we must have that in common.”

“Brooding seems to be popular these days.” I wink and jump up onto the little stage. I lay my guitar down, letting my mind flash back to Liam’s voice. He sounded frazzled. He never sounds like that. Liam’s the one who always appears to be calm. He’s the adult in any situation. The one who knows what to say and when to say it. Why didn’t I just head straight to the compound? I know better. Something is wrong. I can’t shake this gut wrenching feeling. Everything I know is about to change and I’m stuck playing shit covers in this hellhole while Zayn stares at my every move. Maybe I can leave early, stop mid set and say I’m not feeling well enough to go on. That might work… but Zayn would insist on checking up on me. I’ll never get him off my back. Sometimes his nice guy act is really inconvenient.

 

Finally after an hour I quickly pack up. I pat my back pocket to make sure the phone is still there. It is. As soon as I’m out of range I’m calling for a car. I don’t care how expensive it is, the fastest ride wins. “You still good?” I turn around to see Zayn standing in front of me.

“Yeah, just gonna go home and nap.” I yawn, hoping he takes a hint that I’m not looking for a conversation.

“Need anything? Got food and fluids?”

“No I’m good. Still got all the stuff you brought the other day, thanks.”

“Take it easy, yeah?”

“I will,” I nod. I try to leave slow enough to not raise any alarms. If I run out of there after complaining to be exhausted I might tip Zayn off. Then again he’s never suspicious around me. Unless he’s really good at hiding it. I wave to Zayn and head out the door, counting my steps away from the café. As soon as I turn a corner I pull my phone out. First number I dial is a car service. I arrange to have them pick me up a few streets away. I figure by the time they get there, I will too. As soon as I hang up I dial Liam.

“Niall?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you coming?”

“Yeah, just got a car. What’s going on?”

“No, I need to tell you in person.”

“For fucks sake Liam, you’re scaring the shit out of me.”

“I’m scaring myself,” I hear the tremor in his voice. I try to picture him, all alone in his room pacing around like a lunatic. I hope he’s not alone. There’s nothing worse than that image.

“Are you by yourself?”

“Yeah.” Fuck. It has to be Louis then.

“Where’s Louis?”

“No.”

“What?” His reply catches me off guard. “No what Liam?”

“He can’t know.”

“Know what? What’s going on?”

“I told you, as soon as you get here I’ll fill you in. I don’t trust the phone line.”

“But you trust the privacy in the compound,” I laugh.

“No, but I trust my car. When you’re at the bottom of the hill I’ll come get you. We can sit in there and talk.”

“Okay now you’re really freaking me out.” I stop at a bench, looking for the car that’s supposed to be picking me up.

“I’ve already said too much,” Liam practically whispers.

“Are you kidding me? You haven’t said a word!”

“Just call me when you’re here, yeah?”

“Hold on. Is everyone all right? Can you tell me that at least? I’ve been going crazy thinking one of you is bleeding out on their bed or some shit.”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? What kind of fucked up answer is that?”

“I mean yes,” I can hear confusion in his voice.

“What?”

“I’m fine. Louis is fine.”

“And Harry?”

“Fine too I guess.”

“So this doesn’t involve them?”

“Not directly.” I could strangle him with how vague he’s being.

“Alright, fine. I can tell I’m not getting any answers from you. My car is pulling up now so I’ll see you in about 15 minutes yeah?”

“Sounds good. I’ll probably be waiting for you anyway. Might go now.”

“You sure there’s nothing you can tell me on the phone?”

“Positive. See ya soon.” I hear the click as Liam hangs up. Why do I feel like I know even less than I did before? He’s driving me crazy. Liam never pulls this shit. He’s an open book. If you want to know anything just ask him. He’ll go on and on until you’re satisfied with the amount of information he’s provided.

 

The car pulls up to the bottom of the hill and sure enough Liam’s car is sitting there. I hop out and walk up to him. “What the hell is going on?” I ask as soon as I open the door.

“Get in.” Liam looks like shit.

“Have you slept since I last saw you?” I close the door and sit facing him as much as I can.

“Zayn’s alive.”

“What?” His words catch me off guard so much that I don't even have to pretend to be surprised. I genuinely am.

“He’s alive Niall.”

“How do you know this?”

“He reached out to me.” Liam sounds like he’s in the middle of his hundredth panic attack of the day.

“Relax. Breathe.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

“He sent me a sign. Ordered some food up to the compound to my name. Used my number and everything. I kept it, my old number just in case he ever wanted to reach me but it was him. I know it. It was our old order… Look Niall, every Monday night we’d order the same thing. The same exact thing. Kind of like our way to celebrate getting through the day. And yesterday, yesterday it came to my room just like it always would.”

“How do you know-”

“It was his order!” Liam cuts me off. “You have to understand he likes things a precise way. It’s not even on the menu but they’d make it for him because they knew us so well. No one else would know that. It has to be him. There’s no way it could be someone else. Not even Louis would know to do that.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Niall, Zayn is alive and he’s reaching out to me. I think he needs my help. Someone might be targeting him.” The look on Liam’s face makes me want to curl up into a ball and die. “He wouldn’t risk contacting me if it wasn’t important Niall. He knows what The League would do to him. What Louis would do to him. If he’s making an effort like this, it’s life or death.”

“Right,” my voice is so weak I barely even hear it.

“Promise me you’ll help me.”

“What?”

“I know you don’t know him and I know this isn’t your battle, but I need your help Niall. Whatever it is, I need to figure out what he’s trying to say. I owe him that much.”

“I can’t-”

“Please Niall. I’m begging you.” I look at Liam. He’s honestly about to start bawling. I’ve never seen him so distraught before in my life. I feel my heart slowly breaking as I think about what he’s asking of me. What’s he going to think when he finds out the truth? If he’s hell bent on this, helping Zayn and reaching back out to him, he’s going to get me killed.

“I’m undercover. I don’t have the time.”

“You’re the only one who can help me. Louis would kill him on his own and I clearly can’t go to Harry on this. And there’s no one else that I trust Niall. It’s you. Only you.”

“I don’t even know what to do,” I try to think of anything I can to object. I wish I knew what to say. I just never saw this coming.

“Neither do I, but we need to do something. He’s reaching out to me. There has to be a reason. I know him. He doesn’t do anything without thinking of all of the possible outcomes.”

“I know but how can you even find out? You don’t have a way to contact him and you have no idea where he is.”

“I need to find him.” My mind flashes to how terrible that really would be for me. If Liam finds Zayn my cover is 100% blown. If I help him find Zayn my cover is also blown. I’m fucked no matter what happens. I need to talk him out of this.

“Liam, are you sure that’s a smart idea?”

“Of course not, but it doesn’t matter.”

“He’s-”

“He’s one of my best friends. You promised me you’d keep an open mind on him once, remember? Don’t tell me they’ve brainwashed you against him. What happened to all that talk about not knowing him so you can’t make any rash judgments? He’s a good man Niall, one of the best I’ve ever known.”

“I know how you feel about him but-”

“If it were you, I’d do the same thing Niall.” I feel a pang of guilt growing stronger. Can you die from feeling guilty? Because I think it might just happen. I feel my entire body start to ache, my head slowly pounding.

“But it’s not me. It’s someone who wants me dead, wants all of us dead.”

“That’s not true,” Liam screams. I freeze, unsure of how to react. I’ve never heard him this upset before. It’s truly terrifying. “He would never harm us. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I know he’s tried before.”

“You don’t know shit. I can’t believe I trusted you. I came to you with one of the most important decisions in my life and you’re picking their side?” Liam looks betrayed. He looks like I just walked right up to him and stabbed him through the heart. I can’t take this any longer.

“You can trust me Liam. You were right to trust me. I’ll do what I can, yeah? Just promise me we’ll be smart about this. You can’t do any digging. You’re known to the Knights and-”

“What? How do you know that?”

“How I know that isn’t important, just trust me on this. I’m undercover. I’m already out there. I’ll find out if he’s in trouble and how to reach him. You have my word.” I feel terrible lying to him like that. Though if you think about it, it isn’t a lie. He IS known by the knights, so him going off on some quest to find Zayn is the stupidest thing he could ever do. I’m not about to let him get himself killed. And I AM going to find out if Zayn is in trouble… well any more trouble than my assignment. I’ll watch after him, for now. I can keep my word on that. But the most important thing is keeping Liam out of harm’s way. If I have to tell a few white lies to do it, I will. Even if I have to step it up and kill Zayn before he finds anything out, I will.

“You know more about this, don’t you?” Liam’s eyes were practically pulling my heart apart. I hate this. I fucking hate this so much. I can’t disappoint him. What is he going to do when he finds out I killed Zayn? If I complete this mission, will he ever forgive me? I can’t stand having Liam hate me the rest of my life. I might even let him terminate me right after. Save him and me both the trouble of going through that shit. Anything to help him feel better.

“I know more about his past… he’s done a lot you don’t know Liam, I just want you to be aware of that. You need to be careful right now. This could be a trap.”

“It’s not.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I know Zayn. Trust me, I’ve thought this over twenty thousand times and then a few more. I’ve looked at it every way possible. But no matter what, the bottom line remains. Zayn IS alive. I have my confirmation. After all this time, my friend is still here and he’s probably terrified. Do you realize the danger he put himself in by contacting me at all? What if I went to Harry of Louis? There were a thousand different ways I could have reacted, but Zayn knows me. He trusts me, as I trust him. There’s nothing in this world that will ever change that. He won’t hurt me. He’s not going to put my life in danger.”

“You don’t know that Liam.”

“I do Niall, just as I know you’d never hurt me.” I look away, trying so hard not to break down with him. “Look, I know this puts you in a difficult position with the rest of the guys, but I know you can handle it. You’ve always said you can’t hold Zayn’s past against him without hearing his side, so I need you to be with me on this.”

“I told you I’d look into it, didn’t I? As long as you keep your end of the deal, if you stay safe and out of it, I’ll look into it. I just can’t have you getting yourself killed for him. I don’t care how good you think he is, he’s not worth your life.”

“I beg to differ,” Liam practically whispers. In this moment I realize I’m never getting Liam back. It’s over. He’s never going to look at me the same. Is it too late to reject my mission? Just the thought of losing Liam forever is unbearable. Knowing I’m going to be the one to break his positive outlook on the world, his trusting soul… it’s too much. What the hell have I done?


	22. He's Our Friend Too

We sit in silence for two hours. Two whole hours without a single word spoken. Not even a cleared throat, yawn or sneeze. To be honest I couldn’t find the energy to do any of that if I wanted. I can’t wrap my head around what Liam just said.. what I actually agreed to. I think I’m just in a state of shock. Part of me wants to find Louis and see what he thinks I should do. Before I agree with that plan I start to remember that if Louis knows Liam wants to find and save Zayn, he’d probably kill him too. I turn my head to look out the window next to me. The compound looks darker than I remember. My eyes glide up to the top floor. I wonder what Harry’s doing up there.

“Do you want to see him?” Liam’s voice makes me whip my neck around so fast I think I hear something crack.

“What?”

“Harry… did you want to go inside and see him? I can bring you if you want.” He offers a small smile and I feel even worse than before.

“I was thinking about it,” I shrug trying to act like it’s no big deal.

“Come on then, I’ll take you.” He starts the car back up and slowly we begin to move.

“Are you okay with how we’re leaving things?”

“For now.” That was good enough for me. I look back ahead, trying to think about seeing Harry again. But I can’t. Every time I try to switch my mind to him I see Liam’s face as he was begging me to help him.

“Look I just… I want you to know that whatever happens, whatever I’m able to do for you…” I stumble on my words, trying to think of how to phrase it. “I want to help you, I do. I want you to be happy and if finding him will do it… I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.” I actually mean every word I’m saying. If I can fill Liam in on all that Zayn has done and he still believes in his heart that he’s not in danger, and he can 100% convince me that’s true, I’ll set up a meet for them. I don’t know how I’ll pull it off but I will.

“I know,” Liam smiles at me again. He stops at the gate, waiting for the sensors to go off so we can drive into the garage. “That’s why I came to you Niall.”

“You can always come to me. For anything. Even if I won’t agree with you, I’ll help you.”

“That goes both ways,” Liam pats my knee as the gate goes up. We drive inside, parking in his usual area. “I’ll take you up again and leave you, same as last. Just wanna make sure you get in there safe, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I jump out of the car. As Liam walks around I stop him for a minute, pulling him into a hug. We stand there for a few seconds, no one needing to say anything.

“Me too,” Liam nods when we pull away. I smile, nodding back, and start to walk towards the doors to get inside.

“Have you seen him yet?” I keep my eyes staring off into the distance ahead of us.

“Harry? No, still haven’t. Why?”

“Dunno. Think he might’ve been a little ill. Was wondering if he was feeling better is all.”

“Sorry,” Liam actually sounds upset that he couldn’t give me the answer I was looking for.

“It’s alright, I’ll see for meself so enough.”

“There’s been something going around actually.”

“Has there?”

“Yeah. Louis caught it a few days back. He was miserable for a day or two but then he went right back to being his usual self.”

“Glad to hear it.” I smile, starting to feel a little relieved. We walk up to the lift, stopping in front to wait for it to open. “How’s your mission? Learn anymore on clones?” I’m not gonna lie, I’m still fascinated on that subject. Maybe it’s because Trad is such an interesting case that I think learning all that I can will help me to understand him better.

“Loads actually!” Liam smiles, full of pride. The doors open and we walk inside. I let Liam do the scans as he presses the floor for us. “It’s weird, everything you would have thought to be true with clones is just completely false.”

“Like what?”

“It really enforces the nature vs. nurture argument. Common sense might tell you that a clone will have a lot of similar attributes as their original, right? You’d look at them as equal almost. You’d think that they share thoughts and desires… but it has nothing to do with your DNA. Whatever you think, say, do or feel is all your own. You could put two clones through the exact same situations and they might act completely different.” I laugh at the way Liam’s eyes light up talking about his work. “It’s just fascinating.”

“I could’ve told you that mate.”

“How?”

“Lark.” Liam’s smile starts to fall off, replaced by a more somber one.

“I’m sorry Niall.”

“For what?”

“I know what he meant to you. I don’t think I’ve ever actually told you how sorry I am that you had to go through that.”

“It’s done with,” I shake him off.

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay.” Before I can say anything else the doors finally open up. Thank god. We start walking the same route that we did the other day. Everything still looks weird up here to me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.

“Are you going to become a clone?”

“No,” Liam laughs. “Pretty sure you’ve asked me this before.”

“That’s because I think you should. You’d be a damn good clone.”

“Like I just said, they wouldn’t be exactly like me.”

“Any version of you is better than more than half of this screwed up planet we’re living on.”

“Thanks man, that means a lot to me.” Liam reaches over and pats me on the back. We zigzag through the new maze that’s taken over the top floor until we arrive at Harry’s door. “I guess I’ll be going then. Text me or call me when you find anything out, yeah?”

“I will Liam. I promise.” I hug him one more time. He smiles and turns back the way we came. Okay. Now I can finally clear my mind to focus on Harry. Only Harry.

I enter in my code, waiting for the voice to announce my presence. It takes longer than last time though, so I do it two more times. “Harry?” I call out, wondering if maybe it’s broken. I knock loudly, hoping he can at least hear that. Finally I hear someone messing around with the door, like he’s trying to open it but unsuccessful. After a few more seconds the door opens slowly. “Harry?” I repeat, waiting to see his face. He steps out into the light, looking like absolute shit. If anything he’s gotten worse.

“Niall?” He rubs at his eyes. “What took you so long?”

“What?”

“I thought you were only going to be gone for an hour or so.”

“What are you talking about Harry? I had to go back to my mission, remember? Are you okay?”

“What? Oh. Oh yeah,” he weakly smiles. “Sorry, I just woke up from a nap. Guess I’m still a little in it in my mind. You were there, obviously. And now you’re here.”

Harry smiles wider, pulling me into a tight hug… at least I think it was supposed to be tight. He seemed to be lacking some strength. “Harry?” I pull back, looking at him. His face seems worn, the color gone. There are bags under his eyes, which now appear to be a little grey. He seems like he hasn’t slept in months. He looks pretty thin too, even thinner than when I just saw him. Like he hasn’t been eating at all.

“You’re really here, yeah?”

“Yeah…” I look at him confused. Can’t he see me? I’m standing right in front of him. Of course I’m really here. “What’s going on?” Harry lifts his hands up to my face, pressing them against my cheeks. He smiles, his dimples looking even deeper than usual.

“Where have you been?”

“Are you feeling okay?” I take another step closer. In the light I can see a yellowish tint to him. This isn’t normal. Something is definitely wrong.

“I just missed you.” I give him a small smile and walk inside, letting the door shut behind me. His place is such a mess. I’ve never seen it like this before. I walk towards the kitchen, looking for a bottle of water.

“Do you have anything to drink? I think you could use it. You seem a bit dehydrated maybe.” I look inside the fridge but it’s completely bare. I open the cupboards, also completely empty. Did he have anything in here?

“No. I’ve been thirsty for days. Finished it all.” He laughs. I turn back to him, worried.

“What’s going on Harry? Are you feeling okay? You seem out of it. What happened?”

“What do you mean?” He sounds like a child. He’s talking so slowly, even more so than usual. Something has to be wrong. “Are you mad at me?” He rubs his eyes again, squinting.

“Is something wrong with your eyes?”

“Why are you asking so many questions?” Harry walks over to the couch and sits down. He lays his head against the cushions and closes his eyes.

“Harry?” I sprint over to him, kneeling in front of him. “We need to get you out of here. Something’s wrong.” I look around, trying to think of a plan. I can’t just walk out carrying him. So many red flags would go up. I’d be shot and killed for sure. I look over at Harry who clearly can’t even keep his eyes open… he’s still alive right? I lean over, pressing my ear to his chest. Good. I pull back, racking my brain for answers. I need help. Louis and Liam. I reach into my pocket to pull the burner out. Perfect. I try to make a call but it won’t go through. Shit. Crappy service. I guess the walls in here are pretty thick. The whole place is soundproof… wait, duh. I’m in Harry’s place. I can have them ordered to come up here. I look over at the wall with the monitors. All I need is his handprint. I pick Harry up, carrying him over. He feels so light. I press his hand against the wall, entering in their numbers. I watch the monitors scan through facial recognition until they found them. They’re both in the compound somewhere. Thank god. Liam is actually still on this floor, which is good. I’ll have time to talk to him before Louis shows up. Louis seems to be on the third floor, talking to someone I don’t know. I enter in the command, hold Harry’s hand against it again and wait. I hope they’ll be able to find their way here. Liam has a better chance since he was literally just here again. I look down at Harry, wondering how he’s sleeping. He’s out cold. I press my hand to his forehead, laying him down gently on the couch. He’s burning up. Something is definitely wrong. This isn’t just a bug that’ll go away on it’s own. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. All of the signs are here; I know we’ve learned about it. What is it Niall? Think. Think. Think… Before I can try to recall everything I learned as a potential my thoughts are interrupted by a voice saying that Liam is here. “Thank god.” I jump up and run to the door, opening it quickly. “Liam, something’s wrong with Harry.”

“What do you mean?” He walks in looking around. “What exactly is this place?”

“It’s his. He lives here. I’ll explain that later. Look at him,” I gesture over to a passed out Harry, pleading with Liam. His eyes widen and he runs to Harry’s side.

“Is he…”

“Yeah, he’s breathing. I keep checking.”

“Do you know what else was going on?”

“I don’t know…”

“Think Niall. Anything he said to you, anything at all, could be helpful. How did he seem? What did he do? What did he say?”

“He kept rubbing his eyes a lot. And squinting too. He wouldn’t comment when I asked if they were okay. Just complained I was asking too many questions.”

“What else?”

“He was knackered. Just sat down on the couch and passed right out. In the middle of our conversation. And his skin. It’s so pale, just look at it. He lost weight too.” I watch Liam mentally making a list of everything I’m saying. It just makes me want to continue. “He seemed out of it.”

“How so?”

“He kept asking if I was really here and then after that he asked me where I’ve been. Like he doesn’t know I’m on the mission he assigned. Like I wasn’t just here and we didn’t just talk about it… It’s like he thinks I just up and left or something. He was really confused.”

“Anything else?” Liam’s voice softened as he asked. I don’t know why he suddenly changed tone but I didn’t care. I had to remember for Harry.

“Yeah, he said he was thirsty. That he’s been thirsty. There’s nothing here to drink. Said he drank it all.”

“Louis Tomlinson is here to see you” the voice calls out. I turn around, forgetting for a second that I called him too.

“How did he find this place?” Liam asks as I run to the door. I open it quickly and Louis stares at me.

“Niall?”

“Get in here,” I reach out and pull him in.

“It’s nice to see you too mate,” he shoves me, looking around. “What the hell happened to this place?”

“You’ve been here before?” Liam asks, making Louis turn to him.

“Yeah, a few times with Trad to discuss my mission. Haven’t been in a while though… he looks like shit.” Louis gasps, looking at Harry. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, but we need to do something. Now.” I answer, trying to think of a solution.

“Why not call for help?” Louis asks like it’s glaringly obvious.

“It’s poison,” Liam answers.

“WHAT?” I turn to him, wondering if I heard him right.

“At least, I’d say it is. I’m not 100% sure but that’s what my guess is. He has the right symptoms.”

“Who the fuck would poison him?” I feel my blood starting to boil. It’s Zayn. Has to be. It always is.

“Someone here I suppose.” Liam turns back to Harry. “We can’t trust anyone, just to be safe.”

“You mean there’s a mole? Again? Bloody hell.” Louis screams, throwing his hands in the air. “How is that possible?”

“There’s a bunch of different ways. They could poison his food, his water supply, his drinks, his clothes… anything they could come in contact with and no one would be any wiser on it.” Liam looks to Louis and then to me. “Didn’t either of you learn anything as a potential? We spend a whole month on poison alone. They taught us the signs and symptoms, how to spot what might be triggering it, how to stop it before it’s too late-”

“How?” I practically yell, cutting him off from his lecture. Louis and Liam both look at me, startled.

“I don’t know…” Liam sounds disappointed. I wish I could tell him it’s okay but I know my face is doing the exact opposite.

“We need a doctor.” I reply, looking back at Harry. His breathing is so slow; I keep thinking it’s stopped.

“Right, lets just walk right into a hospital and tell them the boss of our top secret organization has been poisoned but we can’t tell them how or by who and they can’t start investigating it because we’ll all be killed.” Louis rolls his eyes. “That’ll go over well.”

“What about here? There’s an infirmary.”

“We can’t trust anyone here Niall. He’d be a sitting duck.”

“He’s the leader of The League! He’d be completely protected!”

“How can he be protected when we don’t know who to protect him from?”

“So we’ll protect him.” I could hear my voice shake a little. Liam stands up and walks over to me.

“Niall,” he places a hand on my arm.

“We need to do something!” I scream. Louis looks at me, then to Harry, back to me. His face changes and he looks to Liam. They share one of their silent conversations before both turning to face me.

“Alright, we’ll get him out of here. I know a nurse. She’ll help.” Louis turns to Liam. “Can you carry him out?”

“We can’t just walk out of here carrying him. Do you know how many alarms that’ll set off? To be carrying our passed out boss? I already almost got shot last time trying to get back in here.”

“What?” Louis whips his head back to me so fast. I forgot he wasn’t there to witness my shadow.

“You leave first.” Liam answers. “Just go, now. We’ll meet you in the garage by my car. Here, take the keys.” He takes them out and places them in my hands. “We’ll be right down.”

“How are you going to get him out of here?”

“Leave that up to us,” Liam smiles. “I promise you, we’ll meet you there. It’ll be okay.” I don’t want to leave Harry, not even with Liam and Louis. I may trust them with my life but this is Harry’s life we’re talking about. “Niall, go on.” Liam rubs my arm. “You can trust us. He’s our friend too.” There’s a little crack in his voice, reminding me how much Liam cares about Harry. I shake my head slowly and turn around. The quicker I get out of here the quicker they’ll be able to get Harry help. I start to jog out the door, trying to find my way through the new maze. All I can think about is Harry though. He looked so miserable. What has been happening here since I left? How has it happened? He’s so cautious. I don’t understand any of it. I turn into a dead end, kicking a wall out of anger. Fucking hell. Which way was the lift? Maybe it was that way… I start to jog around, looking for my answers. Whatever is going on, someone in here can’t be trusted. How can I leave Harry’s side knowing he’s in danger? He looked so upset when he asked what took me so long. He sounded so lost. Whoever is doing this is going to pay. I will find them and I will kill them. You can count on that.


	23. Lean On Us

“Where are we going?” I place a hand on Harry’s chest to feel his heart beating. He’s peacefully lying across my lap in the back of Liam’s car. Louis just keeps staring straight ahead, telling Liam where to go. It’s different than his usual directional tone. Normally he’d be chatting away, occasionally barking in to turn last minute, but today he’s all business. Not a word comes out between directions, with plenty of warning time for Liam to make the move. It’s weird. Being ignored doesn’t annoy me as much as it should though. I just take it as a sign that they want to get there for Harry as fast as they can. Even a second of their attention leaving their ultimate goal would slow us down. I bite my lip, staring at Harry’s motionless body. I wish he could know what I was thinking. I’d give anything to hear his voice right now. See his green eyes, how they should be, full of life and wonder.

“Here, slow up.” Louis’s voice is starting to quiver a little. I look up at where he’s sitting, trying to see his face. “I see it. It’s coming up.”

“Where are we going?” I repeat looking out the window. We’re not near a hospital or anywhere I thought we would be. In fact we’re in some residential area. How can this help Harry? What are they thinking?

“Here, turn in here,” Louis practically whispers.

“Are you alright?” Liam places a hand onto Louis’s shoulder.

“Fine. Lets go.” Louis jumps out of the car and opens my door. “Come on.”

“No, I’ll get him. You go ahead.” Liam walks up, taking Harry off me so I can get out. Louis just stands there watching us. “You can go ahead.”

“No,” Louis just shakes his head. “It’s better this way.”

“What is?” I get out looking at them confused.

“Let’s just get this over with then.” Louis takes the lead, walking up to the door. Liam follows behind, holding harry. I just stand there confused for a moment before catching up to them. Why won’t anyone say anything to me? Louis hits the bell and looks to Liam. “No turning back now,” he exhales slowly. I forgot how much I hate being in the dark with them.

“Louis? Is that you?” An older woman answer the door. Her eyes are wide with shock, her mouth left open.

“Hi mum,” he replies through clenched teeth. I think he’s trying not to react to seeing her. It’s what we’re taught, how we’re trained. No emotional attachment. I don’t know why he’s trying so hard though; Liam wouldn’t turn him in and neither would I. He should know that by now.

“You’re really home?” She steps forward, engulfing him in a hug. I can barely hear what she’s saying through her sobs. Louis’s speech isn’t much more coherent. Both of them just stand there, drowning out their own words with cries. I look back to Harry, limp in Liam’s arms and it takes everything in me not to scream at them. I know it’s wrong, they haven’t seen each other in years, but Harry’s life is on the line. What’s really more important here?

“Mum,” Louis pulls back slowly. “I need your help.”

“Anything darling. Anything at all.”

“These are my friends, and that” he points to Harry “is a friend who needs immediate medical attention. You’re the only one I can trust mum.”

“Oh my god, what happened to him?”

“He was poisoned… at least that’s what I believe. He has the symptoms Mrs…” Liam’s voice fades as he tries to recall what Louis’s last name is.

“Just call me Johannah,” she smiles softly. “You think he was poisoned? Who would do something like that?”

“Believe me, I’m going to find out.” I thought I kept that in my head but judging by the looks I’m given I can tell I didn’t. “Sorry.”

“Listen mum, this is really important. I can’t explain any of it but you need to trust me. We can’t take him anywhere else and without your help he’s going to die.” I watch her study Louis’s face for a minute, almost like she’s unsure of what to do. To be fair, this is a weird request. Her son who she hasn’t seen in years or even heard from suddenly pops up at her doorstep with three men she doesn’t know, one of who is passed out and dying. Can’t be an easy thing to take in. I wouldn’t be shocked if she told us to bugger off.

“I don’t know what I can do here for him but come in, quickly. Bring him to your old room. Hurry. I’ll get some things.” Johannah steps out of the way, waving us inside. We follow Louis all the way to his room as Liam lays Harry on the bed. I stand there staring at him, unable to move. I’ve never seen Harry so fragile before. It’s terrifying. What if he never wakes up? I don’t think I can handle that.

“Stop,” Liam whispers, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t go there.”

“What?” I turn to him, confused. Did I say something out loud again?

“It’s obvious what you’re thinking. It’s all over your face. Don’t let your mind go there.”

“Leave him be,” Louis waves Liam off. “He can’t help it. It’s natural.”

“It’s only going to make things worse,” Liam replies.

“So what? He’s supposed to sit here thinking only good things then? This is a crap situation Liam. There’s no guarantee that anything will happen. What good is filling his head with unicorns and gumdrops when you don’t have any idea what the fuck will happen? You’re only setting him up for a greater disappointment.”

“Louis stop-”

“No, he’s right.” I shake my head. “He’s absolutely right.”

“Sorry,” Johannah walks into the room. “It took me longer than I meant to. Couldn’t find all I needed.” She smiles sweetly, offering some sort of light into the situation.

“It’s alright,” Liam smiles back.

“Now, what can you tell me?” She turns to Louis, waiting for an answer.

“Not much really. I’m sorry,” he answers.

“Why do you suspect poison?” Johannah looks from one of us to the next, waiting for an answer.

“His symptoms,” Liam begins. Johannah walks over to Harry as Liam continues. “They all seem to point to it. He’s lacking energy, has an extreme thirst, kept rubbing his eyes. He was out of it, hallucinating and confused I’d say, not eating anything.”

“How long has it been going on for?” She asks it so simply but I felt like it’s the most complicated question I’ve ever been asked. No one answers, so she looks back up to us.

“Niall? You know?” Liam looks to me, obviously concerned.

“No. How the hell would I know? I’ve been undercover. You’ve been in the bloody compound. Both of you. You should know,” I scream. I don’t mean to get aggravated but I can’t help it. How don’t they know? They’re there with him every damn day. They’re not forced to live away, to pretend to have a different life. They don’t have to act like they don’t know Harry.

“I’m sorry,” Liam begins to apologize. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

“Stop babying him,” Louis rolls his eyes. “We’re all pissed off. We’re all hurting right now. He doesn’t get a pass because he’s in love with the man.”

“Louis-” Liam starts before getting interrupted.

“Can you boys take this outside then? I’m trying to concentrate and if you’re not going to say anything helpful, take it elsewhere.” Johannah glances at Louis over her shoulder.

“Sorry mum,” he replies. I’ve never heard Louis so embarrassed before. Part of me wants to drag him into the hall and have a go at him for what he just said. He obviously has no idea what he’s talking about. Me, in love with Harry? What a joke. He’s clearly got big ideas. But I stop myself from going off on him. All it takes is one look at Harry and I lose it. I can’t leave his side, he needs me now. Look what happened when I wasn’t around for him. I’m never walking away from him again.

“I’m going to need to go get a few things to help him,” Johannah begins softly. “I don’t have the right things on me… Can I trust that you’ll still be here when I get back?”

“Yeah, of course.” Louis takes a step closer to his mum. “Need me to go with you?”

“It’d be nice,” she smiles.

“I’ll come. Liam and Niall can watch after Harry then.” Louis looks at us, waiting for confirmation on that one.

“Yeah, go on,” Liam answers. I just shake my head. I don’t feel much like talking.

“We’ll be quick. Promise. Just need a drip and vitamin a to help treat other side effects from it. Don’t have anything on me really… you don’t expect to run into this problem at home. It’ll be good to have Louis with me to get it all though. I can’t carry it all out anyway,” she explains. I just shake my head again. They walk out of the room as I move closer to Harry.

“Are you alright?” Liam moves right next to me, not missing a beat. I just keep staring at Harry. “Louis didn’t mean to upset you.”

“He didn’t.” I take in every detail of Harry’s face. If I stare at him long enough without blinking, it’s almost as if he’s just asleep. Healthy and sleeping. I like to believe that.

“Niall-”

“It’s not true anyway. None of it.”

“Okay…” Liam looks to Harry, letting the silence finally take over. I start to picture Harry opening his eyes right now. How perfect that would be. “But,” Liam starts back up, pulling me away from my hopes. “If it was true, just know you wouldn’t have to hide it from us. We’re on your side, always. Your secrets are ours. Just because the rest of the guys can’t know doesn’t mean we can’t. We have your back. Even with something like this.”

“It would be against the rules.”

“Fuck the rules,” Liam’s reply takes me by surprise. I turn to him, bringing my fingers up to my mouth to bite on my nails. “They’re crap anyway. We’re human. We fall in love. We form bonds. If loving someone is wrong, who wants to be right?” I start to wonder if he’s still talking about me. I think he can sense I’m confused because he continues again. “All I’m saying is there are a lot of rules I don’t agree with… one’s that don’t put us in danger. Like having friends, falling in love or seeing our families.”

“Don’t put us in danger?” I laugh nervously, knowing I’m about to make everything worse. But I can’t help it. I need to get this off my chest. “Are you insane? Do you know what’s happened? Families get targeted. Loved ones get targeted. They compromise us. Your best friend Zayn knows that better than anyone. He killed 137 of our off site agents. Not just our agents though, no he didn’t stop there. He killed their families too. They were exposed because they loved people, they opened their lives to others and they were murdered for it by the same man you’re trying to protect so don’t stand there and talk to me about loving someone and not being put in danger.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Zayn. Who he really is. He targeted everyone who did exactly what you’re saying. There’s a reason most people here swear a life of solitude. Why even when they’ve reached the level of being able to have a life of their own they don’t. It’s because it makes them weak. In those moments when they realized what was happening, do you think their training kicked in or do you think the images of their wives, husbands, daughters and sons flashed before them? Who do you think mattered most when Zayn was attacking them? I bet they all gave themselves up to let their families live. They probably pleaded with him, begging him to only take them out.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t know who you’re defending,” I scream back. “You say you trust him, that you know who he is but you don’t. He did this, Liam. He hacked the personal systems, went after the families and now he’s poisoned Harry too.”

“Shut up,” Liam yells back. “You don’t know that. Zayn would never-”

“Never target you guys? Because we know that isn’t true.”

“He wouldn’t attack families.” I could see the rage building up inside him. “You don’t know him.”

“Maybe you don’t know him. There’s proof Liam. Trad was able to track the hack and it leads back to him. Just like the malfunction in the security system that Lark set up. Just like everything that’s ever gone wrong with The League.”

“Niall stop. If you don’t I’m going to say something we’ll both regret.” I watch Liam clench his teeth, trying so hard not to lose it.

“Lads?” Louis walks in, aware that he’s interrupting something. He looks to Liam, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” Liam shakes his head and walks out of the room. Louis turns to me and I just ignore it. I look back to Harry, clearing my mind of anything else.

“Right,” Louis turns to the door. Johannah walks in, laying some things on the floor.

“Louis, can you get the iv?”

“Yeah, sorry mum.” Louis jogs out of the room quickly, coming back in before I even had time to blink. Maybe I was trying not to again, hoping to trick my mind. “Here.”

“Thank you. Excuse me, can I just get in there?” She asks me, motioning to where I’m standing. I just nod, taking a step back.

“Niall, why don’t we go outside and let her work?” Louis’s voice is the softest it’s been today. I just stand there, still staring. “Come on, Harry’s in good hands. We can trust her.” I feel his arm on my lower back, pulling me away. I allow him to guide me out into the hallway where Liam is pacing like a madman. He ignores our presence, mumbling to himself as he moves. “Liam, could you please?” Louis calls out, watching him move. Liam doesn’t acknowledge his words. “Liam, please,” Louis says a little louder. “Liam!”

“What?” He screams back, immediately changing the expression on his face. “Sorry Lou, that wasn’t meant for you.”

“Who was it meant for then?” Louis is clearly annoyed, placing his hands on his hips.

“Me,” I answer before Liam can. There’s no argument from him so I just laugh to myself.

“This isn’t what I mean when I said stop babying him. Why do you always have to overdo everything? There’s no in-between with you. You’re such a perfectionist Liam,” Louis shakes his head.

“Sorry.” I can’t tell whose sarcasm is thicker right now. It would probably be more entertaining under different circumstances.

“Come on then, lets hug it out.” Liam shoots Louis a glare that could rival some of Louis’s best. It’s eerie how on point that look is. Almost as if Louis was giving it himself. I think he takes the hint though, taking a step backwards. He turns to me, waiting to see if I have anything to add. I just stand there, still unable to speak. I don’t know what it is but I just don’t care enough to say anything. “Right,” Louis says mainly to himself. Liam starts pacing back up. “Really Liam?”

“Sorry,” he says more sincere than the last time.

“Thank you,” Louis replies. “Can we be civilized now men?”

“I can,” Liam answers. Louis looks to me, waiting to hear me speak but I don’t.

“Niall,” Louis says. I just turn to him. “Can we?” I keep staring at him. Liam walks up to me slowly, frowning.

“I’m so sorry Niall, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wanted to let you know you’re safe with us. Anything you say is safe with us. I chose the wrong words and it lead to something that we can revisit on a later date when tensions aren’t so high, but I didn’t mean anything by it. I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry. Just stop pretending. I think holding in how you’re feeling is only making it worse. I’m here for you. We’re all here for you… for each other… we need to come together right now. We all love Harry in different ways.” He takes another step closer, stopping himself. I think he wants to hug me but he wants me to speak first. I can’t though. I don’t know what it is but I just can’t.

“This isn’t good for you,” Louis chimes in. “Holding it all in like this, it’s only going to cause you to explode later on.”

“You don’t understand.” I shake my head, annoyed by their words. “If I don’t hold it in I won’t be able to do anything.”

“You can lean on us,” Liam tries to remind me again.

“I love him.” My words just linger in the air for a moment. I think Liam and Louis are hoping I continue so they stay quiet. “I swore I wouldn’t. I promised him that I never wanted a future with someone but god damn it I do.”

“Niall, it’s okay to be in love with him.” Liam finally closes the gap and wraps his arms around me. “There’s no greater man out there.”

“What if I never get to tell him?”

“Don’t go there,” Louis actually sounds upset. “Don’t you dare go there.”

“You were just saying before that we shouldn’t think only good things will happen and now you’re the one telling me they will?”

“I was just trying to get you to admit the truth. But now that you actually have, it’s time to get real. Harry is strong. He’s a fighter. He hasn’t gotten this far by laying down dead every time something gets tough.” Louis pats me on the back as I lift my head from Liam’s shoulder. “He’s always gone hard. Nothing will change that. Especially now that he has something to fight for.”

“What?” I ask.

“You. Are you paying attention at all?” Louis shakes his head in a friendly manner.

“Just because I love him doesn’t mean-”

“Shut up and let me finish will ya?” Louis cuts me off. “He’s in love with you. Just like you are with him. Hell we barely see the guy or you and we can tell. Any time you talk about him or him you the evidence is there.”

“Boys?” Johannah slowly walks into the room, almost asking if she can continue. I pull away from Liam fully and we all turn to her, waiting for her to go on. “He’s still out right now. We’re going to have to wait and see what happens. I’ve hooked him up to some fluids, trying to flush it out and I gave him something to fight it off and even try to absorb it, but because we don’t know how long this has been in his system there’s not much more I can say. We’ll watch him closely. Any change, good or bad and I’ll be there.”

“Thanks mum. Really,” Louis walks over to her and hugs her. “How about we go make some tea? Think everyone here could use it.” He leads her out, allowing Liam and I to finish resolving our issues.

“I know we don’t see eye to eye on Zayn, we probably never will, but we do agree on how we feel about Harry.” Liam’s voice is steady. I don’t know how he’s able to stay so calm after hearing it’s basically touch and go for Harry right now.

“Can we agree on something else?” I look up at Liam, feeling suddenly vulnerable. He nods to let me go on. “Can we agree that no matter what happens, no matter where it leads us, we will find out who did this?”

“I promise you I’ll keep an open mind if you will. And I promise you I will follow all of the facts to whoever did this. No matter who it was, I’ll help you make them pay. I swear it. Poison isn’t an accident. It’s a dedicated process. Whoever did it knew what they were doing and never second-guessed their actions. I’ll back you 150%.”

“Thank you,” I wrap my arms around Liam again, closing my eyes. For the first time since finding out Harry was sick, I actually feel a little relief. Whoever did this, will pay. That’s all I care about. Harry will be avenged. And I’ll have people helping me figure it out. For once, it’s not all on me.


	24. It's Hope

I haven’t left Harry’s side since Johannah came out to talk to us. I know this is going to screw my cover up but I don’t care. I’m not walking away from him. Nothing can make me move.

“How long are you going to be here?” Johannah asks Louis. I think they’re walking down the hall.

“Dunno. As long as it takes I guess. We can’t move him.”

“Are you ever going to tell me where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing all these years?”

“Mum, I can’t. Just trust me. It’s better this way.” Louis’s voice grows louder as I turn around to see him standing in the doorway. “How is he?”

“Nothing’s changed.” I look back to Harry, moving my hand to his forehead.

“You alright?” Louis’s voice is full of concern. “Hungry?”

“I’m fine,” I shake my head.

“Niall, lets go grab a bite. I don’t think you’ve eaten in days.”

“No.”

“Come on, you need to eat.”

“I’m fine.”

“Niall, he’s right.” Johannah’s voice chimes in as the voice of reason. “As a medical standpoint, you’re not helping him if you don’t take care of yourself. You need to keep healthy too.”

“I’m not hungry.” I hear her sigh as Louis whispers something back to her. If I cared more I’d probably be able to make it out but I honestly don’t. I run my hand through Harry’s hair and close my eyes. He’s going to be okay. He’s going to be better than that.

“I guess we’re just sitting here then,” Louis sits down next to me and I hear the door close. I think his mum left. He’s probably about to lecture me right now.

“I don’t need to hear it.”

“Hear what?”

“Whatever you’re planning on saying.”

“Right then, I don’t need to ever hear you speak either.” I could hear the annoyance in his voice. “Talk about rude.”

“You know what I meant.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Right.”

“I wasn’t. Since when am I that boring old man huh? The day I start telling you what you have to do or how to feel is the day I want you to terminate me. You said you’re fine… twice even. I’ll leave it at that.”

“Thank you.”

“I just wanted to know what you were thinking.”

“Why?”

“To see if I need to help you or leave you be.”

“I don’t need help.”

“Everyone needs help.” Louis pats my knee, waiting for me to speak next.

“I suppose…”

“You’re thinking about who did it.” He said it more like a statement than a question and I can’t blame him. I know it’s obvious. I haven’t hidden my feelings on whoever did this. “So that’s a yes then.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Do you have any ideas?”

“You know I do,” I look over at Louis for the first time since he sat down. I study his face for a moment, trying to figure out where he’s going with this. “What, do you want me to say it out loud? We both know who did this.” I turn back to Harry, unclenching my fist. I wasn’t even aware I did that. Guess Zayn just really gets my blood boiling.

“Fucking traitor. He’s a rat is what he is. If I ever get my hands on him…” Louis starts mumbling words I can’t make out.

“So you agree?”

“Course I do. I’m not going to bloody tell Liam that though. What were you thinking?”

“It’s about time he knows everything Zayn’s done. He keeps him on a pedestal. Like the sun shines out his arse or something.”

“You understand it.”

“What?”

“You’re dealing with him first hand. You know how he is. He pulls you in real close, makes you think he’s the best around, then when your guard is down he’ll stab you right in the gut.”

“It’s crap. All crap.” I focus on Harry for a second, wondering if I should even say what I’m thinking. Can he hear me? Should he hear this? I know how he still feels about Zayn. The last thing I want to do is upset him. He should hear nothing but good thoughts. Things like how amazing he is. How much he makes me laugh. What I feel when I’m around him. That I love him… I’ve thought about telling him while he’s like this. Gives me plenty of time to deny it. Say that he dreamt it up if he thinks it’s a bad idea… but I don’t know if I want to do that. The first time I tell him I love him I want to see him looking back at me, feel his heart beating against his chest powerful and screaming it’s in there. I need to watch his movements with each word I speak so I can know exactly how he feels too.

“It took balls telling Liam.” Louis’s voice always seems to remind me that I need to come back to reality. “I couldn’t do it.”

“You could tell anyone anything,” I let out a quick laugh.

“Maybe, but this…” he shakes his head. “There’s so much more to it than you know… You just had to be there I guess.”

“You know what’s weird?” Louis tilts his head, waiting for me to continue. “No one has ever actually told me a damn thing about Zayn. All I ever heard is what he did and how you all feel about it but I’ve never heard an actual story with you guys. What you were all like together.” I watch Louis clench his jaw a few times.

“Doesn’t matter now.”

“Doesn’t it? This entire time I’ve been trying to crack him but how can I do that without knowing more about your relationships with him? I need to know what he would do with you all, how he’d act. Maybe that’s what I’m lacking. I don’t have the upper hand.”

“And hearing a bunch of over pepped up stories of how we were all fucking fools is going to help you?” Louis raises his voice for the first time at me since we found Harry like this. It’s weird, normally him raising his voice like this wouldn’t unnerve me but in this instance it did. I feel like I should shut up now and let it go. But then the thought of actually figuring more out about Zayn’s part in this dynamic pushes me to continue.

“It could show me something he’s keeping hidden. You might hold onto the key without even knowing.”

“Ask Liam.”

“Oh yeah, what a smart idea. I’ll just walk right up to him and ask him to relive some memories with the guy I’m trying to kill.” I roll my eyes, turning my head to see if the door was still shut. It is, thankfully.

“He’s not here,” Louis informs me.

“Where is he?”

“He went back to the compound.”

“Are you serious? Why?”

“He thought it would help to have someone there still. Said he’s going to look around more, see if anyone seems on edge about Harry being gone. Anyone who notices he’s not there anymore is a suspect if you ask me.”

“He knows.”

“What?”

“Liam knows Zayn is alive for sure. He asked me to help him the other day.”

“What?” Louis repeats louder.

“He said Zayn reached out to him. That he’s in trouble and needs his help.”

“The only thing he needs is a fucking fist to the mouth.” Louis starts speaking faster with each word. “He’s looking to draw him out. He wants Liam to make his presence known so that he can finish him off. Fucking cunt knows Liam is the only one still gullible enough to fall for his antics.”

“All right, easy now. I didn’t tell you so you can go off and kill him yourself. That’s still my job, remember?”

“You’re doing a real good job at it.” The sarcastic tone Louis has just makes me start into a fit of laughter. Once I start I just can’t stop. It takes over me, moving through every inch. Louis stares at me before joining in. Maybe it’s just the normalcy of his reply, the sweet sarcasm hidden with a hint of sincerity that got to us. Maybe we’ve just officially lost it. Whatever the case is, we’re not stopping any time soon. I think we both need this. It allows us to get rid of the tension we’ve been holding on to. I know they say laughter is the best medicine, but maybe there’s actually something to it. I just wish Harry could laugh too.

“Thanks for that,” I say as I finally calm down. “Needed it.”

“Me too,” Louis smiles. We just sit there for a few minutes, letting the new feeling settle in. It’s nice actually being able to be happy, even if it’s only for a moment.

“Is it weird? Seeing your mum again I mean.” I realize no one’s talked to him about it yet. Well, Liam probably has to be honest. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a long conversation about it last night when I was in here, but I haven’t talked to him about it. And even if we seem to stray away from the deeper conversations, we’re able to read each other. I think that’s the most important part of my relationship with Louis, we don’t need words to understand but sometimes they’re helpful.

“I don’t know how I’m going to leave her again,” Louis’s voice shakes. I move closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “She was my best friend… I never deserved a mother like her.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I abandoned her. Turned my back on her and my sisters… You know I have a brother now? All me life I wanted a little brother and when I finally get one I had no idea.” A tear escapes his eye, slowly falling down his cheek. “I’m just like my father.” I may not know much about Louis’s past but I can see the way his eyes seem a little darker on that last word. I move even closer to him and wait for him to explain what he means. “He abandoned us you know. When I was two years old. Walked right out on us and never looked back.”

“You’re nothing like that,” I start to defend him.

“I am. I walked right out on my family, my sisters. They needed me and I up and left them.”

“You were searching for a better life. You wanted to make a difference. To be a part of something.”

“Did I?” Louis wipes away another tear that starts to fall. “I was a scared little shit, just like me dad. He ran away because he couldn’t handle his responsibilities and I did the same thing.”

“You were a little kid. You had a choice to make… I know you had a reason for choosing The League, yeah? We all did. So what was it? What was yours?”

“I don’t even know anymore.”

“That’s shit. Every time you have a mission you don’t agree with, a termination to go through with, the reason flashes through your mind. It does to all of us. So come on then. Why’d you pick this life?”

“I wanted to change it. My sisters were so young and my mum was too good for this world. They deserved the best. I wanted to be a part of the reason why they didn’t have to worry every morning.” I’d never seen Louis like this before. His guard was completely down. There wasn’t even a stump at the bottom of it. It was below ground if that’s possible. He was sobbing softly, keeping his words audible. “My family deserves the world, you know? I just wanted a way to help that. I thought if I left they’d be better off. I wouldn’t be keeping them down or worrying me mum every day. I know I’m a wise ass, I’d constantly get into trouble, and she didn’t deserve that. The added stress…” I rub his back as he takes a pause, collecting his words. “I needed to change. The League did that for me. They helped give me more discipline, without completely erasing who I am.”

“You don’t need to change a damn thing about yourself Lou. You’re one of the best men I’ve ever known.”

“You don’t need to do that. Talk me up. I don’t need the bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit. You’ve turned into an amazing person. Don’t you realize that? You’re someone anyone would be proud to call their son. If only your mum knew what you’ve done… what you’d do for the people you love. If Harry survives this, it’s because of you. You thought on your feet, you knew where to bring him and how to handle it. You might be passionate about things but it’s that passion that shows people who you really are. I know for better or worse you’re in my corner, and I’m in yours mate. I’d die for you. Honestly, if it came to it, I’d take a bullet for you.”

“Fucking hell, like I’d let you. Think I’d let you die in all that glory? Hell no, I’d make you spend the rest of your life thinking about how you could’ve saved me but I didn’t let you. Let you spend your time remembering me.” I start laughing as that signature Louis smirk appears.

“There’s the Louis we all love. Your honesty may be your best quality. No matter what, you’ll say the truth.” I shake my head in admiration. “That’s real though. You never lie. Never shy away from something. I respect you for that. From day one you’ve been straight with me.” I give him a hug, holding on for an extra minute.

“Right then,” he says as we pull away. “Now that that’s over with… how bout a pint?” I laugh again, nodding in agreement.

“I’ll never turn that down. Just one more thing,” I look at him as he stands up.

“Yeah, I know. I love you too mate. Now lets get some football on and some drinks.” He walks out of the room towards the kitchen, leaving me to laugh to myself. I look back down at Harry, wishing he were a part of this. I know him and Louis have their differences, whatever happened there, but if he was awake now for that maybe they’d be able to have their moment too. Some time to talk it out, let go of their deep feelings of hate regarding Zayn and whatever went down between them all. I let my eyes focus on Harry’s face again, waiting for Louis to come back. Wait… what was that? Did he… did that…

“LOUIS” I scream, jumping up. “Louis get in here.”

“What? What’s wrong? Is Harry all right?” Louis comes running in, spilling beer all over himself.

“He just moved… His hand… I saw it move.” I looked back at Louis, smiling wide. It’s the first time there was any sign of Harry being in there since he passed out in his place. Johannah came running in, hearing the commotion.

“What happened? Is everyone okay? What’s wrong?” She looked at me, confused by my smile.

“He’s in there! Harry. I swear he moved.”

“Let me see,” she walked over closer smiling to me. She started to do a few different things, that to be honest I’m not sure what she’s doing, but she knows and that’s all that matters. I look back at Louis, who was also smiling. We both were so excited, waiting to hear what was going on. Is Harry waking up? Is he coming back to us? “He seems steady,” Johannah starts to explain. “Any movement is a good sign. There could be a million reasons for it. Some people explain them as muscle spasms, twitches, involuntary responses. Other people take it as a sign that they’re listening to what’s going on out here, adding their two scents.”

“What do you think it is?” I ask, cutting her off from her explanation.

“I believe it’s their way of communicating,” she smiles sweetly. “Letting us know that they’re in there still, listening to every word.”

“So he’s not waking up then?” I can’t hide the disappointment in my voice. Louis’s face drops as well, immediately offering me the fuller pint. I freeze, unable to grab it.

“Now, I didn’t say that,” she shakes her head. “I say it’s a good sign. Leave it at that. His body is responding to something, be it the medication, the fluids or you. He’s still fighting. That’s what that means. It’s hope, Niall.”

“Hope,” I repeat, nodding my head. Johannah smiles again, walking over to Louis.

“Come on, let’s give him a moment.” They walk out of the room as I move closer to Harry, kneeling down to whisper in his ear.

“I know you’re in there Harry. I know you can hear me.” I move my hand to his, wrapping my fingers around the ones he just moved. “You’re strong… one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. The way you just carry The League on your back… caring about each and every one of us… it’s incredible. You’re incredible. Your heart must be the size of the universe…” I take a pause, licking my lips. I can taste the saltiness coating them. “You’re a remarkable man Harry Styles. Someone this world needs to help balance out the evil of it all…” I rest my head against his arm, unable to look at him in this state. “I need you. I hate to admit it but I do. Not in the sense that I couldn’t live without you, because I can, but I choose not to. A life without you just isn’t one that I ever want to imagine again. I thought all me life that people in love were fools, that there was no point to it. That the people who were always going on about feeling complete with someone else like they’re not an entire human being on their own was utter bullshit. I don’t need you to be human, but I need you to be the happiest I can be. When you’re in my life I just feel better. I am better. I know it’s corny but fuck it. I don’t care. You make me realize how great it is to be alive. To be happy. I never knew what that was… I’ve always been searching for an escape from everything. I ran from me family, needed an out from me home, but with you… the last thing I want is to get away. So come back to me love, please. Come back to me so I can tell you how much I never want to leave you. I know you’re usually right about everything, and I’ll gladly admit it to you when we fight, but you were wrong to agree to us never being permanent.” I close my eyes as tight as I can, trying to will him back to me. If I could control anything in this world please let me bring him back. I’ll do anything. I don’t care at this point. I’ll do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I won’t ever take him for granted again. I’ll make sure every moment I have with him is treasured and I’ll remind him every second that I love him. Just give me the chance. Whatever greater power there is, whoever may be able to hear this, please let Harry live. Let him open his eyes and smile like he was never gone. Give him a chance to have that happy ending on a forgotten farm. Let us have a chance. Hell if Harry woke up right now and asked me to run away with him this instance, to forget about Zayn and leave him be, I would. I’d do anything for him. No matter what it is, no matter what he’ll ask of me, I’ll do it. So please, give me back the man I love. Because I don’t know if I could handle losing him… no, that’s a lie. I know I couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to go on being who I am today. If I lose Harry, I’m afraid of who I’ll become… the things I’d do. Maybe that’s selfish, maybe I want him back for the wrong reasons but there are some right ones too. I want him to be happy. I want him to get everything he’s ever wanted, the family he gave up on having, and the friendships he’s lost. If he wakes up I swear I’ll help him mend them. I’ll bring him and Louis together again; make sure him and Liam don’t lose touch. And if Liam is right, if Zayn is innocent, I’ll bring him back to Harry. I swear, on Harry’s life, if he comes back to me I’ll be the man he deserves. Just give us the chance. Give him the chance.

 

 


	25. He'll Be Safe With Me

“Niall,” I hear someone call to me. The voice seems soft, far away… even kind of like it’s under water. It takes me a few moments to realize that’s because I’m half asleep. I guess the exhaustion finally caught up to me. It’s funny, I don’t remember closing my eyes but it must’ve happened. My eyelids feel so heavy. I try to open them, still in a daze. “Niall,” I hear again a littler clearer this time.

“Mmm,” I reply. I think I was in the middle of a real good dream. It’s almost as if I can still feel Harry running his hands through my hair, hear his voice raspy like it is in the mornings. Can I just go back to that? Is this really that important? I lift my head slowly, keeping my eyes shut. “Yeah?”

“Niall,” they say again.

“What?” I open my eyes, staring at Harry, who of course is in the same position he’s been in since Liam laid him here, except… he’s staring right back at me. Those green eyes are open. God how I’ve missed them.

“Bloody hell, Harry you’re awake?” I jump up ready to scream for someone to come in here.

“Shh, Niall… where… where am I?” He tries to lift his head off the pillow but he can’t.

“Don’t move. You’re safe,” I start to explain. “You’re in Louis’s home. His mum is taking care of you.”

“What… what happened?” His voice sounds strained with every word. I think he might be in pain the way he keeps pausing before continuing on.

“I should get Johannah to look at you,” I stand up but Harry reaches out to grab me. It stops me dead in my tracks. Harry is actually holding onto my arm.

“No… Don’t go… I’m fine.” He offers a weak smile. How can I argue with him? He looks so perfect. He’s speaking and moving… two things I never thought I’d see him do again. “Just tell me… what… what happened.”

“You were being poisoned Harry. Someone in The League is after you.”

“What?” Harry sits up, eyebrows scrunched together. His nostrils flare as he opens his mouth to speak again. “Who?”

“We don’t know. Liam is trying to find them. He’s been searching all of your belongings trying to find out how they did it.”

“And?”

“He couldn’t find anything. Whoever is trying to kill you knows how to cover their tracks. They seem to be a professional.”

“They should be… I… I probably taught them how to.” He offers a silent laugh, almost like he ran out of energy before he could get to it.

“You don’t know that.”

“If they’re a member of The League… I did… I taught them how to murder me… without leaving a trace… It’s kind of… funny innit?” All of the pauses he keeps taking really start to worry me. Last time he talked like this he passed out.

“Let me get Johannah so she can check on you.”

“Niall… don’t… don’t leave me…” I see how worried he is as I look into his eyes. It’s like he knows something I don’t. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling, waking up in a strange place, not knowing what’s going on with him. On top of that he just found out someone he ultimately trusts with his life is out to get him. That would throw anyone into shellshock.

“I’ll just call for her, yeah?”

“You don’t need to.”

“Why don’t you want her to come look at you?”

“I just want… to be… with you…” I lean down to kiss his forehead.

“I will never leave your side again Harry. I promise. I’ll always be here with you, but right now we need her in here too. Just to make sure you’re okay, yeah? Then we can be alone again. I don’t want to take any chances, not when it comes to you. Please.”

“Okay,” he nods slowly. I stand up, walking towards the door.

“Johannah. Johannah come here quick. He’s awake.” I hear a stampede come down the hall.

“What did you say?” Louis is leading the pack, running straight at me. “He’s awake?” I’ve never heard him sound so concerned about Harry before. You’d think it was Liam lying in that bed right now. I smile at him, nodding my head as he walks around me. “Harry?”

“Hello,” Harry replies on cue. I laugh at the way he says it, almost like he’s been here the entire time, like this isn’t something huge. Harry just winks over to me.

“Fuck off,” Louis lightly shoves him. “You can’t pull that shit again. You had Niall worried sick.”

“Yeah, just me,” I roll my eyes. Harry starts laughing.

“I can see that.”

“You worried us all, okay?” Louis looked down at Harry, starting to smile. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you,” he smiles back.

“What is all the commotion on here?” Johannah walks in, looking around at us. She stops at Harry and starts to smile. “You must be Harry then. It’s nice to officially meet you. Do you mind if I just check a few things out on you?”

“Yeah, go ahead…. Thank you… For everything you’re doing…” He smiles sweetly towards her and everyone in the room can tell she’s instantly fallen for his charm. There’s something about Harry when he’s trying to be endearing. You just can’t resist him.

“You don’t have to thank me, it’s my pleasure… Louis, why don’t you and Niall wait outside? This’ll take a few minutes.”

“I’m fine waiting here,” I reply before he can say anything.

“Niall, come on. Let’s go grab a cuppa. He’s in good hands.” Louis wraps an arm around my back trying to get me to go with him. I look at Harry, waiting to hear what he wants. I’m not leaving this room if he wants me in here. No one can make me leave him.

“It’s okay…” Harry nods, smiling weakly again. “Just come back when you’re done.”

“Always,” I take a step closer to him and lean down to kiss him. Louis turns towards his mum, giving us a moment. I press my forehead against his, pulling back from his lips slowly. He smiles, closing his eyes and pressing his lips up to mine one more time.

“Alright, come on. We don’t have all day.” Louis rolls his eyes jokingly, a small smile fighting to break free. I laugh and look down at Harry, who visibly forgot we weren’t alone. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. Now come on Horan, lets give them some space.” I walk out of the room with him, down the hall in complete silence. When we walk into the kitchen I think he says something, but I’m not sure. He must realize I’m still in a bit of a daze because he doesn’t say anything else. I sit down at the table, looking back down the hall where Harry’s laying. “He’s in good hands,” Louis reminds me. I turn towards him, nodding slowly.

“I know. It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“He’s finally awake Louis. He’s awake and he’s right down that hall and I’m out here waiting to find out if he’s going to be fine and there’s nothing else I can do for him. At least before when he was… well you know… at least then he wasn’t awake waiting for me to do something.”

“But you have done something Niall. You saved his life. You knew something was wrong and you called us for help immediately. He’s alive now because of you.”

“No, he’s alive because of you. You knew where to take him. I was going to leave him at The League allowing whoever did this to finish him off because I was to blinded by something being wrong to think straight.”

“You were worried about him. We all were. But look, it worked out so just relax.”

“Liam should know.” I turn to Louis, wondering where he is now. “Someone should tell him.”

“I will,” he pulls out his phone and starts typing on it.

“You’re really bout to just send him a text?”

“Course I am. On The League authorized phones. Whoever did this could be monitoring them. I want them to know they failed. I want them to fear for their life, knowing we’re all onto them.” I wish I could say the way he said that scared me but I actually admire his words. He’s right. That son of a bitch needs to start pissing their pants wondering when we’re about to strike back. They need to know they’re in danger, that they won’t get away with this. But most importantly they need to know they failed. I want them to realize Harry is stronger than they thought. They need to know who they’re actually dealing with and that there’s no way in hell they’re going to win.

“We need to find them.”

“We will. Liam’s on it.”

“No, we need to find them Louis.” I stare at him, letting him realize I’m not just bullshitting. This isn’t something said out of anger. I will find them, even if it kills me. This is my number one task.

“I know,” he reaches over and pats my shoulder. “We will Niall. Liam’s onto something. He won’t say much because he’s afraid you’re going to jump down the same Zayn trail and do something stupid.”

“Me?” I laugh, pointing to him. “What about you?”

“He won’t tell me either. I barely got it out of him that he’s onto something. It might be nothing, I don’t know, but it’s why he hasn’t left The League since this all went down. He’s been checking everyone and everything out. Even been in Harry’s top-secret files. Said it looks like he hasn’t been the only one.”

“How did he get into them?”

“Oh come on, don’t look at me like that. So we made an imprint of his hand when he’s been here. It’s not like we’re the only ones bending the rules. At least we’re doing it for good reason.” I stare at him, letting him just continue to justify his actions. I agree with them, completely, but it’s too much fun watching him argue with himself to say so. “Are you telling me you aren’t willing to bend a few rules to do whatever it takes to save Harry?”

“Are you kidding me? I’ll shatter them all if I have to. I’ll do whatever it takes, no matter the cost. Harry is my number one priority.”

“Good. Then you won’t have any problems with our plan.”

“What plan?”

“Okay boys,” Johannah walks out of the room. She moves slowly down the hall, smiling. “He’s alright. A little weak, still fighting but the worst part seems to be past him. He’s fought through the toughest bits. Just keep patient with him and be understanding. Harry will be a little frustrated when he can’t do things right away. It’ll be your jobs to work with him. Help him with whatever he needs.”

“Of course,” I stand up right away. “So can I go back in?”

“I demand you do,” she smiles again. I nod, turning to Louis.

“You go on.” I can tell he really wants to come to though.

“No, not without you.” He tilts his head to the side.

“Don’t you want more alone time?”

“Yeah but there will be plenty of time for that. Right now Harry needs to be surrounded by the people he cares about and that includes you.” I watch Louis process what I just said, like he’s ready to argue it. He opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything. Finally he shrugs, stands up and motions for me to lead the way. We walk back to the room, opening the door. Harry is just sitting there, wide eyed like a baby deer. He looks fascinated by his surroundings.

“It’s weird…” he slowly begins. “Everything just… looks so different.”

“Did me mum give you more pain meds? Think she gave you a bit too much. Might need to cut back on em.”

“No,” Harry laughs. “It’s just… so beautiful… everywhere you look.”

“Yeah, it is.” I smile to him and watch him start to blush.

“Right, see this is why I said I’d wait outside.” Louis turns around and I grab his arm.

“Wait, I want to fill Harry in on everything and I need you here for it.”

“Why?”

“Because you were a huge part of it. You’re the reason we’re in your old home.”

“Yeah, I’m waiting for Harry to start yelling at me for that one to be honest. Broke all sorts of rules.”

“You did,” Harry nods. “And you really should get in trouble for it… but… I’m not going to yell… I’m not going to scream… I’m just going to thank you… I know… I know how hard this is… I know how close you were…”

“We don’t have to go down that road. You’re alive. It’s done. We can all go back to The League and forget this ever happened.”

“You don’t need to… if you don’t want to…” Harry stares at Louis, waiting to see if he follows what he’s saying. “I mean… you can keep in contact with her…”

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not going to put her in any more danger than I already have. You realize I risked everything bringing you here?”

“I know…”

“I don’t think you do. This is my home. There are people that live here who don’t know a damn thing about The League but are now possibly targets. Whoever is after you can come after them. I put my family in danger because we had to save your life and now you want me to keep risking it?”

“That’s not what I’m saying... You can move them… check up on them… we can put them in a safe house.”

“Uproot them? Take the little ones away from all they’ve known so they can live in fear? No matter what happens here I fucked their lives up again.”

“I know… Louis… I can never thank you enough… but let me help… help you and them…”

“Let us all help, lou.” I squeeze his shoulder to remind him he’s not in this alone. “I can visit all you want. Check in on them.”

“So Zayn can find them? Even better,” Louis rolls his eyes. “Look, I don’t regret what I’ve done. I’m glad you’re alive Harry. It was my decision to bring you here. No one forced it. But now I need to deal with the outfall. Until we know who did this no one is safe. And we can’t find out who did this if we’re all stuck out here. So you need to make a full recovery, I need to leave my family behind once again and Niall needs to get back to being Neil.”

“Oh my god Niall… what are you doing here? I completely forgot…” Harry looks terrified for some reason. “You need to leave.”

“Like hell I do,” it takes everything I have not to burst into laughter at the suggestion.

“You don’t understand…”

“I understand perfectly fine.”

“Zayn is going to be suspicious... How long have you been gone?”

“Stop working yourself up Harry, I’m fine.”

“Louis, explain to him how bad this is… that he needs to go back…”

“You do mate. Listen to Harry. This isn’t a game. Zayn’s normally a suspicious person. When someone vanishes off the face of the earth like that it’s usually a sign that something’s not right.”

“So why go back at all?” I look at them, waiting for an answer.

“Because if you don’t you’ll be his number one target… He’ll hunt you down for answers… and when he finds out… Niall please.” I look down at Harry, wanting to do whatever he said. But this? Leaving him again? Last time I did that he ended up poisoned and knocking on death’s door. Now I need to go again to spend time with Zayn? My number one suspect? How is that fair at all?

“He’ll be safe with me. I promise, I won’t leave him alone.” Louis rubs my back, knowing the last thing I want to do is walk out of here.

“Last time he was with you he almost died.” I clench my jaw, fighting the urge to say anything else.

“To be fair, he wasn’t actually left with me. This time I’ll be able to watch his every move. He’s safe.” I ignore Louis’s comment and walk closer to Harry. I kneel down next to the bed, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Don’t make me go.”

“I can’t risk something happening to you… you want to protect me… to do whatever it takes… I’m doing the same… with you… I can’t lose you Niall… I won’t… Please… fix it…”

“Okay,” I kiss him softly, fighting the urge to stay like that all day. The quicker I end Zayn the quicker I come back to him. That’s it. That’s the solution. I need to complete my mission a.s.a.p. As soon as I get back I’ll find Zayn. Feed him some bullshit excuse and lure him into a trap. It’s about time I end this. It’s time to finish him.


	26. After You

“Zayn! Hey.” I walk into the café, smiling as soon as I spot him. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say the entire drive back out here and all of last night. I need something perfect. Something he won’t think to question openly, even if he wants to try looking into it. I need to cover my tracks.

“Hi…” He stands slowly, looking at me weird. He’s suspicious. You can tell. He’s keeping his back pressed up against the wall so no one can come up from behind him, his eyes wide open to make sure he sees every move I make. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s reaching for some secret weapon in his back pocket. “You all right? Haven’t seen you around in a while…”

“Yeah, sorry bout that. I uh…” I scratch the back of my neck, trying to look a little afraid to share my story. If I’m too willing to explain where I was it’ll look forced. I need to try to be private with my life still. I shrug, still looking at him. “I took a spur of the moment trip back home,” I force a laugh. “If I can even call it that still… Sorry. I… you know what? I’m just gonna jump on up there and get to work. Screwed meself over with the time off and all.” I turn around and head quickly to the stage. I can feel Zayn watching my every step. I don’t know if he believes me but there’s nothing else I can do at this point. I know he’s suspicious. He’d be the biggest idiot on the planet if he weren’t. Especially in his line of work. He knows there are no such things as coincidences. Every story is really a cover up. He was trained the same way, which actually makes it easier to react around him. I know what he’s going to think with how I present myself. That’s one of the reasons I made sure I didn’t offer up too much of an explanation. I didn’t go into detail on why I went back home and once I started to get a bit emotional by saying it’s not really my home I pulled back and cut the conversation. Keeping him at arms length still. Normal people caught in a lie always offer up too much information. They give every little detail, things you would never actually say if it were genuine.

Throughout the entire performance Zayn just stared at me. Occasionally I’d see him type something into his computer but he never once took his eyes off of me. It was a little disturbing actually. I felt like at any given moment someone was about to do a drive by and off me right here. I immediately start to pack up my guitar, wondering if I should just make a quick getaway. “Neil,” Zayn walks over slowly. “You sure you’re all right? You don’t seem it.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I nod fast, trying to act like I just want to stop talking about this. The more Zayn thinks I’m uncomfortable the more he’ll push it.

“Why don’t you come back to my place? We can get a pint or two. Talk about what’s going on. You know, catch up.” He smiles softly, only the left side of his mouth curling up.

“I probably shouldn’t. I have a lot to do.”

“Like what? You get another job? Actually buy things for your flat?” I burst into laughter at that last remark.

“Touché! You definitely got me there.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I…”

“I can tell you need it. Just let off some steam even.”

“Yeah… okay. Why not?” I smile, wondering if this really is a good idea. There’s a few ways this can play out. Scenario number one, it’s a trap. A clear sign of a trap. In fact there are multiple red flags on the play right now but I’m still going along with it. Why? Maybe I want it to be a trap. Then at least I can openly fight back. Scenario number two, he’s actually generally concerned for whatever reason and it’s nothing more than a lets bond session. Which is annoying. I really could care less about getting to know him. I know all I need to, thanks. Scenario number three, and my personal favorite, it’s my way in to finish him off. It’s the perfect plan. He invites me back to his place where his guard might be down. All I have to do is improvise. Find something I can use to kill him quickly. As long as I cover my tracks, leave no trace of being there, it’ll work perfectly. This is my chance. I have to jump on it.

 

The entire walk to Zayn’s place I was super distracted. I was probably shit conversation which actually only helps my cover to be honest. But my mind was running through the easiest way to seclude him. I’ve never been to his place so trying to visualize the when and how of it was a little hard but the end goal remains the same, Zayn lying on the floor, life draining from his eyes. Payback. Maybe I’ll scream their names at him while he takes his last gasp of air. Remind him of the people he hurt the most. The ones he’s still hurting.

“Neil? You alive in there?”

“Huh?” I turn to face him. He actually looks concerned. I swear he’s such a good actor. Think he went into the wrong business. He’s got the looks for Hollywood, the talent for sure, and he’s definitely got that mysterious who am I vibe to give off.

“Are you okay? You haven’t said more than a grunt since we left. I’m worried about you. What happened when you went home?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head, trying to pretend I just want to forget.

“You know you can talk to me, yeah? I consider you a friend. Hope you know that.” Is he for real right now? Is this so I let my guard down so he can off me first? Hell no.

“Yeah I do, thanks mate. I’m just…” I shrug. “Not much of a sharer.”

“I know,” he laughs. “Maybe you’ll share more when we get some drinks in ya.”

“Is that your plan?” I laugh back. “You wanna get me pissed to find out more about me? Is this some cheap date then?”

“Can’t give away all my secrets,” he winks. I can tell he feels a little awkward in this situation. I wonder what his story is. Who he’s been with. What he looks for.

“All right,” I nod. “I’ll pretend you never said a word.” I look around, trying to see the area we’re in. We’ve been walking for a while, taking a few buses here and there. It’s weird; he lives pretty far away to be a regular. Maybe that’s the point though. Throw people off who try to follow him. He’s smart actually. Brilliant. Every time I try to figure him out or have the upper hand he reminds me that he’s the real evil mind master. I take back what I said earlier, the same training doesn't help me. He's incredible when you think about it. He could take over the world if he wanted. No one would even question him. He just has that way about him, goes on with what he wants while convincing you you’re the one on top. “You live in France or something mate? Feel like we’ve been walking for hours.”

“That’s what happens when you walk in complete silence.”

“Oh is that it?” I laugh again. “Right.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a runner? This shouldn’t be that bad for you.”

“Is that how it is?” He smirks and I just nod. “Okay, okay.”

“Nah, we’re almost there. Just a little bit longer.”

“Why do I feel like just a little bit longer to you is twelve more hours to me?” Zayn laughs, nodding in agreement.

“You just need to look around you a little bit more. Notice what’s going on in the world. Find something beautiful to pay attention to.”

“All right Gandhi.” When did Zayn become so all knowing and Zen? I swear his personality adapts to whatever mood you’re in. He’s like a chameleon.

“It’s all about the journey, not the destination” he winks. Now he’s like a fortune cookie. It just makes me want to kill him faster. I can’t take all of this bullshit. The thing about Zayn that pisses me off, aside from the obvious history with the people I love, is that he’s never himself. He acts how he thinks you want him to or how he thinks you need him to act. He’ll be whoever will make you happy instead of who he truly is. You can’t trust a guy like that. He’s clearly insecure. Worried. But he’ll never be happy unless he’s honest with himself. People who keep their true personalities hidden like that are going to be miserable. But they’re the worst kind of miserable because they won’t show it to you. Until one day they’re going to just be ready to crack and you’re blindsided by it because you thought he was happy. Because you needed to think he was happy and he needed you to think he was happy. It’s a vicious circle. Maybe that’s why his betrayal was so easy for him. Maybe it was his way of getting back at the guys for never letting him be who he was. Not that I can see the Knights offering him complete freedom. But maybe it’s enough. “Here we are,” Zayn pulls me out of my head. I stop and stare at him, trying to figure out what his plans are. “Told ya it wasn’t much further.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that one.” I turn to face the building we’re standing in front of. Well technically the building is still a ways away. There’s a gate right in front of us. “You afraid of something?”

“Just a decent place to live,” he shrugs. “Got a good deal on it. Couldn’t resist. The inside really did the trick.” He pulls out a key and opens the gate. I look around, trying to see if there are any cameras out here. There have to be. He wouldn’t be that stupid. I bet there’s one right on the gate so he can see anyone who comes near his home. “After you,” he waves me ahead. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if that’s a smart idea. Walking in front of him leaves me completely unprotected. And the closer I get to his door the further we are from anyone seeing what he could do to me. I have a bad feeling about this. I’ve never felt like this before… actually no, that’s a lie. There was something similar back when I was a Potential. The day they made me terminate Lark. I knew that there was something off from the moment I was called for that mission. I could sense it, just like now. “You all right?”

“Yeah, just dunno where I’m going,” I try to laugh it off. “You should lead mate. I’ll end up in the rubbish or something. This place seems like another country.”

“It’s really not that big.” Zayn’s cheeks start to flush. He takes a few steps in front of me and I follow behind. That tension is still there though. The most important thing Lark ever taught me was to trust my gut. I’ve been reminded of that time and time again. There’s no reason to start ignoring it. Something is going to go terribly wrong today. One of us is going to die.

“So you live here alone?” I try to find out more without being too obvious. If there’s someone else inside I’m walking into an ambush. One on one I can handle Zayn. I can put up one hell of a fight at least. But if there are more people waiting I’m a goner. I wish I had something to take in case I get captured. Some missions we’ll issue a little pill or a needle to stick yourself with if you’re captured. It’s the coward’s way out, but it insures you go peacefully, quickly, and that any information you have on The League or your mission remains a mystery. Harry never gave me one for this, which is odd. You’d think I’m at the biggest risk. Not that I’d ever say anything about The League. I’d rather die. They could try any trick in the book; I’m not easy to break. Especially if what I know will put Harry at risk. I’ll take their worst and bury my knowledge.

“Yeah. It’s just me.” Zayn shrugs.

“You live here all alone?” I repeat, widening my eyes, trying to sound surprised. Just because he lives alone doesn’t mean he’s alone right now. There can still be someone hiding inside to knock me out as soon as I walk through the doors. I need to stay alert. Be aware of your surroundings Horan, it’s far from safe.

“Yeah,” he softly replies. I can tell he feels uncomfortable talking about where he lives, which is odd. Why is he so embarrassed by it? Is it because I’m supposed to be living in a dump and he lives in basically a palace? It’s not like it’s his fault I have such a shit life and his has been blessed. We walk up to the door and Zayn enters a code onto a keypad. Then it beeps twice and he presses his hand up against it. So he’s super cautious. I knew he’d have a few advanced security systems set up, just didn’t think I’d see them.

“You hiding from the mob or something?” I laugh, pretending to be joking, though he technically could be. He’s hiding from a lot of people.

“It’s weird I know but uh,” he shrugs again, “it came with the house. Didn’t feel like paying to replace it.” Right because normal houses these days sell with personal security systems where locks are designed to your fingerprints. How could I forget that?

“Who owned it before you? James Bond?” I wonder if that might’ve been pushing it a bit. I should keep walking on eggshells. If I comment too much on it he’s going to know something is wrong, but if I don’t comment enough he’ll be even more suspicious. I hate this delicate balance. Everything is two seconds away from ending in disaster. I don’t know if I’m cut out for this life anymore. I used to be. I knew I was but ever since Harry snuck his way into my life and my heart I’m constantly second guessing every move I make. Now I’m actually worried I’ll fuck up and never see him again where as before I didn’t give two shits what happened to me. If I messed up I messed up. Whatever. It wasn’t a big deal. That’s how you have to think. If you want to be the best agent you can be you can’t have anything going on in your personal life. Friends, family, a partner… they all mess with your mind and put you in an even more compromising position.

“Could be,” he forces a laugh back but it was so shit. I swear I’ve never heard a laugh sound so fake before. I think he realizes it and looks away quickly, embarrassed by his failure. “Kitchen’s this way.” He leads me down a super narrow hallway. Each step I take makes my heart beat faster. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Are they actually moving? Is this how he’s going to trap me? Lets face it if someone were to come up behind me right now I’d have no way of being able to fend them off. I’m essentially a sitting duck. Why would anyone have a hallway this narrow in his or her home? Especially Zayn. Unless this is how he targets people. This could be his secret weapon to turn the tables. I feel my breathing start to get louder, my heart practically thrashing against my chest. I can’t do this. I need to get out of here.

“How much longer in this hall?” There’s more panic in my voice than I meant for there to be, but I think it turns out in my favor. How can I be a threat to Zayn if a hallway is about to take me out? I think it’s going to bring his guard down a little bit more.

“You all right?” He turns around, eyes widening. “Just relax. Take a deep breath. It’s just a little further. We can walk faster, yeah?” I just nod my head, not wanting to say another word. Zayn turns back and starts picking up the pace. We walk out of the hallway, into a wide-open kitchen. Thank fucking god.

“Shit,” I fall to the floor, resting my head on the cold tile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

“It’s fine.” I cut him off, slowly lifting my head. “Just not a fan of tight spaces.”

“We can leave a different way. You don’t have to go through there again.”

“What the fuck is up with that any way? You can’t fit a piece of paper between your shoulders and the walls.”

“It’s not that tight…”

“Mate I was being crushed to death.”

“All right,” he laughs going into the fridge. “Here,” Zayn walks back to me, offering me a beer.

“Now you’re talking,” I grab it from his hands and practically chug it. I’m going to need to calm my nerves if I’m going to go through with my plans. Now, I just need to survey the surroundings. See what I can use. Where I need to be and where Zayn needs to be.

“Thirsty?”

“Guess so,” I laugh. Zayn grabs another one and walks towards me.

“Lets go sit in there. It’s more comfortable.” He nods towards the couches in the next room. I stand up, following behind him. This could work. Maybe… It’s so big though. And all of the windows make it super reflective. No. This wouldn’t work at all. What was I thinking? He’d see me coming at every angle. Damn. “So how’ve you been?”

“Still kicking.”

“Rough trip back?”

“Knew it would be but,” I shrug. I take a long sip of my drink, trying to stall saying any more.

“Why’d you go back then? If you don’t mind me asking… I know you’re pretty private but I think talking about it might help you. You don’t seem to get much off your chest.”

“Ha! Pot meet kettle.” I wave and he laughs.

“Fair enough. But I don’t have it as hard…” The last word seems to fade into nothing. I look down for a moment, comparing our actual lives to one another. I wonder if that’s true. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t…”

“It’s okay,” I nod to him. “I know. I’ve got shit luck. Partly my fault though. I did just up and leave to go to a place that makes me miserable instead of stay and earn the money I need so,” I shrug. “Can’t blame it all on luck.”

“My offer still stands. I can actually show you a room I need help with. It’s upstairs. You’ll understand the second you see it. It’s pretty dark. There’s no natural light in it… I think it used to be used as a dark room or something but until I fix it up I don’t have the heart to put anything it in. It just sits there forgotten.” Hmm. A dark room? Nothing in it to point out what I’m doing? I think he just picked the room he’s going to die in.

“Sounds good! Can I finish my drink first?”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean right now” he laughs. This gives me plenty of time to sort it out. All I need to do is decide how to go through with this. Is it going to be bare handed? Or can I find a weapon and conceal it long enough to pull it off. I don’t want it to be quick. I want him to know who I am, why I’m here. Maybe I’ll sneak up behind him, knock him out and when he comes too I’ll have him tied up. Gives me time to try to get answers out of him, explain the situation and then finish him. But he won’t give anything up. I should know that by now. He’ll just turn down. Stare at me without saying a single word. Plus there might be cameras here. Something that The Knights can see. If I keep him tied up and draw it out they might come after me. No, I have to do it fast. Sneak up behind him as soon as we walk into the room and snap his neck. Yeah, that’s a good plan. I don’t need any outside help. I just need to move before he knows what I’m doing. I’ve done it a million times before. I can do this. It’s a piece of cake.


	27. I'v Got You

“What was it like, going back?” Somewhere along the beer and the food Zayn lit up a few joints for us. Probably not the smartest thing to do undercover but I can’t very well decline. What would that look like? He just looks at me intently, like he’s studying me. I feel like he could see all the way through me. He knows I’m lying.

“It was weird,” I shrug. Maybe if I pretend it hurts too much to talk about he won’t push it.

“What did you do? Did you see anyone?”

“Nah, there’s no one left to care about. Just needed a reminder I guess.” I close my eyes, thinking of a good excuse. “It’s actually…”

“Yeah?”

“You kind of made me do it.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. When I was sick, you asked if there was something from home that makes me feel better. Made me remember what it was like to have a family, someone to care for me. I dunno. It just made me miss it all so I went back.”

“I’m sorry mate.” Zayn looks away, unable to keep eye contact with me. Maybe he doesn’t know I’m lying. “I never meant to…” his voice trails off. I don’t say anything, making him even more upset. I can see it on his face. It’s weird; I’ve never seen him show so much emotion before. “What happened there?” His voice sounds genuine but maybe that’s the pot talking.

“I don’t like to talk about it much… it…” I shake my head, pretending to be disturbed.

“Was it sudden?” I stare at him, trying to figure out where he’s going with this. “Course it was, your entire family doesn’t just get sick. Sorry. I-“ He looks so embarrassed, shaking his head. He even slaps his forehead, like he’s trying to erase what he said.

“It’s all right.”

“What happened?”

“A robbery,” I nod slowly. “I should’ve been there. Could’ve done something.”

“Then you’d be dead too Neil.”

“So?” I laugh. Who knew I could be such a great actor while high? This has to be a talent. Fuck, I’m convincing myself this is all true. “At least I’d be better off.”

“Oi, that’s not true.” Zayn sits up. “You’re here for a reason.”

“To suffer? To relive every day knowing when me family needed me most I was out getting pissed? When some assholes broke into me home and murdered me family I was at the pub not giving a damn? Some fucking life.”

“It’s not your fault,” Zayn stands up and walks closer to me. He sits next to me on the couch, staring into my eyes, holding my gaze. “Don’t blame yourself. You’re an innocent victim. This world…” he shakes his head. “It’s fucked up. No matter how hard you try to figure it out, you never will. People do shit things. They’re messed up. There’s no explanation for it. Taking lives, causing pain. It’s a vicious cycle. You try to fix the bad by doing the same shit and it solves nothing. But you can’t dwell on it. It’ll drive you mad.”

“Sounds like you have some experience with it,” there’s something about this conversation that’s making me uncomfortable.

“I do.”

“What happened?”

“That’s not important.”

“I told you my story…”

“Yeah, and yours is completely different than mine.”

“Does this have to do with the people you hurt? The ones who you said won’t forgive you?” I tilt my head, trying to show him I listened that night we were walking.

“Yeah, partly. I just… I can’t.” He’s never going to open up to me, no matter how open I make myself. It’s always going to be cryptic and forced. Whatever he says is just going to be a way to connect to me. That’s who he is.

“So uh,” I clear my throat. “That room you wanted me to help you with. It’s upstairs right?” Time to get back on track. Enough time has gone by now. I’ve thought it through over and over again. I know exactly how I’m going to finish Zayn. I need to do it tonight, before I over think it. If I act fast I can push Liam out of my mind.

“Yeah. Wanna go check it out?” He smiles; relieved I’m giving him an out.

“Sure,” I nod. Perfect. Right on track. “Lets go.” We stand up and he turns to me, biting his lip.

“Um…” He stares at me. “Promise me you won’t judge me, yeah?”

“Okay?”

“Just… yeah…” He walks slowly and I follow him. We go down a different hallway than earlier, turning a corner and stopping in front of a lift.

“Seriously?” I laugh.

“I know, it’s a bit much.”

“A bit? I swear you live in fucking Buckingham palace. Gonna find the queen up there are we?” I watch his cheeks turn red.

“I’m sorry…”

“For?”

“I know it’s insane. Especially…”

“Especially what? Because my entire flat could fit in your tiny hallway?” He looks down at his feet. “Don’t be mate. If I had the money I’d be here too. Nothing to apologize for.”

“It’s ridiculous,” he laughs. “I don’t know why I even live here.” The lift dings as the doors open. We walk in, letting the doors shut. I look over at the buttons. He hits number four… there are seven floors here. Seven. What the fuck is he doing with seven floors? There’s no way he’s alone. Other people have to be here. What can one person do with this much space?

“It’s cool though,” I say after realizing I’ve been too quiet. All of a sudden the lift shakes and the lights go out. “Fucking hell,” I grab onto the rail. “What was that?”

“I… I don’t know.” I press my back against the wall, trying to make sure I can’t get hit from behind. This is a trap. I fucked up. I’m going to die. Shit. I’m going to die. This is it. Where’s Harry?

“Neil, you all right?” Zayn calls out. I feel someone touch my arm and I immediately hit him or her off. “It’s just me, you okay? I know you hate small spaces.”

“I…” Oh fuck. I can’t handle this right now. The weed is making me more paranoid than usual. I can’t breathe. What’s going on? I can’t see anything. I need to see.

“Neil, it’s okay. Just relax. We’re okay.”

“We’re going to die. We’re going to die here. Tonight. We’ll be dead.” I start to rock back and forth, hitting my head against the wall. I can’t do this. I slowly fall down onto the floor.

“No we’re not. Not if I can help it. I’m here with you. You’re okay. You’re safe.” I feel someone touch my arm again. I pull back quickly. “Hey, it’s just me. It’s just me. You’re safe.” I feel someone sit next to me, trying to rub my back.

“Fix it. Please. Just get me the fuck out of here. I can’t breath. I can’t… I…” I start to feel myself hyperventilating. The more I think the worse it gets. I need out of this death box. I need Harry. I need air. Something. Anything. This is not the way I want to die. I don’t want to be seen last with Zayn.

“I need you to know you’re okay. You’re not alone. I’m here.” His voice sounds so calming. He actually takes my mind off it for a split second, maybe even half a second, before I realize there’s no use and we’re going to die. Maybe I should come clean. Let him know who I am, why I’m here. I can die with a clear conscience. I feel my heartbeat pick up, like it’s warning me to make up my mind.

“I’m not,” I gasp, finding it harder to speak. I can’t think. I can’t breath. There’s nothing. Just darkness. Is this what Harry saw before he passed out? Was there just darkness? What was he thinking? Did he know this was happening? Probably not. He was more out of it… Is this what Lark felt like right before I shot him? Was this how he felt looking at the gun pointing at him? Shit. I’m sorry Lark. Fuck. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Zayn replies. Did I really say that out loud? Shit.

“Everything. Fuck. All of it. Shit.”

“Just relax. Come one. You’re okay. Just count back from 100. We’ll be out soon enough. Come on. Concentrate with me. 100. 99. Come on.” I feel his arm rubbing my back again. “You can do this. Try to think with me. It’ll help. Come on. Please.”

“98…” I feel my body start to shake. I can’t do this.

“Then what? Don’t stop.”

“97… 96…95…94… 93, 92,” I start to feel my body slowing down, the tremor coming to an end. “91, 90, 89…”

“There you go,” I can hear Zayn smile. Is that possible? Maybe it’s the weed messing with me. Who the fuck knows. I feel the lift shake and fall against Zayn.

“Crap.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“We’re going to fall. We’re going to crash down and… and-”

“88, 87, come on. Go on. 86, then what?”

“This is-”

“No, go on. It was working. Come on. Think Neil. Think.”

“I’m counting till our deaths.”

“No you’re not. Let’s go. Come on.”

“Zayn,”

“85, 84,” he won’t stop. Fucking hell. He’s impossible. The only way to get him to stop is to join him.

“83,” I basically yell. Zayn laughs.

“Good enough.”

“82... 81… 80…” The lift shakes a little once more before the lights come back on. “Oh bloody hell,” I look around slowly. Zayn is kneeling next to me, rubbing my back a little slower now. He smiles at me, looking so concerned.

“We’re almost out. See? You’re doing great. Keep it up.”

“I…” I stare at him. What is he doing? That is his chance. I’m defenseless. My guard is completely down. Even if I suspected something I can’t fight back. Especially when the lights were out. That was it, that was his chance. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t move. Hell I could barely even think. Why didn’t he attack? Why didn’t he take me out? If he knew anything, if he was planning on going after me first, then why did he let that opportunity pass by?

“You’re okay. We’re okay.” He says, reminding me we’re still stuck in this death trap. Maybe he was waiting till I could see it coming. I bet he just wants to see the look on my face as he watches me take my last breath.

“No,” I shake my head, still trying to calm down. Just because I can see now doesn’t mean I’m okay. We’re still dangling in mid air. Stuck in a metal box. Waiting to be crushed to death.

“Neil, just focus back on the counting, yeah? Where we left off. Come on.”

“79…” The lift shakes again. This time it’s followed by a loud noise as we start to move upward again.

“See, we’re fine.” It lets off a loud ding, opening the doors. I look out them immediately. All I want to do is get up and run out but I can’t. I can’t move. I’m frozen. No matter how hard I will myself to stand, I can’t. “Come on. It’s okay. We’re okay.” Zayn wraps his arms around me, hoisting me up. I stand, leaning completely on him. I wouldn’t be standing if it wasn’t for him. I don’t know how he’s holding me up like this, but he is. He pulls me out to the hall, still keeping me up. “We’re safe Neil. It’s okay. It really is. I’ve got you.”

“I…” I try to say something but I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I’m so fucking confused. I thought I was going to die… I was certain that was the end. Why was he so nice to me? Why did he help me through that?

“Just relax. You’re free. Nothing is going to get you. I promise. You’re safe with me.” Those last words make me start to cry. I don’t know what it is, the rush of emotions I guess, maybe I can still blame the pot, but I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. I don’t make a noise, trying to hide it as best as I can. But of course Zayn hasn’t taken his eyes off of me. “Hey,” his voice sounds like the purest thing in this world. So precious. So comforting. He just holds onto me, keeping me from falling to the floor. We stay like that for a while. I don’t know how long to be honest. It could be hours, it could be years. At this point I don’t know anything any more.

After a few hours Zayn finally breaks the silence. “There’s a kitchen on this floor. I can make us some tea? Maybe get some water? You can stay here tonight if you want. I don’t mind. I could use the company to be honest. Think we both can.” I pull back, finally feeling strong enough to be able to stand on my own. I stare at him, trying to think of a reason to say no. Anything really. But I can’t. To be honest I don’t think I want to. I still feel a little shaken up from earlier and I don’t want to be alone right now. I don’t know what game he’s playing but I really don’t have the energy to find out right now. There’s nothing left in me.

“Okay,” I practically whisper. Zayn smiles, nodding his head.

“Tea then?”

“Please,” I smile back. For the first time I don’t feel like anything I’m saying or doing is forced. He got to me. The fucking bastard finally got to me. Maybe he’s a genius at this shit, it could all be an act for all I know but… I don’t give a damn. I just don’t right now. Tonight I’m going to stay with him. I’m going to forget about what I’m supposed to say or do and I’m just going to be me. It’s over with. I know this is what Louis had warned me about, but can Zayn really be that bad? He had me. I was at his mercy and all he did was try to calm me down. I wouldn’t have survived that if it wasn’t for him. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, I need to.” We walk into the kitchen and Zayn goes straight to the kettle. He keeps his back to me while I try to continue. “I need to say this.”

“Okay.” He turns back to me, nodding.

“What happened back there… I… I don’t like to admit when I need help but I did. You really… I didn’t know what to do in there… I thought…” I keep stumbling over my words. I sound like Harry did when he first came back to us. My mind is so scattered, trying to pick the right words to say seems impossible. “Just, thank you. Honestly. I really needed you in there with me.”

“Of course,” he smiles. “It was nothing.”

“No, it wasn’t.” I look down, unable to keep staring at Zayn. Looking at him makes it harder to thank him. I know this is wrong. I shouldn’t be thanking him. I shouldn’t care. “I’m just glad you were stuck in there with me.”

“Cheers,” Zayn laughs.

“You know what I mean,” I laugh back.

“Yeah, I do. You’re welcome.”

“It definitely made me appreciate my flat more though, I’ll tell you that.” Zayn starts laughing louder, placing the kettle on the stove.

“You’re welcome for that too.”

“Honestly mate, between your death trap lift and murderous hallway, what the hell do you see in this place?”

‘”Dunno,” he shrugs. “It appealed to me when I first saw it. Just bought it on a whim really. The space, all the rooms. Made me feel important I guess. Never could’ve owned a place like this growing up. We were struggling all my life so I just wanted the complete opposite you know? But it got old real fast. Makes you realize how lonely you are. Don’t have many people in my life besides my family and I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like… sorry, that sounds bad, I-”

“No, you don’t have to… You have a family. You’re allowed to be sad that you don’t see them enough. Stop apologizing to me every time you talk about something you have that I don’t. I don’t care. I’m glad you have one.” I actually am. I’m glad that he’s able to talk to his family still. I don’t know why but in this moment, I’m actually happy for him. Zayn grabs two mugs and pours the water in for our tea bags.

“Sorry…”

“Can we be honest with one another? Just be open. No apologies. No bullshitting. Just be pure and raw with me mate. I can’t be any more revealing tonight if I tried. Just join me on this. We never have to talk about what’s said tonight.” I watch him think it over. “Sometimes you need a night to just stop holding it all in, you know? Stop pretending you’re all right when you’re not. Let it out.”

“Yeah. I’d like that,” he nods. I can see a hint of relief behind his eyes. In this moment I realized I’m going to need to talk to Liam. I can’t go through with it. Not anymore. I can almost hear Lark’s voice telling me to be careful. Like he knows I’ve screwed up. I started to open up to him way too much. I’m in over my head. If I’m going to murder Zayn, I’ll need concrete proof that he’s the one who tried to kill Harry. Otherwise I don’t think I can anymore.


	28. Till The End

Yesterday was such a fucking mess. I started the day off determined to finish my mission and ended with being unsure of what I was doing there in the first place. After I got back to my flat I immediately took off for the compound. I need answers. I need to know more on Zayn before I figure out my next move, and the only way I can think to do that is by visiting Liam.

“Niall!” Liam smiles from ear to ear, running down to hug me. “I was so happy when I got your text. What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk. It’s about Zayn” I watch his smile start to fall. “I want to know more about him. The good, the honest truth. What it was like for you guys. I want to know the friend you knew. Something happened and… I get it, okay? You were right. I don’t want to judge him anymore. I want to see him through your eyes.”

“Are you for real?” He sounds so hopeful now.

“Yeah,” I nod.

“If you’re serious, there’s a way better than me just telling you what happened. I can show you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Okay, come on,” Liam practically runs towards the compound. I jog after him, trying to keep up.

“Liam, where are we going?”

“To the lab. I’ll explain when we get there. Quickly.” I follow him inside the building all the way to the lift. I pause, looking at it. I start to shake my head as Liam walks through the doors. “You coming?”

“No, not in there.” I shake my head again, remembering last night.

“Niall, what’s wrong?” Liam steps in-between the doors, making sure they won’t close.

“I got stuck in one of those last night…”

“Niall, it’s all the way on the top floor… we could walk it but… Look, I’m here for you. You know I’d protect you. Besides, it’s The League. The last thing they’d do is let the lift go haywire. You know our technology is our top priority.” I stare at Liam, listening to everything he’s saying. It’s Liam. If I were to ever feel safe trapped somewhere it would be with him. I know he’d do whatever he could to get us out. Fuck if Zayn could help than Liam would be able to cure me.

“All right,” I nod. “I’ll go.” I walk forward and he wraps an arm around me, pulling me in to a side hug. “Harry’s been real well you know.”

“Yeah, Louis told me that this morning. I called but Harry was sleeping. Apparently they’re actually getting on.”

“Just like the old days,” Liam smiles.

“So I’ve been told.”

“You’ll see.”

“Yeah, what do you mean by that?” The doors open and we walk off. Liam smiles, walking towards his lab. I follow, waiting for him to explain. I hate when he’s like this. Just let me know what’s going on. Is that too much to ask for? Bloody hell.

“Here we are,” Liam presses his hand against the scanner, waiting for the door to unlock. “My personal lab,” he smiles.

“You’ve got your own now?”

“Yeah, ever since Harry… well, you know… He told me to take this one over. Told me how to set it up so I can do some more research on it in here without anyone knowing.”

“That’s pretty smart,” I look around trying to figure out what everything is. I have no idea to be honest thought. Liam walks off, pulling out some weird headgear sort of thing.

“Here.”

“Here what?”

“This, put it on.”

“Not until you tell me what the hell that is.”

“It’ll show you the past. My past. I’ll have one on as well. You’ll be able to relive my memories. What happened. It’ll be like you’re me only you’ll still have your own thoughts.”

“What?”

“You said you wanted to know what Zayn is really like, how he was with us, right?” Liam looks like a little boy trying to convince his parents to get a puppy.

“I did.”

“So now you can. Trust me. Just, put it on.”

“Okay,” I slowly take the device from him. I pause for a moment before putting it on. Here goes nothing.

 

“Hi, I’m Louis and this is Zayn. What’s your name?” Louis cocks his head to the side, staring right at me. Or well, Liam. This is so fucking weird. I’m literally seeing everything from his point of view. I wonder how long this will go on for…

“Can you talk mate?” Louis laughs, waiting for an answer. Liam just looks to Zayn and then back at Louis which means I look at them too. This is too bizarre. I might go insane from this.

“Sorry. It’s Liam. I’m Liam.”

“Nice to meet you Liam,” Zayn smiles.

“You too,” Liam sounds so nervous. I wonder what’s going through his mind right now.

“You been here from day one?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, you guys?”

“Absolutely. Been mad some of the things they’ve had us do.” Louis laughs. Zayn nods along in agreement.

“You two been partnered up for it?” Liam looks at both of them again. Did they know each other first? What does Liam mean by partnered up?

“Yeah. We worked the first mission together,” Louis nods.

“Always will,” Zayn smiles.

“Till the end,” Louis winks. Till the end? That’s a strange way to put it. “It was fucking brilliant though, wasn’t it?”

“Are you insane?” Liam sounds concerned for Louis’s wellbeing. “I can’t believe they just threw us right into that.”

“Your partner get eliminated then?” It’s funny, even back then Louis just seemed to read Liam. It didn’t matter that they just met; he knew what was behind his words. Liam just nods his head, looking down.

“All four of them so far. I’m starting to think it’s me.”

“For fuck’s sake, that’s crap.” Louis looks aggravated that Liam would even suggest such a thing. “Zayn, do you know if we have any missions for three coming up?”

“I have a feeling we will,” he smirks. Louis and Zayn just look at one another, having their own silent conversation. So Liam isn’t the only one who Louis can do that with. Zayn was first. They really were close. I don’t understand how they could fall so far then.

“Then it’s settled. You’ll be with us next,” Louis nods in approval.

“What?” Liam sounds so confused. Poor guy has no idea what he’s about to get into. Who Louis really is. How he won’t accept no for an answer. In this moment Liam’s life changed forever.

“You’ll see,” Louis nods. “We’ve got your back. From now till the end, right Zayn?”

“Right,” Zayn nods back. He smiles at Louis, whose eyes suddenly light up like I’ve never seen before. He pats Zayn on the back, still nodding along. It’s like they have some secret code. This is just so fucking weird. I don’t even know what I’m looking at right now. They have the weirdest connection. Words can’t even begin to describe it. It’s almost as if they’re one person, yet they seem to be total opposites. I don’t see Zayn being as controlling or demanding as Louis. At least, I’ve never seen it. Maybe that’s why they were so close. I bet Zayn went along with whatever Louis said, no questions asked.

 

Liam, wake up! Come on,” Louis shakes him quickly. It’s weird, I actually feel that. He wasn’t kidding when he said I’d be living it through him but still as me.

“Liam,” Zayn softly strokes his cheek. “Please?” Liam opens his eyes, staring at the two. Some time has passed; at least I think it has. Clearly it has since I’m now in a bedroom… was this Liam’s Potential’s area? It’s not terrible…

“We’re gonna go meet Harry for some food. Get dressed.” Louis throws clothes at Liam. He turns to Zayn, eyes sparkling. “We still on for tonight?”

“Always,” Zayn smiles back. He turns to Liam, nodding towards the clothes.

“What’s going on tonight?” Liam asks, sitting up.

“Oh just get dressed will ya?” Louis walks over to Zayn, whispering something. I’m not sure what, I’m too far away from them to hear it. Or, well Liam is too far away. This is still so fucking strange. I know I keep saying that but I’m literally seeing everything from his point of view. I wonder how long this will go on for. We’ve jumped to a new memory so it’s not just a one shot thing. “Liam!” Louis whines. “You’re taking forever.”

“Leave it out, I just woke up. Sorry I haven’t been up all night like you two.”

“Don’t be jealous,” Louis smirks.

“We’ll sleep when we’re dead,” Zayn laughs.

“Fuck off, that’s never happening,” Louis lightly shoves Zayn. I can’t help but laugh at that. The man who is currently dreaming of ways to murder Zayn is actually telling him they’re going to live forever. That’s gold.

“Till the end,” Zayn reaches out and messes Louis’s hair up. Louis returns the affection with a smile and a shove.

“You know it,” he nods. Till the end? There it is again… What does that mean? Is it their thing? Do they have a thing? Why do they have a thing? “Are you ready yet Liam?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He jumps out of bed.

“Good. Hate to keep Harry waiting. Can you picture him? All bambi eyed sitting on the floor staring at the door for us.”

“He has a fulfilling life,” Liam shakes his head.

“Yeah, because of us.” Zayn laughs, looking immediately to Louis for his approval. Louis winks, smiling wide.

“Why do you always take his side? It’s impossible with you two.” Liam sighs. Wait, he’s felt that way before? That’s exactly how I feel around him and Louis. Was Zayn Louis’s first Liam? Were they on that wavelength? I know that they were supposed to be close before but, I just, I couldn’t picture it. Not like this.

“I take your side too,” Zayn sounds a little concerned. I think he’s worried he actually upset Liam.

“Sometimes.”

“Can we go? For fucks sake guys. I’m growing old here.” Louis whines.

“Growing?” Zayn looks at him confused. Liam breaks out into laughter. Zayn smiles at him and winks. I think it’s his way of trying to prove to Liam he’s neutral with them.

“Gonna kiss up to him now?” Louis raises an eyebrow. “Good luck with that one.” He walks towards the door, pausing in the hallway. “Come ON.”

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Liam asks.

“I just wanna get the fuck outta here. Been stuck in this shit compound forever.” Wait, did they actually leave? As Potentials? What is this place? Nothing seems familiar. They had group missions, total freedom, and they were able to actually get to know people. I don’t understand. I know everyone says it’s different but I didn’t think there was this much of a change. Zayn really did a number on Harry.

 

“Liam, you all right?” Zayn’s voice sounds softer. He’s wearing different clothes. Where are we right now? What’s going on? “Hey, mate, you can talk to me. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Liam nods slowly. I think they’re alone.

“So, what is it?”

“It’s stupid,” he fakes a little laugh. I hate seeing Liam like this. I want to be there for him, even if this is something that happened a long time ago.

“Your feelings are never going to be stupid,” Zayn moves closer to Liam. He places his hand on Liam’s arm. “Come on.”

“Today,” he shakes his head. “It’s just…”

“What?”

“It’s supposed to be my birthday. In one hour, it’ll be my birthday and I’m stuck here. Just reminds me of how alone I’ve been my whole life. Never good enough.”

“You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone again.” Zayn sounds offended by Liam’s words.

“That’s not what I mean. I just… my life… not all of us are you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Charismatic. Charming. Intelligent. Artistic. Creative. Whatever you want to use to describe you, it’s pretty damn close to perfect.”

“Liam,”

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay. Sometimes you just need to feel sorry for yourself and I’m allowing myself that today. This is going to be a day that’s always reminded me of what I’ll never have.”

“What’s that?”

“A place I belong.” Liam looks down, ashamed at what he’s saying.

“But you do belong, here, with us.” Zayn moves so he’s in Liam’s line of vision. “You always will.”

“You know that’s why I joined here? I wanted to feel like I was a part of something.”

“You ARE Liam.”

“I know.” His voice seems to be telling a different story. Zayn frowns, clearly trying to think of something to say or do. “I should probably get some sleep anyway. We have a mission tomorrow. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Liam,” Zayn holds onto his arm for an extra second.

“Yeah?”

“You belong with us. Harry, Louis and me, we all belong together.”

“Thank you,” Liam smiles. It’s genuine this time, like hearing it put a different way makes him actually believe it.

 

“Where is this mission?” Liam asks, looking around.

“We’re in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere.” Louis chimes in.

“It’s just bit further I think…” Zayn looks down at the electric map in his hands. It’s blinking, showing them moving with each step. “There!” he points down to a cabin at the bottom of a hill.

“Fucking finally,” Louis lets out a groan.

“That doesn’t look right…” Liam slows down his steps. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, says so right here.” Zayn turns the map towards Liam, who studies it for a few moments.

“While you two stand there like idiots, I’m going to go get our target.” Louis starts to walk faster.

“Louis, wait!” Liam calls after him, picking up his pace to catch up.

“Okay, okay. We need a plan!” Zayn tries to remind them.

“The plan is to walk in there and yell surprise,” Louis smirks. Zayn tries to hide his endearment towards Louis.

“That’s a shit plan,” Liam starts to argue. Louis just keeps walking, ignoring him. He seems determined to follow through with it. In fact, he’s practically running towards the door now. This isn’t good. What is he doing? Get out of there.

“Lou, slow down,” Zayn yells after him.

“Shh, they’ll hear you,” Liam turns to Zayn.

“Sorry,” he whispers back. Louis gets to the door and opens it slowly. Zayn and Liam start to jog towards it, but Louis just walks inside, shutting the door behind him before they catch up. A loud noise is heard, something crashing down inside.

“Lou!” Liam screams, running as fast as he can. He throws the door open, almost pulling it off its hinges, and pauses where he is.

“Surprise!” Harry and Louis scream. Liam’s face falls, standing there in disbelief.

“Told you what the plan was. Don’t look so confused.” Louis winks back to Zayn, who joins Liam in the doorway. Liam looks around, taking it all in. There’s a birthday cake sitting on the table, balloons, banners, presents even. They went all out. Liam just blinks a few times, speechless.

“Happy birthday Liam,” Harry takes a step closer, smiling as wide as he physically can. It hurts just looking at him. How does he do that?

“You guys did this for me?” Liam’s voice sounds like a whisper. I think he’s afraid to speak any louder, knowing that it would crack.

“Of course we did,” Zayn wraps an arm around him. “I told you, you belong here. You’re a part of this.”

“We all are,” Harry nods.

“Till the end,” Louis looks at Zayn as he repeats those words. Everyone turns to him.

“Yeah,” Zayn nods, agreeing to let their little thing expand to Harry and Liam. “Till the end boys.” How does he do that? Swear allegiance to them till death and then stab them in the back like he did? What am I missing?

 

“Can I tell you something Liam?” Zayn whispers, staring down at the ground. I’m not sure where we are, but it’s dark here. I know it’s another memory, I just can’t figure out when or where it took place.

“You can tell me anything,” he replies. Zayn stays quiet for an extra second. I hear his bottle clink against the floor. Honesty hour.

“Have you ever felt like you’ve gone too far with something? That there’s no turning back?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like you’re in over your head. You screwed up and you’re in way too deep. Like that.”

“Are you talking about on a mission?” I can hear the confusion in Liam’s voice. Even I’m confused listening. Is this part of his scheme?

“Yeah, I guess. Kind of.”

“What mission are you working on?”

“That’s not important,” Zayn lets out a sigh.

“Zayn, what’s going on? You can talk to me about it, whatever it is. It doesn’t have to be in some sort of code. Your secrets are my secrets. I’ll die defending them for you. You know that, right?” Liam moves closer to Zayn, patting him on the shoulder. Zayn doesn’t move from looking at the floor. I can feel my own stomach tighten, my face heating up. I thought watching this was going to help me understand Zayn, but instead it’s making me hate him all over again. Here he is, surrounded by people who love him, people who would actually die for him and he still fucks them over. He knew what he was doing; he’s practically admitting it to Liam right now. But it didn’t stop him. He didn’t change his mind or back out, he still went forward with his mission. Zayn tried to take them all out. I don’t know why I can’t just focus on that when I’m with him. What is it about him that makes everyone forget what he’s done? It’s like when you’re actually face to face with him, you can’t see him being capable of his past. But he is. He has to be. Doesn't he? “Zayn,” Liam whispers. He nods his head, showing he’s still listening.

“Yeah, I do know. It’s just that I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not that simple… it’ll get us all killed.”

“Zayn, what are you talking about?” Liam’s voice sounds so serious. It’s like he understands this isn’t a hypothetical conversation. Did he actually know all along?

“I can’t.” Zayn chugs the rest of his drink, throwing the bottle as far as he can. We can hear it shatter out of view. He reaches over to open another one as Liam places his hand on Zayn’s arm.

“It’s okay. Whatever it is-”

“Stop it. Just stop being so understanding. Why can’t you be more like Harry or Louis?” Zayn shakes Liam’s hand off of him. “Louis would kill me if he knew.” I can’t believe what I just heard. Did he really say that? It was barely even a whisper but I heard it. He was aware of everything.

“Knew what?”

“I can’t. I can’t hurt him. Fuck Liam, I screwed up so bad. I’m going to die.” Zayn starts to cry, shaking uncontrollably. Did Liam actually know all along? Is this genuine right now or is Zayn playing him? I can’t tell. All I know is even I want to hold Zayn, let him know he’ll be okay, that I won’t let anyone hurt him. Why? Why does he have this ability to fuck your life up without even meaning to? Was he trying to warn Liam? Look for another solution?

“Shh,” Liam wraps his arms around Zayn tightly, stroking the back of his head. “It’s all right mate. You’re okay. Nothing is going to hurt you. You know Louis, Harry and I would never let that happen. Till the end, remember? Till the end.”

“No,” he shakes his head harder. “No, they won’t. They won’t think that.”

“Hey, what are you getting yourself all worked up about? This is Louis and Harry you’re talking about. One of them you’ve known for years and the other worships the ground you walk on. Don’t hurt yourself like this. They’d never turn their backs on you.”

“They would if they knew. I’m not who they think, who you think Liam. I’ve been lying to everyone all alone. My whole purpose of being here…” Zayn is full on crying right now. He’s clearly having some sort of emotional breakdown. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable. He doesn’t talk about his feelings, ever. It’s like I’m pulling teeth whenever I try to get him to admit he’s human. Who is this man right now?

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m a part of the-”

“There you are. Fucking hell, we’ve been looking all over for you.” Louis yells as Harry and him barge into the room.

“Zayn?” Harry takes a step closer, kneeling down next to them.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Louis ran over to his side, placing an arm on his lower back.

“Nothing,” Zayn shakes his head. Liam can feel the shift in Zayn’s voice.

“You don’t have to be like that Zayn, they’ll understand.” Liam starts to answer for him. Zayn shoots him a look, unsure of what he’s doing. “They have families too. We all miss em mate.”

“You miss your sisters?” Harry leans his head against Zayn’s arm. “I miss my sister too. It’s weird without them innit?”

“Yeah,” Zayn offers a small smile to Liam, who just nods in return.

“You can see them if you want. Your parents too. I know what they mean to you.” Harry rubs his head against Zayn.

“I miss mine too,” Louis pats Zayn’s back. “That’s why we have each other. We’re our own family now. Nothing will rip us apart. Till the end,” Louis hugs Zayn, leaving his arm around him.

“Exactly,” Liam agrees. “Till the end.”

“Till the end!” Harry lifts his head, thrusting his fist into the air. Zayn laughs nodding with them. He doesn’t repeat their words though. In fact, I have a feeling he never repeated them again.


	29. Self Preservation

I blink a few times, seeing the headpiece on the floor. I don’t remember taking it off, but I must have. I look at Liam, who is standing in front of me, patiently waiting for me to speak first. I guess he’s unsure of what to say. So am I though. How do I react to what I just saw?

“Is it over?” My voice sounds so soft, I don’t even recognize it. He nods slowly, still waiting. It’s like he’s waiting for me to ask the question. I don’t want to… I know it’ll end in him being upset or disappointed with me for even saying the words but I don’t have a choice. The curiosity is eating me alive. Perhaps if I put it out there and we finally can be 100% open with each other we can start to find the truth in the madness. “Did you know?” I stare at him, wondering what he’ll say. “Did you know he was a traitor?”

“That’s the word you’re using?” Liam lets out a long sigh, clearly disappointed in my choice. I knew he would be but that’s what he is. No matter his reasons, he was still a traitor. It’s hard to argue with that point. “You wanted to see what it was like with him…”

“I’m sorry, maybe that was too harsh of a word but Liam, you had to have known. He was going to tell you right then and there, I saw it with my own eyes. You knew what he was and you let him go on to finish his mission.” I feel a like a little kid who found out their favorite super hero actually is human after all.

“It wasn’t him,” Liam shakes his head.

“I know we all want to believe that but you have no proof of it.”

“Those memories are all the proof I need. If we let what Trad tells us to be the only truth out there, then Lark is responsible too. Do you believe that?” I stare at Liam, unable to answer him. Of course I don’t. There’s no way it was Lark. I’d bet my life on his innocence. I’ll die clearing his name if I have to. “See,” Liam smiles, proud of himself. He knew he had me there.

“How did you know about that?”

“Harry told us. He told us everything. We’re going to find the real rat and we’re going to make them pay for everything he’s done.”

“The real rat? Liam regardless of what Zayn is or isn’t responsible for, he still IS a member of The Knights. He never denied that. Never hid it. He was ready to tell you that night. This is something that we do have proof of, and no matter how much we want to save him, he’s still the enemy.”

“It doesn’t make him guilty.”

“I know it’s confusing but everything The Knights have done he still shares the blame for. The blood is on his hands.”

“What if he tried to stop it? Maybe that’s what he was doing.”

“If that were the case he’d be dead by now.” My voice cracks on that last word. Why is the thought of Zayn dying making me upset? I’m supposed to be responsible for that, not wish it never happens.

“He said he was going to die, remember? You saw it for yourself. Maybe this was the only way to stay alive. I’m not going to burry him. Not now.” We’re both growing more and more emotional with every word. Zayn has a way of doing that to people. He brings out things you didn’t even know where there. “Niall,” Liam’s voice softens after a few minutes of complete silence. “Did you see it?”

“Yeah, I saw it.” I close my eyes, letting out a long, slow, sigh. “I know how close you lot were. I get it. He did things for you all. He was there for you. Trusted you. Loved you.”

“I can’t just turn my back on him without knowing his side. You saw that last one, you know how torn up he was about everything. That wasn’t an act Niall. That was real. It was raw.”

“I know.”

“If it was Lark…”

“I know,” I repeat, not wanting to go down that road again.

“You want to clear his name, just like I do with Zayn.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll help you. I can help you, more than you know. Just give me some time to figure things out.”

“Really?” Liam’s eyes light up as he swells with pride. I think it’s the first time he’s been able to see the hope of Zayn’s innocence in someone else’s eyes.

“Yeah,” I nod. I just want to talk to Harry first. I haven’t seen him in forever and he’s the only one I feel like talking to. He’ll know how to help me. What I should do. Fuck I miss him.

 

“Harry?” I walk into his new room. That’s what Louis keeps calling it anyway. He says Harry has replaced him in his own home. Not that I can blame his family, Harry is a charmer. “Hey,” I smile as soon as I find him sitting on the floor. “What are you doing?”

“Johannah brought me some old photos of Louis to look at,” he smiles back to me. “Look at this one,” he holds up a picture. I laugh, taking it into my hand.

“He’s going to kill you when he finds out.”

“Let him try. I’ve got you to protect me,” Harry winks, pulling me down onto the floor. His grasp was stronger than I expected, making me fall right onto him. I lift my head, looking him in the eyes. “Hi,” he leans in and kisses me. God I missed him. I forgot how amazing he could make me feel, just by being near me. I don’t ever want to move again.

“Hi,” I say as we finally pull apart. I shift my body so I’m sitting next to him. He places his hand on top of mine, staring back at me. I could just look into his eyes forever. I don’t care how cliché that is, it’s true. He’s my beginning.

“Why do I have the feeling that you’re about to talk shop with me?” He tilts his head to the side, still smiling. I look down, ashamed that he knows that’s partly the reason for coming to see him. Is this really what we’ve become? I hate it. I hate how we never see each other any more. I hate how I can’t fall asleep next to him or watch him sleep when I wake up first.

“I’m sorry,” I sigh.

“Hey, I’m just teasing you Niall.” He strokes my cheek gently. “I don’t mind it. I expect it. The League is in the middle of a huge life or death crisis and I’m your boss. It’s going to happen.”

“It shouldn’t. Why can’t we just have a normal relationship? One where our biggest complaints are that the upstairs neighbors won’t keep it down? Or that I put the empty milk back in the fridge?”

“Because we’re far from normal. You’d be bored if that were the case and you know it.”

“Not anymore. As soon as I kill the son of a bitch responsible for all of this I’m taking you away to that farm you’ve been dreaming of.”

“I think we’ll have to take Liam, Louis and Zayn with us.” I stop, straightening up a little at that last name.

“Zayn? Did I miss something?” Does he know I’ve been having doubts too?

“I don’t think he did it Niall. I know everything you’ve been told to believe and what you’ve been trained for with your mission but I don’t think he’s as guilty as it seems.” He sounds so confident in his words. Like he has something to back them up with.

“Have you been talking to Liam? Harry, I know you want to believe Zayn is innocent, and to be honest I wouldn’t even mind it at this point, I’d prefer it too, but I don’t want you to let your guard down like this.”

“It’s not just Liam…” He takes both of my hands in his again before he continues. “Niall, I need to know that you trust me… trust my judgment…”

“Of course I do Harry. I trust you with my life.”

“Then please just hear me out, without overreacting or jumping to the worst case scenario. I know you’re conflicted when it comes to Zayn and I know all you want to do is keep me safe but please let me speak.”

“Okay,” I nod. “You’re right. I do trust you and you know I respect your opinions. Please, fill me in on what changed your mind.”

“He reached out to me the other day and it’s not the first time he’s tried to talk to me. A few months back he tried to call me. After the fallout he wanted to contact me directly. I couldn’t answer it. There was too much risk to talk to him so I ignored it. I kept ignoring it till it all went away.” Harry looks down, a little upset with himself. I bet he blames everything that’s happened since on those ignored phone calls… I wonder if that’s what Zayn was talking about that day when he said he tried to make amends. He really did want to reach out and apologize. Harry looks back up at me, making sure I’m still listening. “But recently…” he starts again. “He sent me something. I don’t know how or why but Liam brought me a photo that ended up in my mail. It was one from when we were kids.” Harry looks down, struggling with this. I feel so guilty for making this harder on him. I squeeze his hands, letting him know I’m still with him. I’m on his side, always. “He needs to tell us something and I truly believe it’ll answer all of our question.”

“You want me to tell him who I really am.”

“No, don’t even think about it for a second, do you hear me? I don’t care what I think or believe, I’m not letting you put yourself in danger like that unless we’re 5,000% sure.”

“Harry, I’m the only one with access to him.”

“I don’t care. We’ll find another way.”

“Harry,”

“No Niall. I love you too much to put you at risk. You’re already out there flirting with danger as it is.”

“What did you just say?”

“I’m not going to let you do it, I’ll have Louis follow you.”

“No,” I smile. “You said you love me.” I watch Harry’s mouth open but nothing comes out. So it’s true. He loves me too. I thought I was going to be the one to tell him first but he beat me to it.

“I… I did?” I could tell he’s not sure where to go from here. If it were just a typical day I’d tease him a little bit, let him flounder before rescuing him, but not today.

“I love you too.” I lean in closer to him, letting my lips brush up against his.

“You do?”

“I do.”

“Really Niall? You’re not just saying that?” I laugh, kissing him to shut him up. As we pull back he just stares at me.

“No, I’m not just saying it. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now. I think we screwed up when we promised not to get serious. It was crap.”

“But it’ll never be safe.” Harry looks down, disappointed. I think he’s conflicted on where to go from here. We both want the same things, but he’s right. We’ll never be safe with that.

“So what? We’re not safe now. What difference does that make? When we both willingly chose this life we knew we’d never be safe again. We might as well be unsafe together.” I don’t know why but this makes me think of Zayn. We’re in a difficult situation where what’s probably safest for us doesn’t line up with what we ultimately want. We’re choosing the dangerous path just to be happy. Maybe that’s what’s he’s been trying to do all along. He’s been trying to come back to the guys, no matter what the consequences are.

“Haha so basically why not be together because we’re in just as much danger as when we’re apart? Such a romantic reason,” Harry smirks, pulling me back out of my mind.

“What can I say, I have a way with words.” I smile, leaning in again and wrapping my arms around Harry. “You know I mean it though. I love you. When I thought I was going to lose you…” I shake my head, unable to let my mind go back there.

“You’re not. You never will.” He presses his lips against mine, placing his hands on my lower back.

“Can you promise me that?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then let me do this for you.” Harry tightens his arms around me, waiting for me to continue. “You’re never going to be fully happy until we know for sure. Let me set something up for Liam and Zayn. I can do it.”

“Niall,” I can hear the internal battle in Harry’s voice. He’s struggling with how to reply because he knows I’m right.

“I won’t be alone. Liam will be with me and you know he won’t let anything happen to me. Just like you know Zayn won’t try to hurt him.”

“You believe that?” Harry furrows his eyebrows together. “Did I miss something?”

“Liam showed me his past. I saw some moments between you all and I get it. I know why it’s hurting you so much. Lets end this, once and for all. Liam and I will meet up with him somewhere safe. You and Louis can even watch the interaction from here and-”

“No.”

“Harry-”

“NO. I’m going to be there.”

“Harry, someone just tried to kill you.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to sit back here and watch as you throw yourself in danger, once again to solve my problems.”

“Your problems are my problems too.” I lean my forehead against his, watching him smile.

“Then lets solve them together.” He kisses me softly, refusing to pull away. I think we’ve both had enough with this conversation. We know where we stand. No matter what he says I’m always going to do stupid shit to protect him, just like he’ll always be right there to intervene when I need him.

“Always,” I whisper to him.

 

“Absolutely no fucking way,” Louis screams.

“Lou, this isn’t up to you.” I stare at him, trying to think of how to reason with him. There is no reasoning with him to be honest, not when he’s this passionate about something.

“Like hell it’s not! If you think for one fucking second I’m going to sit back on me arse while you and Liam go after a psychotic maniac you’re out of your bloody mind.”

“He might be innocent.”

“And you might be dead. Harry’s killer might still be sticking poison onto his shit. Liam might be insane.” He throws his arms in the air, frustrated.

“What if he is though.”

“He’s not.”

“But what if he is.”

“He tried to kill us.”

“I saw it... How you two were around one another. I know you were close. I know you knew him before Liam and you two had a special bond-”

“Shut your fucking mouth. He’s nothing.”

“Do you really want to see him dead? I know you Louis. As much as you’re hurting you don’t mean anything you say when it comes to Zayn.”

“Like hell I don’t.”

“You’re just a hot head. You get worked up and you want to hurt him like he’s hurt you but if push came to shove you couldn’t do it.”

“Fuck off. If I saw him as often as you have he’d be dead already. Don’t place your failures onto me.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll take you straight to his place. You can pop right in, terminate him and let us all be free. Come on,” I wave towards the door. “I’ll drive you over right now.”

“Fuck off,” Louis rolls his eyes.

“That’s what I thought.”

“I could do it,” his voice sounds almost demonic. “I could fucking end that little shit.”

“But you wouldn’t. That’s the difference.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“I know you spent most of your time with him. I know all of your missions were done as a team. That bonds you together. I know, I had that with Lark.”

“And you killed him,” Louis nods. He seems proud of himself fore being able to prove something.

“He made me do it.” I look down, reliving it in my mind. “I can still feel it. All of it. Sometimes when I’m asleep I wake up to the sound of the gun.” I’ve never actually talked about how fucked up that was. The only person I would want to open up to is Harry and he’s the one who ordered me to do it. If he knew what it’s done to me, he’d never forgive himself. Louis looks like he instantly regrets everything he’s ever said to me.

“Niall,”

“It’s my fault. For the longest time I tried to convince myself it wasn’t. That I shouldn’t feel any guilt. Hell I even had me believing I didn’t feel guilty. Isn’t that mad?” I laugh a little.

“No, it’s self preservation. We all did it.”

“Did we?” I stare at him, waiting for an answer. “Did you?” He looks down, unable to hold my gaze for much longer. “Or was that a new rule. A change when shit went to hell? Because I got the feeling that this place actually used to be fun.”

“Don’t do this to yourself.”

“As close as I was to Lark, I’m nowhere near what you were to Zayn. Which is why you can’t be there. If something happened and you had to interact, you’d never forgive yourself Louis.”

“And Liam would?” He actually sounds a little offended with those words.

“Liam wouldn’t fight back.” The words get stuck in my throat.

“So you’d rather send him to his funeral than bring me in?”

“I’d rather stand next to the one who will be the most rational in this situation. I don’t know how you’d act being in the same room as him after all this time. There’s still so much about your relationship with him that I don’t know. All of you really. But Liam opened the door for me to see a little inside his and I know he trusts me. He wants everything to work out. The best bet to keeping everyone alive is if I take him to Zayn.” Louis just stares at me, not even attempting to say a single word. I wish I could read his mind. Do we have a gadget for that? Because I need to steal that shit if we do. It would save me so much trouble.

“I don’t care how far away you put us, if he does anything I’ll be there to help you before you can blink.”

“I know,” I smile. I walk a little closer, giving him a quick hug.

“Have you told Harry how you feel about Lark?” He whispers in my ear, holding on when I try to pull back.

“It would ruin him.”

“Yeah, it would.”


	30. Four

“Are you sure he’s going to be there?” Liam sounds nervous as he drives his car towards the coffee shop.

“Oh he’ll be there all right,” I nod.

“How do you know?”

“Just trust me,” I sigh. I knew this was going to be torture for everyone involved.

“Don’t forget to breath Niall,” Harry says through the earpiece. I look into the rearview mirror and smile. It’s fitting how he can see everything I see. These camera contacts are pretty legit.

“Remember the plan,” Liam starts to say for the five hundredth time.

“Are we really going over this again?” I make a face into the mirror and hear Harry laugh in my ear. It’s such a beautiful sound. Makes me instantly feel better about everything going on.

“I just want to make sure it goes smoothly. Back me up guys.” Liam has his fatherly tone going on.

“It’s better to be positive you know what you’re doing.” Louis’s voice chimes in into our earpieces. Of course he’d side with Liam.

“Fine,” I roll my eyes. “I walk in first, act normal, say a quick hello to Zayn and then hop up to do my gig,” I start to explain.

“Can’t wait to finally hear you sing,” Louis laughs. I shoot a look into the mirror, meant for him.

“Then I walk in,” Liam continues the plan. He obviously isn’t pleased with Louis’s attempts to rile me up. “You act as if you don’t know me…”

“Is that really going to work though? Zayn’s going to know.”

“Probably,” Liam agrees. “But it won’t be as obvious. I can play it off like I’ve been tracking him ever since his message. I’ll talk to him while you do your thing and then when you’re finished you can come over and make sure he’s okay.”

“You mean make sure you’re okay,” I correct him.

“You’re not supposed to know me.”

“Fuck off with that. If he pulls a gun or some shit I’m going to know you.”

“It’s not going to come to that,” Liam sounds so serious all of a sudden. He almost seems to be warning me against what I was saying. It’s impossible to talk to him when he’s like this.

“I’m not saying it’s going to happen Liam, I just want us to be prepared for everything.”

“Niall is right,” Harry agrees. “I know it’s not what you want to hear right now, but there are a million ways this could play out. We need to just be alert to anything, no matter how you feel Liam. It’s what a good agent does.”

“A good agent studies his subject and prepares based off of how they’ll react. That’s what I’ve done.” Liam doesn’t seem to even want to acknowledge that something could go wrong, which only makes this mission a million times more difficult. I’m fucked if it doesn’t go according to plan. I’ll basically be on my own to fix it and save both Liam and myself. By the time Louis and Harry get to where we are someone will already be dead. Fuck, what am I doing? Why didn’t I take Louis with me? Or Harry? At least they’d be ready to attack if need be. Well, that’s probably not true but they’d say all the right things to make me believe they would.

“A good agent keeps their heart out of it and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect themselves and their partner,” Harry sounds a little pissed all of a sudden. I guess he’s starting to worry about my safety too.

“Yeah Liam, you have our boss’s bed buddy out there with ya. If you fuck this up you’ll be sleeping in the dungeons the rest of your life,” Louis laughs.

“We’re both going to be fine. Zayn won’t hurt us,” he replies.

“It’s like talking to a brick wall,” I shake my head.

“This was a mistake,” Harry whispers. I look into the mirror and give a weak smile.

“We’ll be okay. We’re in public. He won’t make a scene, not there. He loves it too much.” I try to remind Harry why we chose this place. It’s the one most likely to keep things civil. Zayn is known there, he goes every single day. He’s not about to shoot the place up and act like nothing happened. He wouldn’t get away with that. People would be able to identify him.

“Be careful,” Harry replies. I smile wider into the mirror.

“It sucks being the one to worry, doesn’t it?’ I wink.

“All right lads, lets try to remember you’re not alone,” Louis says. I can practically see him rolling his eyes.

“We’re here,” I look around at our surroundings. “What if you stay in my place and I bring Zayn back there?” I don’t know why but I suddenly have a bad feeling about our plan. It’s too public. I know that’s what we wanted but I don’t think it’s right anymore.

“Niall, what are you doing?” Harry asks, more worried than before.

“Are you second guessing this?” Louis chimes in. “Cause it’s a little too late mate.”

“I’m not second guessing the meet, I’m just… I don’t think the café is a good idea.”

“What are you talking about? The café was your idea.” Liam looks at me, eyebrows furrowed. He’s not pleased with my last minute panic, that’s for sure.

“All I’m saying is I have a bad feeling about this… if you meet Zayn it should be in a private setting. Somewhere you can control what happens. There are too many variables in public,” I explain.

“The point was to make sure he’s controlled. He can’t overreact or do something dangerous in a room full of people, remember?” Louis sounds just as confused as Liam looks. How can I explain this better to them?

“There’s Zayn,” Liam cuts me off. I look to where he’s pointing and watch as Zayn walks up to the café. Fuck. There’s no time to change this. I just need to be alert and ready. Liam is depending on me.

“Niall, are you sure you’re okay? We can call it all off,” Harry’s voice sounds so soft. I wish I could see him right now. I know his eyes are wide, filled with worry. His mouth is probably shifting down with each passing second of silence.

“No, I don’t want to call it off. I’m fine. Lets do this,” I nod to Liam who smiles.

“Thank you,” he says. I just nod again, closing my eyes for a quick second. I was trained to do this. I was trained to know how to act under pressure and when things go wrong. I can handle this… I get out of the car, grabbing my guitar from the back. Here we go. Just act normal. You can do this Niall. This is for everyone who has been hurt by Zayn in one way or another. The lies that they might be, the outcome, the disaster. This is for Harry, Louis, Liam and even for Lark. This is for his reputation. His name. Everything he ever stood for. I look down to the ground as I cross the street. He would’ve told me to change the location. Listen to my gut. That was what he always said. Why didn’t I stand by my words? It’s because of Liam. He’s so excited to finally see Zayn again, I couldn’t change it on him last minute. It’s okay. I’m a trained agent. I can put my feelings aside. From this moment on I don’t give a fuck about Zayn. Liam is my priority. Keeping him safe. I’ll do what I have to. If this goes wrong, I’ll make sure he walks out of here alive.

“Neil!” Zayn smiles as soon as I walk inside. “You all right?”

“Yeah, you?” I force a smile back. Zayn walks over and hugs me. He seems so happy this morning. I wonder what happened.

“I’m great. Got to see my family last night.”

“Sounds fun. Tell me about it after the set?”

“Absolutely. I’ll save you a drink,” he winks. I turn around and head to the stage. Fuck. I can see Liam already getting out of his car. He’s way too eager for this. What is he doing?

“Breathe,” Harry whispers into my ear. “You’ll be fine. I’m right here. If anything happens I’ll be there before you can blink.” I laugh softly. If only that were true. It’s weird how people can say things to comfort you that have no truth to them. In fact, do people ever actually mean what they say in that situation? It’s all a bunch of nonsense. The ‘I know what it feels like’ bullshit or the ‘I’ll be right here’ crap. It’s never true. But it still helps, doesn’t it? Maybe sometimes all you need is a lie to feel better. That’s how Liam’s survived this entire time. He’s convinced himself Zayn hasn’t betrayed him. That he never has, but that’s a lie no matter what. Zayn is a member of The Knights. Even if he didn’t do anything we’ve blamed him for he still betrayed The League. “Niall,” harry says again. I look up to my reflection in the window. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper. I look through my reflection to see Liam still standing there. I don’t know what he’s waiting for. Maybe he knows it’s a little too soon to walk in, or maybe he’s having second thoughts. Part of me hopes I hear him chime in my ear to say my plan to bring Zayn back to my place was a better option.

“Any day now lad, I’m dying to hear this voice of yours.” Louis teases me. I roll my eyes and turn around to face Zayn. He smiles at me, waiting for me to begin. Here goes nothing.

 

After my third cover Liam walks through the door. I only know it’s him because of the look on Zayn’s face. It’s a mix of being confused and terrified. I follow his gaze to Liam, who walks slowly towards Zayn. Fuck. I wish I could be there to hear what’s going on. I watch Liam walk right up to him. Zayn practically jumps out of his seat. He seems pissed now. Should I stop and walk over to them? “Why can’t we hear them?” I whisper to Harry and Louis.

“Asshole took out his communicator. Left it in the car like the genius he is. Should’ve saw that coming,” Louis is seething. I’m straight terrified at the sound of his voice. Thank god he’s not in this room. He’d straight up murder someone.

“Niall, you have eyes on them, if you think it’s getting heated intervene.” Harry tries to sound calm, like nothing is bothering him. He knows if he starts to unravel my concentration would break. I look to Liam and Zayn so the guys know what’s going on. I can only see Zayn’s face but he looks tense. That feeling in my gut only starts to grow. I should’ve listened to it.

“Something’s not right,” I whisper. I’ve stopped singing at this point, just strumming a few notes on the guitar to make it seem like I’m still going. At least the background noise would convince Zayn I didn’t stop, since he’s not paying much attention to me anymore anyway. “Fuck this,” I drop the guitar and start to head over towards Liam and Zayn. Each step I take closer I can see they’re fighting. It’s a quiet kind of fight, so that no one else can hear what they’re saying, but they’re not agreeing. Zayn is pissed. He looks like he’s straight up about to left hook Liam. It doesn’t make sense. Why is he so frustrated? If he’s been reaching out to the guys, why doesn’t he want to see them? I’m walking directly up behind Liam, almost like his shadow. I’m close enough to finally hear the whispers. Before I can start to piece together what they’re saying, I hear the window behind me shattering. With less than a millisecond to react I shove Liam to the side. My eyes lock with Zayn as I fall to the floor. I see Zayn turn around and run through the back as everyone starts screaming around us. I try to look for Liam but everything just turns to black.

 

“Niall. Niall. Can you hear me?” Harry screams through the earpiece. “We’re coming. Hang in there. Niall. We’re coming.”

“Niall,” Liam kneels down beside him. “I’m so sorry. What have I done?” Everyone has cleared out of the café now, leaving Niall lying cold on the floor. Liam wraps his arms around him, cradling him softly. “Please, Niall. Please.”

“Niall,” Harry runs through the door. He falls immediately onto the floor. “Can you hear me? Niall? Niall, say something.”

“I fucking knew it,” Louis snuck in behind Harry. He just stands there, stone cold. “Fucking traitor would’ve killed you Liam.”

“We don’t know that,” Liam starts to try to defend Zayn.

“Are you fucking serious? Niall is lying on the ground bleeding out from a bullet meant from you. What the hell do you mean we don’t know that?”

“Zayn didn’t pull the trigger. It came from the outside. In fact he was trying to-”

“Shut up. Both of you,” Harry screams. He looks back to Niall, holding his head in his hands. “Call someone. Anyone. Call for help,” He orders Louis and Liam. They both shrink back a little, looking ashamed of themselves. “Hang in there Niall. We’ll get you help. I promise.”

“Lets bring him back to me home. Mum will help him.” Louis starts talking reasonably now. Harry turns to him, thinking about this.

“What if we’re followed? They know we’re all here,” Harry sounds torn. He doesn’t want to lead The Knights straight to Johannah and her family but at the same time he can’t watch Niall bleed out on the floor in front of him.

“I knew the risks when I took you, I know the risks now. Quickly. I don’t know how much time he has.” Louis motions to Liam to pick Niall up. Liam stands, looking down for a second.

“Can we move him?” He turns back to Louis, afraid to touch Niall.

“We don’t have a choice,” Louis reminds him. Liam just turns to Harry, waiting for the okay.

“Go ahead,” Harry whispers. Liam picks Niall up and they all run back out to the car. It’s totaled. Looks like a bomb was set off on it. “Fuck.”

“We’ll get another one,” Louis looks around. He acts quickly, jumping in the middle of the road as a car comes towards them. The car stops short, almost hitting him. Louis walks around to the driver’s side. “Excuse me, but we need this more than you,” he throws the guy out of the car and motions to Harry. Harry puts the man in a sleeper hold.

“Sorry,” he whispers as the guy slowly stops resisting. Liam opens the back of the car and lays Niall down.

“Come on,” Louis yells from the driver’s seat. Harry jumps into the passenger side, looking back at Liam and Niall the entire time.

“I’m so sorry,” Liam says again. Harry ignores him, staring directly at the blood soaking through to the front of Niall’s shirt.

“It’s close to his heart,” Harry whispers. “Look at it. He’s not…”

“Fuck off with that. You know what a miracle worker me mum is. Look at you. You’re back to perfect health and you looked worse than that. Should’ve heard how freaked Niall was when it was you lying back there. He’s going to be fine.” Louis drives as fast as he can, breaking every traffic law there is.

“I never should’ve agreed to this. It was a stupid idea. I let my feelings get in the way of the facts,” Harry sounds disappointed. He’ll never forgive himself if Niall doesn’t wake up. In fact, he’s starting to understand how Niall’s always felt. When it comes to protecting Harry, Niall was always the one to take full responsibility and blame. He was willing to kill Zayn, no matter what he thought or felt for the guy just to make sure Harry was safe, and now the tables are turned. Harry stares at Niall, letting the same thoughts fill his head. No matter what happens, he won’t let Zayn get away with this one. This time it’s personal. He could’ve done whatever he wanted to Harry, but not to Niall.

“You were doing what you thought was right. You can’t second-guess yourself now. Niall wouldn’t want that,” Liam tries to talk some sense into Harry. Harry doesn’t even want to acknowledge Liam’s presence though. He blames him.

“He knew something was wrong with the plan. He didn’t feel safe and we pushed him to continue with it anyway. This is on all of us,” Louis tries to take some of the weighted blame off of Harry’s shoulders but it only made him feel worse.

“He did know. He knew and I didn’t pull the plug,” Harry sounds like he’s about to cry. He’s been holding it together long enough, knowing the second he starts he won’t be able to stop.

“Someone’s following us,” Louis abruptly says. “I’ve been trying to shake him, but nothing’s worked. When we get there, Liam I want you to take Harry and Niall right inside. Make sure all the doors are locked and everyone is in safe. I’ll take care of whoever that is.”

“No, I’ll help you-” Harry starts to argue.

“No,” Louis says louder. “Everyone else comes first. You hear me? Help me by keeping my family safe. I did this to save Niall, now you do this for me.” Harry just nods, unable to speak. This is the first time everything seems to be crumbling around the guys. Every time they think they’re taking one step forward, they end up two steps back. Whoever is pulling the strings has officially tied them up.

“I’m sorry it came to this,” Harry whispers. He hopes Louis knows how much he cares about his family. That this wasn’t what he wanted.

“Me too,” Louis whispers back. Now it seems like he’s the one who is about to break down.

“No matter what’s happened…” Liam starts to try and let the guys know how he feels. Louis looks at him through the rearview mirror and Harry looks him in the eyes for the first time since they’ve gotten into this car.

“We know,” Harry says.

“It goes three ways,” Louis adds. He turns the corner to the street his home is on.

“Four,” Harry looks down to Niall.

“Four,” Louis agrees. His home comes into view and they all take a deep breath together, getting their game faces on.


	31. Do What You Need To

Liam and Harry jump out of the car, running straight into the house, while Louis slowly steps out. He moves towards the car pulling up behind the one he stole. With a quick glance back, Louis nods to Harry who slams the door shut. He wonders if that’ll be the last time he ever see Harry. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so hard on him this last year. Things just got so difficult between them. Between all of them to be honest. Zayn was the glue that held them together and when he left, it just went to hell in different ways. Louis turns back to the car in front of him, waiting to attack. There’s so much anger built up inside of him that he can use. That’ll be his advantage. He’ll work off his emotions. He shakes his head, waiting for someone to come out knowing he doesn’t actually have any advantage. He’s not really sure what he’s doing to be honest; he doesn’t have a single weapon on him. He’s unprepared. He starts to think of how to attack, resorting to praying that whoever comes out of the car doesn’t come out shooting. This would be over in seconds if they did. Hell they’d even get right inside… But he won’t let himself think like that. He knows what he has to do. His job is to stop them, or at least stall them long enough for Liam and Harry to get a plan together. Finally a door starts to open. Louis tenses up, ready to spring into action.

“Lou, it’s me.” Zayn hops out, arms straight up into the air. “I’m not here to fight. I’m not armed. Look. I just want to talk. Please.” Louis can’t believe his own eyes. His mind is in overdrive as he thinks to himself; did Zayn really dare show his face here?

“Just wanna talk? Like Liam just wanted to you fucking cunt,” Louis lunges at Zayn, ready to engage in hand-to-hand combat. He’s not sure if Zayn was being honest about being unarmed and he isn’t taking any chances. Zayn doesn’t put up any resistance, allowing Louis to pin him to the floor. “Fight back you pussy.”

“I’m not going to fight you,” Zayn sounds so defeated. Exhausted. It’s no wonder he had already given up.

“Fine, I’ll finish this once and for all.” Louis’s grip tightens on Zayn, moving his arms to his neck. He just holds him like that, waiting. He knows all he has to do is apply pressure and Zayn is out of their lives for good. He can save their futures, avenge Niall… Hell he’d even finish Niall’s mission for him so he could come back to them after all this. He can’t stop thinking of how happy that would make Niall. He starts to add a little bit of pressure to Zayn’s neck.

“Do what you need to,” Zayn whispers. “I’m sorry.” He closes his eyes, ready to finally release all the guilt he’s been holding on to for so long. Louis feels a tear roll down his cheek as he throws Zayn across the lawn.

“Why did you fucking come back? Is this what you wanted? To prove we’re all a bunch of fucking cowards? That no matter what shit you pull none of us will be able to terminate you?”

“Are you even going to listen to anything I say?”

“Last time someone tried that Niall ended up bleeding out on the fucking floor as you ran away.”

“Niall? I had a feeling…”

“He could be dead.”

“That wasn’t me, Louis. I was standing right there. Did you see a gun in my hands?” Zayn is still lying on the floor where Louis threw him. It’s almost as if he refuses to use any of his strength. He’s given up completely.

“It was one of your men.”

“It was one of our men,” Zayn shook his head. “You have another double agent. I’ve been trying to figure out who it was and when I finally had proof I tried to warn you. They must’ve known what you were doing and followed you. It was the best way to end one of us. They know I’m still trying to save you guys. I’ve always been trying to save you.”

“Is that what you were doing when you watched Niall fall to the floor? Left him there to save yourself? You want us to believe this crap but you have nothing to back it up with.”

“I went to confront the shooter but he was gone before I got there.”

“Cut the crap Zayn,” Louis shouts. “For once in your life, be honest. You were a member of The Knights from the beginning, yeah? You came into The League to take us out. All of us. Including Harry.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.”

“Yeah. Yes, okay? I was a member of The Knights first. I joined their group, trained with them and was assigned a mission to take you all out. Are you happy? Those were my orders, but I couldn’t do it. Don’t you see that? I couldn’t fucking do it.” Zayn looks down, running his hands through his hair. He’s shaking now, unable to steady himself. “It almost cost me my life. I had to cover my tracks, try and get back in good with The Knights to save you. I knew you were going to be targeted and if anything happened to you lot because of me, I’d never forgive myself.”

“That’s funny because everything that happened to us was because of you. You ruined us.”

 

“What do you think is happening out there?” Liam whispers, looking at Harry. They’re standing outside two bedroom doors, guarding them with their lives. One contains Niall and Johannah, the other Louis’s siblings. Liam looks like he was born for this job, but Harry on the other hand… he looks like he’s about to lose his mind. He’s so displaced. Even he doesn’t know what he’s thinking at the moment.

“I don’t know.”

“Should one of us go see? He might need help.”

“No. Louis was clear. He wants us to stay here.” Harry doesn’t even sound sure of his orders.

“You’re the boss, you can change the plan.” Liam is trying to be helpful but he’s only making it worse.

“Like I should’ve? At the café?” Harry turns to face him, still angry about everything. Liam shrinks back, unsure of what to do. He’s never seen Harry this upset with him before.

“We can blame ourselves all day for what happened, but it’s not going to help Niall.” Liam sighs, wondering if Harry can be reasoned with right now. “You know he wouldn’t want us to rip each other apart.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry bites his lip. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

“I know,” Liam steps closer, wrapping his arms around Harry. “None of us do right now. But that’s the best part, you know? We don’t know what we’re doing together. No one is alone.”

“Except Louis,” Harry pulls back. “You’re the better guard and you know it. I can’t sit still. In fact it’s making me lose my bloody mind standing here. All I keep thinking about is Niall and I can’t do this. I need you to stay here while I go check up on Louis.”

“Of course. I’ll guard them all with my life,” Liam nods. He smiles and adds, “I was trained for this you know. I had the important job of protecting my boss once.”

“He must’ve really trusted you then,” Harry smiles back. They share another quick hug and Harry turns around.

“Do you want to go in there first?” Liam makes Harry pause mid step. Harry just keeps looking forward, not turning around.

“I can’t. If I go in there I won’t leave. You were right, Niall is in good hands right now and there’s nothing else I can do to help him but Louis,” Harry just nods.

“Okay.”

“If… Just let Niall… Tell him…”

“Tell him yourself when he wakes up.”

“Yeah… But…”

“Yeah.” Liam tries not to let his voice waiver, even a little bit. Harry needs someone to be like stone right now, and he’s all he’s got. Harry turns around, nodding appreciatively to Liam.

“Thank you,” he turns back and heads towards the door. Harry keeps looking over his shoulder, to any window he can. He has no idea what he’s stepping out to, all he knows is Louis never came inside. He starts jumping to the worst-case scenario’s because there is nothing that would’ve stopped Louis from making sure his family is okay. Harry looks out the door, freezing when his eyes land on Zayn. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, he thinks. He shakes his head, nostrils flaring as he feels the rage build up. Harry can’t understand how Zayn is still alive, because Louis should’ve ended him by now. He throws the door open, walking outside like a man on a mission.

“Harry,” Louis looks at him confused. “What are you…”

“You never came in. I thought you needed help or…” Harry shakes his head. “This what’s been keeping you?” He points to Zayn. “Really now?”

“Harry,” Zayn stares at him. He finally rises up onto his feet, mouth left open. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“You don’t get to talk,” Harry turns back to Louis. “What the hell have you been doing out here this entire time? We’ve been worried sick. Between Niall and you I was about to lose my god damned mind.”

“I couldn’t fucking do it. I had him in a choke hold and I couldn’t do it.” Louis shakes his head. “I needed to hear him admit it all.”

“Did it make you feel better to hear the shit he’s pulled?” Harry honestly isn’t sure who he is in this moment. He’s never felt this much anger and hurt in his life. He’s not sure how to control it. All he wants to do is beat Zayn to a bloody pulp. The rage is just multiplying with ever second he looks at him.

“Harry please,” Zayn tries to start again.

“I told you you don’t get to fucking speak.” Harry turns back to Louis, waiting for him to say something.

“I don’t fucking know. What do I look like, Oprah?” Louis is torn between what he thinks and what he feels. Unlike Harry, he’s gotten to a point where he is seeing more than just red. He wants to actually hear what Zayn has to say. His curiosity has gotten the best of him. “He just admitted to joining The League for the sole purpose of taking us all out.”

“I never should’ve trusted you,” Harry turns to Zayn. “After all we’d been through when we were younger you were willing to kill me for them?”

“They convinced me you changed. That you were the enemy. I didn’t know that was a lie until I saw you again.” Zayn starts to defend himself, unsure if that’ll help or hurt him at this point.

“You were going to murder me because someone told you to… I’m not the one who changed.”

“You would’ve done the same thing.”

“You’re still breathing aren’t you?” Harry flails his arms out in frustration. “Every god damn time I tried to end you or send someone to end you I canceled it. I couldn’t order anyone to do it. I thought if you never showed your face again it didn’t matter if you were alive or dead. At least my hands would be clean. But you couldn’t stay away. You kept attacking and attacking us and you left me no choice. And even then, I had second thoughts. Niall and Liam came to you today out of respect for our friendship. The Zayn I used to know. But he died a long time ago. I swear to go if Niall dies there won’t be a hole deep enough for you to hide in. I will personally kill every single Knight I can find and I won’t stop there.” Harry’s voice sounded like a stranger to him. The emotionless hate coming out wasn’t something he recognized. No one did. Louis and Zayn just stood there, unsure how to follow that up.

“I’m sorry about what happened to Niall but it wasn’t me Harry,” Zayn looked like he was ready to be hit. He cautiously tried to continue, “you saw me. I know you were watching. I was facing them, without a gun.”

“It was your fault.”

“Probably. I’m sure I was being watched but I didn’t ask to meet them there. I had no idea Liam would show up. How could I have had someone waiting to take him out? The shot was meant for him, anyone could see that. Niall just pushed him out of the way. So how could I have planned to shoot someone I didn’t even know was going to be there?” Zayn is practically begging Harry to listen to him. He knows the only shot he has to get Louis on his side is if he can win Harry back. Louis is too stubborn to give in before the others.

“Then who was it?” Harry stared at him, not backing off. “Someone needs to pay for this.”

“The same person who poisoned you.”

“How the fuck did you know about that?” Louis asks, clearly confused.

“I told you Lou, we have a double agent in the mix. He wants to finish what I started and what you started. He wants all of us gone because he knows the minute we’re able to talk it all out we’ll know too much.” Zayn looks from Harry to Louis and back to Harry again. “With my knowledge and whatever you guys have dug up, we can nail this son of a bitch once and for all.”

“Do you honestly think we’ll be able to trust you again? Are you fucking mad?” Louis laughs, shaking his head.

“I don’t expect you to trust me, I just expect you to listen to me. I’ll tell you everything I know. You don’t have to share a damn thing with me. Just let me help you guys.” Zayn scratches the back of his neck, waiting for Harry to speak. He knows who gives the orders around here. It’s the only reason he’s still breathing. “Please, let me help you.”

“And if I say no?” Harry challenges him. Zayn’s answer here is more important than anything else he’s said yet.

“Then I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. Torture me, throw me in the dungeon, kill me.” Zayn shrugs. “I won’t fight you.”

“I’m not letting you out of our sight now. Louis, it’s your house. Do you want to send him to The League or bring him inside to keep an eye on him?” Harry feels his chest tighten, thinking about sending Zayn to The League. He’d be killed there for sure. No one would forgive him for the shit that’s happened. None of them would even listen to him try to explain his side. And since Harry knows there really is a double agent hiding somewhere on his team, they’d clearly take Zayn out first chance they had.

“Inside? Where my sisters are? With me mum? And Niall? You trust him all of a sudden to throw him into the same house as Niall while he fights for his life?” Louis knows how to make Harry second guess himself. He looks down and takes a deep breath in.

“I don’t trust him at all, but we need whatever it is that he knows. For Niall. For all of us. Zayn was right when he said the shot was meant for Liam. That means both Liam and myself has been targeted. Who do you think is next Louis?” Harry watches Louis take in the information before continuing. “I know none of us feel confident in keeping Zayn around, aside from Liam, but if we want to stand a chance we need him. I hate to say it but we do. He knows everything there is about The Knights. If we all stay on guard we’ll be aware of anytime he blinks.”

“You’re asking me to allow this traitor to share space with my family,” Louis replies. He loves pushing the boundaries sometimes. It’s that stubborn streak.

“Do you honestly think I would harm your family? Innocent people?” Zayn looks at Louis, disappointed and disgusted in what is thought of him. “Has it really gotten this bad? Louis I would rather die.”

“Believe me, a lot worse will happen if they’re hurt.” Louis has no idea why he keeps pushing it; he knows deep in his heart that Zayn would never do anything to his family. It’s his mind that still won’t allow him to budge even a little bit. Not yet. He needs to hold onto something, at least until Niall can forgive Zayn on his own. Only then will Louis give into what he truly believes deep down inside.

“I think we can all agree if anyone inside ends up in pain, Zayn won’t make it out. Even he isn’t that stupid.” Harry nods to Louis, making sure he’s aware that he knows Harry is loyal to him first. Louis just nods back, not wanting to say anything else. “All right then, it’s settled. We’ll bring Zayn inside, find out what the fuck is going on once and for all.” Harry feels guilty for agreeing to this. He feels like he betrayed Niall all of a sudden. The last thing Niall saw before falling to the floor was Zayn’s face. He watched him run away as he started to bleed out. What kind of a boyfriend was Harry to now be breaking bread with Zayn while Niall fights to live? Harry couldn’t stop thinking about what Niall would think, what he would say even. He turned to walk inside, feeling a hand placed onto his shoulder.

“He’d understand,” Louis assures him.

“Would he?”

“When it was you in there, he wanted to raise hell on earth to find who did it. He blamed himself, like you are, and he was willing to do whatever it took. He even fought with Liam, saying it was Zayn. He was ready to kill him right then and there for you, but he didn’t. Just like you now. He’d understand the doubt. He had it himself. You’re not betraying him. If anything you’re doing exactly what he would’ve wanted Harry. You know the last thing he would want would be for you to kill Zayn and carry that guilt with you. Especially if he was innocent.”

“Since when did you become team Zayn?” Harry teases with a small smile. Normally Louis wouldn’t let him get away with a jab like that, but this time it’s different. Louis just laughs with him.

“Right, that’s what that was. Not in anyway a supportive speech to keep you from the deep end.” He rolls his eyes. “Okay you, lets go.” Louis turns to Zayn, waving him inside his home. Zayn just smiles after hearing what Louis had said. “That wasn’t for you.”

“I know,” Zayn nods. “But you still said it.”

“For fucks sake,” Louis sighs. He follows Zayn inside and watches Harry head straight to where Niall is. Any minute now Liam is going to come running down that hall, all smiley and excited. Just the thought of it is making Louis sick. It’s too soon. In fact, he believes all of this is too soon. Can’t it wait until Niall is okay? That’s all Louis cares about in this moment. Well, that’s all he wants anyone to believe he cares about. He looks out of the corner of his eye to Zayn who is just standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Dumb cunt can’t even stand in a room properly, he thinks to himself with a small smile.


	32. All of us. Together

“Zayn?” Liam runs down the hallway, stopping as his eyes land on his old friend. “It’s true. You came.”

“I’m sorry about what happened earlier Liam, I was happy to see you I just-” Zayn starts to apologize but stops when Liam wraps his arms around him. Louis rolls his eyes and walks out of the room, not wanting to be a part of this little love fest reunion. Zayn smiles, looking at Liam as they pull apart.

“I’ve always been on your side,” Liam reminds him. “I will always believe in you.”

“I never meant for it to get like this. Everything I’ve done has been me trying to save you guys.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Liam shakes his head. “I don’t care. I know you’re innocent.” There’s a slight pause as the two guys start to think of something to say. They don’t want to talk business, of The League or The Knights. To be fair, they’re both sick of it and neither one of them really cares any more.

“How is he?” Zayn’s face falls a little, waiting for an answer.

“Niall?” Liam wants to make sure he knows who Zayn is asking about. He could’ve been talking about any of the guys to be fair.

“Yeah… Niall,” Zayn nods. He looks to the floor, bracing himself.

“I don’t know. He’s still… He’s still being looked at. It’s kind of a wonky surgery going on in there.”

“He was a good friend to me.”

“I’m sure he was. He’s a good friend to all of us.”

“I knew. I just had this feeling about him. From the moment I met him I was instantly drawn to him like with you lot.”

“Yeah, we all felt it too. He’s meant to be a part of this.” Liam smiles, watching Zayn pull back a little. “We all are.” Zayn laughs lightly.

“Subtle.”

“It’s true. We’re meant to be a five piece. All of us. Together. It’s going to come back.”

“I hope you’re right. I really have missed everyone. My life just feels so meaningless with out all of you. Everything is different. The me I was back then no longer exists.”

“I don’t think any of us are the same right now. But we’ll all get there again.” Liam offers a reassuring smile, forcing Zayn to smile back. “I’m glad you reached out to us.”

“Tried to any way.”

“It’s the only reason we’re here with you right now.”

“Yeah, and the reason Niall is…” Zayn stops himself, sighing loudly.

“Now you’re starting to sound like Louis.”

“He’s right you know.”

“Did I really just hear that? You’re saying Louis is right?” Liam mocks disbelief. “And you say things changed.”

“Just don’t tell him I said that… on second thought it might help me out a little bit. Lighten him up. And we both know I need all the help I can get.”

“He’ll come around,” Liam nods.

“And Harry?” Zayn asks, his question lingering in the air. Liam seems to be thinking a little harder on this one, waiting for the perfect word choice before replying.

“He’s going to need Niall to wake up before he can think or act rationally.” Liam turns to Zayn, looking him in the eyes. “He loves him. They love each other really. I don’t know what will happen if Harry loses him. I suppose we’ll all lose Harry too in some way.”

“I had a feeling, the way Harry was acting outside.” Zayn looks down at his feet, feeling too uncomfortable to hold Liam’s gaze. He starts to feel like he screwed their lives up more than he’ll be able to help.

“Don’t do that.” Liam knows Zayn too well to let him dwell on this. “It’s not your fault.”

“I don’t know about that. Whoever did this was waiting. They were watching me. Or you. But I shouldn’t have reached out to you. I think I did it because I couldn’t hold onto the guilt any longer. I couldn’t stand knowing you guys hated me. That you thought I was out to kill you. Just the image of Louis hanging my picture up as a dart board drove me insane.” Zayn half laughs at that last one, knowing even Louis isn’t that mad.

“It never went full on dart board. Maybe a target to throw rubbish at but that’s as far as he got.”

“Except for the ones I torched,” Louis reminds Liam as he walks back into the room. They look at each other, ignoring Zayn for a minute. Liam tries to tell Louis to lighten up with a subtle look and Louis just laughs in reply. “Right. Just passing through to the kitchen. Don’t let me break up you two love birds.”

“Knock it off Louis,” Liam shakes his head. “For fucks sake. Sit down.”

“I’ll pass, thanks.”

“No. I’m not asking you. Sit down. You two are going to talk this out if it kills you.”

“It just might.” Louis looks over at Zayn, harboring whatever ill feelings he can.

“Just sit down. Fucking hell,” Liam almost shouts. His change in tone seems to almost frighten Louis, who walks closer to them.

“All right, all right. No need to get your knickers in a twist.” Louis sits down, staring over at Liam. “There. Happy?”

“Yes,” Liam smiles. He stands up, looking to Zayn. “You two need to sit here and hash it out. I know it’ll take longer than a day. But it’s a start. You,” he turns to Louis before continuing. “Be nice. He’s risked a lot coming to us. And remember this is your mum’s home. Watch yourself.” Then Liam turns back to Zayn one more time. He leans down for a hug, patting him on the back. “I’m so glad you’re back mate.”

“Me too,” Zayn agrees. “Thanks.” Liam pulls away, nodding his head. Then he turns around and heads down the hallway. He sees Harry leaning against the door.

“You all right?”

“He’s behind here… fighting for his life… and I can’t do a damn thing about it…” Harry speaks painfully slow. “This door…” he shakes his head. “It’s holding me away from the most important person in my life right now… holding me up… holding me…”

“Hey,” Liam walks closer, pulling Harry from the door. Harry leans against him, refusing to stand on his own. He knows he needs a little help. “It’s okay,” Liam’s voice is kindhearted. Harry can feel the love behind each word. “He’s not gone yet. Don’t count him out. He’s fighting for his world.”

“Is this what it felt like for him?” Harry’s voice is barely there now. He seems to be growing weaker with every passing second, while Liam grows stronger. Almost as if he’s absorbing the strength Harry lets go of. Keeping it so they both can use it.

“Pretty much,” Liam laughs a little. “He showed a lot more anger and determination to catch who did this… but it was his cover. He wanted to hide how he felt. I think that was his training kicking back up into it all. And, I think he was terrified of realizing his feelings for you. He was petrified of losing you. Just like you are now.”

“If he… if…” Harry can’t even seem to get the words out. He bites his lip, trying to compose himself.

“Yeah, okay. Go on.”

“I don’t know if I could ever forgive Zayn.” Harry stands up on his own a little, bracing himself for a lecture. Liam doesn’t give it to him though. He just pulls Harry in closer, holding on tighter.

“He’s going to be okay. Don’t let yourself think otherwise. He needs you to believe in him right now. Can you do that?”

“Course I believe in him…”

“Then you know he’ll fight this. However long it takes, he’ll come back to you. Trust him. Believe in him. He’ll be all right. Come on, say it.” Harry thinks long and hard about this for a moment. He knows Liam is right, he should trust in Niall enough to know he’ll come back to him. He should believe it. But he’s still terrified.

“This is something out of his control.”

“Is it?” Liam looks Harry in the eye, smiling. “Niall has everything to live for. He has you. He’s promised you a future. I don’t think he’s one to pull back on something that important, do you?”

“He’d never break a promise to me,” Harry smiles as a tear runs down his cheek. Before he knows it, more follow. He knew once he started he wouldn’t be able to stop. Liam just pulls him back a little tighter after realizing his grip loosened. They both stand there, holding onto one another as much as they can. Neither one dares to speak though, the moment for that has passed. This is something deeper than words. It’s a reminder that no matter what happens in this instance or the next, they’re there for each other. Still. After everything that has gone on, their bond has only grown stronger and that is a beautiful thing.

 

“You were right,” Zayn finally breaks the silence. Louis just stares at him, waiting to hear an explanation. “I’m not innocent. I did fuck up.”

“It’s about time,” Louis almost laughs. “Even Saint Zayn fucks up huh?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“No, you were just too busy trying to convince us all you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I just wanted you to know the truth. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“Well I know it now. You went after Harry from the start. How can anyone ever trust you after that? You knew he was your friend and you were still coming into The League to kill him.”

“It’s so much more difficult than that Lou.”

“Is it? The second you knew he was the leader you should’ve told them no. You couldn’t do it.”

“Telling them no isn’t an option.”

“So you were also a spineless coward. Good to know.”

“Louis-”

“What do you want from me? I’m not going to wipe your arse like Liam and convince you that you’re perfect. I’m not about to act like nothing happened. Like you didn’t try to fucking kill us all.”

“Look, I did let them in that night. I made sure you guys were safe, on the upper levels before it happened though. I even made sure Lark’s defense system was up and working in case it got bad. But that doesn’t change the fact that I started it all. Everyone who died that night died because of me.” Zayn looks down, afraid of the way Louis sees him now. “I was never going to let you get hurt though. You lot weren’t even supposed to be there, remember? I was going to meet you for drinks.”

“So because we didn’t buy your phony ass excuse to meet up with us later we’re to blame for almost dying?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You practically spelled it out for me.”

“I just wanted you to know you weren’t supposed to be there. That’s why I set it up for then. So you’d all be safe…” Zayn takes a moment to collect his thoughts, shocked Louis hasn’t already chimed in by yelling and calling him names. Maybe this is a step in the right direction, Zayn thinks to himself. He takes one last breath before continuing. “I knew if I didn’t act sooner they would’ve acted on their own. I would’ve become a target too and I also wouldn’t be able to protect you if I didn’t know the plan. I chose your lives over everyone else’s.”

“Whenever you chose to act someone else always pays the price. You think Niall would have wanted you to go about your heroics in a different way? You could’ve cost him his life too today. But that doesn’t matter to you, does it? As long as Zayn is okay, fuck the fallout. Who gives a shit about those left picking up the pieces.”

“Of course it matters to me. Niall was someone I considered a friend too-”

“Don’t act like you fucking knew him. This doesn’t revolve around you. He was some bloke named Neil to you. Just some guy who fled a country because his family was murdered. Someone you don’t know shit about.”

“That’s not true.” Zayn doesn’t know why he feels the urge to pick a different fight with Louis, but he can’t let that go. Niall does mean something to him, even if their friendship was a farce for Niall to get close to him. It didn’t matter where Zayn was concerned because he told Niall things he couldn’t tell anyone else.

“He was undercover.”

“You know as well as I do that the perfect undercover story is one close to the truth. How often do you end up doing or saying things exactly like yourself?”

“He hated you.”

“No he didn’t.”

“He despised you. Wanted to kill you for all the shit you put Harry through. If he were in this room right now he’d probably rip you to shreds for what you said about willingly joining The League with the sole purples of taking Harry out, even after what you’d been through. Did you forget about all that? Everything you did to Harry? How many times you put him in a crap situation? You honestly think Niall would embrace you right now? You’re fucking mental.” Zayn starts to feel overwhelmed, realizing Louis is probably right. If Niall walked right into that room this minute, he’d want to destroy Zayn. The thought of Niall dying while thinking Zayn is the true enemy made Zayn extremely uncomfortable. He couldn’t bare it. He tried to look away, hiding the emotion building up. Louis must notice though because he doesn’t skip a beat. He loves to turn that knife in deeper. “I wouldn’t be shocked if he survived this just to kill you himself.”

“I get it.” Zayn’s voice sounds cold now. Something Louis has never heard to be honest. Even in their fights, the allegiance issues, somehow through all of it Zayn always sounded like himself. Until now. Louis actually feels a little bad for what he’s done, uncomfortably shifting around in his seat.

“He wouldn’t. He’s too rational for that. He’d hear you out first.”

“Don’t feed me the pity lines.”

“You think I’d pity you?” Louis mocks laughter, showing the absurdity of that comment. Zayn nods along in agreement.

“You never were one for that.” Zayn looks up for a split second, catching Louis staring back at him. They both look away as quickly as they can, pretending nothing happened. Neither one dared to speak. Zayn didn’t want to ruin the change in tone and Louis didn’t want to make things worse. Yeah, he wanted Zayn to pay for what he did but not like that. Even he wasn’t vicious enough to use Niall on his deathbed. That was wrong and he knew it.

 

“How long has it been?” Harry lifts his head off Liam’s shoulder. “Since Niall’s been shot. I’ve lost track of time to be honest. I guess I’m just wondering… how long has Johannah been in there? Shouldn’t she have come out by now? What else could she possibly be doing?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think time will help you.” Liam pats his back slowly, trying to comfort him.

“But how long? If you had to guess.”

“Harry…”

“Too long,” Harry shakes his head. “Too long,” he turns back to the door. All he wants to do is watch it swing open, but he’s also dreading it. What if the door opens and Johannah comes out full of Niall’s blood to tell him she’s lost him? He’s lost him? Harry shudders at the thought.

“Not long enough,” Liam reads Harry’s mind almost. “Saving a life takes a long time. Surgery takes a long time. Especially when you don’t have everything you need and have to replaces tools with every day household items.”

“He’s screwed.”

“Johannah is good at what she does.”

“I know.”

“Everything all right?” Louis walks up to them. Harry turns to face him, pulling away from Liam. Harry looks absolutely wrecked. Louis automatically reaches out to him, hugging him softly. After a moment Harry pulls back, smiling.

“Thank you.” His eyes move behind Louis, spotting a smaller Zayn behind him. He looks like he’s shrunk down with guilt and shame. Maybe it’s fear. Harry doesn’t really know. He doesn’t even know what he thinks of seeing him. Part of Harry wants Zayn to pull him into a hug too, remind him that they’re all going to be all right. But the other part of him wants to punch Zayn. He still blames him for this. He’ll blame him for it until Niall wakes up. Because he can. And because it’s the only thing keeping him going. If Harry can blame Zayn than he isn’t blaming himself, which is a huge step in the right direction. All of that guilt almost tore him in two.

“Have you heard anything?” Louis looks to Liam, hopeful. He’s not sure why he asked though; Harry’s appearance was all the answer he needed. He thinks he might’ve said it just to break the tension.

“No,” Liam shakes his head slowly. He looks at Zayn, wondering what he can say to him. It’s different with all four of them standing together like this. They haven’t all been in the same room for a long, long time. And that didn’t end so well.

“Do you want me to go in there?” Louis turns back to Harry. He doesn’t really want to go inside the room, but if it will help, he will.

“No,” Harry replies quickly. “No one needs to… to see that…” The second part comes out slower.

“This is weird, right?” Louis whirls his finger around in a circle, indicating each of them.

“Extremely,” Harry agrees.

“I kind of like it,” Liam smiles.

“No, its definitely weird.” Zayn answers. They all let out a quick laugh to diffuse the awkward tension. It seems like the best way for Zayn to at least try to get back on their good sides is to have a tragedy happen. They’ll either want to pick a fight or be all fought out. It seems at this stage even Louis doesn’t have the energy to keep it up. They all might be at peace, just for now. Zayn smiles, knowing this is a sign of things to come. He’s back. Before anyone has a chance to try and break the awkward silence up again, the door behind Harry slowly squeaks open. He turns around immediately, almost as if there was a string tied from the door to him. Johannah walks out, painfully slow. She seems to be breathing heavily, hair matted down to her head with sweat. Her hand is shaking slightly, as she tries to hide Niall’s bloodstains on her. There’s so much of it, Harry thinks to himself. He bites his lip, waiting for her to speak. If he thought the awkward silence before was brutal, this is just pure torture.

“Well?” Harry’s voice is full of hope. His eyes are wide, watery, and ready to explode no matter what the answer is. He knows he’s going to lose it either way.

“Well,” Johannah lets out one last breath, nodding her head. The boys all move in a little closer, collectively holding it all in. “You guys gave me an impossible task.” Her voice was defensive, letting out a little aggravation. “He should have gone to the Hospital. They would’ve been better equipped to handle his situation…”

“You’re right,” Louis nods. “I’m sorry we keep doing this to you mum. But we have no other choice. We can’t just walk right into a hospital and say ‘hey our friend has been shot by our enemies in this rival secret agency and we need you to patch him up real fast so we can kill them,’ can we?”

“So you tell me that? So that I can worry even more bout you? And not only you anymore, now I worry about your friends too. Do you know how hard it is to operate on someone you think of like a son? Especially when you’re using things that don’t work as well as what you really need?” Johannah’s eyes start to water. Louis walks around to her, hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry mum. I know we put a lot on you.” He holds her for a second, trying to figure out how to ask about Niall. “Does this mean…” He can’t even bring himself to ask the question.

“Is Niall…” Harry starts, trying to be the one to ask. “Did he…” Harry shakes his head, disappointed in himself that he can’t ask a simple question.

“Is Niall alive?” Zayn asks, the boys all turning to him. He looks as worried as the rest of them, reminding the boys that he also cares about what happens here. Harry shakes his head.

“Is he? Please,” Harry taks a step closer. “I just need to know.”


	33. It Was A Trap

“He’s…” Johannah pauses, trying to find the right words. She knows what she says here is crucial and she can’t say the wrong thing. “He needs to go to the Hospital. He’s not going to make it if we don’t get him there straight away. He needs blood; he needs proper tools to stitch him up, the right machines to monitor his heart. All I was able to do was remove the bullet pieces and temporarily stop the bleeding but it won’t hold. He’s going to die if he stays here.” Harry immediately falls back against the wall. Liam quickly reaches out to catch him with his arm. He pulls him into his side, squeezing for reassurance.

“So we’ll take him in,” Liam replies.

“How?” Louis turns to him, knowing what Harry knows. “There’s no way we can get away with that. How do we explain our friend has a gunshot wound?”

“Not to mention you guys will be sitting ducks. Someone is after you all. If you go out there, you could be at risk. They might be checking local hospitals. That’s what I would do, and you all know that’s what you would do too if you had a mark gone wrong.” Zayn tries to remind them of what’s at stake here. It isn’t just Niall’s life on the line; it could be all of theirs.

“Zayn’s right,” Liam looks down. He didn’t want to agree with that statement, but he knows it’s true. If they go out there trying to save Niall they’re offering themselves up.

“So we do nothing?” Louis screams. He looks around at the guys, trying to piece together what their choices are. “How do we sit back and sign his death certificate? I won’t do it,” he shakes his head violently. “I won’t be a part of just letting him die.” Louis looks over at Harry, who is just standing there. He looks so sick himself Louis worries he might just keel over during this conversation. “Harry…”

“I can’t just leave him,” Harry looks over to Liam. “I can’t walk away.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Liam starts to explain.

“He’s everything to me... If he has a chance…” Harry closes his eyes.

“What about the care at The League?” Zayn asks. “He’ll be safe. There will be plenty of people watching over him.” Liam smiles at him.

“He’s right. That could be an option. The only option really.” Liam agrees.

“Put him in the hands of the traitor who did this? Are you mental?” Louis screams again. “We have no idea how many people are against us in The League and you want to walk right back in there and hand Niall over to them?”

“There are enough people there that someone won’t be able to get away with sabotaging Niall. Not to mention we’ll all be there watching over him.” Liam tries to explain why it isn’t so crazy after all.

“What if I go with you?” Johannah asks. Louis turns around to look at her immediately. He forgot for a moment that she was still there.

“No. Absolutely not. No fucking way.” He shuts her down before anyone else can say anything.

“Louis, you need someone you can trust looking over him.” Johannah begins to try to explain herself.

“I won’t risk your life on this mum. It’s too dangerous,” he replies.

“If I’m there I can make sure he has the care he needs. You guys can watch all you want but if you don’t know what he needs you won’t know if he’s actually getting the proper care. If I’m there, I can let you know. I can help out.” She tries to reason with him.

“She’s right Lou,” Zayn agrees.

“She does have a point…” Liam’s voice is softs, almost as if he’s afraid to agree on this one.

“Are you fucking mental?” Louis screams. “Harry, tell me I’m not alone on this one.”

“You’re not,” Harry shakes his head. “I don’t… It’s too dangerous for you Johannah.”

“And if I don’t, it’s too dangerous for Niall.” She watches Harry’s face cringe on those words. “Look, I’m a big girl. I know what I’m agreeing to now but I don’t care.”

“Mum, it’s too risky. You’re needed here.” Louis tries to talk her out of it.

“The more we argue the less chance he has of surviving,” Liam reminds them.

“There has to be another way,” Louis starts thinking out loud.

“There isn’t,” Harry speaks up again. “I’m sorry Louis but this is Niall’s only chance. We need to bring him in and The League is the only place we can go now. But that will only work if we have someone we can trust 100% with him. Because I can’t… we can’t lose him.”

“If anything happens to me mum…” Louis shakes his head.

“It won’t,” Liam takes a step closer to him.

“Come on then boys,” Johannah smiles to Louis. “Lets move him into the car.”

“What about Zayn?” Liam asks, looking over at him. “We can’t take him into The League. He’ll be ripped apart.”

“Good. Get him off our hands.” Louis opens the door to Niall’s room, stopping as soon as his eyes land on him. Suddenly he’s lost the urge to fight about Zayn. Seeing Niall laying there, so lifeless, it knocks all the wind out of him. There’s so much blood covering him, the sheets, even the floor. Niall needs help now. Any problems Louis has with Zayn need to end here. Louis makes a promise to himself that he won’t be difficult, not while this is going on. Harry takes a step closer towards the open door, eyes widening.

“Zayn, why don’t you take Harry to the kitchen. Get him some water and sit him down while we…” Liam’s voice fades off as he nods towards Niall’s room.

“Come on Harry,” Zayn easily pulls him away. It seems Harry lost all his strength. In fact Zayn has to hold him up as they walk. “He’s in good hands now. He’s going to get what he needs.”

“Please,” Harry shakes his head. “Don’t. Don’t lie to me any more. I don’t want to hear you bullshit how you know he’ll be all right because you don’t. You’ve lied to me far too many times. Just stop.”

“Harry…”

“We don’t have to talk.” Zayn just nods in reply, looking down at the floor. He hears the front door open, knowing they’re carrying Niall out now.

“I… I can wait here. Or I can come with you. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.” Zayn looks around, avoiding eye contact.

“I don’t care what you do.”

“I know this is hard…”

“Do you? Have you ever actually loved anyone in your life?” Harry stares at him, waiting for an answer.

“Of course I have… I do. I love you guys, whether you believe it or not. I’d do anything for you lot.”

“I’m talking about a real love. Something pure. Where you wouldn’t hurt the other person. You’d die for them. Because I would die before I let anyone convince me to toy with Niall’s emotions. Make him think one thing and do another. He’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. And I don’t think I showed him that. I was too busy trying to get my revenge on you. Tracking you, assigning him a mission to follow after you. My entire life has revolved around you, instead of showing the man I love just what he means to me.” Harry looks down as the tears start to fall. “The worst part is we might never get a real chance.”

“You don’t know that though,” Zayn whispers. “No one knows what will happen. You just have to have faith.”

“Like I did about you?” Harry laughs softly. “I always had faith that you would prove me wrong. That you would come back with some explanation and everything you did would be forgivable. But you didn’t stop. You kept doing more and more and suddenly there were too many lives cost because of your actions. It became too late.”

“You believe that?”

“Ready Harry?” Liam walks into the room, realizing he interrupted something.

“Stay here Zayn. Watch after Louis’s family. They’ll need someone…”

“If anything happens,” Louis walks into the room. He doesn’t want to argue, just warn Zayn.

“I wouldn’t Lou. They’re safe with me. I promise. You know what family means to me.” Zayn tries to remind him.

“Yeah, whatever. Ready?” He looks back to Harry.

“Lets go,” Harry stands. As he takes a step forward his knees give out a little. Liam grabs onto his arm, steadying him.

“Easy,” Liam reminds him.

 

The entire drive back to the compound was in complete silence. No one could even find the right words to speak, or the energy to actually say them. They pull up to the gate of the garage. Liam enters in his code and waits. The doors don’t open though. Nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” Harry leans over Liam from the passenger seat up front. They couldn’t put him in the back with Niall. He tried to close his eyes the entire drive anyway, only opening them now.

“It’s not accepting my code… I can’t get in.” Liam turns back to Harry, confused.

“Here,” Harry leans over Liam, pressing his hand onto the scanner. After a few moments of security overrides the doors open.

“What was that all about then?” Louis asks.

“I don’t know… I think we’re on lockdown.” Harry replies. He looks around the garage, confused. It appears that all of the spots are empty.

“What’s happened since we left here?” Liam’s worried. He parks the car nearest to the medical entry.

“I think we’re at war.” Harry’s voice matches the horror on his face.

“They’ve attacked us then?” Louis swallows hard, regretting bringing his mum along.

“Are we even walking into our own headquarters?” Liam asks what everyone is thinking.

“There’s only one way to find out,” Harry answers. They look at each other, nodding.

“I’ll carry Niall,” Liam jumps out. He opens the back door, helping Johanna out first.

“Maybe you should just sit in the car,” Louis looks at her. She can see the worry in his eyes.

“I’m not leaving you,” she hugs him.

“This can be more dangerous than we anticipated. We could be walking into a trap…” Louis tries to talk her out of it but she just hugs him tighter.

“I’ll go first.” Harry takes a deep breath. For Niall, he thinks to himself as he takes his first step towards the door. He walks slowly, trying to get a feel for the situation. His training kicks in as his eyes dart all around him searching for movement. “Wait for my signal,” he whispers. Liam nods as he watches Harry open the door. Harry leans against the wall, peaking over it quickly to see what’s going on. There’s no one there. He looks both ways, walking in a little before waving the guys forward. Harry has them stop behind a wall as he goes to open another door. He kicks it open, looking around quickly. Again, there is no one. He looks back to Liam, exchanging glances of worry. Something happened while they were gone. It’s like a ghost town in here. They all continue forward, inching near the medical wing. Harry gets to the door, where he needs to enter in his information to gain access. He presses his hand against the screen, staring into the camera.

“If this is a trap…” Liam looks to Harry. “Be careful.” The light outside the door turns from red to green and the doors open.

“Harry, is that really you?” Trad walks out, confused. “Where have you been this whole time?”

“It’s a long story… What happened here?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Right… Where is everyone? Where’s the medical team?” Harry tries to get right to it. Trad looks behind him to see Niall in Liam’s arms.

“They’re underground. We were attacked. We had to move everyone. This way,” Trad leads them through the emergency route. After a few more security checkpoints the doors open to an over packed medical center.

“This is insane,” Louis looks around. People are running all over trying to keep up with all of the patients. Nurses and doctors alike scatter back and forth, screaming out to one another.

“Are there rooms available? If we can set him up I can take it from there.” Johanna tries to help out.

“There might be one,” Trad looks to Harry. “If you want to use it.”

“Yeah, yeah course I do. We’ll set him up in it right away.” Harry nods, knowing which room Trad was talking about. They head in that direction right away, not wasting any time. They enter through three different doors, each with about four or five different security measures to gain access. When they finally get inside, the room is nicer than all the others. Louis looks around, realizing where they are.

“Your room then?”

“If I ever needed it,” Harry shook his head. “Lay him on the bed. Johannah why don’t you and Louis go with Trad, he’ll get you everything you need.” Johannah nods as she and Louis follow Trad out.

“Harry,” a tall, slender man with black hair walks in. His white coat is covered in blood.

“Merlin,” Harry smiles. “It’s good to see you.”

“I thought you were hurt. As soon as I saw this room was accessed I feared the worst.” He walks over, hugging Harry.

“It’s Niall,” Harry nods over to the bed. “Needed a place for him.”

“What happened?” Merlin immediately walks over to Niall, searching for a pulse.

“He was attacked undercover. They made him. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough. Didn’t know if we’d make it back here.” Harry tries to give the shortened version, not wanting to explain too much of it.

“I’ll do my best,” Merlin turns back to him.

“We have someone else here to help too. She just went to get some supplies.”

“Good…”

“Merlin, what happened here?” Liam asked. He couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“We were blind sighted. They got right in. Dunno how. Security systems all seamed to go down at the same moment. Even our back ups and our back ups to the back ups.”

“They had help,” Harry felt his fingers clench into a fist at his side.

“It appears that way. Thankfully all the work you had Louis and Trad do on that defense system was enough. Trad was able to switch it on just in time. We got rid of them but we don’t know for how long. We sent men out for help but none of returned. I think we’re on our own.” Merlin shakes his head; reliving the nightmare he’s been in. “It was brutal. They didn’t show any mercy. So many of our friends are gone. We thought… we thought you were taken. No one could reach you.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea. I was helping Niall on his undercover… we all were.” Harry feels guilty for not being here when his men needed him. A captain is supposed to go down with his ship.

“It’s okay. You’re safe which is all that matters. Now, lets try to save Niall. I don’t want any more good men dying on my watch.” Merlin walks back over to Niall. Johanna renters the room, ready to help.

“Maybe we should wait outside,” Liam looks at Harry. He knows Harry doesn’t need to watch this.

“Come on.” Louis places a hand on Harry’s lower back, leading him through the door.

“What have I done?” Harry looks up at his friends.

“Harry, this isn’t your fault.”

“Everything has gone to shit. My people are dying. Many have died already and… and while they needed my guidance and help I was out chasing Zayn. Every god damn time something goes wrong I’m distracted by him.”

“It was a trap,” Louis clenches his teeth.

“Louis stop, he had nothing to do with this.” Liam shakes his head. He thought we were passed all of this already.

“They used him. Whether he knows it or not, he was a part of their plan.” Harry hits his head against the wall. “He’s the one who is going to cause my downfall.”

“We can’t focus on that now. We need a plan.” Liam tries to remind Harry of what truly matters in this moment. “We need to be ready for when they come back.”

“We need Lark.” Harry looks down, wishing his old friend were still alive. “He always knew what to do. He should’ve been the real leader.”

“You are a leader Harry. I would follow you into any fight. I would gladly lay down my life for you, as the rest of The League. So many have. We must not let them have died in vain.” Liam watches as Harry sits up straight.

“Okay.” He shakes his head.

“What’s the plan?” Louis asks, ready to do whatever Harry asks.

“We need Zayn.”

“What?” Louis moves back, confused by Harry’s answer.

“Everything has revolved around him. They’ve used him against us time and time again. Now we’re going to use him against them.”

“How are we going to get him in here? Surely anyone will kill him on site.” Liam asks, worried for his safety.

“You’ll bring him in the same way we got here. When you get into the garage I’ll come out and meet you. I’ll bring you in. No one will stop you. Once we get him down here we can find out everything he knows on The Knights. Any weaknesses, how they work, whatever we’re missing. We’ll get it all down, pass it around, and use it to our advantage. He’s going to be our secret weapon.”

“What if he’s still working for them?” Louis didn’t want to ask it, but he had to be sure. Someone needed to just remind them of how dangerous this could be.

“Then we’re as bad off as we are now.” Harry replies. Louis nods in agreement, knowing this is all they’ve got.

“All right. I’ll go.” Liam stands up. “If anything happens before I get back…”

“We’ll be okay. All of us,” Harry turns to face the door to Niall’s new room.

“Yeah, all of us.” Louis echoes him.

“See you soon then,” Liam smiles. He turns to walk back out the way they came in earlier.

“Do you really think we stand a chance?” Louis asks. Harry takes a long deep breath before continuing.

“I think we might. As long as we work together.”

“Together,” Louis laughs. “Good luck with that one.”


	34. They Never Knew You

“Are you all right?” Trad looks from Harry to Louis, trying to make sure they’re looked after.

“Yeah… think so.” Harry turns to Louis who just nods. “What happened here?”

“We were ambushed. No one saw it coming. There was no sign of an attack on any of our radars. It doesn’t make sense.” Trad looks down. “I should’ve done a better job. It’s my fault.”

“It’s my fault,” Harry corrects him. “My head hasn’t been here in a long time… I haven’t been here. I abandoned you all when you needed me.”

“You didn’t abandon anyone, someone tired to kill you!” Louis reminds Harry. Trad turns to face him.

“What did you say?”

“Someone poisoned Harry. That’s why he was all weird and sick a while back. After that we took him out of here. We wanted to find out who it was first before bringing him back. It’s not safe for him to be here.” Louis looks back to Harry. “That’s why you weren’t here. You didn’t leave anyone.”

“I had no idea. Is there anything I can do for you?” Trad takes a step closer.

“Find out who is responsible for all of this,” Harry throws his arms out around him. He realizes in that moment that he needs to dig deep inside himself and find his strength, the strength that led him to take over The League in the first place. There are people who are going to be looking to him for an answer and he can’t be seen falling down crying over Niall. There are too many of his people to count lying in these beds, some in worse conditions. He has to pull himself together. “We’re not going down without a fight.” His voice sounds confident, promising even. Louis can’t help but smile. He believes Harry.

“Of course,” Trad nods. “Do you have a plan?”

“You’re not going to like it,” Harry warns.

“My job is to listen to you, not to like what you say,” Trad reminds him.

“Zayn is on his way here.” Harry hesitates for a moment, wondering if he’s said too much. He thinks he maybe should’ve kept that part a secret.

“Zayn?” Trad takes a step back, gasping. “Sir, do you think that’s wise?”

“No, but it’s all we’ve got.” Harry looks at him before continuing. “Liam is bringing him in. I want you to meet them at the garage and make sure they get here quickly.” Trad nods, not saying another word. “How many are still here?”

“The lower levels are completely gone,” Trad looks down. “They didn’t stand a chance. No one knew…” Harry feels a shiver creep up his spine. The youngest of the team, the future of The League completely wiped out. He feels a little nauseous, knowing Niall could’ve been one of them. “The higher ups are still here. Those that could be at least. We emptied the garage in case they came back so they’d think we all decided to flee. Some of our members who live off site are staying here now. Either helping down here or cleaning up there. There’s a lot that needs to be repaired. We’ve been working on our systems non-stop. That’s why it took you so long to get in, and even then when we saw your code we were worried.”

“You thought they were using me.” Harry surveys the scene around him. “I need to address everyone. Let them know we’re here for them.” He stands up quickly.

“Are you sure that’s what you need right now?” Louis asks, trying to remind him of why he’s sitting where he is right now.

“You’re here for him. He’ll be fine.” Harry turns to Trad, keeping calm and in control. “I need a full report. Find out how many are injured, terminated, hiding, or here. We need a count on everything. Get Jefferson on that until you’ve brought Liam and Zayn in. Then I want you helping him. We need everyone we can figuring out the damage.”

“Absolutely,” Trad nods.

“Harry,” Louis tries once more.

“There’s nothing I can do sitting out here to help him, but I can help everyone else out there.” Harry’s voice is rough. He’s back to sounding like the empowering man he once was. Louis smiles, happy to see he’s found some sort of anchor back to reality. He nods, wishing there was more he could say. Harry just nods back in acknowledgment. “I’ll be back.”

“Good luck. If you need anything…” Louis starts.

“Thank you.” He turns around and walks out the door quickly, with Trad following behind him. Louis looks back at the door to Niall’s room. He debates walking inside there or walking out further into the medical wing to see if he can help anyone else. The thought of leaving Niall alone stops him. He shifts around in his chair, waiting. Finally he becomes too impatient, jumping up and heading to the door. It swings open, stopping him in his tracks.

“Merlin… I was just going to-” Louis begins to explain.

“It’s fine. You can see him now. He’s okay. Just resting.” Merlin smiles.

“So he’s all right?” Louis’s face lights up. “That’s it then?”

“He’s in recovery. But he’s steady now. Your mum saved his life. What she was able to do before you got here is all that keeps him alive now.”

“She’s a miracle worker,” Louis smiles proudly. “Thank you for all you did.”

“I was just doing my job Louis.”

“I know but thank you. Niall means a lot to me. He’s one of the best men I know.”

“Yes, well we couldn’t afford to lose any more of those. Not on my watch. I won’t allow it.”

“Do you have any ideas on how it happened?”

“I wish,” Merlin shakes his head. “I’ve been trying to figure it out every chance I get. It doesn’t make any sense. We were always prepared for something like this. They just knew everything about our systems, our set up. It was worse than the last time with Zayn. They knew too much.”

“And they had help last time too,” Louis bites his lip, thinking out loud.

“I don’t think he helped them as much as I did before.”

“What do you mean?”

“They just got in last time but they didn’t really know anything about our compound. This time however, they knew it all. They were able to wipe out our lower levels before we even got word out that we were under attack. We didn’t stand a chance.” Merlin shakes his head in disgust. “It was a brutal ambush. They weren’t looking to fight they were looking to annihilate us.”

“We have a rat,” Louis sighs.

“One who has no loyalties to us. At least last time Zayn had a conscience. He was connected to some people here. He cared what happened.” Louis looks away as Merlin continues, “This time though…” Merlin pauses remembering what he saw. “They don’t give a damn about us.”

“Harry sent for him. For Zayn I mean.”

“What?”

“We captured him right before we came here… Well he turned himself in to be fair. Niall’s undercover mission was getting close to him. We were going to take him out once and for all.”

“I should’ve known any undercover involving you, Harry and Liam would be about him,” Merlin laughs lightly.

“Do you think we can trust him enough to ask for his help?”

“I didn’t know him like you did.”

“But with everything you’re saying right now, you think it’s a good idea?”

“I don’t think it can hurt. We need all the help we can get.”

“Yeah, suppose we do.” Louis nods in agreement. Maybe this is how Zayn can earn his forgiveness. If he helps them gain control back of their compound and shut the Knights advances back down, he’ll prove his loyalties. They’ll never be able to doubt him again.

“We’ll figure it all out. Harry’s a good leader. He’ll know what to do.” Merlin smiles reassuringly. “I hate to run but I’ve got a ton of other patients to get back to.”

“Yeah, go. If you need anything let me know.”

“Cheers,” Merlin waves as he rushes away. Louis heads through the door to Niall’s room. Johannah is standing over him, wiping his face clean.

“That brings back some memories,” Louis laughs.

“He’s good. I have to watch him to make sure he takes to the transfusion right but other than that, he’ll be okay now. He’s where he needs to be.”

“We all are. Except for you. Mum please leave while you can.” Louis’s eyes plead with her to see his reason.

“I can’t leave you.” She takes a step closer to him.

“It isn’t safe now. It’s only going to get worse.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I was trained to deal with this. You weren’t.” He knows that no matter what he says, she won’t leave. But it doesn’t stop him from trying.

“You’re my son. I won’t leave you. Not now, not ever.”

 

Liam pauses as he and Zayn pull up to the garage. “What is it?” Zayn asks, sensing his worry.

“Last time I couldn’t get in. Harry had to do it,” Liam explains.

“Maybe he fixed it. They knew you were coming back, right?”

“Of course they did. Harry sent me for you.” Liam turns back to the keypad at the gate.

“So try it,” Zayn shrugs. It was pretty obvious to him… he didn’t understand Liam’s hesitation.

“Right…” Liam nods, leaning out the window. He punches in his code, waiting for the next step. Instantly a red light flashes, making him look down, defeated.

“Do you know Harry’s code then?”

“No, he uses his handprint. It’s more secure.” Liam sighs, looking around. Suddenly the garage opens without him doing a single thing. As soon as Liam can see inside, he sees Trad standing there. “Of course.”

“Is that…” Zayn’s words get caught in the back of his throat. Trad waves them inside and Liam obeys, following his directions on where to park.

“Harry told me to meet you out here and bring you inside.” Trad stares at Zayn intently. For a moment Zayn thinks he might be paralyzed just from the gaze.

“Zayn, you all right?” Liam asks, seeing how uncomfortable he looks.

“Sorry, who are you?” Zayn keeps his eyes on Trad. Neither one seems to want to break away.

“This is Trad,” Liam starts to introduce them. “He’s Lark’s…” Liam stops himself halfway through that thought, realizing how terrible it is to describe someone as someone’s clone. After all of the work he’s put into learning about clones, he out of anyone should know how dehumanizing that is to someone.

“It’s fine. Say it.” Trad nods. “Everyone else always does.”

“Where is everyone?” Liam changes the subject. Zayn looks at him, trying to understand what just happened. Liam ignores him, feeling guilty about it.

“They’re inside. Come on. I’ll take you.” Trad turns and enters back into the compound. They walk the similar path to the medical wing, going underground. Everyone they pass stares at Zayn, some whispering to the people around them. Zayn starts fidgeting, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the ground to avoid eye contact. Anyone who sees him will recognize him, he may have changed but not by much. Most people can’t believe their eyes though, after the attack that just happened Zayn is now walking through freely. It didn’t make sense to the onlookers.

“You all right?” Liam looks over, concerned for Zayn. He just keeps staring at the ground, not saying a word. “We’re almost out of it.”

“This was a bad idea,” Zayn practically whispers. He looks up, fearing everyone around him might start a riot.

“They’re all too weak to do a damn thing to you,” Trad points out. Zayn looks over at him, trying to figure out what his game is. “Just telling it like it is.”

“This was The Knight’s doing?” Zayn looks around in disbelief. To see such damage and harm done to people he used to know eats away at him. He feels responsible in a way.

“Why do you think they all are staring at you like you’re the devil himself?” Trad opens the final doors before the private room. “They blame you too.”

“It’s not his fault though,” Liam tries to point out.

“They’ll never believe that,” Trad shakes his head. “They need someone to blame and he’s here right now.”

“It’s okay,” Zayn looks over to Liam. “I don’t mind being their target if it helps them get it out.”

“I mind,” Liam answers. “You don’t deserve their hate.” He reaches out opening the door to Niall.

“What are you lot babbling on about?” Louis walks over towards them, still keeping an eye on Niall.

“How is he?” Liam asks, ignoring Louis’s sass.

“He’s surviving.” Louis answers, unsure of what else to say.

“Where’s Harry?” Liam looks around, wondering what could have made him leave Niall.

“Trying to find our mole. Contain the situation going on. Figuring out how many men and women we’ve lost. Looking for a way to pull us all back together before they come back to finish us off. The normal hero shit we expect of him really,” Louis looks at Zayn for a moment. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s worried about Zayn coming back here now. He knows everyone out there wants him dead. Zayn catches his gaze, feeling something from Louis that he hasn’t felt in a while. Compassion.

“How can I help?” Zayn asks, wanting Louis to know he’ll do whatever they need.

“Stay here, with Niall. It’ll keep you out of view of everyone else and you’ll be safe here. Only a few people know the code to get in,” Louis replies quickly.

“If I’m needed somewhere else, I don’t mind.”

“No,” Louis shakes his head. “They’ll be brutal.”

“I don’t care what any of them think of me,” Zayn looks down as he finishes his sentence, “only you guys.”

“I can take him up to Harry,” Trad chimes in. “He’s going to be needed most in one of the prep rooms. He’ll have access to all our systems so if he can hack into any of the Knights set-ups from here we’ll gain a little there. Plus he can divulge whatever he knows to Harry and our defense team so they can try and piece together a plan of our own from it.” Louis stares at Trad, wondering if he’s right. He is right, Louis realizes after a moment. He knows there’s no arguing with the logic of it but he can’t stand the thought of Zayn being led through the compound by someone who didn’t really know him. It would just bring more criticism and comments thrown his way. Louis even knew there was a chance of some hot head attacking Zayn.

“No, I’ll take him. I should go help Harry anyway,” Louis nods. He looks at Liam for a second, debating what to say next.

“I’ll come too,” Liam says.

“But Niall...” Louis’s voice softens. “I promised Harry I would stay with him.”

“Harry needs all of us now. He’ll understand if we have to leave Niall’s side,” Liam takes a step closer. “Besides, your mum is in here. She’ll take good care of him.”

“You’re right.” Louis nods.

“So we’re all going up then?” Trad looks from Liam, to Louis, to Zayn. “There’s no way I’m standing down here when my job is to do whatever Harry asks of me, so come on.” He turns around and leads the way to the lift. Louis and Zayn exchange a look to make fun of Trad, laughing at the other’s reciprocation. Liam smiles at the interaction and follows Trad out.

“They all really don’t bother me you know,” Zayn says as he and Louis start to walk away. “The looks from everyone out there I mean. It’s something I expected. They hate me.”

“They never knew you,” Louis replies. “They see the worst and nothing else. To them there’s no redemption to second guess what they know.”

“But you do?” Zayn sounds so hopeful. There’s actually a light in his eyes for the first time since he came back to the boys. Louis looks straight ahead, unsure of how to proceed.

“This is crap right now Zayn. Everything has fallen to shit. So in what may be my last hours on this earth I’m not going to try and rip you apart. You did what you did. Shit happened. It’s over with.”

“It’s not going to be your last hours Lou.”

“I’m a realist. The chances of us surviving another attack in the state that we’re in?” Louis laughs a little insanely.

“As long as I’m alive I won’t let them hurt you… any of you.” They both keep walking without missing a step; letting those words linger in the air. Louis isn’t quite sure how to follow that up. He knows he should say something, but he’s hesitant of it making him look weak. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“I won’t let them hurt you either.”

“I know,” Zayn smirks. Louis looks over at him, rolling his eyes.

“Fuck off, you know. You don’t know shit. I didn’t even know you egotistical son of a bitch.” Louis pushes Zayn lightly, causing him to break into laughter. Liam turns around, looking at his friends finally getting along. His eyes widen, a grin taking over his face. “For fucks sake, here we go,” Louis says seeing Liam.

“What?” Liam shrugs, steal beaming.

“Not a word,” Louis replies.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“He’s gloating. You see this?” Louis turns to Zayn, jerking his thumb in Liam’s direction. “Bet he thinks he’s got something to do with this.”

“He’s clearly forgotten what us getting on means for him,” Zayn smirks. Louis shares a sinister grin back, almost as if they’re able to read each other’s minds for a brief moment. Without hesitating the two take off, charging at Liam and tackling him to the ground. Trad turns around, watching them all laughing on the floor. He rolls his eyes, unamused by their childish behavior. He walks into the lift, not even bothering to attempt to hold the door open for the others. Louis and Zayn both look up to see the doors closing.

“Fucking twat,” Louis calls out to the empty hallway. He stands up, letting Liam breath a little easier.

“He doesn’t like me,” Zayn states.

“What was your first clue?” Louis sarcastically asks.

“Just a hunch,” Zayn winks. Louis laughs, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t like anyone to be honest.”

“Except Harry,” Liam adds.


	35. We've All Sworn To Die For You

“Maybe Harry,” Louis shrugs. “Dunno though. He’s just a cunt really. Doesn’t interact with anyone unless he has to. Lots of awkward forced small talk.”

“Louis worked with him on an ongoing mission,” Liam explains as him and Zayn both stand up.

“Prick talked down to me the entire time. Spoke to me like I was a bloody idiot. At least I’m not a clone. My looks, thoughts and feelings have always been 100% original. I know who the fuck I am.”

“Did you say clone?” Zayn’s eyes widen, piecing it all together. “Where’s he heading?”

“To Harry I guess,” Louis shrugs. “Why?”

“Is Harry alone?”

“Dunno. Might be… what’s going on?” Louis looks over to Liam who seems just as confused.

“We need to get to Harry. Now.” Zayn starts to sprint the final distance to the lift. Liam and Louis just chase after him.

“What’s going on?” Louis repeats.

“Harry’s in trouble.” The lift doors open, allowing the guys to pile right in as quick as they can. Liam tries to enter in his code to get them to the top floor. The doors close as a red light flashes.

“Access denied,” a voice says from above.

“Come on, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Liam yells at it. He tires again, not willing to accept this.

“Access denied,” the voice repeats.

“Let me try,” Louis moves closer. He reaches out and enters in his code, allowing his hand to rest on the scanner.

“Access denied,” the voice says again.

“We’re blocked out…” Liam and Louis look at one another.

“So we’ll just get out and find another way,” Zayn points out. Liam reaches over to hit the doors open button, but nothing happens.

“Guys…” Liam has a hint of panic in his voice.

“Don’t say it,” Louis slams his head back against the wall. “What the hell do we do now?”

“We need to get out of here as fast as we can,” Zayn looks around for another way out.

“And how do you suppose we do that?” Louis stares at him. He doesn’t mean to be rude, but he really doesn’t see another way out. They’re trapped in the lift.

“Any way we can. Harry’s life depends on it,” Zayn starts to knock on the doors, seeing how thick they really are.

“What do you mean by that?” Louis asks. “Why is he in trouble? What do you know that we don’t?”

“Trad’s the mole,” Zayn looks at him. He’s terrified of his own accusation, knowing that would mean an unsuspecting Harry is about to be defenseless and face to face with the man who has singlehandedly started to take down The League. He wouldn’t think twice about going for Harry right now. If anything, that would be the perfect way to end this.

“What?” Louis turns to Liam who has a look of disbelief on his face.

“That can’t be,” Liam shakes his head slowly.

“I wouldn’t have put it together if you didn’t mention him being a clone…” Zayn starts to explain.

“Yeah, of Lark. The most loyal human being around. How can his clone end up a traitorous bastard?” Liam can’t wrap his head around it. Not only is Trad a piece of Lark, he’s also someone Liam has worked closely with for a year. He’s seen him, listened to him, learned about him. Hell he actually studied him. Trad was Harry’s left hand man. How could they all be so wrong about him?

“Don’t you see?” Zayn asks, looking to Louis. “It was the perfect cover! No one would suspect Lark, so why would you go after his clone? But the truth is clones are nothing like their creator.”

“I know they have their own minds, I studied clones for months, but this…” Liam shakes his head. “It doesn’t add up. We’ve done nothing but accept Trad into the organization and he repays us by attacking?”

“The Knights have an entire building dedicated to clones. They’ve learned everything there is and then some. They were studying how to use them to our advantage in a situation like this. There’s a field of psychologists to get inside their heads. They probably sent one after Trad to turn him. It’s simple really. He hates Lark, hates everything about him. He’s been created because of him, forced to live up to that impossible reputation. Any way he can get back at him, prove he’s his own human being and not just another version of Lark, he will. Going after The League was the best way to do all of that.”

“Holy fuck,” Louis’s eyes widen, remember something from when he worked with Trad on the defense system.

“What?” Liam asks.

“It wasn’t Zayn or Lark… that son of a bitch.” Louis clenches his fists.

“What wasn’t me?” Zayn sees how frustrated Louis is and takes a small step forward.

“You never hacked the security system. Lark didn’t open it up for you.” Louis starts to piece everything together now. “You were really innocent that night. You thought once you let The Knights in they’d all be wiped out instantly, didn’t you?”

“That was the way our security was designed…” Zayn’s still confused with what Louis is getting at. “What did you think I hacked?”

“Trad convinced me it was you… it wasn’t hard to at that point I guess, my rage was enough to drive me mad. It blinded me…” Louis’s voice trails of for a moment. “If you didn’t do that, what else didn’t you do?”

“As much as I love this Zayn’s innocent revelation,” Liam smiles, “we really need to get out of here fast. If everything you both are saying is true, Harry’s in serious danger right now. It’s an unfair advantage Trad has over him. Harry isn’t even in his right mind. He doesn’t stand a chance on his own.”

“Liam’s right,” Zayn agrees. “We can have this conversation later.”

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispers. Zayn nods, patting him on the back. “Right… Now how the fuck do we get out of here?” Louis looks around, trying to think of another way out. There’s no way he’s going to let Trad lay a finger on Harry. None of them are.

“There’s only one way. We need to open the doors,” Liam walks closer to them. He places his hands on each door.

“I know you think you’re really the hulk but you’re going to kill yourself trying,” Louis warns him.

“Not if you both help,” he says waiting for Zayn and Louis to follow his lead. Zayn instantly jumps over, placing his hands under Liam’s. Louis walks over, putting his hands under Zayn’s.

“All right then. Lets go,” Louis says as all three of them try to pry the doors open.

 

“We’re fucked, sir,” Jefferson says. Harry looks at him for a moment, trying to remember why he wanted him on the case. It was his sheer honesty and lack of a filter, Harry decides. He nods his head, trying to think of the proper response. Jefferson stares at Harry, waiting patiently. Harry notices for the first time that his eyes are actually blue, kind of like Niall’s. Not as pure as Niall’s though, there’s some specks of brown around the edges in Jefferson’s eyes. “I know we’re not going to give up but we’re definitely the underdogs.”

“Sometimes that’s an advantage,” Harry nods again. “You know what’s funny Jefferson?”

“What sir?”

“This is the first time I’ve ever actually looked at you.”

“Sir?”

“We’ve had countless meetings. I would say you’re one of my top five advisors. I rely on you more than I should, and ask too much of you. But I never really looked at you. You seem a bit worn down. Stressed even. Have I worked you too hard?” Harry says it so innocently that Jefferson just breaks out into laugher.

“No disrespect meant, but of course you’ve worked me too hard. That’s part of the job. I’d be pissed if you hadn’t.” Jefferson flashes a smile that forces Harry to smile back. Jefferson has one of those Hollywood grins. Teeth whiter than you’d think naturally possible. But the smile just seems normal on his face. Like something he could hold for hours without a problem.

“I’m sorry for not taking notice of you more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I stopped looking at everyone as individuals… tried to lump you all together as one so I didn’t need to really get close to anyone.”

“It’s understandable sir. After all you went through, it was the best way to properly gain control.”

“You don’t have to keep calling me sir, Jefferson. If these are going to be some of our last moments working together, please, call me Harry.”

“I can’t do that, sir.” Harry tilts his head to the side, trying to figure out why Jefferson refuses to call him by his name. “You’re our leader. I respect you. I’d die for you. There’s nothing in this world that will stop me from doing whatever you command of me bur until my dying moment, I will address you with respect. You’ve earned it. It doesn’t mean I feel like I can’t talk to you, it means I know how important you are, sir. And I won’t let anyone forget it. No matter what happens, you’ve done your best.”

“Have I?” Harry laughs a little, wishing he saw himself the way Jefferson does.

“Are you kidding me sir? You’re the only reason we’re all still alive. If it wasn’t for you we all would’ve died the last time.”

“If it wasn’t for me, that attack never would’ve happened.”

“Is this a pity party, sir?”

“What?”

“Are we spending this time trying to blame you or by being honest? Because if we’re being honest, you can’t be held responsible for the actions of someone else. All you can do is train us and hope we’re listening. You can’t control our thoughts or actions. You don’t just pick us to become members of The League; we fight like hell to prove that we deserve it. It’s on us. Just like what happened was on the individuals who acted out. Not you. Even the best leaders in history have been surrounded by the failure of their followers. It’s how they recuperate that defines them, and you sir, you rebuilt us. You took the ashes of how we used to operate and you made us stronger. You taught us that there is no going back, only forward. You reminded us we were knocked down but we sure as hell weren’t dead and that we were not going out without a fight. I think you might need a little reminding of how great of a leader you really are. You’ll be remembered in history. Years from now when members of The League are walking the halls your portrait will be there, reminding them of how to act, to be respectful and strong. You taught me to always believe in myself, because even in the worst of times there are brothers to lean on for support. Well it’s your time to do some leaning, sir. Because we’re all here to pick you up.” Harry just stares at Jefferson in awe. It’s in this moment that he realizes how important Jefferson really is.

“You’ll make a great leader,” Harry smiles proudly.

“I have no intentions of taking your place,” Jefferson answers.

“You’re the only one I’d want to take my place.”

“Sir, you’re going to survive this.”

“Let’s put you in the system.”

“No,” Jefferson answers loudly. “We’re not doing that. You will walk out of this alive.”

“Everyone needs to prepare themselves for all different outcomes,” Harry reminds him. “As a leader, I know if I don’t make sure The League has someone to turn to, it could fall into the wrong hands. I know without a doubt that you’re not the mole. I trust you with my life. There’s no one better suited to step up to the plate if they’re called on.”

“I won’t do it. As long as there is air in your lungs, I follow you sir. I don’t mean to disregard your orders right now but I won’t plan for your downfall.”

“If something does happen-”

“That’s just not an option. Anyone here would lay down his or her life for you. Unless The League completely ceases to exist at the end of today, you’ll be here to lead us.”

“I’m not asking anyone to do that. Your lives are just as important as mine, if not more so. I took a vow to protect you all.”

“You may have taken a vow to protect us but we’ve all sworn to die for you.” Harry sits there, letting those words soak in for a moment. He realizes no matter what he says Jefferson won’t budge. The only solution is to make sure they both come out alive.

“What’s the report?” Trad walks into the room, looking around to see who is there.

“Officially or unofficially?” Harry looks over. “Officially, we’re outnumbered two to one.”

“What are we going to do?” Trad looks at Jefferson.

“We’re going to fight to the end. I have Jefferson working on something to help us out last minute. Where are Liam and Zayn?” Harry asks, knowing he told Trad to bring them in.

“They were right behind me,” he shrugs. “I’m not sure how they’re not up here yet. They were fooling around though. Louis was with them. Guess they’re all back to their old ways.”

“Really?” Harry smiles. There’s something about the way he said it that makes Jefferson smile too. “Right then, we need to continue moving forward. I was going to have Louis working on this but since you’re here Trad, I’ll put you on it instead. We need to try to tweak the security system you two were working on. See if there’s a way to strengthen it. I remember Lark talking about needing more power, but there was a way to add a perimeter onto it. We need that.”

“I’m on it,” Trad walks over towards the computers behind Harry. Jefferson watches him closely.

“What happened to your hand mate?” Jefferson nods over to a nasty burn covering Trad’s right hand. He looks down, trying to see what it was.

“Oh… I don’t know. Must’ve happened during all the chaos. Can’t even feel a thing,” Trad shrugs. Jefferson nods, standing up. He takes a few steps closer towards him, trying to act as casual as possible.

“Sir, where did you want me to head to next?” Jefferson walks right up next to Harry, eyes still on Trad. Trad looks down at the computer as Jefferson pulls Harry towards him, stepping between the two. Trad immediately jumps up, staring at Jefferson.

“What’s going on?” Harry asks, confused.

“Stay behind me sir,” Jefferson replies. “I’ve found our mole. Step away from the computers slowly Trad.”

“Have you gone mad?” Trad looks to Harry for some backup.

“Why don’t you explain how you really got those burn marks Trad? I saw the damage done to the defense systems, the security, the alarms… you can’t lie your way out of this one.” Jefferson’s left hand reaches behind his back, pulling out a dagger. Trad stares at him, deciding his next move.

“Trad?” Harry looks at him, waiting for an explanation. “This can’t be true.”

“Do you really think I’d do that to you?” Trad asks. “After all we’ve been through, do you honestly believe I’d be the traitor? Maybe it’s Jefferson, trying to cover his tracks.”

“I’m giving you one more chance to stand up and move away from those computers slowly,” Jefferson says. He takes a small step closer to Trad.

“You always were blinded by your admiration for this place,” Trad shakes his head, realizing there’s no way out.

“No,” Harry takes a step back. “It’s you?”

“Of course it’s me,” Trad pulls a gun out from the holder hiding under his shirt.

“I trusted you,” Harry replies in disbelief. “With everything.”

“Pretty dumb wasn’t it? The second I came into existence you blindly handed The League over to me, all because I was a clone of saint Lark.” Trad laughs, aiming the gun over towards Harry. “Did it ever occur to you that I wasn’t actually him? That maybe I despised the son of a bitch?”

“I gave you everything.” Harry feels an ache in his stomach growing. He isn’t sure if he’s going to be sick or go into a fit of rage.

“You forced me into this world for your own greedy needs,” Trad yells back at him. While Trad is distracted by his conversation with Harry, Jefferson tries to sneak a little closer to him. Trad realizes just in time, aiming the gun onto him now. “Drop it. Now.” Jefferson drops his dagger, raising his hands up. “You always were an annoying know it all. Trying to suck up to Harry any chance you got.”

“At least I know where my loyalties lie,” Jefferson responds.

“A lot of good that did you,” Trad turns back to Harry, gun pointing to him. “I need you to tell everyone the threat has passed. Our security systems are back up and running and there is nothing to fear.”

“Like hell,” Harry replies. “I’d rather you shoot me here and now than put my people in danger. You should know me better than that.”

“Oh but I do,” Trad smiles, pointing the gun onto Jefferson. “It’s not you I plan to shoot, and it’s not a shot to kill.” He fires the gun, shooting Jefferson in the arm. Jefferson just clenches his teeth, using everything in him not to react. He stares at Trad, holding power over him knowing he isn’t giving him the satisfaction he’s looking for.

“You all right?” Harry asks, trying to mask the horror he’s feeling.

“Never better,” Jefferson replies. “Don’t give in sir. I can do this all day.”

“It will be your last,” Trad reminds Harry what the endgame is if he doesn’t cooperate.

 

“Shit, how many more flights do we have?” Louis whines as he runs up the stairs.

“Only two more to go,” Liam answers. “Maybe three.”

“Did you have to say that last part?” Louis screams.

“Easy now, almost there” Zayn reminds him.

“I’m going to kill that little shit.” Louis shakes his head, breathing heavily.

“Me first,” Zayn says. “If anyone deserves a piece of him, it’s me.”

“Fine, you get first blow but I get the last,” Louis grins.

“I think I see the door,” Liam happily calls out.

“Finally!” Louis slows down, unable to keep going full pace. As he walks the last few steps he stares at Liam. “How are you not dying like the rest of us?”

“Dunno,” he shrugs.

“You just ran up a billion flights of stairs and you’re not even sweating.” Louis complains. Zayn just laughs. “It’s not right. Go ahead hulk. Kick it down.” Louis nods towards the door. Liam just grins, turning towards it. He kicks it in, watching it swing open.

“Now, where is Harry up here?” Zayn looks around. There are way too many different ways to go.

“We have to split up,” Liam points out. “It’s the only way.”

“Lets plan to meet back here then, yeah?” Louis looks at Zayn. “I meant it, half hour tops we’re all back here.”

“Yeah,” Zayn nods.

“Absolutely,” Liam agrees.

“Right then… Good luck lads,” Louis looks from Zayn to Liam.

“You too,” Liam smiles.

“Cheers,” Zayn calls out as they turn their separate ways. Zayn starts trying to figure out where he’s actually going. He doesn’t recognize the layout of this floor at all anymore. He stops, looking around slowly. After a deep breath in, he tries to get inside Harry’s head. Where would Harry choose to go, Zayn thinks to himself. Whatever room is secluded, Zayn laughs. He realizes how insane he probably would look if anyone was around to see it. “Whatever,” he whispers as he starts running towards the corners. The closer he gets, the eerier it feels. Zayn looks around over his shoulder every five minutes, terrified of who he might run into. Anyone at this point would go straight for the kill shot on him. Especially since it looks like he’s just sneaking around up here like last time. Zayn starts to slow down his pace; picking up on noises close by. He hears a gunshot, freezing dead in his tracks. “Harry,” he calls out. Zayn starts to run as fast as he can in the direction of the noise. He hears another shot go off, forcing him to run faster. Each step he takes reminds him of all of his regrets. As a third shot goes off he starts to fear that he’ll never have a chance to make it up to Harry. That all he’s done will end in vain. He’ll never stop blaming himself. Zayn kicks the door open, freezing as soon as he sees inside. “Harry,” he yells.


	36. How Is This Possible

Zayn’s eyes zone in on Harry, who happens to be locked in a fistfight with Trad. They’re both struggling, a gun lying on the floor in the distance. Zayn looks around to see who else is in there. He sees someone on the floor to the right, covered in blood. He shakes it off, looking back at Harry. He has blood all over him too, forcing Zayn to act quickly, running over to the gun. He picks it up, pointing it towards Trad. He doesn’t have a shot though. It’s too risky. He might end up hitting Harry. “Harry, back off” Zayn calls, trying to let him know he’s got it. Harry ignores him, punching at Trad with every ounce of strength he has. Trad gets Harry square on the jaw, forcing him backwards with the hit. Here’s Zayn’s chance. “Don’t even think about moving,” He calls to Trad. Trad looks up at him, laughing.

“I should’ve known you were still playing double agent. You’re weak.” Trad spits at him. “Pathetic.”

“Harry, you all right?” Zayn calls, not taking his eyes off Trad. Harry doesn’t reply. Zayn looks over at him quickly, seeing a limp body. “Harry?”

“So what’ll it be then?” Trad slowly stands up. “The Knights, or The League?”

“It was never a choice for me, I always knew who I’d die for.” Zayn looks back to Trad.

“Ironic you say that now. It wasn’t always that way. Come on, it’s just us traitors listening now. Be honest. You wanted to kill them once.”

“You can try to get inside my head all you want, but I know where I stand.” Zayn looks over at Harry again. Harry moans softly, his head falling to the side. Zayn’s shoulders release the tension he was holding onto; knowing Harry is at least alive.

“Is that why you took on the mission to kill Harry? Because you knew where you stood?” Zayn’s eyes dart back to Trad, wanting to destroy him just for bringing that back up.

“What I did and why is none of your business,” Zayn yells back. He wished Louis and Liam were here. They’d calm him down a bit. Instead he just feels rage towards Trad, for everything he’s done. “I know you tried to get them to hate me. Why?”

“You were an easy target. If they were gunning after you I wouldn’t have to worry about your true intentions.”

“You never cared about The League.”

“Not even for a second.”

“Who recruited you?” Trad laughs. Zayn watches as he steps closer to him.

“You’re going to die with them you know.”

“I’d rather die with The League than live with The Knights.” Harry sits up slowly, almost as if Zayn’s words pulled him back.

“Pity. You did have some skills that are impossible to teach.”

“Enough already,” a voice says out of nowhere. Zayn looks around, afraid of what’s to come. “Put the gun down.” A door suddenly appears behind Trad, as a figure starts moving closer. As he steps into the light, Zayn instantly looks over at Harry. “Put the gun down,” the guy repeats.

“No… It can’t be…” Harry’s words are so soft Zayn isn’t even sure he heard them. He keeps looking at Harry, wishing he could send his strength over to him.

“I won’t tell you again,” the guy reminds Zayn. He has his own gun pointing straight at Zayn’s heart. Zayn turns back to him, confused by what’s going on.

“How is this possible?” Zayn slowly lowers his weapon down, not believing what his eyes are showing him.

“You’re dead,” Harry screams, trying to compensate for last time. The look on his face is enough to indicate that he used up all of his strength to get the words out though.

“Not last time I checked.”

“I watched Niall kill you,” Harry’s back to a whisper. His lips start to tremble.

“It appeared that way,” Lark smiles.

“You promised me you changed,” Zayn shakes his head. Harry looks at him, demanding answers. Zayn just ignores him. “You said you wanted out. That you’d become a potential to end your life and never let them know what really happened.”

“What really happened?” Harry raises his voice again. He’s going to get answers, even if it kills him. Because it actually might.

“Lark was a member of The Knights from the start. He was my mentor. Who better to teach a double agent than another one?”

“No,” Harry shakes his head. He couldn’t believe this. He clenches his jaw, wishing he’d pass out from the pain. “That’s not possible.”

“Surprise,” Lark smiles. Trad rolls his eyes.

“Can we move on? Just shoot them already and let’s go.”

“I thought you hated him,” Zayn looks at them confused.

“I did,” Trad shrugs. “Still do. But he knows what he’s doing.”

“You really are his clone. Can’t even have a mind of your own, can you?” Zayn shakes his head. “Louis was right about you.”

“Ahh Louis. You two are friends again? He was so easy to convince you were the one doing all this shit you know. I didn’t even have to say your name. He did all the hard work for me really.” Trad smiles.

“You’re not going to get away with this. He’ll stop you. Him and Liam will figure it all out.”

“Not if they’re distracted,” Trad says, thinking of his plan. “All it’ll take is one wrong med into Niall’s IV and they’ll go running to his side.”

“If you touch Niall…” Harry tries to continue that threat but he can’t. His words just linger in the air. Trad laughs.

“How pathetic.”

“Niall,” Harry repeats his name, staring at Lark. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. “How could you hurt him?”

“I never wanted to. I wanted to recruit him for The Knights. That was my plan all along but you had to ruin that.”

“He never would’ve turned on us,” Harry finds his strength again. “I swear if you step anywhere near his room, I’ll make sure you actually die this time.”

“After all we’ve been through?” Lark tilts his head, trying to sound as innocent as he can.

“I will end you,” Harry’s eyes grow black. He’s not about to sit here and let someone threaten Niall. As long as Harry’s heart beats, he’s going to find a way to protect Niall. Whatever it takes.

“Easy tiger, don’t want to wear yourself out with idle threats.”

“There’s nothing idle about them.” Harry forces himself to stand, using every bit of will he has to make it appear as if this takes nothing out of him. Like he’s working on 100%.

“Impressive. All it takes is the mention of Niall to pull yourself together, huh?” Lark turns to Trad. “Why didn’t you tell me they were so close?”

“I told you they worked closely on his missions…”

“But working closely and being close are two different things. Now we know his weakness,” Lark smiles sinisterly. Harry has never seen this side of him before. He feels as if he’s looking at another clone. None of it makes sense to him. If Lark wanted to take down The League why didn’t he just become the leader when he had the chance, Harry thought to himself. He was a blood league member.

 

“Harry? Liam? Zayn? Anybody?” Louis huffs as he keeps wondering around alone. He’s growing angry with each passing second. He has no idea what’s going on, where his friends are and who is behind all this. He takes a few more steps before finding himself outside of one of the security rooms. He looks around, making sure no one is there to bust him before he pushes his way inside. It looks like someone else was here recently. All of the screens seem to be showing one common room. “Harry! Zayn!” Louis runs closer to the screen, trying to figure out what he’s looking at. “Is that… bloody hell. What the fuck is going on?” Louis tries to see if there’s something in here to help him find them. Maybe a clue of some sort. To be honest though this entire floor seems like a maze. Even if he was able to determine what room they’re in, finding it would be another issue entirely. Louis slams his head down on the keyboard, screaming out in frustration.

“Louis? That you?” Liam walks in through a door Louis didn’t even know was there. He stares at him, confused.

“How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Come in through there… That’s not even a door.”

“This floor is full of em. You just need to know what to look for… Is that?” Liam runs closer to the screens, seeing what Louis saw. “Lark?”

“Niall will be heartbroken,” Louis shakes his head. “Son of a bitch put that kid through hell and for what? His own pleasure? Sick bastard.”

“Wait… I know where they are!” Liam’s face lights up as he looks closely at the walls.

“You know how to get there?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there before. It’s actually through this way.” Liam starts to walk towards the wall, hinting at another hidden door. “Wait…” He stops, turning back to Louis. “What am I doing? We can’t just run in there without a plan. They’ll just shoot us too. We need something to stop them.”

“Liam,” Louis starts to laugh. He offers his usual mischievous grin as he starts to continue. “Who says anything about us just walking in there?” He pulls his shirt up, revealing a waist carrier, equipped with a gun. Next he bends down, lifting his pants legs to show another on the right ankle and a knife on the left. “What’ll it be?”

“You snuck into the armory, didn’t you?”

“Damn right I did. I also have the pen taser, the keychain grenade, the shoes that shoot out a knife when you kick,” he lifts his foot to demonstrate. “And I have the ring gun in case I somehow lose all obvious weapons.” He points to his index finger, making sure Liam sees it. “I’m locked and loaded. Now lets go save our friends.” Liam smiles hearing Louis say friends. Plural. “What?”

“You called Zayn your friend,” he bashfully smiles.

“Now is not the time Liam. Let’s go.” Louis waves back into the direction Liam was walking before. He obeys, turning around and looking for the secret pressure point to open the door. It slides open, leading Louis and Liam down a long hallway. “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

“I promise, I’ve been in there fourteen times at least. It’s where we used to meet to brief people on what we’ve learned.”

“I’m going to beat those beady eyes off his shady ass.”

“Trad?”

“Course Trad, who else?”

“Lark…” Liam pauses, almost afraid of saying his name. Louis shakes his head violently.

“I’ll leave him for Harry. Fucking piece of shit that one. After all they’d been through growing up here… I mean with how young they were both introduced to this fucked up world…And everything they both lost to it. No. Harry gets to kill that insufferable cunt.”

“Can’t believe it’s him. I feel a bit sick bout that one.”

“Of all the people I never would’ve...” Louis stops mid sentence. He catches himself, realizing he’s saying things similar to what he originally said when it was Zayn on the other side. “Do you think it’s an act?”

“I don’t know what to think… here. It’s that room.” Liam points ahead to the door closed tight. They run up to it, trying the handle. It won’t budge.

“How the fuck is it locked?” Louis slams against it, trying to open it.

“On three, we both kick it in.”

“All right.”

“One… Two… Three!” Liam and Louis both kick as hard as they can, watching the door break in. A gust of smoke attacks their lungs as they both start to gasp for air.

“What is this?” Louis wheezes, trying to wave the smoke away.

“Don’t breathe in. Whatever you do, don’t breathe it in.” Liam covers his mouth, waiting a few seconds before enough smoke leaves so he can see inside. Zayn and Harry are both lying on the floor. “Zayn? Harry?” Liam starts to take a step forward before seeing Jefferson in the corner. He stops to see if there’s a pulse, realizing he looks worse off than the others. He can’t find one though. Liam bows his head, saying a quick prayer before standing up. “We lost a good man.”

“Zayn,” Louis says not hearing Liam. He runs over towards Zayn. “Please, be alive.” Louis kneels down to search for a sign that he’s breathing. “Thank god,” he sighs. Liam is now making his way over to Harry. He can finally start to see the blood stains as the smoke clears entirely.

“Louis…”

“Yeah?” Louis turns around to see Liam’s face. He follows his gaze, looking to Harry. “Harry,” he screams, jumping up. Liam falls to the floor, lifting Harry’s head.

“Come on Harry,” he yells. “You’re in there somewhere. You need to be.” Louis comes over, pressing his fingers against Harry’s neck.

“It’s weak…” He looks up concerned. “He’s not just gassed like Zayn.”

“We need to get him help.”

“How? We literally can’t trust anyone.”

“Niall,” Harry whispers. Louis and Liam look at each other, not understanding.

“Harry? What is it?” Liam lowers his ear towards Harry.

“Save Niall,” he coughs out. His eyes are still closed, body limp, but somehow he’s awake enough to worry about Niall. The sentiment alone makes Liam start to tear up as Louis sits there in awe.

“Even now he’s worrying about Niall instead,” Louis shakes his head. “That’s love if I’ve ever seen it. He’s basically knocking on death’s door but he wants us to save Niall first.”

“We have to split up,” Liam looks over at him. “One of us needs to go to Niall while the other gets help here.”

“We need more people is what we need. How the hell can we save them, save Niall and save the god damn League?”

“We can’t.” Liam stares at Louis, waiting to see if he’s following him. “We need to choose.”

“Fuck off with that crap. If I’m choosing I’m choosing them.”

“Louis…” Liam tries to think of the right words to say. Of course he wants to save his friends, more than anything, but right now there’s a greater risk at stake.

“No. Don’t even fucking think it. I’ll grab the lads and run out of here if I have to. Fuck the League. Let it crumble.”

“Go save Niall, I’ll get help for them.” Liam knows it’s going to be on him. The only way to save everyone is to end this once and for all and Louis is in no mindset to do that.

“Meet at the garage in thirty?”

“We’ll be there,” Liam nods. Louis stands up slowly, looking back to Zayn.

“Make sure they’re all right Liam.”

“I will.”

“You too…”

“You too Louis.” Liam smiles. Louis turns around and runs back out the way he came. He looks around, trying to navigate his way back towards the exit. The good news is there’s no security clearance for going down the lift, so I don’t need to have a heart attack on those stairs again, he thinks to himself with a laugh. He runs, looking around for anyone. Maybe if he can find someone to help, they’ll be better off. Someone he can warn about Lark and Trad. Who would even believe me? He asks himself, realizing how absurd he’ll sound. Not only that but who can I trust to help, Louis wonders. He knows they’re screwed. This isn’t just a troubled mission, this is the end all be all. And they’re fucked. Louis gets into the lift, punching the wall to try to eliminate some frustrations. He hits the ground level, waiting as he slowly moves down floors.

“Come on,” he screams out. He hits his head back against the wall, waiting for his destination. Finally the doors open as he runs out, heading straight for the underground hospital wing. He runs through there as fast as he can, moving at speeds he didn’t even know he was capable of. “Merlin!” he calls out, approaching a familiar face. “How’s Niall?”

“He’s still fine,” Merlin replies confused. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“He’s in danger. We all are.” Louis looks around quickly, checking if he sees them. “It’s Trad. Trad and Lark. They’re after Niall.”

“Lark? Lark’s dead. I signed off on it myself.” Louis takes a step back, fearing that Merlin too is working for the other side. “Louis…”

“I gotta get to Niall,” Louis turns away, running even faster than before. Merlin doesn’t let it go though, taking off behind him.

“Louis,” he calls out to no reply. He follows all the way to the restricted area before Niall’s room where Louis stops, realizing he can’t get in. Merlin walks next to him, waiting for an explanation. “What’s going on?” Louis just stares at him, not wanting to have to beg for help. He’s still not even sure if he can trust Merlin. “What is it?”

“Can you just let me in first? I need to make sure he’s ok. Now. It’s urgent.” Merlin takes a step forward, opening the first set of doors. Louis instantly starts to sprint to the next pair, forcing Merlin to do the same.

“Can you at least explain along the way?”

“I don’t know,” Louis stops at the next set of doors, waiting for him to let him in again. Merlin obliges, hoping for more detail.

“You said Lark before.”

“I know what I said. Niall is in serious danger.”

“He’s not alone, remember?” Merlin watches as Louis realizes who is with Niall.

“My mum,” he screams running full speed to the next doors. Merlin follows, giving him access as he runs up to the last door. Louis kicks it in, falling inside. “Mum?” He looks around, trying to find her. He looks over at the empty bed, sheets thrown around like someone yanked them off in a hurry. “Mum?” Louis walks around the bed to see his mother lying on the floor. “Mum,” he yells running to her. Merlin walks over, waiting for Louis to let him examine her. “She’s still breathing,” he looks up. Merlin nods.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?”

“Lark and Trad are the fucking traitors. I don’t know why or how, all I know is they’ve got Niall and they’re about to kill us all. Fucking hell.” Louis slams his fist into the floor, screaming to release some tension. “I failed them.”

“You didn’t fail anyone. Your mum is still alive. Go. Get her out of here.” Merlin advises Louis.

“What? I can’t leave them.”

“I’ll find Niall.”

“No,” Louis stares at him. He has no idea if he can trust this guy. Like hell he’s going to leave the fate of his friends in Merlin’s hands.

“You need to get her out of here.”

“I know.”

“So go.”

“I can’t leave them.”

“The future of The League revolves around one of you four surviving.”

“What? Fuck The League. I don’t care about the future of it. All I care about is my friends surviving. I don’t give a shit about this crap organization. I’m done with it. All of it. No one actually cares about their vows or loyalty. It’s full of liars and traitors, dirty shady cowards.” Louis screams back. Merlin closes his lips tight, waiting for Louis to get it all out. After a moment of silence he shakes his head.

“Done now?” Louis nods so Merlin continues. “Good. Now shut up and listen to me. The League is the only thing that will save you now. It’s your revenge. The way to get back at Trad and Lark. It needs to always be alive and as long as you make it out, it will be.”

“How?”

“Harry made sure of it. Back when he started to feel cornered he had me put you, Liam and Niall in as his alternatives. He didn’t want anyone to know because it would have made you all more of a target than you already were.”

“You? How did you have access to that?” Merlin laughs at this, knowing it probably seems a little bizarre.

“Every leader picks one undercover double. Someone no one would expect to know anything or have access to it. In case something happens, they’d be as knowledgeable as the boss.” Merlin starts to explain everything as quickly as he can to catch Louis up. “Look, it doesn’t matter much else. I know what Harry knows. All of it, and I’m telling you to go. I’ll find them. I promise. But we need you. Your mum needs you.” Louis looks down, knowing he needs to go. He’ll never forgive himself if something happens to her, but he can’t figure out how to leave the boys behind. It’s truly the most difficult decision he’s ever had to make. Louis takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He knows what he has to do.

 

Liam looks around at the guys, trying to decide the best way to handle this. He knows he needs to save them, but he can’t figure out how. There’s nothing for them in this room. He closes, his eyes, excepting that he needs to stop Lark and Trad first. It’s the only way. He needs to warn everyone and shut this down. Liam stands up, debating if he should leave his friends. “I’m sorry… I promise I’ll be back soon.” Liam turns and walks towards the door. Every step further from Harry and Zayn brings a pang of guilt up Liam’s body. This isn’t a good idea, he thinks to himself regretting it already.


	37. Enemies Approaching

Liam runs into the main security room, looking at piles of rubble on the floor. There are wires sparking out from the walls, pieces of metal discarded in every direction. It’s a complete disaster. Liam shakes his head, knowing this room would be a total loss. He walks up to the wall, finding the pressure point and walking into a more secluded room. This one seems to be in perfect condition. Only three people knew it existed. Liam, Louis and Harry. Liam set it up when Harry was sick. All of the work he did trying to piece together what happened took place in this room. Liam turns around; making sure the door stays open. He needs to see if anything is going on out there to stay safe. Then he walks towards the computers. Step one, he starts to think to himself… delete Lark and Trad from the system. Step two, add them onto the Knights list in the security system, allowing it to kick on and wipe them out. Liam sighs, knowing this is where he could have used Louis’s knowledge to help him out. But he’ll make do. He doesn’t have a choice. He starts the long process of signing into the computer, letting it ask insanely person questions, scan his entire body, do a scan of all ten fingers and end with a voice recognition test. Each time you go to sign in, it asks you to say a different random phrase. Liam rolls his eyes at the amount of time it’s taking, knowing he doesn’t have any to waste.

“What are you doing in here?” Louis asks, walking inside the room. Liam jumps, turning around immediately.

“Louis? You’re supposed to be with Niall.”

“And you’re supposed to be with Zayn and Harry,” Louis replies. He smiles slowly, nodding his head. “Guess we both knew we had to stop them.”

“Did you see Niall at least?” Liam looks like he’s hoping for some good news. Louis looks down, unable to watch the disappointment form.

“He wasn’t there.”

“What do you mean he wasn’t there? He left?” Liam seems like he’s only trying to find a good explanation for Niall’s disappearing. He wants to believe Niall woke up, healthy enough to get out of bed and come help the boys. Louis keeps looking down, knowing that isn’t the case.

“Trad and Lark must’ve come for him. I don’t know where he is now… all I know is my mum was unconscious on the floor next to an empty bed when I walked in.”

“Louis, I’m so sorry. How is she?”

“It’s okay… she’ll be fine. I had Merlin get her out of here.”

“Merlin?”

“It’s a long story… We don’t have time for this anyway. What have you been able to do so far?” Louis nods towards the computers, walking up next to Liam.

“Just logged in to be honest.”

“All those security clearances were a shit idea for an emergency,” Louis laughs. Liam smiles at him, patting him on the back.

“We’ll get it. We always do.”

“I’m just praying they haven’t fucked up our defense system.”

“They’re not that smart. They’d be too cocky to believe we’d have a way of reviving it or even getting into it in the middle of all this chaos. They think they have us distracted.”

“They do,” Louis shakes his head.

“I know, but we need to push all of that behind us,” Liam’s voice softens. “We’ll figure it out Louis. I know we will.”

“We need a bloody miracle right about now.”

“You did say Zayn was innocent earlier, which proves miracles are happening today,” Liam smiles. Louis lets out a laugh, nodding in agreement.

“All right miracles, how much more you got?”

 

“Harry,” Zayn coughs as he slowly sits up. His head is pounding awfully hard. He closes his eyes tight before opening them up to find his friend. He spots him quickly, crawling over to help. “Harry,” he says a little clearer. “Come on now,” Zayn shakes him gently. He looks down at Harry’s shirt, following the bloodstains. “Is this even yours?” Zayn lifts his shirt, unable to find a single gunshot. “Son of a bitch,” he laughs realizing it isn’t. “Wake the fuck up then.” He pats on Harry’s back, trying to get him to breathe in fresh air. His hand traces the bruises on Harry’s face, wiping some blood off his cuts. “Well I guess there’s some of yours.” Harry’s eyes slowly start to open, staring up at Zayn.

“Niall,” Harry whispers. “Where’s Niall?”

“I don’t know. But we’ll save him. Come on. Get up.” Zayn helps Harry sit up properly, giving him a minute before pulling him onto his feet. “Steady,” Zayn helps him up.

“Jefferson,” Harry’s eyes find him, instantly knowing his fate. He takes a few steps closer, not wanting to accept it. “He didn’t deserve that. This is my fault.”

“Harry-”

“No. Don’t bother saying it. Nothing will change my mind. I know I did this.” He shakes his head. “I won’t let it happen to Niall.”

“I know.”

“Do you have a plan?”

“I was hoping you would,” Zayn shyly admits.

“You’re the one who came in here all hero like. Figured you’d have an escape plan.”

“I wasn’t thinking. I just heard gunshots and thought it was you…” Zayn’s voice fades out. Harry looks at him, understanding what he’s saying.

“You’re on our side.”

“Always was.”

“We need to go to Niall,” Harry turns around, not wanting to get into it. If he breaks down right now he’ll be useless. He needs to pull himself together and flip the switch. His emotions are off. Its just business now. He’s the leader and his team is in trouble. Nothing is going to stop him. “Come on,” Harry walks out the door, leading Zayn down the hallway.

“Are we just going to his room?”

“He’s not going to be in his room.” Harry turns sharply, knowing exactly what he’s doing.

“What are you talking about?”

“Lark has him by now. They both do.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I trained with them. Just like you did. What would Lark have taught you in this situation?”

“To grab Niall and wait for you somewhere I’d know you’d show up.”

“Exactly. So we’re going to my place. It’s where Trad would wait.” Harry starts to walk faster, knowing Niall is at risk. God only knows what they’d do waiting for Harry to show up.

“You’re a genius,” Zayn compliments him.

“I’ve just played the game for far too long…” Harry sighs. “What happened with Lark? How did you know he was a traitor and never warned us?”

“He hated The League once his father was murdered,” Zayn starts to explain. Harry closes his eyes for a minute, remembering that day.

“It was one of his high commanders,” Harry nods. “Out of anger he killed him. No one saw it coming.”

“Exactly. But Lark blamed The League for it. It turned him bitter. He sought out The Knights, came to them with a plan of revenge. They accepted him in, putting him onto my mission. We were able to help each other. He could give me information on The League and I could teach him more on The Knights. We looked out for one another until…” Zayn paused a moment. He hated reliving this as much as Harry probably hated hearing it. But he knew it was necessary. “The day we attacked… After he disabled the security system we found each other. He was crying, saying he couldn’t do it. That he turned it back on and was going to finish us all off. I told him I understood, that I wasn’t going to go through with it… That’s when he said he wanted to end his suffering in a way that wouldn’t hurt you. He told me he was going to become a mentor to the incoming Potentials, allow them to finish him off that way he could stop feeling guilty and you would never have to know what he did. I never said anything because you needed to believe he was as good as you thought. I knew if you found out about another person you trusted so deeply betraying you that you would’ve lost it.”

“This isn’t any better,” Harry answers.

“I know. I’m sorry. I thought he was gone, it wouldn’t have mattered then.”

“It’ll always matter. I wouldn’t have let him be a mentor.”

“You wouldn’t have killed him.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Harry, you couldn’t even kill me and you were a hell of a lot closer to him.” Harry let Zayn’s words wash over him. He knew he was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. Zayn should’ve told him.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Harry opens a door and walks over towards his flat.

“This it?”

“Yeah, this is it.”

“Wait,” Zayn reaches up and stops Harry from opening his door. “We need a plan.”

“The plan is to save Niall, whatever it takes.”

“Harry, you know what they want.”

“I’m not about to let them murder him too. Whatever it takes Zayn. I don’t care.” Zayn looks Harry in the eyes, realizing there is no other outcome for him. Saving Niall is Harry’s endgame.

“Code 1352. I repeat, this is a code 1352. Members of The League need to arm themselves and remain cautious. Anyone who sees Trad and Lark roaming the halls, don’t hesitate to act. This is a code 1352.” Liam’s voice echoes overhead. Harry’s eyes widen, knowing this is about to push Lark and Trad into panic mode. They’ll have to act quickly now to get what they want.

“He was doing what was right by The League,” Zayn reads Harry’s face.

“I know,” he nods. “It’s what I should’ve done. Some leader I am. I was willing to put my guys in danger to save Niall. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you. You’re in love. No one can blame you for that. Besides you have all of us to help you. It isn’t a one or the other option, everyone can be saved. Now come on, open that door.” Harry turns around to face the door again, pressing his hand against it. A laser traces up and down his body before the door unlocks. Harry opens it, taking a cautious step inside. He sees Niall lying on the floor, causing him to run straight ahead.

“Niall,” Harry falls to his knees. Zayn slowly walks in, looking over at Lark.

“Where’s your clone?” Zayn asks, noticing Trad is missing.

“Probably killing Liam right about now,” Lark answers. Zayn fights every urge in his body to lunge at Lark, knowing that’s what he wants.

“Now what?” Zayn waits for his demands. “You have us right where you want us. What’s the next move?”

“So eager,” Lark nods. “I forgot how much you loved to learn your enemy. Get inside their head. Is it working for you now?”

“Who are you?” Harry turns to face Lark, not letting go of Niall. “I don’t even recognize you any more. This isn’t you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“But I do. You’re the same smart ass who taught me how to shoot a gun… the obnoxiously loud clown who had to interrupt every briefing with a joke, to remind people to always keep laughing. You were the older brother I never had. The one who pushed me to become the best agent I could be, forcing me to take over The League because he believed in me.”

“And you bought that last one?” Lark shook his head. “I wanted this place to rot in hell after you all murdered my father.”

“It was one member Lark. One who paid for it with his life.”

“You all had one job and you failed it. It wasn’t his time. Why else do you think I urged you to take over? You were still a kid when you became the Leader. People doubted you.”

“But you stood up for me.”

“Because I was hoping there would be a revolt,” Lark shakes his head. “Guess I truly underestimated you back then.”

“You were family,” Harry tries to remind Lark of their past. “You were there for me when my father and Gemma were murdered. You helped me get through it, talking about how evil The Knights were. You were the one who made me hate them and then you ran off to be one? All because of one severely screwed up member?”

“What happened to them was unfortunate but so was what happened to my father. The Leader. If you can just murder the head of your organization in a room full of agents like nothing maters.”

“Everyone you want your revenge against is dead. They all were punished for it. You know that, you watched their terminations.” Harry shakes his head. “So why go after the innocent? People who were your friends? Do you know how many grieved your death? This place was miserable the days to follow your termination.”

“I can’t tell if you’re trying to stall me or if you actually think you can get to me.” Lark raises an eyebrow, watching Harry closely.

“I’m trying to remind you of who you are,” Harry answers. He feels Niall move, immediately turning his attention off of Lark. Niall’s eyes remain closed, showing no other sign of waking up.

“Truly fascinating…” Lark observes. Harry looks back over at him, getting defensive of Niall.

“You don’t need him here. Let Zayn take him back down to the medical wing to get the help he needs. You have me.”

“Do you think I’m stupid? The second he leaves this room you won’t be compliant. Zayn can leave though,” Lark smiles. “Don’t say I’m not generous.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Zayn shakes his head.

“Well I tried for you mate,” Lark shrugs. Harry looks around his place, trying to figure out a plan. Niall moves in Harry’s arms again, catching everyone’s attention this time.

 

“Harry,” I whisper with my eyes still closed.

“I’m here Niall,” Harry instantly replies. I slowly open my eyes as I start to take in the room around me. I spot Harry first, smiling as wide as I can.

“Welcome back,” Lark says with a grin. I immediately turn to him, white as a sheet.

“Lark? Am I dead?”

“Neither one of you are dead,” Zayn starts to inform me. I don’t take my eyes off Lark though; I just sit up slowly, staring in disbelief.

“How? I shot you.”

“You thought you did.”

“No, I did. I did. Your blood was all over me…” I shake my head, not understanding how this is possible. “I watched you fall to the floor… I held your lifeless body in my hands. You were cold. Dead.”

“It’s a fun little trick. I’d been working on it for months really. You see, when you pulled the trigger I injected myself with a nice little concoction I made in the lab to lower my heart rate and shallow out my breathing enough to be pronounced as dead. Since I was a mentor no one was really going to look into it. As long as I appeared dead to the naked eye, I was dead.”

“But your blood… And your hands… you were ice cold.”

“I was cold before you shot me, you just didn’t know it. You were too focused on other things to pay attention. Your gun had a blank in it. You didn’t actually shoot anything out.”

“The blood?”

“That was a fun little trick. When you fired the blank, I had blood packets hidden inside my shirt go off. Actually sown between the fabrics so they went undetected. My own blood too. Took a little bit every now and then to build it up.”

“We buried you,” I just can’t believe everything Lark went through to pull this off. This is madness.

“By that time I switched places with a realistically looking dummy.” Lark laughs a little, making me cringe. How could a laugh like that, so warm and inviting, belong to a man so dark?

“Niall don’t try to understand it, he’s out of his mind.” Harry tries to take my attention off of Lark, but it doesn’t work. I just keep staring at the man I used to look up to. I admired him even.

“Do you know what killing you did to me?”

“Well you didn’t kill me mate, so you’re welcome for relieving you from that stress.”

“I could kill you right now,” I grab onto the counter nearby to pull myself up. I probably look like I’m about to shoot daggers out of my eyes.

“Go on. Your friends have already tried.” Lark smiles, pointing his gun to Harry. I look at him again, realizing what was going on.

“You’re the traitor…” I swallow hard, wishing I could become unconscious again. Things were much easier then.

“No brain damage there,” Lark replies.

“Who shot me?” My voice comes out strange. I don’t even recognize it to tell you the truth. It’s almost as if I was a completely different person in that moment. I might’ve been too. Lark helped me figure out who I was when I first joined The League, so seeing what became of him changed everything I knew.

“You don’t need to know that,” Harry whispers. He’s trying to protect me; I know he is, which just makes hearing it worse. I can’t imagine what he’s feeling about this, yet he’s trying to stop me from hurting more. Maybe it’s to protect him too… If he found out Lark was the one to shoot me he’d never forgive himself.

“I wasn’t aiming for you,” Lark answers. I close my eyes, inhaling deeply. Someone wake me up. This is all just a dream, right? This is just what my self-conscious is making up to distract me from the pain the bullet is causing me. It has to be. Okay self, joke’s over. Wake up now.

“Alert. Enemies approaching. Alert. Shutting down all exits. Remain calm,” the commanding voice I’ve missed so much chimes in. I wish it were under better circumstances. For a moment, listening to that voice made me think things were back to normal. I’d give anything for that.

“Looks like my friends are just in time,” Lark winks.

“So this is what you wanted? To kill us all?” Harry shakes his head, waiting for a better answer.

“You need to learn to not take things so personally mate,” he replies.

“And you need to learn to never hold someone hostage in their own flat,” Harry replies as he quickly twirls around, reaching under the counter top to pull out a gun, firing immediately. Lark’s body shakes before slamming down to the ground. Harry slams his fist onto the cabinet, opening a secret drawer. He pulls out the handcuffs and puts them on Lark, turning him onto his back.

“What the fuck was that?” I stare in disbelief. How did he do that?

“Electric shock. He’ll live, for now.” Harry looks over to Zayn, not wanting to miss an opportunity. “Pull up the security cameras. Find me Liam and Louis. Show me the main entrance and the medical wind. I want to see it all.” Harry turns to me now, a small smile forming. “Are you all right? Need anything? I’ll bring you back down as soon as I can.”

“I’m fine,” I look back to Lark’s unconscious body. How is this my mentor? How was he faking everything that entire time?

“Niall-”

“I found them. Liam and Louis,” Zayn interrupts. Harry turns towards Zayn, walking over to see what he saw. I find myself moving closer to Lark, searching for an answer somewhere. This doesn’t make sense. None of this makes sense. I can’t accept it. I won’t.


	38. You Were Just A Pawn

“Where are they?” I ask, still staring at Lark. I feel like everything I’ve ever known about this place is a lie. My entire existence since the idea to join The League popped into my head is a joke. This is the man that shaped me into who I am today. He was the one who guided me, taught me how to survive.

“Niall?” Harry walks closer to me.

“I’m fine. Just wanna know where Liam and Louis are.”

“We just answered you…” Zayn almost whispers.

“Oh… sorry… what did you say?” I turn my head back towards them. Harry is standing an arm’s length away from me now.

“Louis is in a control room and Liam seems to have just left. Not sure where he’s going yet… Why don’t you sit down?” Harry nods his head towards the couch.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re still recovering-”

“I’m fine,” I yell. Harry instantly closes his mouth. He turns back to Zayn and takes a few steps towards the screen. I should apologize for snapping at him like that but it’s nice not being babied anymore. I’ll apologize later. I’m sure by then I’ll have a lot more to apologize fore anyway.

“He’s heading this way,” Harry furrows his eyebrows.

“Is he?” Zayn stares intently at the screen.

“It’s the back way. He’s taken it a few times before,” Harry nods. “I wonder why he’s heading here.”

“He knows,” Zayn shrugs. “It’s Liam. He’s always been a few steps ahead of us. He’s probably coming to warn us.”

“We need to gather a better plan. Where’s the medical wing?”

“There’s no picture available. I think they deactivated the cameras when they got Niall out from there.” I look up at the mention of my name.

“Where’s Trad?” He has to be here still.

“I can’t find him,” Zayn answers.

“What do you mean? He’s still here. You know he is. He’s planning something.”

“We know Niall,” Harry starts to speak to me like I’m a child again. It’s really starting to get old.

“He’s the biggest threat right now.” I try to remind them of what’s at stake. “He knows everything. More than we do. Hell he’s been planning this since he was created.”

“I’m aware of what’s going on,” Harry starts again.

“Are you? Because the only thing you seem to be focusing on is me.” Harry looks like someone just punched him in the gut. He scrunches his face up, confused. I know it was a low blow, but he needs to focus on something else right now. There’s more at risk than just my life. “You’re a leader. Lead.”

“Niall,” Zayn looks at me like he’s about to scold me for my behavior.

“No, he’s right,” Harry nods. “I’m going to go out there.”

“Harry you can’t,” Zayn starts to protest.

“Whatever is going on, I’m supposed to stop it. I’m not going to hide away while my people die defending this building. I’m going to fight with them. Whatever Liam has to say, take note of. I trust his judgment.”

“Be careful,” Zayn practically begs. Harry smiles, nodding slowly. He turns to me. I can tell he wants to command me not to move, handcuff me in here as well so that nothing happens, but he doesn’t say a word. He just looks me up and down before turning back around and heading towards the door. I watch as he leaves, wondering if I should’ve said something, but I know if I did he never would have left.

“Now what?” I look at Zayn for an answer.

“We find out what he knows,” Zayn walks towards Lark. He kicks at his body, trying to see if he’ll wake up soon.

“What are you going to do?”

“If you have any feelings left for him, I would suggest you leave too.”

“You’re going to torture him?”

“If I have to,” Zayn stares at me. He actually sounds pissed off that I asked him such a question. “He’s the enemy Niall.”

“So were you once,” I look down to Lark again. Maybe he can be saved too. Maybe there’s another way.

“I never wanted to kill any of you.”

“But Lark-”

“He’s deeper into the Knights than you’ll ever understand.”

“No,” I shake my head.

“Niall if you try to figure this all out you’re going to kill yourself.”

“I won’t accept that as an answer.”

“Let it go. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Harry.” Zayn’s eyes are pleading with me to just walk away, but I can’t. Call me stubborn but there’s more to this. Zayn was our number one enemy not too long ago. There was a kill first question later law out on him, yet there was more to his story. Maybe Lark is the same way.

“I won’t let you do it.” I move closer to Lark, protecting him from Zayn.

“We need to know what he knows and terminate him.”

“No.”

“Do you want us all to die?” Zayn raises his voice a little. “He shot you Niall. He tried to take us all out. How do you have any doubts left about his intentions?”

“I don’t think he shot me.”

“He admitted it.”

“So he way lying,” I shrug. “I don’t buy it.”

“You’re going to get us all killed.”

“I’d rather die with a clear conscience than live with regret.” Zayn doesn’t reply for a minute, letting my words wash over him. He looks at me with an understanding behind his eyes. I know he won’t actually say he understands, but I can see that he does. He lets out a long breath, waiting for something else to happen. Almost if on cue, Liam starts banging on the door. It’s like he didn’t even have the patience to go through all of the security checkpoints. Zayn practically sprints to open it, smiling as soon as he sees Liam.

“You all right?”

“Yeah, you?” Liam asks. Zayn nods. “Good… Niall!” Liam’s eyes widen when they land on me. He smiles, until he sees Lark lying on the floor. Almost instantly his smile vanishes. For once Liam seems to be at a loss for words.

“He’s innocent,” I start to explain.

“He’s convinced,” Zayn whispers. Liam nods, taking a step towards me.

“Maybe you should sit this one out,” he starts advising me. I roll my eyes, not wanting to hear it.

“I know he’s innocent. Why is that so crazy? You all want to strap me into a white coat and lock me away just because I believe in my heart that someone who I spent countless days and nights with couldn’t be behind this, yet when you were swearing left and right that Zayn was innocent it’s acceptable? How many people told you to fuck off Liam? And did you listen?”

“That’s different mate.”

“How?” I stare at him, waiting for an answer that makes sense.

“Zayn never claimed responsibility for anything that happened. He wasn’t rooting for our downfall. He actually wanted us to beat him.” Liam looks back over at Zayn with a fond smile.

“Can you read minds?”

“What?”

“Can you read someone’s mind? Because unless you can, there’s no way of being 100% certain that Lark did this on his own. That he wasn’t coerced. That there isn’t a bigger picture at play here.”

“Niall, we don’t have time for this.” Liam sighs. I know he wishes he could do more for me right now, but he’s on a tight schedule. “We need to know whatever their plans are. Trad is still out there and as long as he’s on the loose, we’re in danger.”

“When he wakes up we’ll ask him,” I shake my head. “I know what’s at risk.”

“Do you?” Zayn speaks up, refusing to look at me. “We need to get answers. Not by asking him, by demanding them from him.”

“Zayn,” Liam turns to him. I can tell by his face he agrees with him, of course he agrees with him, but he hates it all the same.

“I won’t let you. I won’t let you touch him.” I maneuver myself between them and Lark. Almost like his protector.

“Niall, don’t.” Liam begs me to move, but I can’t. This is Lark. They might not understand what that means, but I do. I owe my life to this man. There’s no way he’s responsible for all this. Maybe he’s the fall guy; maybe they did something to him. I don’t know. All I know is that he had to feel some sort of connection to this place. He had to feel a connection to me. You don’t spend all that time with someone, trusting them with your life just to turn around and kill them yourself. It doesn’t work like that.

“I don’t want to hurt you mate,” Zayn takes a small step forward, warning me. I just stand my ground, daring him to try it.

“This is what they want,” Liam shakes his head. “Trad and Lark were hoping to pull us apart. We’re stronger when we’re all fighting on the same team but when we’re at each other’s throats like this we’re breaking ourselves down for them.”

“So you guys go,” I reply. “Leave here. Do whatever you have to do to find Trad and end this. I’ll stay behind.”

“No. Do you think we’re stupid?” Zayn laughs a little. “We leave and you let him go, thinking a long talk will suddenly fix what he’s done. You’re mad.”

“What, are you afraid he’ll say something about you that you don’t want us to find out?” I cock my head to the side, challenging him. In this moment I can’t stand Zayn. To be honest, I wouldn’t even be mad if he didn’t come back. I can’t understand why he’s so determined to torture Lark for some answers that he’d never give up. Even if Lark really is in that deep, he’s better than that. He’d take his knowledge to the grave before giving us anything.

“What?” Zayn stares at me. I think he’d deck me if Liam weren’t in the room.

“Enough,” Liam screams. “Both of you, knock it off. Niall will stay here and guard Lark. Keep him cuffed, but that’s all I’ll tell you to do.”

“Fair enough,” I nod.

“Zayn, we’ll go look for Trad. He’s here somewhere and the longer he stays hidden the more it worries me. Louis is working on the security system still, trying to get it running. We don’t have much time. The Knights are approaching our outer walls. We need to act fast. Every minute we stay here fighting is another member of The League dead. So lets go.” Liam starts to head towards the door, but Zayn hesitates a moment. He looks back at me and Lark, opening his mouth like he wants to say something. “Zayn,” Liam calls for him to follow. Zayn closes his mouth, turning around quickly. He follows Liam out. I look around, realizing I’m actually alone now. Well alone with Lark. Which is what I wanted. I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. I’m actually starting to feel really dizzy. I should probably sit down. I walk over to the couch, trying to collect my thoughts. It seems impossible though. There’s so much flying around inside my head. As I sit onto the couch, I start replaying every interaction I ever had with Lark. Something isn’t right. I know it, in my gut. He always told me to follow that, maybe he knew this day was coming. But what. What could force him to act like this? Lark moves a little, turning my focus back onto him lying there. I wonder if I should move him, make him feel a little more comfortable. As I stand up I see his eyes slowly open. He looks around, taking in his surroundings, before closing his eyes again.

“Harry,” He whispers. He knows where he is.

“Not exactly,” I reply. I take a step closer to him. It’s not like he can hurt me now, he’s restricted.

“Niall?” He laughs. “Of course it’s you. They sent you to babysit me huh?”

“I just need to understand.”

“Understand what?” He opens his eyes again, staring up at me. “You know all you need to.”

“But I don’t,” I shake my head. “It doesn’t add up. You were…” I pause to swallow, not wanting to continue.

“Not everything is what it appears to be.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means you’re too naïve and innocent. Just get on with it. Torture me. Kill me. Get it out.”

“I’m not doing any of that.”

“Then you’re a fool. I taught you better than that.”

“You taught me to follow my gut. Always listen to it, no matter how crazy it may seem. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t believe this. I don’t believe you.”

“You always were stubborn,” Lark laughs again. I can’t tell if it’s out of pity or enjoyment.

“It doesn’t add up.”

“It doesn’t add up or you don’t want it to add up?” There he goes, still teaching me. I stare at him a moment, trying to differentiate between the two scenarios.

“It doesn’t add up,” I repeat again. This time I’m confident in my choice of words.

“You give me too much credit.”

“Then everyone does.”

“No,” Lark shakes his head. “Just you. Everyone else believes me.”

“I spent a lot of time with you in life or death situations. I watched you risk your life for mine over and over again. It wouldn’t make sense that you tried to take it after all that.”

“I told you, I wasn’t aiming for you.”

“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “You were willing to die to save me. You don’t do that shit if you’re a mole. You wouldn’t have cared what the fuck happened to me.”

“I hate to break it to you kid, but if I didn’t save you my cover would’ve been blown. That’s all there is to it.” Lark closes his eyes again. It’s almost like I can actually see how much older he is than me in this light. He’s never acted his age, but it’s catching up to him in this moment.

“I don’t buy it.”

“What do you want from me Niall?” He opens his eyes again, clearly exhausted. It’s like he’s done playing whatever games he’s been living.

“I want the truth.”

“I’ve already given it to you. I don’t give a damn about you. Never have. I kept you alive so I could continue my plans. You were just a pawn in my game. So go on. Get mad. Break shit. Kill me.” He stares at me, almost begging me to end his life. I feel a flashback of the last time this happened. The desperation. He might not have actually died but he wanted to. Just like now. He was hoping I would’ve succeeded last time. Why does he want to die so badly? What does this have to do with everything that he’s done? I need to figure it out, fast. I’m running out of time. We both are.


	39. Follow Your Gut

I walk over to the security monitors, trying to keep up with what's going on. Part of me feels guilty for staying here, but I know it's what I need to do. I'd never forgive myself if I turned my back on Lark. Not after all we've been through. "They're in danger," Lark reminds me. As if I didn't already know that.

"So help them," I yell back. I didn't meant to be that loud but my emotions are starting to get the best of me. He doesn't give me his recently overused sarcastic reply though. Not even a smirk or a chuckle. "You can," I say a little softer.

"I can't," he shakes his head. The tension in the room seems to be growing. I can tell how reluctant he is to contribute, but I'm not letting up. "It's just us now."

"It never is."

"What?"

"Go save them," he replies. I can tell  
he's still avoiding the issue at play as best as he can. He thinks bringing up the lads will make me forget what he's done.

"Not until I save you."

"Then kill me," he screams. I've never heard him raise his voice at me. It's weird. He's not doing it out of anger or hatred, just desperation.

"I've tried before. It just wasn't meant to be," I smile. Lark lets out a small laugh, looking up at me.

"Your mentor clearly never taught you how to get the job done."

"He was still one of the best around." Lark grows silent, turning his head to the monitors behind me.

"He's going to kill them," he nods to the  
screen showing Trad. Trad and Harry both seem to be walking towards the same direction. I feel my stomach start to fall, knowing what lies ahead for Harry. "You need to save him."

"We both will."

"No," he screams again. I just stare at him, confused. Things seemed to be going okay for a moment there.

"You'd rather watch Harry die?"

"I'm telling you to go. Leave me here."

"If I leave you and a member of The League finds you, they'll torture you until you die."

"I know."

"How are you okay with that?"

"I deserve it." I can hear the defeat in his  
voice now. It's only growing.

"I don't care what you did, I'm not going to let that happen to you. I took an oath. It meant something to me, and you were a part of that. You are a part of that. I know this isn't really you Lark."

"You're going to get us both killed," he sighs.

"I can't think of a better man to die beside."

"You are unbelievable kid."

"Come on, I'll take those off." I nod towards his handcuffs. His eyes widen as his head shoots back up.

"NO," he screams louder than before. "You can't."

"Why not?"

"If you do that, they'll think I switched sides and you can't let them think that."

"I'm not going to let them hurt you."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"Then who?"

"The handcuffs stay on. I'll go with you, but as your prisoner. Nothing more." His voice is stern, eyes staring hard. I keep waiting for him to blink but he doesn't move a muscle.

"Okay. Fine," I agree. I walk over towards Harry's armory, milling through the weapons. I start stocking up, knowing we're going to run into some enemies along the way. As I glance back at the monitors I see a group of Knights breaking into this floor. Helicopters. They thought of everything. Luckily the outside cameras show Louis's making progress with keeping the ground systems up. Any Knight comes near the sensors and they're immediately obliterated. We can handle a small group. There's got to be enough of us left, right? Right. I shake my head, eliminating all doubts. "You need to arm yourself. What's your pick?" I ask Lark, knowing I can't leave him defenseless.

"No," he shakes his head. "A prisoner.  
Nothing more."

"I can't take you out there unarmed. You'll die."

"I'll die if I'm armed and you're still alive."

"Then stay close to me." I turn around and head towards the door, opening it slowly. I look back at Lark, watching him walk behind me. "Do you know where they were heading?" I ask, turning our attention back onto Trad and Harry.

"No, but if we head in that direction we'll find them... or they'll find us." Lark watches as I take in his words, fearing we won't reach Harry in time. "He was trained for this. We'll get there before it's too late."

"You want to save him too," I smile. Lark just shakes his head.

"Unbelievable kid. Get walking. You need to lead the way." I walk out in front, looking down the hallway. Can't be too cautious. Harry might be in danger but so are we.

"Are you ever going to tell me what I want to know?"

"You have a better shot at torturing me for it." Typical Lark.

"I'll keep that in mind," I laugh. We turn a corner and are immediately under fire. Why was I talking? I know better than that. Never make noise on a mission. I dodge a few rounds as I shoot back at them. There's three men. Two with guns and one with blades in his hands. "Don't move," I yell to Lark, who takes cover behind the wall again. I dive behind a table, kicking it up as a shield. A blade shoots through the table, piercing me in the arm. Fuck. Three against one is unfair. I pull it out of my arm and jump up, shooting at one of the gunmen. I hear a thump as his body hits the ground. One down, two to go. The man with the blades jumps behind the table, forcing me out into the open.

"On your six," Lark yells, tackling the remaining gunman to the ground. I hear the gun go off and immediately shoot the Knight in front of me.

"Lark?" I run to his side, kneeling on the floor. I roll him over, looking at the man with a snapped neck underneath him. My eyes scan Lark's body, trying to find the source of all the blood. "Lark," my voice comes out in a whisper.

"You're bleeding," he answers, looking up at me. He smiles, or attempts to smile, grimacing instead.

"Stay with me," I reply focusing on his wounds.

"Save Harry," he gasps for air. "Kill them all. Set everyone free."

"You can't tell me you saved my life for your cover again. You're still on The League's side." I feel a tear roll down my cheek as that warm smile finally takes over Lark's face.

"Follow your gut."

"But why?"

"They had her. Janelle. They're holding her against me."

"Lark..."

"Don't trust them."

"Who?" I watch the color drain from his face, knowing what's about to come.

"Hang in there Lark. I'll get you help." I don't know why I'm lying to him, we both know he's going to die. Is it better to lie to someone before they go? Isn't that wrong to let your last exchange be filled with pointless words? I don't think it's actually comforting him like people believe.

"You always were my favorite potential," he smiles again. "One of the most loyal human beings around. There will never be another like you." Lark opens his mouth, gasping one more time. "You're the only one who can save us," he coughs out. His eyes drop down. Suddenly he falls still in my arms.

"No. Lark. Lark." I rest my head against his chest, rocking his limp body back and forth. This is all too familiar. Part of me wants to check if he's really dead. I could just sit here with him until he wakes up, listen to whatever story he has this time. But he's not going to wake up. Not again. I would've waited here no matter what to be honest, if it wasn't for Harry. I have to get to him. I lay Lark down, moving him to the side of the hallway. "I'll be back for you. I won't let you down." I turn around and start to jog towards where Harry was heading. Each step I start to pick up speed, knowing I can't lose anyone else. That was the final straw. But, on the bright side, I was right. Lark didn't want to kill us. He didn't want any of this. They were controlling him. Janelle was the love of his life, but he refused to go down that path and put her in danger. Turns out whether they were actually involved or not didn't matter. They were doomed from the start. It reminds me of my relationship with Harry a little bit. Sometimes I wonder if he'd be safer without me around. I know I put him in situations where he doesn't think with a clear mind and it endangers him. But seeing this reminds me that no matter what we are, our hearts will still be ruled by the other. I slow down, trying to look around. Harry went that way. I know he did. I can almost feel it... that's weird. I've never felt this way before. I pick the pace back up, turning left. I hear a loud crash coming from a room at the end of the hall. "Harry," I smile knowing I've found him. I run into the room, watching Harry dodging Trad's attacks. "Is that all you've got?" Harry taunts him. I can't believe he's actually taunting him. This is like a bad action movie right now. He's not even at an advantage to be taunting anyone. Trad throws a knife, missing Harry by a centimeter.

"It's over Trad," I yell out. I have my gun  
trained on him, waiting for him to give me a reason.

"Is it?" Trad looks back, snapping his fingers. Two men come around the corner, one holding what looks like a bomb while the other holds a pistol. I should've just shot first without speaking.

"Niall get out of here," Harry yells. His eyes fixate on the blood coming out of my arm. Oh right, I was stabbed. To be honest I can't feel a thing. Almost forgot about it. "Go," he says a little softer.

"I'm not leaving you," I answer him. "I'm  
sorry." I watch him as he tries to understand why I'm apologizing, the gears slowly turning inside his brain. I can tell he finally realizes it's for how I acted before because he laughs a little. "You lead, I follow."

"All right," he nods slowly. He looks back at the men in front of us, clearly trying to figure out a plan. I look between the Knights, deciding who would be the best target to take out fast. The guy with the pistol would be pretty smart because he's a long distance threat. The bomb, however, seems like it needs immediate attention. Though even taking him out doesn't guarantee our safety. Suddenly I hear Lark's voice inside my head again, telling me to follow my gut. Don't trust anyone... who was he warning me against though? Clearly it isn't Harry. I know I can trust him. My gut tells me that I can. "What's your move?" Harry shouts to Trad, reminding me I can't get caught up in questions again.

"You get to make a choice," Trad smiles sinisterly. I don't like the looks of that at all.

"What kind of choice?"

"Who lives for now, and who dies." Trad turns his head towards the area where his henchmen walked out. "Fawn," he calls for someone. A tall, muscular, beady eyed man walks out, pulling someone with a hood over their head. My first thought was Janelle. They brought her here to keep Lark in line and they know what happened back there. As I look a little harder at the person's body I realize it's not female. Okay, so it's not Janelle and it's not me... who could the figure be? Who are they using against Harry?

"I'm not playing your games," Harry yells to Trad. He means business. This side of Harry is actually pretty hot, I'm not gonna lie. If we weren't fighting for our lives right now I'd have to jump him.

"You sure? Because if you don't pick who you get to watch die right now, I do. And I can assure you I'm leaning towards your little boyfriend over there." Trad nods in my direction, smirking like he's proud of himself. I watch Harry have trouble catching his breath, but he holds stern. He keeps his eyes trained on Trad, showing no sign of weakness. I don't even think I would've noticed if I hadn't known him so well. I can only imagine what's going on inside his head right now. Clearly he's not as calm and collected in his own thoughts.

"I don't play with lives. You know I won't negotiate. I won't give in. I'm not at your mercy. I never will be." I can't help but smile at Harry's reply. I'm so proud of him. He's found a way to get back into his role as a leader. He knows what he has to say and do, despite his feelings. This is the man I fell in love with, weirdly enough.

"You have two options," Trad takes a step closer to the hooded man. "You can humor me and pick a life, which really is a lot more fun for me, or you can stand there being stubborn and force me to set off this bomb and kill you all at once. So oh wise one, what's it going to be? Save one life or kill you all?" I watch as Harry clenches his jaw, juggling his options. I know he wants to save me. I can tell he's leaning towards it, but I won't be his weakness. If he gives in now and we somehow escape this, everyone will use me against him. I'll be his downfall and I can't risk that. He has to see this. I'm a danger to him. Kill me. Harry, choose me to die. It's your only option. I try to will my thoughts towards him, knowing I can't say any of this out loud. Harry's smart though, I know he's having the same debate inside his own head right now. "Well?" Trad asks.

"Who is it?" Harry stares at Trad, still not showing any signs of defeat. He's just gaining more information before making his choice, which is smart. There's no use freaking out if the man under the hood isn't worth anything.

"Ahh, now you're interested." Trad smiles as he walks all the way next to the man with the bag on his head. He looks to Harry and then to me. "Now that I have your attention, are you ready?" Harry just keeps staring straight ahead. I'm sure he's going through everyone he's ever cared about right now. If they could keep Lark around without him knowing they could keep anyone really. I'm sure he's hopeful, thinking his sister or father might still be alive. But it's only one figure, clearly male. And he doesn't seem to have an old soul attached to him, though it's hard to tell that without seeing any bit of him.

"We're waiting," Harry reminds him. I think part of him wants Trad to keep stalling so he can think of a plan.

"Very well," Trad smiles. "Whatever you say, Leader." Trad moves his hands onto both sides of the bag, lifting it off slowly. Harry takes a long, slow, breath in. I watch him swallow hard, refusing to blink the entire time. I was so trained on watching Harry's reaction, I realize I stopped looking to find out who it is. Judging by Harry's demeanor though, it's someone important to him. I follow his gaze to see Zayn standing on the stage. His mouth is gagged, hands tied behind his back. Why does it always come back to Zayn? How did this even happen? He was with Liam... do they have Liam too? Did they kill him? No, there's no way a coward like Trad could take out Liam. I won't accept that... but if Liam was alive there's no way in hell he'd let them take Zayn. He'd rather die. I feel a pain start to grow inside me as those thoughts sink in. Lark's voice comes back to me, screaming to listen to my gut. I don't want to though, not this time. He's alive. He has to be.


	40. What Would Liam Do

I stare at Zayn, trying to read his face. I didn’t want to outright say Liam’s name because that could only make things worse if they have him. Zayn stares back, eyes filled with tears. That’s all the answer I need. “You son of a bitch,” I scream as I jump towards Trad.

“Niall,” Harry moves to me, unaware of the reason behind my sudden outburst. He grabs me, pulling me back away from them.

“Let me go,” I yell, still trying to get my hands on Trad. Zayn just closes his eyes, giving into the defeat.

“It’s okay,” Harry starts to try to calm me down. He knows we shouldn’t be showing any reaction to Zayn being held but he doesn’t know why I’m freaking out.

“Looks like you’re more attached to your undercover work than Harry thought,” Trad smiles. He’s not about to give away any more information on what’s happened to the others.

“Harry don’t make any deals with this bastard. I say we go out fighting. Hard,” I look Harry in the eyes, my voice too low for Trad to hear. “I have another weapon for you. We can do this. He won’t let anyone leave here alive.”

“I know,” Harry nods. His eyes jump back up to Zayn, mouth tight-lipped. “Why did you go off like that?”

“Tick tok boss.” Trad reminds Harry with a snicker.

“On the count of three, take the gun out of my ankle holder. You bend down and I’ll shoot at the guy holding Zayn. You take out the other armed Knight and I’ll shoot the guy with the bomb.” I wait for a response from Harry, showing he’s okay with the plan. Not that it really mattered. What other choice did we have?

“If this doesn’t go according to plan…”

“I know. But we don’t have another option. If we lay down our arms right now we’re just as dead. At least this way we go out fighting. Harry, they’re not about to lead us all out of here with lollypops and bubblegum if we do as they say. They’ve already killed some of our friends.” I swallow hard, trying not to think about it just yet. I think the adrenaline inside me is keeping me going right now. If I dwell on losing Lark again and losing Liam, I’d break. I wouldn’t be able to help anyone.

“You’re right. Wait for my signal though,” Harry keeps his eyes on Trad. “So what’s your move here? You force me to choose who dies and then what? You kill us all anyway? Hardly seems fair…”

“I’ll tell you what,” Trad smirks. “You pick who gets to live and I’ll let them walk out of this room alive right now.” I watch Harry hesitate a moment, seriously considering the offer.

“Don’t,” I whisper. I know what he wants. But if he sends me out of this room I’ll never forgive him. There is nothing in this world that will make me walk away from this fight. Nothing. Not even Harry himself. His eyes beg me to consider the option, but I shake my head. “I bet he has men outside that door. I ran into a group of them on my way here. They killed Lark,” I look back to Trad. “You’re not trustworthy. You’re a fucking rat. Nothing you say can be taken seriously.”

“Did I do something to upset you?” He laughs, amused by my words. I can hear Lark telling me to follow my gut again. Now or never.

“No. And you’ll never have another chance,” I raise my gun and shoot him in one swift motion, acting out of passion. Harry dives down, detaching my second gun and shooting the Knight who has started to return fire. I fall back, taking a bullet to the arm but it doesn’t stop me from shooting the guy holding the bomb. I watch Zayn head-butt the guy holding onto him and diving to catch the bomb so it doesn’t hit the ground. Harry shoots the last guy and runs over to me.

“I thought you were going to wait for my signal,” he yells. I watch Zayn gently place the bomb on the floor, looking at it curiously. He lets out a low laugh, kicking it hard… I’m pretty sure he’s saying it’s fake. Son of a bitch. “What were you thinking acting like that? Look what happened.”

“They killed Liam,” I watch Harry’s face fall. He went from being angry to devastated in a matter of seconds.

“What?” I don’t know why I blurted it out like that. I think it might be the shock.

“Liam,” I look over at Zayn before continuing. Zayn jumps down, inching his way towards us. Harry just stands there in shock. I stand up slowly, reaching out to ungag Zayn. I don’t know why I was hoping he’d correct me; I knew it to be true. Zayn just stays quiet for a moment, like he’s still trying to digest the information for himself. I finish untying him and wait, allowing us all a little silence.

“What happened to you?” Zayn’s hands go to my arm, tracing the stab wound and following up to where the bullet just pierced me.

“What happened?” I ask back. His eyes refuse to meet mine, clearly feeling guilty for whatever went down.

“Liam wouldn’t let them take me. He fought so hard but there were too many of them. They surrounded us…” Zayn shakes his head, unable to continue.

“It’s true?” Harry stares at him, eyes watering. Zayn just nods his head. Harry slams his fist into the wall, cursing for two minutes straight. I lean back against the wall, feeling too dizzy to stand. Zayn just bites his lip, silently crying to himself. It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. We weren’t supposed to lose anyone. Isn’t that the way it goes? The heroes always win. That’s us. We’re the good guys.

“Enough,” I hear my voice. I didn’t even realize it was me speaking. Words were just coming out on their own. “We need to finish this. For Liam. We had our moments, now pull yourselves together.” Harry looked at me like he wanted to argue, maybe remind me that he’s the leader, but he doesn’t say a single word. I wait, allowing him to step in. When there’s nothing but silence I continue, “Last I saw, Louis was keeping the defense system up. A few Knights broke into this floor using helicopters-”

“Liam sent some of the guys up to the roof to shoot them down,” Zayn informs me. I smile, knowing Liam would think of everything. He would be the one to listen to right now. So what would Liam do?

“We need to figure out how many more of them there are in the building, secure it and remind them this is our house. We took out the leader of this movement,” I nod over towards Trad’s limp body. “We can do this. Lets finish what they started.”

“You need to go to the medical wing,” Harry finally speaks.

“I’m fine-”

“NO,” Harry screams. He looks at me with all the anger and hurt he’s been trying to keep in. “As long as my heart is beating I’m still your leader. You’re going to the medical wing. You weren’t healthy to begin with and now you’re hit. Twice. At least.”

“Harry is right,” Zayn agrees. I shake my head, not wanting to hear any of it.

“They murdered my friends. Lark is actually dead this time and Liam is gone. I’m not about to sit this one out. I’m fine.”

“You’re going to bleed out,” Harry argues. I rip the bottom of my shirt, using it to tie a tight band above the first wound on my arm, cutting the blood flow off.

“There.”

“That’s just a temporary fix,” Harry shakes his head.

“You’re going to lose your arm if you keep that on for too long,” Zayn warns me.

“Then lets finish this quick enough so that won’t happen.” I walk out the door, leaving Harry standing there, mouth open. I know he’s pissed but I don’t care. He’s not the only one who lost someone today.

“Niall-” Harry follows after me.

“I’m fine.”

“Niall,” he starts again. I stop, turning to face him. He looks like he’s about to lay into me pretty hard.

“There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me give up now,” I inform him.

“I know,” he shakes his head. “But if you don’t survive this… if you die because you didn’t go when I told you to, I’ll never forgive you. Do you hear me? I’ll bring your ass back from the dead to kill you myself. Over and over again. Once won’t be enough.” I smile, laughing a little at the way he says this. He’s so serious right now that I actually believe he’d find a way to do it.

“I love you,” I reply without even thinking. After those words leave my lips I realize how long it’s been since I’ve last said them. Too fucking long to be honest. I should be telling Harry that every minute of every day.

“I love you too,” he takes a step closer. I can feel the heat coming off his body as his nose touches mine. He kisses me, letting his lips linger for a moment. When he pulls away I can tell he doesn’t want to. I just nod in reply, letting him know I feel the same way. It’s been way too long. I just want this shit to end so we can run away together. Get out of this hell.

“So, if I’m not interrupting” Zayn starts to say. Harry and I both laugh, looking at him. “What’s the plan?”

“First, we secure this floor. If we can ensure it’s clean we can get Louis.”

“Louis,” I close my eyes thinking of how we tell him about Liam. I’m pretty sure everyone is thinking the same thing because no one speaks for another minute. We’re probably all going through excuses to say when we show up without him.

“No one says a word to him,” Harry finally breaks the silence. “We can’t. Not now.”

“You’re right,” Zayn nods. “It’s for the best. It’ll only make him an easy target.” I just shake my head, agreeing.

“It’ll be faster if we split up,” Harry hesitates for a moment. “But I don’t think we should.”

“We’re stronger in numbers,” Zayn adds. Harry nods. “So we stay together then.”

“Alright. Follow me,” Harry starts walking down the hall. He’s the only one who actually knows every inch of this floor. I bet he could navigate it with his eyes closed. He leads us into a secret passage and we start walking behind the walls.

“What is this?” I ask, looking around. I never knew this was here.

“How I could be anywhere and everywhere all at once,” Harry smirks. “Not many people know these tunnels exist. This way.”

“Where are we going first?”

“To one of the briefing rooms. I’ll be able to access the security monitors and figure out how many we’re dealing with.” Harry keeps looking straight ahead, not wanting to waste another minute. He walks faster, forcing me to almost jog to keep up with the stride of his long legs. Zayn is behind me moving a little slower. He keeps looking over his shoulder, making sure there are no surprises. Harry stops short, making me run into him. He hits the wall a few times, smiling as it opens. “Here,” he walks out quickly. I follow him, making sure I can see every inch of the room before I relax a little. Zayn runs to the door, stopping beside it. It’s almost like he’s daring someone to walk through it. I just stand there, watching Harry run around. It’s almost like he’s moving in slow motion… maybe that’s just me. I stumble over to the table, sitting on it as quickly as I can. Luckily no one seems to be paying any attention to me. Zayn is too busy staring at the door and the computer distracts Harry, letting me go unnoticed. I take a slow, deep breath in, allowing myself to try to calm down. I need to hang in there. We’re almost done. If I can hold on long enough to find Louis… just a little bit longer…

“How’s it looking?” Zayn asks, still not moving from his position.

“Just a second…” Harry keeps playing around with the computer, pulling up every camera he can find. “I think this floor is clean…” I turn my head slowly towards him, blinking a few times so that he comes into focus. “There’s a group of nights on level six… I don’t know how they got there but they seem to be fighting some of our men. I think we have them cornered there. Let me scan a few more floors…” His voice drifts off. I feel myself getting more and more tired with each passing second. No, I can’t do this. I will not go down. Not yet.

“Louis…” I can only manage to get his name out but that seems like enough for Harry to catch my train of thought.

“He’s safe. I don’t see anyone around him. He seems to be barricaded in the security room.” I let out a sigh of relief at Harry’s words.

“How far away is that?” I need to know how much longer to pull through. I won’t rest until I see his face.

“With the back passages we can be there in a few minutes, easy. I’ll be able to access more monitors from there anyway. Get an actual count of how many bodies there are in the building that don’t belong.”

“Then lets go,” Zayn chimes in. For a moment I forgot he was in here. Why is he in here? I stare at him before remembering he came with us. Shit.

“Are you alright Niall?” Harry asks, walking towards me.

“Never better,” I jump off the table instantly regretting it. The entire room starts spinning, but I force myself to smile. “Lets go get Louis.”

“Right,” Harry nods. He turns back towards the wall and opens the passage back up for us. We start to make our way to the security system, every sense in my body exploding with pain. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I keep forcing my legs to move forward, every step feeling like I’m slamming into the ground with unnecessary force. I clench my jaw, trying to focus on something else. Anything else. It’s starting to feel like hours are going by, not minutes.

“Wait,” Zayn stops. He turns around, looking anyway he can. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Harry asks, suddenly panicked.

“I thought… Never mind.” Zayn shakes his head. “False alarm I guess.”

“You sure?” Harry takes a step back towards Zayn.

“I thought I heard a door slam, but…” Zayn keeps staring behind us. “You guys go on. I’ll catch up with you.”

“No. We’re not splitting up,” Harry reminds him.

“But Louis…”

“I’ll go to him,” I say without hesitation. I know this is the only way Harry will agree, it puts me somewhere he deems as safe while letting them make sure there’s no one coming after us.

“He’s just down a little further. You’ll know it when you’re there. The entrance is impossible to miss… Louis decorated it,” Harry smiles a little thinking of the artwork Louis drew on it. I laugh, just trying to picture it.

“I’m a little scared to see it.”

“We’ll be there as soon as we can,” Harry takes a step back to me. “Be careful.”

“You too,” I nod. I close the gap, kissing him quickly. “I love you,” I whisper. Part of me is afraid this is the last time I’ll ever see him to be honest.

“I love you too,” he whispers back.

“Good luck,” I turn towards the shadow of Zayn’s body. My vision is really starting to blur now.

“You too mate,” Zayn smiles. At least I think he does. I turn back around and head as quickly as I can, my hands against the walls. After what feels like a lifetime but was probably only a minute longer, I see the doodles left by Louis. I laugh, falling against it. Come on Niall, just walk through the door. I bang on the door instead, not really sure how to open it. I can only picture what’s Louis is thinking.

“Louis,” I call out. It feels like that alone took all of my energy. I slump against the door, afraid I can’t hold myself up any longer. Louis opens the door, catching me immediately.

“Niall, bloody hell. What happened?” He holds me in his arms as he drags my feet towards the chair. He places me in it, kneeling in front of me.

“Is it safe?’ I open my eyes, realizing they must’ve closed when I was leaning on the door.

“Where?”

“Everywhere,” I feel my eyes start to close again. No. You will find out what’s going on. You’re stronger than this. My eyes fling open, wider than before. “Can you find them all?”

“Yeah, I can track them. I have been, but it’s not as easy without Harry’s fingerprint. He’s the only one with direct access. I’ve been hacking each compartment little by little, but I didn’t want to do too much incase they were watching my advances and sneaking in behind me.” Louis starts to explain, turning back to the monitors behind him. “Look, this here is the system surrounding the building. It’s in full effect. Works better than the first time. Any unauthorized personal comes within a foot of the gates and it fires a warning shot. Any closer than that and they’re dead. One shot. Full on.”

“How dos it know?”

“A full body scan. If it’s not in our database, which every potential is immediately put into, it knows it’s not one of us.”

“Good,” I start to let my eyes droop a little.

“What happened to you?” Louis starts to cut my sleeve off, looking at my arm. “Fucking hell mate.”

“Can you find Harry on there? He’s with Zayn.”

“He’s with Zayn? Yeah, I’ll try. Hold on.” Louis turns back to the computer, almost forgetting what he was doing. After a moment he turns back to me. “Have you seen Liam?” I almost want to let myself black out right now. It’ll be easier than telling Louis what happened. Maybe if Zayn does it, it won’t be as bad. Or maybe he’ll blame Zayn for it and it’ll all go to hell again.

“Louis,” I open my eyes wide again. All of a sudden I see Lark and Liam standing on both sides of him. “What are you guys doing here?” Louis turns around, trying to figure out who I’m talking to.

“Niall, there’s no one else here…” He sounds concerned, placing a hand up to my forehead.

“You don’t see them? They’re standing right next to you…”

“He can’t see us mate,” Liam steps closer to me. His face is softer than usual, like he’s finally relaxed. He smiles, forcing me to break down.

“So you’re… you’re really…”

“Yes,” Liam nods. “I’m sorry mate.

“No,” I scream out. Louis jumps, staring at me.

“What is going on Niall?” He looks at me, concerned. “You’re sweating. You need to get down to medical a.s.a.p.” He turns back to the screens. “I’ll find the quickest, safest route. Just hang on.” I just keep staring at Liam, wanting to say something else.

“It’s okay,” he starts to smile again. “I’m not in any pain. Don’t mourn me, I chose to fight like this.”

“You didn’t know you’d die,” I whisper.

“Who the hell are you talking to?” Louis turns back around.

“Don’t tell him,” Liam pleads with me. “You don’t need that right now, and neither does he.” I just nod my head. “I knew the risk I was taking. I would have died for any one of you lads. You know that. I don’t regret it.”

“Am I…”

“Not yet,” Lark answers. He steps closer to me, reminding me he’s there too.

“Harry…” My mind immediately jumps back to him.

“He’s not with us, don’t worry.” Liam kneels next to me, placing his hand over my wounds. I feel a chill run through my entire body, making me feel more awake than I have in days. “It’s okay to let go.”

“You don’t need to keep fighting,” Lark nods. “You did your part.”

“I did?” I feel my eyes closing again. “I’m sorry I let you down.”

“Niall?” Louis turns back to me. “Niall you didn’t let me down. Stay with me. Niall. Niall…”

“You didn’t let us down. You set me free,” I can hear Lark smile as he says this. That might be strange, but it’s just the sound of his voice that lets me know he’s showing the widest smile of his life. Or… well... death…

“You saved them Niall. You made sure I didn’t die in vain. You kept Zayn alive for me.” Liam wraps his arms around me, shooting ice through my veins again.

“Okay, Niall… can you hear me? I found a path… Niall?” Louis’s voice fades out as I slowly drift away into the cold surrounding me.


	41. Normal Life

“Are you for real? Don’t even think for a second that I’m gonna do that,” Louis calls out. “You’re mad. All of you.”

“Don’t you want some milk?” Harry smiles, turning away from the cow in front of him.

“Thirsty Lou?” Zayn holds a bucket out to him and Louis tips it back to spill on him.

“Never again,” he smirks.

“You’re gonna pay for that!” Zayn chases him out of the barn. Harry laughs, shaking his head at them.

“Isn’t this the life?” He says kind of to himself. He sighs, frowning at the silence that follows. “Niall,” he sighs again. “I knew you’d love this.” After a few more seconds without a single sound, Harry turns around. “Are you seriously asleep?” Harry throws a pair of gloves at me, causing me to fall off the pile of hay I was laying on.

“Oi! I wasn’t asleep… just resting me eyes,” I reply in a hazy voice.

“What was I saying then?”

“Something sappy,” I smirk. Harry walks over and kicks me gently.

“Niall,” he pouts. I wrap my arms around his right leg and pull it out from under him, causing him to fall across me.

“Yes pet?” I laugh as Harry rearranges himself so that his head lines up with mine. I reach up, pushing the hair back off his face. There’s a loud crash outside. I roll my eyes, leaving my hand on Harry’s cheek. “We should’ve left them back in the compound.”

“Thought about it,” Harry smiles. “But Liam wouldn’t have liked that.” The smile slowly fades from his face. I can feel the change in the room, lifting my head to be closer to Harry’s.

“He would have loved this. He’d be proud of you. Of all of us. He wants us to be happy.”

“Are you?”

“Of course I am,” I lean in closer and kiss him softly. As I pull back I see his smile return. “I’ve never been happier Harry.”

“Neither have I.”

“I’ll be honest though, wasn’t completely sold on the farm fantasy the first time you shared it.”

“No?”

“No. Couldn’t imagine how fun it would be mucking out.”

“It does take a toll on the romance… but that’s why we really brought Louis and Zayn along,” Harry winks.

“Now it all makes sense,” I laugh as we lean our foreheads against one another. “You really did think of everything.”

“We deserve this.”

“You deserve the world,” I correct him.

“You are my world,” he smiles as I turn bright red. He leans moves his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around him, our heads both leaning back towards the floor. It’s sad how new this still is to us. For the first time we’re both able to be in a normal, functioning relationship and it’s perfect.

“Do you guys really have to do that out here?” Louis asks, walking back into the barn with Zayn. They’re both covered in mud, trying to catch their breaths. I keep kissing Harry, sticking my middle finger up at Louis. “Get a room mate,” Louis replies. Harry lifts his head back, turning towards him.

“To be fair, this is a room. Our room. Everything here is our room. You’re just mooching off us.” Harry smirks, satisfied with Louis’s eye roll.

“He has a point,” Zayn nods.

“Whose side are you on?” Louis shoves him lightly.

“I’m done choosing sides,” Zayn shrugs. I laugh, shaking my head in agreement.

“You do you from now on,” I smile.

“Aren’t you guys getting a little bored though? I mean, this life is great don’t get me wrong, but it’s kind of… empty, no?” Louis looks from Zayn, to me, to Harry. I pause for a moment, not wanting to say what’s on my mind.

“It has nothing to do with leaving The League behind,” Zayn practically whispers. I shake my head again; knowing one of us was bound to say it.

“Liam,” I finish.

“Is it true you really saw him when you were passing out? That he was actually there in the room with us?” Louis never really wanted to hear it before. He was so distraught I couldn’t talk to him about it. The only person I told was Harry, but I guess he shared it with the others.

“Yeah, I did.”

“How was he?” Zayn stares at me, afraid of what I’ll say. I smile, thinking back to that day. It’s weird how thoughts of the worst day of my life can make me smile, but that moment was incredible.

“He was Liam,” I shrug. “He was happy, strong, at peace.” I turn to Zayn, hesitant to say the next part. “He didn’t regret anything. In fact, he was proud of what happened. He said he’d do it again if he had to.” Zayn smiled. I could almost see a little weight lift off of his shoulders. He’s been carrying it around for the last month, ever since Liam’s death.

“So he wasn’t mad?” Louis almost laughed asking that. He knew Liam wouldn’t be, but I guess he had to say it.

“Not even a little bit. He was himself. You know, he’s the reason we got through it like we did.” I turn back towards Harry. “I know you didn’t like how I just went for it, shooting Trad without warning or your signal, but it was because of Liam. I knew what he’d do in that situation. He’d fight, like he did for Zayn. Thinking of him, how he would’ve handle it all… that’s how I was able to get my head straight. Help us figure out what needed to be done and how to do it. We have him to thank. As soon as I saw Zayn I knew what happened and it was almost like he took over for me.”

“Then we should thank him,” Harry finally rolls off of me, standing slowly. “Tonight, we’ll have a little dinner in his honor.”

“That sounds perfect,” Zayn smiles. Louis just nods, getting too choked up to speak. He’d never want us to know how he’s feeling but I can see it in his eyes.

“I think he’d really like that,” I stand up, brushing the dirt off my jeans.

 

“Is everything ready?” Louis stares at me impatiently.

“I don’t think tonight’s the right night anymore…” I start to reply.

“Are you kidding me? Tonight is the perfect night.”

“But it’s Liam’s night.”

“And Liam would want to be a part of this.” I watch Louis’s eyes start to tear up again. I’ve never seen him so emotional before. Just the mere thought of Liam and he’s ready to lose it all. I take a second to think about his words. He knew Liam better than any of us. He could practically read his mind. If he thinks Liam would want to be a part of this, than he’s right.

“Okay,” I slowly reply.

“Don’t sound terrified like that mate,” Louis laughs.

“I’m not terrified.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Fuck off,” I push him lightly. “It’s not something to just do without thinking about.”

“You have thought about it.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Louis takes a step closer to me, patting my shoulder.

“I just didn’t think it would be this soon.” I look at him. I must have looked like I was about to pass out from fright because Louis placed both hands on my shoulders, holding me tightly.

“You of all people should know how precious time is. Why waste it? Don’t put something off because you might lose your chance… If I had known when I saw Liam that would have been the last time, there’s so much more I would’ve said. Don’t make that mistake.”

“You’re right,” I nod. “You know, if I didn’t see Liam when I was losing consciousness with you in that security room, the last time I saw him would’ve been when I was fighting with Zayn. Fighting with him even.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I was just so adamant about saving Lark… proving his innocence… I didn’t care who was in my way.”

“Liam of all people would understand that. You know how he was about Zayn.”

“He had good reason to be,” I laugh.

“So did you with Lark,” Louis smiles.

“Love makes us all do strange things.”

“You can say that again,” Louis pulls me in for a hug. “You can do this.”

“Thank you. For everything. Fuck if it wasn’t for you and Liam I never would’ve survived The League.”

“Now that’s just not true. You would’ve been the same hardheaded asshole you were when we met you. Curious and determined to fuck everything up,” he smirked. I just let him have his moment, shaking my head. After a few seconds he drops his arms from me and steps back. The silence filling the room seems nice. It’s like we earned it. After all the noise we’ve had in our lives we need a break.

“Do you think you’ll go back?” I watch Louis turn his back to me. “It’s okay if you want to.”

“Some days I think about it,” he whispers.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. You joined for a reason. You don’t have to leave because we did.”

“Are you out for good then?” Louis finally faces me, waiting for my answer.

“I don’t know. I could never say it’s for good… Especially if they ever needed my help again. I just… I like my life right now.”

“Yeah,” Louis shakes his head. “It’s just boring… I know you’re going to say what Zayn said about me missing Liam, of course I do… I always will… but that’s not this. I know my life is missing him but it’s more to that. I’m bored. I need to be entertained. The League did that. There were always new missions, places to go and people to stop. There was never a day where I had nothing planned.”

“It’s kind of nice though innit? Not needing to follow a schedule, no one depending on us. Just living…”

“That’s where we differ,” Louis laughs softly. “I’m going out of my skin right now. I think the only one who ever understood that was Liam. He couldn’t sit still either. Being cooped up here in seclusion would drive him mad after an entire month of it. He’d love us all being together but…”

“He’d be bored,” I finish for him. Louis nods and I smile. “If you want to go back, no one is judging you.”

“Zayn might.”

“Zayn had a much different experience than you or I had.”

“I guess… I’m sorry. I don’t know where the fuck this is all coming from. It shouldn’t be said now. Not tonight.” Louis shakes it off, trying to change the subject.

“You can say what you think any day or time to me. There’s no slotted time for being a friend.”

“Thanks,” he smiles. “So tonight? You’re ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Louis winks. He walks towards the door, pausing under the frame. “You’re a good person Niall. You’ve earned your normal life.”

“Thank you. And you’ve earned whatever you choose to do.” I watch him nod again before leaving. I walk over towards the mirror, staring at myself. My mind starts to play over everything Louis said, wondering if Harry might feel that way too. He practically grew up in The League. What if that’s a part of him that’s missing now? What if I’m not enough?

“Niall?” Harry shows up in the doorway, smiling nervously. His hand seems to be shaking.

“You all right?” I take a step towards him. His smile seems to get bigger.

“Yeah… you?”

“Yeah,” I nod slowly, taking another step closer. “What’s on your mind?”

“I just… can I uh… can we talk?” His words came out slowly, like he was trying to choose them carefully but couldn’t agree on what to say.

“Yeah,” I nod again, trying to remain calm. I feel my heart start jumping around. “What’s up?”

“I’ve just been talking to Zayn a little bit and…” Harry bites his lip. I take his hands into mine, staring him in the eyes.

“Relax love, just breathe. Whatever it is, you can talk to me.”

“I know,” he laughs. “It’s not that I can’t talk to you, I’m completely comfortable around you. You know that right? I adore you Niall. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t thank god for you in my life.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong… oh god. I’m going about this all wrong… I was supposed to… I was trying to…” I smile as Harry starts to get flustered.

“Harry,” I lean in and kiss him softly.

“Can I just start over?” He whispers against my lips. I laugh, nodding my head.

“Go on.”

“You are amazing. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. The moment I saw you with all of the other potentials I knew that you would change me. I could see it in your beautiful eyes,” Harry smiles as I feel my cheeks turning red. I pull on my collar lightly, trying to release some heat building up inside me. “I know that our time together hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it. Every single second of it. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I might change you almost dying on me,” I smile. He laughs, shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t because it was when I woke up that you told me you loved me for the first time.” He leans in, kissing my forehead. “Every moment has a reaction worth it. I love you Niall, always will. I want you to know what you mean to me. This isn’t something I’ll wake up one day and be bored of. There’s never a dull moment in this relationship. Even when we’re doing nothing together, it’s more exciting than anything I could ever dream up doing. What I’m getting at is…” Harry kneels down onto the floor and I start to laugh. “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if you’re nervous laughter is ruining my romantic attempts.”

“No it’s not that,” I reach into my pocket to explain. “I was planning on doing the same thing tonight” I pull the ring out, laughing even harder now. Harry joins me, standing up and pulling me against him.

“I guess great minds really do think alike.”

“I guess so,” I kiss him again, closing my eyes. I could stand here like this forever.

“So I guess we need to find a new place to live,” Louis walks into the room with Zayn.

“Were you standing outside this whole time?” Harry turns his head to look at them.

“Once Zayn told me what you were up to I followed him to listen,” Louis shrugs.

“Way to throw me under the buss Lou,” Zayn throws his hands up in the air. I laugh, looking at them.

“I cannot tell a lie,” Louis winks.

“Yeah, okay,” Zayn shakes his head.

“Children,” I smirk. “You know we’ll always have rooms for you here.”

“And cows to milk,” Harry adds with a grin.

“And mucking to be done,” I continue.

“Grass to be cut,” Harry shakes his head.

“Where are we moving to now?” Zayn turns to Louis.

“I’m not sure what’s next…” Louis looks at me as we share a little moment of understanding.

“Whatever it is,” I start to smile. “The important thing is we’re all going to be there.”

“All of us,” Zayn looks up to the ceiling. We all immediately followed his gaze, knowing the implications behind it.

“I’ll drink to that,” Louis looks around. “I think it’s time to get this party really started.”

“Where’s the Champagne?” Zayn heads out, leading the way to the kitchen.

“Found it!” Louis yells, pointing to the counter.

“Don’t make a mess again like last time… let Zayn open it,” Harry calls out after them. “Sometimes I think we already have children.” I laugh, nodding my head.

“At least we’re already prepared,” I wink. Harry laughs this time, pressing his lips against mine.

I could definitely get used to normal.


End file.
